Waiting for natural m/c
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Support
Forum Name: Life After Miscarriage
Forum Description: Up to one in five pregnancies ends in miscarriage, yet for many the loss of a pregnancy is isolating and lonely. Share your thoughts and feelings here with others who have experienced loss.
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34936
Printed Date: 29 April 2025 at 11:27am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Waiting for natural m/c
Posted By: mitten
Subject: Waiting for natural m/c
Date Posted: 28 July 2010 at 12:39pm
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Hi all,
I found out at a 7-week scan two weeks ago that there was no longer a heartbeat and baby hadn't grown (had also had scan at 5.5 weeks that showed faint heartbeat). This is my second miscarriage in six months. The first time I found out about our missed miscarriage at 12-week scan, in January, I had a D&C within the week. I really hated the hospital experience though, especially since they made my husband go home (from north shore all way to west Auckland) rather than wait for me, and they didn't ring him to say I was okay and he could come get me until I was dressed and ready to go (after bawling alone for an hour) so I then had to wait there for another hour ... it was such a horrible and lonely experience. So I decided to wait for this miscarriage to happen naturally. Yesterday at work at about 2pm I had a brown old-blood-looking discharge with a couple of tiny clots, and I had a really sore back, so I figured it was starting and took the rest of the week off. But nothing happened overnight, and today I just have a headache and nothing on the pad at all. Was it a false alarm? Should I go back to work so I can take more time off later? Does a natural m/c usually start slowly? Is there anything you can do to speed things up naturally? I've been vacuuming like crazy and moving furniture and everything! I have no idea what to expect, and really want it to start now as if it hasn't by the end of the week then doc will prob want me to go for a D&C next week, which I still don't want. I'm so ready for it to start, I'm sick of waiting and there's only so much housework you can do in a day to distract yourself! Thanks for any advice. |
Replies:
Posted By: didi99
Date Posted: 28 July 2010 at 1:11pm
Mitten firstly I am so sorry to hear about your loss big  from me.
My 1st MC was the same as you and also had the D&C at Nth Shore, my 2nd I MC naturally at about 6.5weeks. Given the choice I would definately do what you are doing and let things happen naturally although my hospital experience was good (well good for what was happening). I see a naturopath and after my D&C she said there are some herbs she could of given me to move things along naturally, so that could be something you could look into. I know in some places they give Misoprostol to move things along however I don't think that is an option at North Shore. As for the way things progressed with my natural one I started spotting on a Weds night and spotted all Thurs till about 5 when what felt like everything came flooding out. Unfortunately everyone and every MC is different so it's hard to know how this is going to go for you, I really hope it doesn't drag on for to long for you. -------------  Angel Babies Nov 09, May 10, Dec 10
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Posted By: babygiraffe
Date Posted: 28 July 2010 at 2:39pm
| I found out at around 9 weeks that our baby had died at 7 weeks 2 days. Ironically the same day we had the scan and saw a heartbeat. I started spotting two days after the 7 week scan and by 9 weeks when we found out there was no heartbeat I was still spotting and cramping. Continued to do this for another week and still nothing! Clearly the little soul wanted to hang around a bit longer. I ended up having a D&C because I was bridesmaid for my friend and didn't want a miscarriage hanging over my head on her special day. Who knows how long I would've waiting though? |
Posted By: babygiraffe
Date Posted: 28 July 2010 at 2:40pm
| Sorry, I forgot to say I am really sorry for your loss. It is such a horrible time. Big hugs from me too x |
Posted By: mitten
Date Posted: 28 July 2010 at 3:24pm
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Thanks very much for your kind words. It's so comforting to hear other people's stories. There seems to be a bit of action now so am settling in with a cup of tea and hot water bottle, and silly reality TV on YouTube.
I think this little guy's heart stopped beating within a day or two of my 5.5-week scan (thought we were 7 weeks then, hence the early scan). Then he hadn't grown at all in almost two weeks, and heartbeat was gone. I don't think I'll get an early scan next time. After two miscarriages, I honestly think I know now when the baby's gone -- I felt it so strongly this time, all my symptoms just disappeared, boobs deflated, could suddenly stay awake after 9pm, ravenous hunger tapered off. Exactly the same thing happened with first miscarriage at about 10 weeks, but I thought then that maybe it was normal. Is anyone else planning to avoid an early scan in future? Of course it's probably easier said than done. I'm pretty much guaranteed to freak out and go for one eventually! xxx |
Posted By: Bobsta
Date Posted: 28 July 2010 at 8:25pm
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Hi Mitten, I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through. I really hope it goes the way you want it to. I mc at 7 weeks but didn't find out till 12 week scan then had D&C done at 13 weeks. It's heartbreaking to go through it all so I hope you are coping okay.
To answer your question, the next time around I will get early scans and lots of BT's. Two reasons, I have a higher chance of mc from medical condition (just found that out recently after having first mc) and secondly I was so sick with hyperemesis (extreme ms to the point of being in hospital as couldn't even keep water down) so I don't want to spend weeks being sick when I don't have to be. I hope you are doing okay ------------- Me 34 Him 35 DD almost 2 years old and... Baby #2 on it's way! http://www.babygaga.com/" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: babygiraffe
Date Posted: 29 July 2010 at 9:27am
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Yes Mitten, I will have to have early scans to make sure things are going ok. I think I'd rather just know and be prepared next time round. I dont think there is much I could / couldn't do to make the next pg stress free - I'm going to be on edge for 8 months, I think everyone that has miscarried would be. I just have to be positive and hope for the best. I think that when our baby is ready for us then it will stay safe. Thats what I'm telling myself anyway!
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Posted By: monkeys
Date Posted: 29 July 2010 at 12:12pm
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I can completely understand where you are at. I had a scan 2 weeks ago that was abnormal, showed at 6w2d but the sac was more like 8w3d, so went back last week and the baby hadn't grown.
I am not a big fan of hospitals so was hanging out for it to happen naturally - which as of yet hasn't happened, I am getting to the point of considering the D&C more for some closure, and also wondering how long I should wait for. I really hope it happens naturally for both of us, although I seem to have in my head that it won't be that easy for me 
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Posted By: MB1970
Date Posted: 29 July 2010 at 12:36pm
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Hi Mitten and Monkeys,
Big hugs to you both
I am also in the missed m/c boat, finding out at 12 weeks that bub had stopped growing at 7 this time last year. I decided to let my body m/c naturally and spotted for about 3 /1/2 weeks with small clots etc - by the time I would have been 16 weeks I was ready for closure and sought out an accupuncturist who was able to get things moving for me. I saw him once on a Tues to prep, then again on Friday - within an hour of my appointment I was in full m/c which lasted for approx 2 hours that day with final stage for 2 hrs on the Sat. Apparently the preg sac had continued to grow until almost 14 weeks so it was quite painful but for me was the best thing to do as my body doesn't manage General anaethetic that well. Monkeys - the midwife at EPAC at Waikato hosp was very supportive of my decision to wait but I do think she thought I was a bit mad! Please feel free to pm if you'd like to talk or anything as I am in Hams also. MB |
Posted By: mitten
Date Posted: 29 July 2010 at 4:18pm
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Well it happened this morning. It was a bit scary how sudden it was, I hadn't expected it to be like that, seemed to all come out at once. Luckily my husband hadn't gone to work yet so he has been able to stay with me.
Still having really painful cramps now that Panadol doesn't seem to touch!  But bleeding has slowed right down. Is there anything you can do about pain on top of Panadol?
Monkeys, so sorry to hear you are in the same situation. Waiting is hard - such a limbo feeling. If you still want to wait then I recommend asking your doc for some decent pain relief medicine so you can take it once it starts! Great to know that acupuncture might help ... although hopefully pg #3 will be third time lucky for me! xxx |
Posted By: babygiraffe
Date Posted: 29 July 2010 at 4:30pm
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My doctor prescribed me with voltaren pesseries (spelling?) which were really good. I was also taking codene. Perhaps you could go see you doctor?
Monkeys, I hope things happen for you soon. Take care... |
Posted By: didi99
Date Posted: 29 July 2010 at 7:00pm
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Glad things have progressed for you mitten, don't know if I can give you any advice on the pain management except maybe nurofen and a wheat bag.
Monkeys I hope you aren't waiting for much longer. We are here for both of you if you need to unload. ------------- Angel Babies Nov 09, May 10, Dec 10
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Posted By: mitten
Date Posted: 30 July 2010 at 1:10pm
| Doctor prescribed Tramadol - wish I'd had it yesterday, but feel SO relieved to not be in pain today. Thanks for your support through yesterday, lovely ladies. So good to know that others know what it's like. |
Posted By: babygiraffe
Date Posted: 30 July 2010 at 1:45pm
| How are you feeling today mittens? I hope you are doing ok and have lots of love and support around you. |
Posted By: Bobsta
Date Posted: 30 July 2010 at 9:19pm
Hey lovely ladies, hope you guys are doing okay? Have been thinking of you guys today. We're here to support you if you need us.  ------------- Me 34 Him 35 DD almost 2 years old and... Baby #2 on it's way! http://www.babygaga.com/" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: mitten
Date Posted: 31 July 2010 at 1:48pm
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Hello,
Thanks for asking -- I'm definitely on the mend. The pain relief the doc prescribed was VERY strong and so even though I haven't had any today I still feel a bit of a space cadet (no more pills for me!!) but I'm not in any pain and bleeding has slowed right down. I'm so glad it happened at home this time. It was so much better with my husband there, for him as well as for me I think. It's so hard for the dads, having to stay strong to support us, and the whole thing is much more abstract for them so I think seeing the reality of the m/c really helped both me and my man come to terms with what has happened. Mind you, I don't think I could've waited too much longer and kept my sanity, so it is always good to know the hospital/D&C is there just in case! How are you doing Monkeys? Thanks so much for all your support xox |
Posted By: monkeys
Date Posted: 02 August 2010 at 11:42am
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Hey ladies,
Well my wait is still going on - and for my sanity I went to the hospital today and have booked in for the D&C for Thursday - this will be a month or so after bubs stopped growing and I need closure. Have given myself a few more days hanging onto the hope that my body may do it naturally still. I have had a bit of a brown discharge this morning which I haven't had till now, so secretly hoping this is the start, and that with the pressure of the deadline my body will spring into action Glad things are going well for you now mitten, i am at the point when I need to be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel - I just don't feel myself still and think once it has happened naturally or not then I can focus on getting back to being the person I want to be - if that makes sense. I feel for my DP as I don't think he has seen the happy fun side of me for weeks now, and won't let him near me as as crazy as it sounds scared that if we do 'it' then it may bring on the miscarriage at that time, and can't imagine that mess in the bed (sorry if thats too much information!!) just one of the many emotions/thoughts going through my head at the moment |
Posted By: Cherub
Date Posted: 02 August 2010 at 7:56pm
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I am also waiting to have a miscarriage naturally, we found out at the 7 week scan that I have blighted ovum, so the embryo must have died early on, but the sac continues to grow. I have started getting some cramps and a bit of spotting today (a week after the scan), so hopefully this is the start of it. I'm a bit worried about it all coming out at work or something though.
Mitten and Monkeys so sorry for your loss too. Monkeys hopefully things are on the move for you too. Although I'm a bit scared of what's to come I just want to get on with it, I hate being in limbo. Anyway thanks for this thread, it sometimes just nice to know that there are other people going through the same thing. |
Posted By: mitten
Date Posted: 02 August 2010 at 9:11pm
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Hi Cerub
Oh dear, you poor thing -- it's nice to have company but so sad that so many of us are going through this. I hope you can take some time off work, it must be horrible spotting or cramping at work and wondering if it's going to happen there. In case you are wondering about the speed of things, I think it's really different for everyone but mine started with brown discharge last Tuesday afternoon. That carried on in a minor way through Wednesday but I'd taken the day off so I stayed home, as I felt I needed it mentally if nothing else. Then I woke up on Thursday morning to quite a lot of blood, rushed to the loo and everything happened pretty quickly from that point on. Monkeys, sounds like the process might have started for you but if it doesn't happen 'in time' then at least with a D&C you can start moving on -- and having done it both ways I now think there's definite pros and cons to each. I still don't feel myself, couldn't concentrate at work today at all. And I haven't let my partner near me either! All in good time I suppose.... Good luck you two xox |
Posted By: monkeys
Date Posted: 03 August 2010 at 8:12am
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Well the discharge seems to have stopped - so who knows what my body is thinking, but now to add another spanner to the works, i am full of a cold so now I am worried that come Thursday they won't put me under a general - like Cherub I too worry about it all happening at work, and am almost scared to go to the toilet here!!
I have to be here today as I have a couple of important meetings but tomorrow I think I will try and rest up in the hope they can operate on Thurs |
Posted By: Cherub
Date Posted: 03 August 2010 at 9:20am
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Oh no monkeys, hopefully they can still do the op, keep us updated, fingers crossed for you.
Well mine ended up happening really fast after all, it started late last night, needless to say I haven't had too much sleep. It has been fairly heavy, but not too painful which I'm surprised as I have endo so was expecting the worse. I have taken the day off work, I have had so much time off lately. |
Posted By: Bobsta
Date Posted: 03 August 2010 at 6:58pm
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Hugs to all, I'm really sorry you guys are going through this right now
------------- Me 34 Him 35 DD almost 2 years old and... Baby #2 on it's way! http://www.babygaga.com/" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: monkeys
Date Posted: 09 August 2010 at 2:21pm
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Just stopping in to fill you guys in on the rest of my story.
Well Thursday came and still no natural m/c, so off to the hospital I went. I must say the staff at Waikato were awesome - I can't say enough about them. I think part of the reason I wanted natural was because I was so scared of the procedure and going under anaesetic etc, but all went well, was only under for about 20 mins. I have felt a real relief since, the waiting not knowing when it would happen, and being worried everytime I wen to the bathroom - especially at work was taking more out of me than I realised I think, and on reflection I think if I could go back in time, I would probably elect to have the D&C from the start, it has given me closure and as much as I wish my little angel was still with us, I can now move on. It is a real personal decision as to which way to go, and I was so sure that I wanted to go the natural way - but think the procedure was right for me, so any ladies not sure of which way to go, don't feel pressure either way but the procedure was much better than I ever thought. Time for me to move to the TTC threads - and see if I can have more luck next time Take care |
Posted By: Princess_Bubs
Date Posted: 09 August 2010 at 3:22pm
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to you today Monkeys, I'm so sorry for everything you've gone through.
I'm glad you can now start to move on and have some closure. I went through something very similar, I waited for a natural miscarriage for 2 weeks and it was far more torture than I even realised at the time. I would agree with your advice to others, the whole emotional and thought process leading to a D and C is far worse than the actual procedure, and as you say - generally the staff are wonderful and you're in good hands. It sounds like you've got a lovely attitude so keep it up and do lots of nice things for yourself in the near future. x ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  Two Precious Angel Babies 2010 / 2011
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Posted By: MerlinFluff
Date Posted: 10 August 2010 at 12:10pm
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to everyone in here who is going through this terrible time. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I am crying for you all ------------- ***Elly***  
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Posted By: mitten
Date Posted: 14 August 2010 at 12:45pm
| Big hugs to both of you Monkeys and Cherub. I hope you are doing okay. Almost three weeks on for, me, I'm finally starting to feel myself again and feel a bit lighter and more optimistic. I hope everything goes really well for you all next time xoxox |
Posted By: spanky77
Date Posted: 24 August 2010 at 2:11pm
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I guess its been a while since OP, but I’m wondering the same thing. Mitten I can understand you hating the hospital experience, especially if they booted your man out. I mean, what are you supposed to do, the whole point of being there is to have your baby taken out, there’s no distraction, nothing to get on with or feel “normal” doing except wait and sit tight while they do what they need to?
I’ve just found out I’ve had another missed mc, I should be 10 weeks on Thursday, but scan shows baby stopped growing at 6w3d, so its been over 3 weeks in there. Some spotting, but that’s been intermittent over the entire pregnancy, and has pretty much stopped in the last 2-3 weeks anyway. No cramping. I had missed mc last year, found out at 13w2 and had misoprostol at 13w5d as nothing seemed to be moving. Baby was measuring 8w1d then. I tried everything that weekend (found out on a Friday), cleaned the house, hoovering, also dug the garden. We completely blitzed an area of wasteland at the back and dug in a vege garden over 2 days – major physical work. It didn’t start anything though. Ideally I would prefer for this mc to happen naturally. I don’t know if this is how it works, but I feel like my body needs to recognise its time to let go and figure out what it needs to do, instead of having this induced. DP doesn’t want unnecessary chemicals (ie miso) although I know ultimately its up to me what I do. I definitely don’t want D+C if I can avoid that. Considering acupuncture too. Mitten: “all my symptoms just disappeared, boobs deflated, could suddenly stay awake after 9pm, ravenous hunger tapered off” Yes! This is what happened to me, maybe a week after though. I won’t say I knew, but I was pretty convinced. I’m interested in the avoiding of early scans . . . I have read that the professionals don’t know for sure that ultrasound is 100% safe, but when I’ve asked sonographers (I’ve been especially jumpy about the transvaginal ones) they’ve said its completely safe. Of course. In my case, 2 missed miscarriage, I would much rather know if the baby is gone as there’s no way of knowing otherwise. I had an early scan at 5 weeks, but that was because I was spotting, had low hcg’s, one sided pain, and didn’t want to be on tropical island holiday with an 8-9 week ectopic. Guess with early scans (with me) its 6 of one, half a dozen of the other. Love to you all, espec Monkeys and Cherub - from the March11 thread |