Pregnant again
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Pregnant
Forum Name: Pregnancy
Forum Description: Pregnant! Wanting to chat to other mums-to-be (or dads-to-be)? Share your thoughts, experiences, and ideas... This is that place!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=35034
Printed Date: 20 August 2025 at 6:44am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Pregnant again
Posted By: yogalindy
Subject: Pregnant again
Date Posted: 02 August 2010 at 7:55am
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Hi there,
not sure if any one remembers me but I found out I was pregnant last year totally freaked out not really wanting it etc... had a miscarraige 7 weeks later, was relieved really although the miscarraige was a bit yuk. I am currently in the UK the digital test put me a 1-2 weeks pregnant so doea that mean I am 4 weeks preganat - can anyone help? also I still have the same total panic although it really helped to share it with my mum and dad. The other thing is I am feeling rather heavy and full just below my belly button is this normal at 4 weeks and today I notice ever so faintly light pink almost peachy colour fluid when wiping myself after the loo, but only the one time. Please some one help, I am arranging a docs appointment this week. 
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Replies:
Posted By: kiwisj
Date Posted: 02 August 2010 at 2:26pm
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I haven't used one of those digital tests that tells you how far along you are .. what do the instructions say on the back? If it's the Clear Blue one I think they're quite clear about what they mean? But also say you should confirm dates with a doctor? How late is your AF?
I had that heavy and full feeling early in pregnancy, yep it is normal  It's hard not to freak out about everything in these early days (specially if it's unexpected??) but try and take it easy until your appointment with the doctor and I hope everything goes well for you this time.
How soon can they see you at your doctor's? ------------- SJ Callum - Dec 2008 Daniel - Oct 2010 |
Posted By: AuntieSarah
Date Posted: 02 August 2010 at 7:22pm
 GOod that you have your mum and dad to talk to about it.
The digital tests tell you how many weeks after conception. If it is 2 weeks after conception then you are 4 weeks pregnant (if you have a 28 day cycle). Hope that helps a bit, and hope you get to see the doctor soon to talk to them about it all. |
Posted By: yogalindy
Date Posted: 02 August 2010 at 7:54pm
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Hey thank you it is lovely to get some friendly support, I am also learning that the bloating may actually be alot of wind too! Well I am seeing a doctor on Wednesday.
It does make a real difference being with my mum you know, I was so frightened when I was in NZ last year without my family except my 'now husband'. however I am still in the miscarraige zone I guess, which I am still thinking about, I am quite frightened about having a baby and my body changing as I love my road cycling and yoga...keep chatting as I would really appreciate some friendly banter. |
Posted By: mothermercury
Date Posted: 02 August 2010 at 8:25pm
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Congratulations!
You may be interested in joining the ladies over in the http://www.ohbaby.co.nz/Forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34812&PN=1&TPN=1 - Due in April 2011 thread. There'll be lots of ladies at the same stage as you. |
Posted By: yogalindy
Date Posted: 02 August 2010 at 11:36pm
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Hi Miss Shell
ok thank you for this, but I guess I am still in the miscarraige zone until the end of September, so I have only told my mum and dad an no one else, although I am panicking about what is happening to me, I am also quite nervous about my body rejecting it as this happened after 7 weeks, I am currently into my 5th week |
Posted By: lisa85
Date Posted: 03 August 2010 at 10:16am
Hey YogaLindy! I remember your story :) Congrats on the pregnancy  That's so cool that you decided to try for another after the shock of the last BFP. guess you caught the baby bug 
It's such a curse knowing so early. I was in the same boat last month I got a BFP at only 3 weeks pregnant. I then miscarried at 5 weeks  If I hadn't of tested I probably wouldn't have even realised. I really hope it all goes well for you this time. Don't worry too much about the exersize if you've always been active there's no reason to stop. Check with your doctor but i'm sure they will tell you the same. Also If your fit and active I doubt your body will change much. I have so many friends that have 1 or 2 kids and they look just as fab as they did before.
Just keep thinking happy thoughts and try to keep busy xx -------------  
TTC #3 since Jan 2010 - PCOS MC April 2010 |
Posted By: mammaE
Date Posted: 03 August 2010 at 2:56pm
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Congrats on your pregnancy!
There is no need to stop exercising, just don't push yourself too hard. The fitter you are through your pregnancy the better you 'll feel. I was really fit when I got pregnant, I use to ride racehorses for a job and I kept riding 5-6 horses every day until I was 6 monhts. After that I was just doing ground work at the stables but still pretty physical work. Stoped working 2 weeks before DD was born. I had a great pregnancy and lost most of my baby weight only a few months later without even trying. Good luck with everything!
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Posted By: yogalindy
Date Posted: 04 August 2010 at 2:03am
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Hi Thanks for all your advice and support chickas, I am in two minds over this pregnancy I was hoping my age ( 38) and statitics were on my side and that I would not get pregnant, however I was also thinking about the 'regret' side of things, would I regret not having children or would I regret having children, it has not been easy, yes maybe there was a bit of me that has thrown caution to the wind and just stopped using contraception to see what happened but I am so frightened about all of this...
I look at other chat forums on the site and everynoe is so happy for each other and you are for me but I am feeling a bit confused on whether this is waht I want.... well it does take 2. Sorry for depressing rant I am just feeling this way. I am totally scared about getting big and the pain of birth. |
Posted By: Marengo
Date Posted: 04 August 2010 at 12:31pm
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yogalindy before i started trying to concieve (before i even wanted children) i too was terrified of getting big and the pain of birth, but its only temporary remember, just a couple of months and then you will go right back to normal body wise!
If you read other mothers birth stories it may help also, as the more relaxed you are about the impending birth the more smoothly it should go,. just think positively that everythig happens for a reason and you are meant to be a mummy! oh and there is pain relief if required too!! it might help if you could go and see a councellor about your feelings? as time goes on and you have time to think aobut things you might become excited about having a lovely baby in a few months time.. i know more people that regret not having them, and not ONE person that does regret having children.. is your husband/partner excited? just be gentle with yourself and take care of yourself too.. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
 Our angel Ella Louise born 13.04.
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Posted By: lisa85
Date Posted: 04 August 2010 at 12:45pm
Well this is probably going to sound a little insensitive but I was kind of frustrated to read your last post. Perhaps you should have taken the sensible approach especially after the pain and fear you went through with your last unplanned pregnancy and actually stuck with using contraception until you and your partner sat down and talked about what you really want. Really it doesn't sound like you are really ready to have a baby so I think just throwing out contraception and seeing what would happen is not the best approach when your not 100% sure you want and are ready to have a child. In any case perhaps counselling would help. I'm sure at the end of the day if you have this baby it will be the best thing that ever happened to you and you'll look back and wonder what you were so worried about :) I also have known a lot of women that have had whoopsie babies at bad times but they have never been happier with the outcome so I wish you the best and I hope things get easier for you soon. -------------
TTC #3 since Jan 2010 - PCOS MC April 2010 |
yogalindy wrote:Posted By: newme
Date Posted: 04 August 2010 at 1:12pm
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I agree with Lisa85.
I think you should be less worried about your body changing, the pain of birth, and maybe changing your exercise plan and a bit more concerned about looking after this little life you have created, who is relying on you to provide for it - love it and look after it, and do what is best for the baby. This baby wasn't an accident, and you really need to step up and take responsibility and put the baby first. I know you are scared, and that is natural but you need to put things in perspective. I think perhaps you would benefit from some counselling, to talk through your issues. |
Posted By: lisa85
Date Posted: 04 August 2010 at 1:37pm
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Absolutly well put Hila1
And sorry yogalindy if my reply seemed a little harsh. I do know what it's like my twins weren't planned and they came at a very tricky time but it just seems to be something so many people jump into without thought and it gets to me a little. This is a life we are discussing after all. I normally wouldn't judge and It wouldn't bother me if it was the first time but you have been through this recently and still insist on not using contraception despite not knowing if this is something that you want. But I'm sure you will find plenty of support here as well. I think even those that plan it all and desperatly want children worry a little when they finally get that BFP. Just make sure to look after yourself and be ready to step up to the plate :) Your a Mum now. -------------
TTC #3 since Jan 2010 - PCOS MC April 2010 |
Posted By: yogalindy
Date Posted: 04 August 2010 at 7:16pm
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Hi All and Lisa85
That is ok I can take other peoples opinions and I realise that when I tell people how all this has happened some people may not agree with my methods or thoughts etc. think for me that the one time last year that we used nothing it took one go to get preganat and based on that I was in such shock - my fertility and my 'now' husbands were sharp as! Since getting married in June this year I guess I may have relaxed a little and thought oh well it is now or never and I really did think my age would slow my fertility down and I thought well it may take a few months etc, but no! it took one go again! I am just in shock at how quickly I am getting pregnant at 38 years old! Apart from last post I am feeling better about this one if you compared me to last year but I am still frightened, my husband won't believe it or get excited until it passes the 12 weeks only because of the miscarraige I had last year, which really upset him. But just on the issue of Miscarraige I do want to say that my experience is no one wants to talk about it and I do feel pressure that If I felt relieved over having one then I am a bad person, why? it was not the right time, I was not mentally in the baby zone and yes I was relieved my body dealt with it - I was not sad, except for one little thing, that I had a ' prescence there and it had gone' otherswises I was able to get on with my life aftwards and based on this I do feel that for some women a miscarraige is not always a sad thing. I can't be the only one on the planet surely! Anyway all that aside, I will admit that I am feeling a bit scared about miscarraying this one, isn't it funny? maybe I want this one more, I have thought about it because I just don't want to go through 2 weeks of heavly bleeding and pain. It had made a huge difference having mum around and she is doing a good job to calm my nerves, her excitment helps me cope with looking at positives. I have already had counselling for the last one last year, it helped but didn't resolve anything. I think it is fear of the ' Unkown' and wanting to be in control - this is part of my personality and now I am not in control. I guess what will be will be....and I am only 4 weeks. I do enjoy your posts and actually really it really helps me, it is nice to have some company online.
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Posted By: newme
Date Posted: 04 August 2010 at 8:16pm
I understand you are in a difficult place, but as someone who has experienced a miscarriage, I am starting to find your posts quite offensive. It seems to me, that the reason you don't want a miscarriage is because you don't want bleeding and pain for YOURSELF!! What about your baby? It doesn't sound like you really care at all about the little life growing inside you. I will not read this thread again, or any other threads you start, as I just think that you are on another planet to me. And you seem to take offense to what Lisa wrote, but i think that there are a lot of readers who could be taking offense to your posts. |
Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 04 August 2010 at 8:48pm
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???? maybe I've missed something but I'm not sure where some people are coming from with their posts.
YL - totally normal to be completely freaked, even if it's something you've planned and wanted for years. The fact you're "panicking about your body rejecting it" suggests that at one level, you are quite keen on this PG and looking forward to meeting your baby even though other parts of you are confused or ambivalent. And that's OK! Great you've got your mum and dad to talk to. ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: freckle
Date Posted: 04 August 2010 at 9:36pm
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YL - I totally planned my current pregnancy and spent 18 months trying to conceive and sorry if this also offends anyone, but when it finally happened I freaked out and thought what the hell am I doing?? was this a big mistake?? how will I handle 3 kids?? I think freaking out is soooo normal, and all the hormones don't help!! ------------- mum to 3 lovely girls :D |
Posted By: yogalindy
Date Posted: 05 August 2010 at 2:01am
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Just went to the docs today - quite a different set up in the UK to the New Zealand system - I favour NZ! I am 5 weeks now and won't see a mid wife until I am 7-8 weeks then she will take HIV, Hep and blood count tests, but I don't get to chose my midwife - back in NZ I was able to. She didn't seem too bothered about my previous miscarriage.
Now.................. Freckle and Flissy! thankyou there are women who understand and you are both totally right, I think there maybe a bit of me that is ok with this but I am also freaking out , and I feel with other posts mentioning what about the' little one' believe me when you are confused and frightened like me you are not thinking on that level and certainly not thinking about it being a baby at 5 weeks even more so when you have previoulsy had a miscarraige at 7 weeks. I have not come here to wind people up, it is me and I am frightened, yes what I say might offend but that is really down to individual perspectives and experiences, it is nice to get some understanding from above threads, I also think my body is totally taking over here - we are not incontrol of how we operate - really and so I think it is down to science and nature on how I cope with this and what my body wants to do. Yes I can help it along and relax etc..but it is a frightening time, not all of us giggle with excitment at the thought of pregnancy, as thrads above have metioned freaking out also seems normal, great for those who don't but realise that not every woman on the planet is insitnctivly maternal! If it makes some people angry so be it that is your perogative but what I love to read are threads that are understanding and positive constructivly and like minded. I can't believe every woman in the forum is the same? I'm sure at the end of the day if you have this baby it will be the best thing that ever happened to you and you'll look back and wonder what you were so worried about :) I also have known a lot of women that have had whoopsie babies at bad times but they have never been happier with the outcome so I wish you the best and I hope things get easier for you soon. Thankyou Lisa85 - I know you mentioned you would sound a bit insensitve but I can take it, what was lovely from you was written above. And Marengo - lovely words also and it is this sort of thing that helps not words implying ' how dare you feel this way' . A BIG thank you to those that have been helpful!  
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Posted By: yogalindy
Date Posted: 05 August 2010 at 2:03am
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Marengo! thankyou also, I have just re-read your post, you sound lovely and your words are good, I read and taken them in.
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Posted By: yogalindy
Date Posted: 05 August 2010 at 2:07am
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And Lisa85
I'm sure at the end of the day if you have this baby it will be the best thing that ever happened to you and you'll look back and wonder what you were so worried about :) I also have known a lot of women that have had whoopsie babies at bad times but they have never been happier with the outcome so I wish you the best and I hope things get easier for you soon. I too like your words, ( above ) that is ok if you felt your were insensitive, I can take it. it is god for me to hear comparatives etc...as it helps me think and process what is going on.
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Posted By: lisa85
Date Posted: 05 August 2010 at 8:41am
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Glad you didn't take offense hun. I really do understand how scary it is to get that BFP. I think we all go through that That's why I believe you will get plenty of support and helpful advice here. It is a life that you are responsible for until the day you die after all.
I guess I was just reading the posts and thinking about all the ladies on here that have been trying for years without success how they might read this and think like myself why would you take the risk to get pregnant a second time without being 100% sure that this is something you really want in your life. I mean if you get pregnant on a one night whoopsie the odds are that despite your age your body is all geared up to do it again. You clearly take great care of your body. Have you and your husband dicussed how you would handle it if your baby was physically or mentally impaired? What if you find out it's twins, triplets or more. Once your over the age of 35 mulitple pregnancy is a much higher possiblity. I'm not trying to scare you I just know my husband and I dicussed all these possibilitys over the last year before we finally said ok we are on the same page and we both desperatly want this so lets start trying for our third. Look theres no perfect time and like I said earlier I total understand that whoopsie happen after all thats how I got my gorgeous twins but it was just the fact that you let it happen so quickly a second time withouyt being positive it's something you want. I really do stand by what I said though I really honestly believe that once you have this baby (or babies hehe) in your arms you will never be happier. I have yet to come across someone that regrets having thier baby. Really though I think I'll shut up now lol. The deed is done I guess and I'm probably just mouthing offf about a situation that can't be changed I just got a little frustrated. I really do wish you the best. Congrats again -------------
TTC #3 since Jan 2010 - PCOS MC April 2010 |
Posted By: freckle
Date Posted: 05 August 2010 at 2:02pm
I absolutely agree that it is hard at 5 weeks to think about what is happening as a baby... I had several very early pregnancy losses over the 18 months we were TTC and it is only very recently that I have started to think "oh I'm having a BABY"... before now it was just like seeing what happens, trying to not think too much or get too attached... as well as dealing with the initial "OMG what am I doing???" I was young when I had my first (21) and will be 36 when this one arrives... For me I have been a mum for years now, but I have friends my age just embarking on motherhood for the first time, and often it seems the changes that have to be made to accomodate a baby when your older can be more disconcerting when your so use to your freedom and independence... It is a massive life change and if it didn't freak you out at least a bit I think you'd be a bit naive
Pregnancy can be such a scary time, not just the worry of MC but you are losing some control over your body too... it's someone elses wee house for the next 9 months and everything you do has to be what's best for them... some people love pregnancy but others find it a physically and emotionally difficult time. As you say, you can't help how you feel! You should definitely join the due date threads in here... it's a great source of support from other people who are at the same stage of pregnancy... ------------- mum to 3 lovely girls :D |
Posted By: Jelly
Date Posted: 05 August 2010 at 10:23pm
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Congrats on your pregnancy! I remember seeing your name once or twice last year. Am I right in thinking English is not your first language? That may be why your posts are coming across a bit harsh.
I understand what you mean about feeling relieved when you miscarried - When I got UTD for the first time I was much too young and basically ignored the fact I was pregnant. When I lost the baby a week or 2 later I cried, of course I was horrified but I knew it was not meant to be and it was better that way. I still think about that baby, who would be nearly 2 years old now I think. (I never went to a doctor so I'm not entirely sure on my dates) It's perfectly normal to be scared witless at this point, you haven't had time to process it yet! And getting pregnant the first time you try would have been a shock too. But if you chose to get pregnant this time then a large part of you must really want this baby, so I wish you all the luck in the world :) (Pregnancy doesn't always suck either, I felt almost completely normal. Just a bit rounder than usual!  )------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: yogalindy
Date Posted: 06 August 2010 at 9:32am
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Thank you thank you thank you.....reading your above threads are making me feel so much better and you are reassuring me, it is great to have this support. You understand and I like that and all I was doing was talking what was in my mind hoping that similar feelings and experiences from other women would appear and they have.
THANKYOU
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Posted By: Richie
Date Posted: 06 August 2010 at 1:21pm
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Congrats and good luck yogalindy, and good on you for being so honest about your feelings.
I for one, haven't been offended by anything you have said, but in saying that, I have never misscarried so I guess I can't really comment there. All I can say is yes, pregnancy is such a scary time. My DF and I really wanted a baby, despite me not being the slightest bit maternal, but it's something we wanted..... but believe me, when I got that BFP I was like 'holy crap, what have I gotten into!'. Sure I enjoyed most of my pregnancy and was over the moon but I found it hard to get excited or happy until I'd gotten past the 12wk mark. Mainly cause I didn't want to get my hopes up. I guess that was just my bodies way of protecting me from getting too attached to something that wasn't yet a certainty. Now I have my daughter, I wouldn't change things for the world. She is the most amazing and precious wee thing, she is my best friend yet only 5 and 1/2 months old. I was quite slim etc before I got pregnant and I was worried about how I'd look after having a baby, but just cause you aare going to have a kid, doesn't mean you have to stop taking care of yourself and 'let yourself go' as some women do. I put on 25kg when I was pregnant and thought 'oh god, I'm guna be huge forever' but since having Isla, I have actually managed to lose 27.5kg! I love my legs now, they are the most toned the've ever been, and that's not cause of hard work, it's just from lugging round a huge baby lol. Sure, I've still got a bit of a saggy tummy after having a C-sec but with a bit of work, I will get my flat belly back. So don't worry, you're body will bounce back no probs. I just wanted to share with you too...... a women from my work actually got pregnant not long before I did. She had been told that she would have trouble conceiving so threw caution to the wind and stopped using contraception, despite the fact she was only in a casual relationship. She was also 38 when she fell pregnant so she too thought her chances of conceiving were slim. Well she got pregnant, freaked out and went on a bit of a bender. Basically felt the same way you do, although she drank a lot, hoping it would make her misscarry. She then decided to book a termination but when she went to the appointment, decided she couldn't go through with it, thinking 'what if this is my only chance to have a baby and I look back and regret it' so decided to keep it. Sadly, she found out at the 12wk scan that the baby hadn't made it. That was about 1yr ago and she is still beating herself up about it, I don't think she will be the same again. So although it is healthy to worry (I think it makes you a better mother if you worry if things are going to work out, nobody is perfect afterall), I do agree that you just need to take a breather and relax a bit and just see what happens. Hopefully it all goes well and you have your bubba. You will look back on all this and think 'how could I have ever doubted myself' cause motherhood truly is the most amazing and rewarding thing you will ever experience. Lots of to you, good luck, and apologies for my novel  -------------  
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Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 06 August 2010 at 5:12pm
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Congrats on your pregnancy YL
I can understand the whole freaking out thing, when I got pregnant with my daughter I was 19 and tho I knew I wanted to keep her , I was scared sh*teless , at the thought of being responsible at such a young age for someone else ,and the thought of giving birth . 8 years later, and I can tell you , parenting is half intuition ,and half learning as you go . Our son was planned, but even so getting that BFP scared the crap out of me , it had been 8 years since I had had a newborn , but , it all came flooding back . And now, im 12 weeks pregnant again , and tho it was planned , I do have moments when I think "how the hell am I gonna do this "? but somehow you just do , you learn and you make some mistakes and you adapt . Try not to worry too much atm about giving birth or getting bigger, yes, you will get bigger, thats pretty much a given , but with a healthy diet and gentle exercise , there wont be any reason why you can't lose the weight after giving birth . And as for giving birth , worry about that when the time comes closer , then do all the reading and research that you can . At the moment just concentrate on keeping yourself healthy ------------- 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: yogalindy
Date Posted: 07 August 2010 at 7:59am
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Hey girls you brought a little tear to my eye as what I have been reading was from a viewpoint of understanding and support, you know it makes a difference i know my negativity is my fear coming out and all I need to do is talk and each day currenly is getting a little better.
I still panic first thing in the morning as soon as I get up, also I do have a question - I had a major sweat on last night in bed - have any of you had that around 5 weeks? besides that I have had a good day - actually not feeling preganat - is that a good sign - physically? would love to know any of your experiences. What haven't mentioned is that my husband is based about 200 miles away working whilst I stay at home with my parents as we have just arrived from NZ and trying to base ourselves back here thing is he got a job miles away and he is not liking it too much...but I think the distance is having an effect on me - it is only short term though. Anyway thankyou and I want you to know your words do have an effect on me. 
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Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 07 August 2010 at 9:59am
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That must be hard , having your husband being so far from you , especially when you need him physically and emotionally , you'll have to plan something romantic for when he returns
I can't remember how sweaty I got , but I know my body temperature was a lot higher than normal in the first few weeks, and as for sometimes not feeling pregnant , yup , completely normal , at 5 weeks you usually don't get morning sickness just yet , tho some unlucky people do , that usually starts around or after 6 weeks , and all the other symptoms start round then too, don't worry , I didn't feel pregnant with this baby until about 8 or 9 weeks
Each morning when you wake up and it all seems overwhelming , just think to yourself , im just going to get through THIS day , I will worry about tomorrow , tomorrow -------------
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Richie
Date Posted: 07 August 2010 at 12:21pm
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I didn't 'feel pregnant' until I was about 6-7wks. I found out I was pregnant at 4wks but had no symptoms whatsoever. But like Kelly said, I was a bit warmer than normal during the first wee while too. -------------
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