DH and MW visits....
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Category: Pregnant
Forum Name: Pregnancy
Forum Description: Pregnant! Wanting to chat to other mums-to-be (or dads-to-be)? Share your thoughts, experiences, and ideas... This is that place!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=3569
Printed Date: 01 September 2025 at 8:53pm
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Topic: DH and MW visits....
Posted By: herewego...
Subject: DH and MW visits....
Date Posted: 24 August 2006 at 11:41am
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My MW works part time hours, so most of my appts have been during the middle of weekdays, but DH works in a different town, so its been hard for him to come along to them. I know that he really wants to come, cos he's so excited about this baby and he wants to be involved with everything. Its lovely, and I feel kind of sad that he's been missing out on the appts (even though not much happens at them anyway - I mean how exciting will it be for him to sit around while I get blood pressure take, pee on a stick, answer general health questions, and get my tummy poked etc...but I know he wants to hear babys heart beat! So this week, I'd tee'd up for him to come to an appt this morning. I got the midwife to schedule the appt for earlier than is norammly convenient for her, and asked DH to go late to work, so that he could come to this appt. But just before we were about to leave, the MW called to cancel the appt cos one of her ladies went into labour! (I guess thats the nature of being a midwife eh?) Bugger...so DH was late for work for no reason, and we have to reschedule the appt for another day anyway! Okay, so after that long ramble, my question is this: do you feel that its important for your partner to be included in the MW appts, or is it not so necessary? (hes come to all the scans, and will be coming to the antenatal classes...) ------------- DS#1 - Hamish 24/11/2006 http://lilypie.com"> 
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Replies:
Posted By: emeldee
Date Posted: 24 August 2006 at 11:53am
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It's not so necessary. Mine came to two at the very end of my last pregnancy when I couldn't drive myself anymore. That was mainly so that he could meet my MW before I was in labour and finalise contact arrangements. He agreed that the blood pressure, pee on a stick and doppler was only so exciting....
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Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 24 August 2006 at 11:58am
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I'm happy to have the appointments for just me - except hubby met our midwife at the 12-week appointment, so that he could hear baby's heartbeat and meet her, and she's asked that he's at the next appointment for a tour of the hospital. I think it helps meeting them before the birth (and going to antenatal classes), but I haven't felt like he'd need to be at each appointment. ------------- Andie |
Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 24 August 2006 at 11:59am
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I think my hubby only managed to come twice to MW appt(he is always on the road) but I didnt feel that he needed to be there. However he managed to come to most scans (I had many), as they were more exciting!
------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 24 August 2006 at 12:16pm
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Hubby came to most of my appointments when pregnant with Andrew as I didn't have my licence then. He hasn't been to any of these ones yet. He already knows the MW as same on a with Andrew so he will only come along to the scan and maybe the odd appointment later on when I cant drive. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 24 August 2006 at 12:23pm
Like yours, my DH is keen to be involved. He has been able to attend most of our appts cos our midwife lives up our street so comes here on her way home to see us, and usually DH gets here about the same time she does! But as of last week we have had to get a new midwife as ours has a new job, he hasnt met her yet, and wont make it to out next appt next week, then she is on holiday for 2 weeks, so if we have bubs early he might not get to meet her before hand, and we might even end up with a 3rd different midwife 
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Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 24 August 2006 at 12:53pm
| My hubby came to them all but in a way I felt it was a waste of time for him because half the time I was in and out within 15/30 minutes so it was a lot of effort and hassle for him to get there to watch me get blood pressure done etc and hear about normal and abnormal pains and discharge etc.... still he wanted to be there so that was nice |
Posted By: EthansMummy
Date Posted: 24 August 2006 at 1:00pm
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My DH has only been to 2 of our midwife appointments. One when i was sick and i needed him to be there with me and the other was when we went to visit the birthing unit.
I think if your hubby is like mine he doesn't really want to sit there and listen to all the "girly" things that are talked about. I think it is important for your partner to meet your midwife before you give birth but other than that i don't really think they need to be there, unless the want to of course. ------------- ** MUM TO ** Ethan 29/08/2006 Brooke 22/09/2008 |
Posted By: shelleybean
Date Posted: 24 August 2006 at 1:03pm
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Im sorry ladies but I disagree - I think our husbands should be there - it's such an amazing experience and why should they miss out. Our appointments are always at 5pm on a Thursday, we both work and our m/w likes to work around us.
And let's face it - our husbands will be working with the mid wife on the actual birth day - so it's great that they have a bond there aswell.  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Millie1976
Date Posted: 24 August 2006 at 1:07pm
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My hubby has come only once so far and that was at my first appointment at 8 weeks. He is going to be coming from now onwards (have fortnightly appointment today) until the end of my pregnancy so that we can discuss our birth plan etc etc and everything else. I didn't feel it was necessary for him to come at the early stages but definitely want him to come along now. ------------- Sebastien 2 years old Olivier 3 3/4 years old |
Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 24 August 2006 at 1:23pm
My DH stopped coming to the visits coz of work and it wasnt a biggie 
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Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 24 August 2006 at 1:55pm
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My DH came to all but one of the scans (we had four), and probably to about 60% of the appointments, some of which he couldn't make due to work committments - although he was eager to be involved and meet my m/w of course. ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater 
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: 11111
Date Posted: 24 August 2006 at 2:04pm
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My DH was at every one of Alan's appt's cause to start with they were at the hospital and cause I can't drive he had to take me . when we shifted to NP our m/w came on a monday which happened to be hubby's day off. He was a little disapointed that he could not be at the appt's for Michael cause he chaged job's. I don't think it is too impotant for them to be at all of them and to honest I enjoyed not having hubby there all the time this time cause hten I got to talk about him it was good. I do think hubby should meet the m/w before the birth tho. ------------- Deborah Mum to:   
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 24 August 2006 at 7:02pm
| DH has already decided when I'm preggers that he is going to every single appointment with me, it's one thing that he is very determind and set in his ways about. |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 24 August 2006 at 7:42pm
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My DH finds all the blood pressure etc stuff kinda boring after a couple of times, generally it's nice for him to come along for the "first heartbeat listen" and after that, I am quite happy to go on my own. Although I do like him to come along towards the end, especially when there are talks about birth plans and stuff, and it makes me feel more comfortable when I know they've met a couple of times, like it will make it easier for them to work together on the day.
In saying all of that, we're up to round 3 and he probably came to 30% of the appointments the first time around. (About 50% of the ones he could get to.)-------------  |
Posted By: katie1
Date Posted: 24 August 2006 at 8:37pm
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Mine has been coming to them and it has been nice but I don't think it is necessary. There is a really good reason why your husband can't go to yours and I think it is really great that you know he would come if he could. The most important thing is that you know you have his support. Going to the antenatal classes together is much more beneficial. I wouldn't worry any more about it.
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 24 August 2006 at 8:40pm
| when i was in Japan, preggers with Jake, Lewis wasn't allowed in with me...apparently his presence and men in general, might disturb the women there (given that all are pregnant, i;d say most were more than comfortable with the Male presence...but anyway), so he missed out. Although it wasn't such a big deal, i felt that it didn't allow him to bond with bubs while I was pregnant - don't get me wrong, once baby was born he was number one dad, but he once told me - at eight months preggers - that he couldn't believe I was having a baby, and thought sometimes i might have been faking it - and just retaining water. |
Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 25 August 2006 at 10:04am
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Mine has missed only one appointment and that was becuase he absolutely could not get out of work. I've always given him the option but he insists on being there. Even if it's boring bit it's really allowed him to be part of the process as much as he can be.
I must admit, even on routine appointments it has been great to have him there! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 25 August 2006 at 10:27am
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Well Willie is such a shining example - my midwife looked after me with Maya from the day I found out I was preg until she was six weeks old, and since I have been 6 weeks pregnant with the twins, and Willie has still never even met her!
They did speak once - when I was in labour having Maya and she rang him at 2am to tell him he should have been there and that he was slack... Oh but he came to a scan for the first time a few weeks ago. And went to sleep half way thru... ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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