Anxiety / PND
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Topic: Anxiety / PND
Posted By: jax
Subject: Anxiety / PND
Date Posted: 27 August 2006 at 2:34pm
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Well, I wasn't really sure how to get this thread started, or if I even should... but figured that if I didn't do it now I never would, and at least starting by getting it out in the open was something. And what better place to talk about it than here?
Anyway, I've come to realise that I need to take a second look at the anxiety symptoms I have been experiencing lately... and have also realised (with difficulty) that it borders on mild PND. For a while it had started to become quite bad, and I did go see my GP about it (the one I used to go to when I was living on the other side of Auckland), but I was hesitant about taking what she prescribed me because of potential side effects. I also started to take Vitamin B and St Johns Wort as I wanted to figure out if I could get by on those instead, and they helped significantly, but things are starting to creep up on me again and ultimately I want to knock it on the head so I can get on with enjoying life. It's generally physical stuff like some loss of appetite, mild nausea, 'tinglyness' and muscle tension, feeling a bit jittery etc, with the occasional tension headache. It comes and goes, but again has started 'coming' more often than I would like. I have my six week check up for myself on Tuesday along with Erin's jabs, and I'm going to have another discussion with the doc (it will be a different one though, more local, but thats OK) and see if we can come to a short term solution for treatment. Fortunately I do have a lot of support that I can call on as well, as having company and someone to talk to when I need it has really become key in me trying to help myself to feel better. My mum has been fantastic, she is quitting her part time office job soon (although not on account of me) and will just be living off part time teaching (English as a second language)... but have more free time to come over and help with things. And of course there's Roland, who I *would* go a bit crazy without ! Last but not least, there are you ladies... who I am eternally grateful for 
So... sorry about the rambliness... but like I said, I figured getting this out there is a start to "mending" things, and if anyone else is maybe feeling like this - we can use this thread as a means of support etc. ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater 
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Replies:
Posted By: Kazzle
Date Posted: 27 August 2006 at 2:41pm
*Big hugs Jax* 
Even though i dont know what you are going through, just know i am always there if you need a shoulder to cry on, or someone to talk too. As i said to you early i am pleased you are going to talk to the doctor as the quicker it is dealt with the easier it is. Lots of love ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Jay_R
Date Posted: 27 August 2006 at 3:21pm
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Hey Jax, really sorry to hear you are going through that. I've been very lucky as I've had only one or two moments of feeling down - I've suffered from depression for a lot of my life but with the help of counselling and a very supportive partner have managed to beat it. I was very scared that it would come back in full force after baby, but crossed fingers it's not. There is a wonderful support network that your GP can refer you too called Maternal Mental Health. I was referred to them during pregnancy as a kind of safetynet but have been 'discharged' from them as I did not need them. Ask your GP to refer you, as they are fantastic. Take care chick, and if you need to chat then PM me
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Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 27 August 2006 at 3:36pm
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Jax, well done on realising... and seeking help - while i'd like to say that is the hardest part - it isn't it's the dealing day to day with everything. I took a long time to realise it.. it took my sister to tell me i had it after completely freaking out and ending up sobbing when i went to stay at my sisters house when Paris was 3 months old. I would go up town and even in the middle of town i would just get waves of nausea, heart would thump, i'd get dizzy and it was so scary.. I would describe it as looking though a foggy window.. and at my worst i wasn't physically capable of showing emotion.. i lived in fear of someone finally realising just how bad a mother i was. I then began starting to get the anxiety when mike wasn't home - i would have to ring him when i felt like it in case something happened - if i didn't ring him back within 10 minutes when they usually had passed he would get worried as hell. I also got crippling stomach pains nausea and loss of appetite... and ended up being investigated for all sorts of medical stuff which they found nothing...and made me feel like i really was going nuts.
Good on you for starting this post, they pop up from time to time and even though it's not nice.. you'll find that there are alot of us that have gone through the same, and still deal with the little remainders each day. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja 
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Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 27 August 2006 at 3:42pm
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Big hugs to you sweetie. I'm really glad that you are seeking help. I'm presuming you will be seeing either Angela or Monique and you can rest assure that you will be in good hands with them and they won't put you on anything you don't need.
And don't forget if you need me or just want to hang out or whatever...don't hesitate to call me! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 27 August 2006 at 3:43pm
I'm just a phone call away anytime, Jax! 
I'm proud of you for looking into what you are feeling and not trying to go it alone! ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: AlyAyde
Date Posted: 27 August 2006 at 4:29pm
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Hey Jax, Just wanted to send you some big Hugs . ------------- Jayde 25/12/04 Alyssa 08/04/03 http://Alyayde.bebo.com |
Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 27 August 2006 at 4:46pm
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Kaz - thanks hun, I really appreciate it ! And you're right, the sooner I sort things out the better. I was dragging my feet a little I guess, but can't afford to do that all the time !
Clare - thanks for the reminder about Maternal Mental Health, I think my mum mentioned something about them once, and I will bring it up on Tuesday when I see the GP for my six week check. Janine - I've been down the anxiety / depression road before, so I'm reasonably aware of what the signs are... mind you, even with this it *is* still a little difficult to ask for help ! But like I said to Kaz, I can't really afford to keep dragging my feet - I just want things to be calm and normal ALL the time instead of just part of the time. Gen - Yep, I will be seeing Angela, and am going to finally properly register myself as well as Erin... since it would be too much of a PITA to go all the way over the bridge to Mission Bay to see my old doc (as much as I love her!). I'm looking forward to seeing you on Wednesday too, but wouldn't mind hanging out more often if you think you could manage it LOL I find that just having company is a huge help. Becca - I will try to remember to ring you sometime this week, since I reckon I owe you a call from when I was in hospital and you left that lovely message of support for me on my voicemail, can't quite remember how I managed to miss your call, as it would have been really good to chat. Mind you, it's handy having MSN as well
Maria - thanks for the hugs, I appreciate it heaps too !! Anyway... overall, had a bit of a yucky morning, just feeling a bit weary and tense, kinda nauseous when I woke up. Plus Erin has been a bit grizzly and even though I know she is fine, that made me feel a bit more tired etc... She's gone down well now, even though her afternoon feed was a bit early, and I am actually feeling really good just at this very moment - so hoping that continues. I guess sometimes I worry that I'm projecting my anxiety / tension onto her unintentionally or something, even though I try my best not to - I worry again that maybe when she *is* unsettled (despite being a super cruisy baby the majority of the time) that she's picking up on my feelings. Neurotic eh? Or maybe not, but this kind of thing is exactly why I want to get things sorted ASAP. ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: Peace
Date Posted: 27 August 2006 at 7:03pm
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Good on you for identifying that you need help and are seeking it, just think you have probably given someone else the ability to admit there is something not quite right about they way they feel!
I myself have some anxiety attacks as my little girl has a heart murmur. What I try to remember is that I am a good mum, and a good mum worries and they do it for the rest of the childs life! There are some good ways to blow out stress that I use: Rescue Remedy - 3 drops on the tongue and chill, good for Olivia as well when she gets a bit emotional during teething. Humour - movies, radio shows, internet. A good laugh is what relieves a bit of strain. Talking - And so many of us do it, online and offline. I have a girlfriend who has a daughter similar in age to my own and we burn each others ears off on the phone. Fresh Air - Did you know that sunlight makes your brain produce serotonin which makes you happy? Admittedly I haven't been doing this one lately, but I am getting started this week, my waiste line demands action! Chocolate - Produces endorphines and makes you happy, after a heavily stressful day with a cardiologist last week I ate a big block of that lemon cheese cake stuff over a 24 hour period. Although it was VERY bad, I felt really good! I am a big supporter of people identifying that they have PND, my mum had depression relating to pregnancy for nearly 18 years before she was properly taken care of! So all these things help and you are very very brave! ------------- DD1 May 2006 DD2 March 2011 DD3 August 2012 |
Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 27 August 2006 at 7:08pm
| Sorry to hear that your going through that Jax but good on you for recognising the symptoms and not being afraid to get treatment for it. I think the biggest step in PND is having the guts to go and get help. Good on ya chick and i hope you feel better soon! |
Posted By: james
Date Posted: 27 August 2006 at 8:33pm
jax big hugs girl i have been thur deperession my self aswell as seen familiy go thur it as well the most important thing is to reach out for help and i no this donst help at the mo but you will be fine big hugs hunny ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 27 August 2006 at 8:54pm
having a hard night tonight, just spent 20 mins blubbing to my husband and still feeling so tired... it has all piled up on me a bit  hopefully it will pass tho, and we will have a good night in the end...------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: Peace
Date Posted: 27 August 2006 at 10:35pm
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Jax, I hope he's a good listener! ------------- DD1 May 2006 DD2 March 2011 DD3 August 2012 |
Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 28 August 2006 at 7:39am
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Yup, he's an awesome listener. I know it's hard for him to understand what I'm feeling because he's never had any issues with depression before, but he does a good job anyway. We had a pretty good night actually, Erin didn't wake up until 4:30am when we'd put her down just after 10pm... I think she's up now, but that's OK too ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 28 August 2006 at 9:34am
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Jax, I had PND with Andrew. I got it when he was about 5 months old when I went back to work full time. So can totally understand how you are feeling. All I wanted to do at times was just cry and be by myself, then have the big talk with people. Good to see you have that support network in place as they are the best things to have. As I went back to work, my work was the best. They gave me days off paid to spend with Andrew and DH (usually Friday so I could have a 3 day weekend) at one stage I worked 8-12 and was paid for the full 8-4 (7.5 hours) just to have that time to myself. I too was really hesitant about the prescribed stuff and stuff to the natural stuff. Took me about 5 months to get over it fully and with this one I will know what to do if it happens again. And don't listen to Tom Cruise - if you have to take the drugs you can. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: mrs frantic
Date Posted: 28 August 2006 at 9:38am
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Jax I dont know about PND but I have suffered from depression before and it's hard to realise that things are not right with yourself, esp if you are like me and have always coped really well with everything - for me I was just rationalising it away as a series of bad days... luckily my mum had suffered it before and she recognised all my symptoms and suggested to me that I might be depressed - I was really angry with her at first, to be honest I didnt really "believe" in depression, didnt grasp it as a concept (what do you mean you feel "sad" all the time?!?!?), but looking back on it now it was really obvious what was happening to everyone but me really... I was on medication for about 7 - 8 months I think and I havent had a problem since (almost 10 years ago now)...
Anyway - from my experience is can be hard to see it from the inside, but it really isnt a big deal once you realised what is is - it's just a case of treating it... I am rambling now but what I wanted to say was good on you for talkigng about it, trust your instincts and look after yourself, cos your little girl needs her mum to be happy and healthy... best of luck ------------- Mrs Frantic Baby Maddisyn born 28 Sept 2006 http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 28 August 2006 at 2:06pm
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Big hugs Jax - I won't tell you my story again coz you've already heard it and that might bore you into even worse depression...
Anyways, there's an article in this months Parenting magazine on coping when your partner is sick, and there is a whole section on helping your partner when he/she has depression. Might not help, but might give Roland some ideas. It certainly made sense to me when I read it. Good luck with the doc and Erin's jabs... -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 31 August 2006 at 7:24am
Bad bad night last night  Have been up and down with insomnia and feeling jittery and nauseous since 3:30am. Managed to feed Erin OK around 5am, and she went straight back down, and I maybe napped for half an hour... but now I'm wide awake and just trying to get through until my mum can come over around 9am this morning. This is all just so yuck *sigh* I rang the counselling people at the hospital that are handling my referral to Maternal Mental Health, and had a chat to someone for a bit... but the main team doesn't get in until later this morning either, and it could still be a while before they ring me. Oh well, what can I do? I will just have to live with it. Sorry about the big ramble folks... just another day in the life of me !------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: AlyAyde
Date Posted: 31 August 2006 at 7:49am
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Oh poor you. Yay for mums though aye. Hope the hospital team gets back to you soon. ------------- Jayde 25/12/04 Alyssa 08/04/03 http://Alyayde.bebo.com |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 31 August 2006 at 8:28am
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Hope someone can give you a call soon and mums are great arent they! ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 31 August 2006 at 9:48am
| Big hugs Jax, hope they ring you soon. Is there anything that might of set off last night? did you have a bad day or anything? Have you started taking the latest medication? sorry heaps of questions I know |
Posted By: Peace
Date Posted: 31 August 2006 at 9:55am
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Is there anything, and I mean ABSOLUTELY anything that you could possibly think of that will make you feel less anxious? I find this can help when I try to put my finger on it, it sounds silly but it's a suggestion anyhow. I hope that you feel better soon I'll be sending good vibes your way today! ------------- DD1 May 2006 DD2 March 2011 DD3 August 2012 |
Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 31 August 2006 at 3:59pm
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Robyn, that's what I'm finding frustrating - there is nothing I can find or pinpoint that might have set this off, *except* for starting the medication even though it's only been two days. As I said in the July Mummies post, both the mental health nurse I spoke to today and the nurse at the GPs office said I have to stick with the medication in order for the side effects to wear off... they will apparently diminish after a few days, and I'm stuck fighting the insomnia with sleeping tablets *sigh*
Peace - it was really hard to try and find that thing today (to make me feel better), oddly enough it was having a huge blub to mum which felt good and bad at the same time... just having her there to talk to was great, and she did a few things around the house, cuddled Erin and helped with feeding etc. I just feel like I'm letting my friends and family down somehow, as irrational as I know that kind of thought probably is. I tried to sleep this avo and couldn't ! Even took half a sleeping pill, but that didn't do much - and then I discovered the reason why was that the tablets I have now are less than half the dose I have had before ! I just want to get through this so so badly, I mean I know I will survive, but it's hard to hang on to that hope... *sigh* Sorry to bore and depress you all ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: Peace
Date Posted: 01 September 2006 at 9:05am
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We are here for you to help as well You now need to PM me your address so I can send you some "cheer" in the post!
Hope you are having a better day today! ------------- DD1 May 2006 DD2 March 2011 DD3 August 2012 |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 01 September 2006 at 11:05am
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Sending you some big hugs Jax and hoping today is a better day for you. It's the nature of the beast - some days are shockers, others not so bad, but as the meds kick in you will find that the bad days get fewer and further between. The side effects do suck, I hope the sleeping pills help the insomnia for you. I'm quite insomniac atm too so can relate to the sheer frustration of it!
------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 01 September 2006 at 4:25pm
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Hey guys, thanks so much for your well wishes and support, I was a fair bit better once DH got home and even managed to eat a reasonable amount of dinner. Got a decent sleep too and Rollie was kind enough to do the "night" feed for me, although it was 6am in reality... I didn't get out of bed until after 9am, go the sleeping tablets ! Had a reasonably good appointment with the mental health service people today, and am still just waiting to hear what kind of support they will be able to offer me... ie: counselling, home help, whatever.
Sleep sure seems to be the key though, as far as coping goes... ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 02 September 2006 at 8:43am
Well, things have changed a little... had my appointment with a doctor and a nurse from the hospital mental health service, and they changed the sleeping tablets I'm on. These got me off to sleep well enough, but I still woke up with an anxiety attack at about 6:30am this morning, and am not feeling particularly rested. Had a big blub to hubby once he got up (he'd fed Erin)... having a cup of tea now (non caffeinated), and really really hoping this goes away by the end of the day or something !!  ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: nuttymama
Date Posted: 02 September 2006 at 9:21am
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Jax,
I take medication for anxiety and I can assure you that the side effecdts will wear off usually by the second week at the latest. Don't forget most of these take around 3 to 4 weeks to have any affect on your anxiety but hang in there. I have battled severe anxiety for years and have just gone back on medication for it, as I now also suffer panic attacks which are pretty scary.Please know your not alone there are a lot of us out there. I'm not sure if it will work for you but taking big deep breaths through your nose and releasing out of your mouth has been known to help ease an attack, it sometimes works for me. Also meditation (a bit hard when you have a little one I know) Good luck and hang in there it will get better. ------------- Abigail 06/01/2005 Jayden 21/11/2001 Micheal 03/04/1997 |
Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 02 September 2006 at 9:58am
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Thanks Vick, and you're right, sometimes it does feel really scary - especially when I feel so overwhelmed and end up crying for what I see as no reason. ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 07 September 2006 at 5:40pm
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Well, I thought my PND was getting manageable (just not quite better) until Sunday.
Not last weekend, but the weekend before, things were really good... we were on top of the housework (a major trigger for me)... Kiya had a friend from school over to play, and her mum came round too and had coffee with me, which was really nice... Nat and I had pretty much decided to stay here until the end of next year and make the most of our (very!) cheap rent to pay off some debt... During the week things went downhill... I struggled to get motivated enough to do the basic things like dishes and washing... I was washing clothes and drying them on the clothes horse overnight so that Kiya's uniform and Nat's clothes were clean for school the next day... I just couldn't seem to be organised enough to have dinner ready by between 5:30pm and 6pm, even though I know Josiah (and Kiya too) needs to eat then or he becomes a screaming mess from hunger... we were washing dishes to use as none were done... Sunday, I hit bottom and I had one of the worst days I've had for awhile. Nat was away for the day, and I wanted to tidy up the house, but I just couldn't do it... I didn't know where to start, or anything. I was struggling so much to do the basic things Kiya and Josiah needed (like lunch at a reasonable time) nevermind anything else. I just didn't want to be a mum right then. When Nat got home in the late afternoon, he could see I was not in a good place. I had been asked to help put together a results brochure for the North Island Secondary Schools Skiing Competions (NISSSC) that was happening the same weekend, and I was trying to work a little on the front page of that as well. Just having him home was so good. I started coming right after that, but it wasn't until that night when I had a big cry to him and told him some of the thoughts that had been going through my head that he realised just how hard the day had been for me. On Monday, Nat had a long talk to the principal at his school, and she organised for him to have a couple of hours off Tuesday morning so he could help me start to sort out our house. He couldn't find where I'd put the number of Raewyn, the psych nurse who is heading up my support team, but he was given the number of someone in a similar position who was able to help him... she got in contact with Raewyn and also with the people who were providing home-help to me before. Tuesday, I spend most of the day at the high school doing the NISSSC brochure... while I was out, Nat did all the dishes, and prepared dinner. That was such a help, both being out of the house for the day and also what Nat did. Just having the dishes all done and dinner organised for me gave me the motivation to sort out Josiah's toys (which I should have done about a month ago) that evening. Nat and I did the dinner dishes... Wednesday, I stayed on top of the dishes and folded and put away all the clean washing that had built up on one of the couches for a week. I was invited out for coffee by a couple of mums from the area, and it was really nice to spend some time with them. I also managed to have dinner ready at 5:45pm... Today I've vacuumed the house (except our room which is the dump-the-junk space at the moment), mopped the laundry, kitchen, toilet and bathroom, and cleaned the toilet, bath and basin. The weather today has finally been fine enough that the small mountain of towels has all been washed, along with the load of clothes... now I just need to fold it. Dinner is cooking, and things are getting better. My psych nurse is away for two weeks, but her co-worker, Julie, rang. They are going to organise for home-help to start back up for me. I will be going to a regular coffee morning (with the mums I met yesterday), and Nat will not let me get that down before seeking help again. ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 07 September 2006 at 7:24pm
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Becca ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 07 September 2006 at 7:32pm
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Thanks Aimee
Dishes are done, kids are in bed (and I think they're asleep, its so quiet!) and the coffee machine is warming for the hot chocolate I think I've definitely earned today! ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: Peace
Date Posted: 07 September 2006 at 8:22pm
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That sucks that you are having a rough time, but you must be super mum to have 2 kids and be powering on at 30 weeks, I was a mess at 34 weeks and Olivia is my first! Hope it gets better hunny. Enjoy your chocolate! ------------- DD1 May 2006 DD2 March 2011 DD3 August 2012 |
Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 07 September 2006 at 8:34pm
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LOL I don't know about being super mum, but if I don't figure out a successful coping stratergy Nathaniel has threatened that this will be the last time he knocks me up! Problem with that is that we both want a couple more kids... ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: AlyAyde
Date Posted: 07 September 2006 at 8:40pm
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ohhh Becca . Its good to hear that you have such fantastic support though. You take care ------------- Jayde 25/12/04 Alyssa 08/04/03 http://Alyayde.bebo.com |
Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 07 September 2006 at 8:46pm
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Hey Becs,
Didn't quite realise you'd been having such a rough time of it as well, I wish I'd know more somehow. I think my coping strategy is to get out of the house on a regular basis, and I took my first walk with Erin on my own the other day, as well as went shopping with Paws (and Erin in tow of course) at Glenfield mall today. Still feel that general nervousness sometimes, that anxiety that seems to come out of 'nowhere', although it seems to be coming less often. I'm not holding my breath for a quick fix with my meds - but what I am annoyed about is they didn't want me to continue on the Lorazepam (a benzodiazepine) despite the acute anxiety being the cause of the really bad insomnia I had begun experiencing. They also basically told me that I should treat it with CBT and have to find a therapist for this on my own (this is the mental health services at NSH), so I'm really a bit confused. If the Lorazepam helps me sleep and keeps me a bit calmer (and yes I know it can be addictive) why not keep on with that, and give me a referral to a CBT therapist ?? How hard is that ?? My main beef, even if I come off the Lorazepam once the main anti-anxiety drug has settled (Citalopram), is the nausea and vomiting I've been experiencing in the morning... I'm pretty sure Losec would be just the thing to treat it, but I can't be bothered spending the $$ on a Dr's appt just to get a script for something I already know should help *sigh* So, despite all my lunatic rambling and raving everything is actually going along reasonably well - one day at a time etc. Erin is still doing well on 5 feeds a day, and still sleeping really well. Anyway, I guess my wish is just to feel a bit more balanced and normal again - but there is at least another week or so to wait and see how things end up (meds wise). Thanks for listening to my rant ladies...  ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 07 September 2006 at 8:58pm
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Bit hard for you to know what's going on with me if I don't turn my computer on for 2 days, Jax.
That's really stupid they won't give you a referral for a CBT! If Taihape Health Services can give me one you'd think NHS could do the same for you. Now be a good lady and go get the Losec... surely even if you have to pay for the dr, the relief the stuff will give you is worth it in the long run. ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: Peace
Date Posted: 07 September 2006 at 9:15pm
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I sent you a little something in the mail on Tuesday Jax, I hope you are not to nauseas for it! ------------- DD1 May 2006 DD2 March 2011 DD3 August 2012 |
Posted By: nuttymama
Date Posted: 08 September 2006 at 7:10am
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Jax I can understand your frustration at the mental health board. I have been on the waiting list for the anxiety disorders unit here in christchurch since January and am still waiting for an appointment.
I'm on Citalopram as well. When do you take yours, I was taking mine at night and found that okay apart from the odd panic attack during the day, but a doctor told me I should be taking it in the morning and since then I have had really bad nausea. So I'm going back to having it at night! Stay strong you'll get through this! ------------- Abigail 06/01/2005 Jayden 21/11/2001 Micheal 03/04/1997 |
Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 08 September 2006 at 7:37am
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To all of you ladies. You are such strong and wonderful mummys. I am so glad you are getting/starting to get the support you need to get through and keep going.
I wish I hadn't been to proud/stupid to battle on without any help!! LOL ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: AlyAyde
Date Posted: 08 September 2006 at 9:04am
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Hey Jax, Just a side note about losec. I did alot of research into it when Jayde was on it. one of the side effects can be insomnia. which Jayde did experience. If youve taken losec before and never had this then just disregard what i said but thought id let you know. Good luck with your meds. ------------- Jayde 25/12/04 Alyssa 08/04/03 http://Alyayde.bebo.com |
Posted By: james
Date Posted: 08 September 2006 at 1:02pm
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big hugs ladys ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 08 September 2006 at 3:08pm
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Thanks for the note about the Losec Maria, I think I was OK last time - and seem to be sleepy enough from the Lorazepam and Citalopram anyhow. Hopefully all these things will balance out over the next couple of weeks and come back to some version of normal ! Will keep y'all updated...
PS - Can't believe Erin is 8 weeks already !!!  ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 08 September 2006 at 3:16pm
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My mum battled Panic attacks her whole life and then out of the blue my cousin (ellas godmother) started getting them. They are horrible to watch. However until recently mum was having panic attacks but her SILs hubby is a hypnotist and he has helped her sooooo much!
I hope it all gets sorted for everyone soon! |
Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 08 September 2006 at 3:38pm
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I thought about doing hypnotherapy but dont think i would let myself relax enough because I hate losing control. I get panick attacks too and am majorly claustrophobic, its amazing how it can rule your life.
good luck Jax, hope the drugs do there thing for you |
Posted By: AlyAyde
Date Posted: 08 September 2006 at 3:49pm
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OMG 8 weeks. Time has flown! But i can say that seeing its not me getting up doing night feeds. Your doing a brilliant job Jax ------------- Jayde 25/12/04 Alyssa 08/04/03 http://Alyayde.bebo.com |
Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 10 September 2006 at 1:27pm
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Had an icky panic attack this morning, over a nice full cooked breakfast hubby had made ! Not over the fact that he had gone to the trouble of cooking it, but that was just the timing of the damn thing. So ended up having a bit of a lie down and a cry and then we all went on a bush walk through a nearby park - and now I feel better, but knackered ! Hope the medication hurries up and does its thing... I really really do ! The weekend has otherwise been good though, we had some rellies over yesterday and pics will be along soon. ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 11 September 2006 at 9:33am
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Just wanted to say that as soon as your pills kick in properly you will do great, my mum has a friend who has really insanely bad depression (manic depressive) and when she has really bad bouts calls mum up at ungodly hours just to chat it makes her feel better and mum doesnt mind. She has had 2 kids (who werent to most well behaved of kids) and did it alone aswell and i totally have to applaude her.
Maybe you should get out and meet new people and have someone on hand that isnt hubby that you can talk to and vent when u feel u cant with roland? It can make the world of difference. |
Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 11 September 2006 at 3:21pm
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Yeah it really is the waiting that sucks. I have to book in a follow up appointment with my doctor soon to see about maybe changing the dosage. Almost lost it again this morning when the Plunket nurse had been for her visit (nothing negative there though) and thought I'd go to Glenfield Mall to run an errand or two. So JUST as I had Erin ready one of the bloody cats brings in a bird that I have to clean up, and then Erin does a great big smelly nappy !! Am looking forward to a bit of a zzz maybe when I get home after having picked hubby up. ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 12 September 2006 at 8:19am
| Ellas been known to do that poopy nappy trick when i have her sitting in her carseat lol i see the straining face and then im like haha typical women! And have to wait lol |
Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 12 September 2006 at 4:32pm
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Slept so well last night, I almost "forgot" to get up for Erin's 6am bottle, so it was a bit delayed... didn't seem to bother her much though. Not sure how long the Losec is supposed to take to kick in as I was still queasy this morning, but not *as* queasy - oh well ! Was just finishing up Erin's 10am feed when my mum rang and said 'why don't you come visit for the day, bring Erin's bottle etc'... so I thought, why not? So we had a lovely day tootling round the posh new Newmarket shops, and I fed Erin back at mum's house. I can't explain with words enough how much I appreciate having my mum around now, for days like today (although I think she liked the company for herself too, IYKWIM), and like tomorrow - she's coming around after Erin's 10am feed, so she can babysit while I go and get my hair done ! Hopefully Erin will just sleep and not fuss much - although yes I know, she's generally a cruisy baby.
Right, end of ramble ! ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 12 September 2006 at 4:46pm
| Your so lucky i have noone to take Ella off my hands when i need it. |
Posted By: james
Date Posted: 12 September 2006 at 6:57pm
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sounds like a great day jax i,m pretty lucky that i have great friends and fam who will take james every now and then and i,m with you on great mums i dont no if i could do this without my mum ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 12 September 2006 at 8:01pm
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Well, Erin was with us, but the company and the sunshine made life seem a lot more bearable that's for sure ! ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 21 September 2006 at 8:58am
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Had a really rough night last night, had a panic attack out of the blue, luckily Roland was around and my mum came over to keep me sane - eventually got through that and got to bed for some sleep, but still feeling pretty tired and fragile today. Bring on the weekend.... ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 21 September 2006 at 9:27am
| how you doing now Jax? |
Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 21 September 2006 at 7:55pm
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Better ! Still tired though, the big ones (panic attacks) really take the energy out of you. My lifesaver was Paws coming over to keep me company (bump and all), and we went for a walk with Erin in the pram, and then we just watched trashy talk show TV while Erin slept... then had her 2pm feed, and I even got a nap after that ! (after Gen had gone home) So yeah, hubby is working from home tomorrow, and has volunteered to do the 6am feed - yahoo ! I also have a counselling appointment on Monday, figured I'd better get that side of things started too. ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: james
Date Posted: 21 September 2006 at 8:11pm
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big hugs jax i,m so glad to hear you have great surport around you i remeber when my little bro was having p/attacks it was so scary for him and it was so good that he thought the best thing was the surport we gave him again big hugs hunny ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 23 September 2006 at 2:51pm
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Whew. This is getting hard. Having another one today, and again luckily had both mum and Roland around. Going to have a rest now to see if I can kill this one off. ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: james
Date Posted: 23 September 2006 at 3:54pm
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aww hunny big hugs relly hoping it calmed down now ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 25 September 2006 at 3:18pm
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Well, I've taken another step forward and am going to see a counsellor on a regular basis - when I've had anxiety issues before I went to see someone and found it helped, so at the moment it's once a week, and I quite like the lady... so here's hoping we make some progress ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: james
Date Posted: 25 September 2006 at 9:46pm
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yay jaxs i relly hope it helps hunny big hugs ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 07 November 2006 at 9:12am
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*BUMP*
Just thought I would update this, as over the last few days I have been on a bit of a rollercoaster ride ! Had some bad wine on Friday night, because although it says "limit alcohol" with the medication I'm on, my Dr said one or two small glasses would be OK - so that's all I had. Woke up Saturday morning feeling absolutely *hideous* and had a bit of a panic attack, fortunately DH was home and able to help out. We went for a huge walk that afternoon, which really seemed to help get the excess adrenalin out of my system, and I seemed to get through Sunday OK, although still feeling a bit off. Yesterday however, was a bit of a different story. Got up quite early because I couldn't sleep (woke at 5am, got out of bed around 6:20am), and was at the computer for a bit, then got Erin up for her morning feed just before 7am. DH left for work around 8am, I put Erin down for a sleep, and then things started to fall apart - I had the overwhelming urge to cry for virtually no reason. Tried fighting it, but I don't think it helped much doing that, as I ended up breaking down anyway. Was lucky enough that my counsellor was available on the phone and one of her clients had just canceled as I called, so she talked to me for a little while. My real life saver though was Gen  (Our wonderful Paws) who came over when I didn't txt her back (although was just on the phone) to make sure I was OK and to bring some tissues as I had run out ! It seemed to break me out of the "hole" I was in, so I could make it through the rest of the day.
I also had some other wonderful friends online who talked to me through that morning, which was a wonderful help - so a huge thanks and lots of hugs to Becca, Sara, and Robyn ! Saw Toni & Caitlin that afternoon as well as we were due for a playdate, and I think it did a lot of good to get out of the house for a bit. This morning I'm feeling a wee bit better, although not 100%, so am thinking I might still need to make an appointment to see my GP and talk about maybe readjusting my meds. I have my next counselling appointment (when my mum will come and babysit) on Thursday, am really looking forward to it ! So that's where things are at the moment, am doing a bit of research into anxiety disorder and such as well, to see if it can help me get a handle on things. ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: Peace
Date Posted: 07 November 2006 at 9:21am
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Soldiering on and being honest about our feelings are the best thing bug cuddles honey, things are always on the up and up! ------------- DD1 May 2006 DD2 March 2011 DD3 August 2012 |
Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 07 November 2006 at 11:06am
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------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 08 November 2006 at 9:31am
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So as I mentioned before, and some of you will already know this, I've made an appointment with my GP for this morning at 11:15am, which gives me enough time to sort Erin out and not arrive late. Have been doing some more reading and research as well, which has been really really interesting in terms of finding out what is actually *physically* happening. Will let you all know what the outcome of my visit is when I get home later on. ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 08 November 2006 at 9:57am
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Good luck for your appt Jax,..hope it goes well
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Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 08 November 2006 at 12:45pm
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Righto ! Went to my GP appointment, and it was great ! She was actually quite pleased with all the research I had done to try and help myself understand what was going on, and even agreed on the "plan" that I had as far as what had triggered things, what the illness actually is, and what medications that might need to be changed. I almost feel better already, it is so empowering once you can give a bit of definition to these things, and understand how they work. So if you want to get technical / formal about it, I have a panic disorder, which is a type of anxiety disorder - and I'm being treated (currently) with two types of anti-depressant, but will switch from two to one, and then bring in what's called a benzodiazepine - which is basically to help me chill out.
Like I said before, what a relief ! ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: james
Date Posted: 08 November 2006 at 1:38pm
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big hugs hunn glad you are starting to feel in control again ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 09 November 2006 at 8:22am
| Glad to hear things are starting to get better chicka! My mum suffers from anxiety attacks and they are horrible so i def feel for you! |