13mo hair pulling & tantrums
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Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: Toddler Times
Forum Description: Is bubs growing up and getting into everything? How do you train them to use the potty? When do you start feeding solids? Share your tips and advice here!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36082
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Topic: 13mo hair pulling & tantrums
Posted By: MummaHuhu
Subject: 13mo hair pulling & tantrums
Date Posted: 04 October 2010 at 8:55pm
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eek, my 13mo has started pulling other kids hair! It happens when they get in her 'space' or try to play with a toy she's playing with. At the moment, I've just been saying, no that's not nice, you'll make so and so sad and moving her away from the child - is this the best approach to take?
Also, tantys and clingyness - she's also been having tanty's at seemingly nothing.... she'll grizzle to be picked up, sit happily in my lap for awhile and then have a tanty at nothing (she's free to go I don't hold her so she can't get down). Is this just a stage they go through? And how do you deal with tantys at say nappy change time (something that needs to be done). Distraction doesn't always work here, or it only works for a very short while - not the whole nappy change! Any insights would be helpful  -------------   http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/MummaHuhu" rel="nofollow - Come on Huhu#3 ...~Chem Apr 13~ |
Replies:
Posted By: mollycat
Date Posted: 05 October 2010 at 11:46am
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Oh the tantys at change time - sheesh. We were on such a roll until about 2 weeks ago when DS started throwing HUGE tantrums while getting changed. If nothing else works you can use your feet to hold his arms down (right foot on left upper arm, left foot on right upper arm) so they can't twist and get free. Yes - not the most ideal situation but sometimes nothing seems to calm the tantrum so figure better to get it over with as fast as possible!
I think it is just a stage but we are going through the same thing so can't tell you how long it lasts.... ------------- http://tickers.cafemom.com"> 
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 05 October 2010 at 10:22pm
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My 13 month old is a major tanty thrower! She throws herself on the ground and thumps her hands and feet on the ground and screams.
She gets grumpy at the silliest things too! She is TERRIBLE at nappy change time, screams and twists and hits me hits herself, its a nightmare. I just try distract her, and if all else fails she gets pinned down like mollycat said! |
Posted By: Rainbow
Date Posted: 06 October 2010 at 12:38pm
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Same here sometimes with nappy changes so I have some pull up nappy pants for when my DS is going through a tantrum at nappy time phase!
All normal I would think so it is just about riding it out and keeping as sane as you can til they are old enough to reason with a bit more. Don't worry that your child is the only one -I got so upset at times because all the other coffee group babies seemed so well behaved....then I saw a few throw a tanty and i felt so reassured that it wasn't just me with a monster on my hands! Distraction and leaving them to throw their tantrum works well here - and I walk away at times so he doesn't have an audience...he soon gives up! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Delli
Date Posted: 07 October 2010 at 8:47pm
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Jude went through a stage of hating nappy changes as well - until he learnt the signs for "change" and "nappy", now he is SO good. If he wriggles, tries to get away or cries, I tell him we aren't finished changing his nappy yet (with the signs) and he usually lies quietly until I tell him we are all finished (he does the sign for "finished" as well). He has also taken to sometimes telling us (signing) when he needs a change. Sometimes he farts and does the change sign - lol.
With hair pulling or smacking we tend to simplify things. We say "No Jude. Gentle." (and have shown him how to pat gently rather than smack). Rather than trying to explain to him that its not nice, you'll make them sad etc - I think that concept is a bit complicated for them for the moment? ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: monikah
Date Posted: 07 October 2010 at 9:39pm
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Oh man you poor thing. we still havent hit tantys yet but when mack looks like he is gonna amp up for one or touch something he cant have he gets a very stern sounding no. sometimes the lip quivers and he looks upset but i just leave it as is and he ends up being fine. if we say no and he moves away strait away (which he normally does) we tell him in a very happy voice 'well done for listening' i dont know if it will work with a child throwing tantrums but might be worth a shot? sorry cant be more helpful :S ------------- 
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Posted By: MummaHuhu
Date Posted: 07 October 2010 at 9:50pm
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Thanks for all the replies - most of these we have tried!
Except for the nappy signs - could be useful, although the only sign she's picked up so far is milk and no, lol. We've always told her to be gentle from a very young age as she loves to pull the cats fur! Thankfully she's grown out of that now so hopefully she'll grow out of the hair pulling soon. ------------- http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/MummaHuhu" rel="nofollow - Come on Huhu#3 ...~Chem Apr 13~ |
Posted By: kathamill
Date Posted: 29 October 2010 at 9:29am
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from reading a bit more into your OP, it seems like the hair pulling is a readtion to other children trying to take things off her etc. So her hair pulling will be her way of saying that she doesn't want them there.
What you need to do is empower her to do the 'right' thing. So when a child tries to take something off and she pulls hair, by all means say something along the lines of "we use gentle hands(or similar)" BUT ALSO say, "if you want them to stop, you say "STOP"" with an accompanying hand motion. this way, you are showing her what the appropriate way of dealing with a situation by herself. I have done this with my DD since she was about 10mnths. I never expected her to do it straight away, but I knew that by repetition she would pick it up. And from about 14mnths, she did say "stop" with the hand motion. Also, do it with her, ie when she is doing something you don't want her to do, use the "stop" with motion. That way it reinforces that it is the appropriate way of dealing with things she doesn't like. HTH |