How did you know you were ready?
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Forum Name: General Chat
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Topic: How did you know you were ready?
Posted By: Mum_mum
Subject: How did you know you were ready?
Date Posted: 12 October 2010 at 7:49am
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So I know we want more than one child - I always thought that I wanted 3 and DH says 2 if we get a boy next. But how did you know you were ready for another child?
At the moment Im pretty sure I'm NOT ready, the thought of more sleepless nights scares me, of looking after two kids (how are you meant to get tea ready!) and when I get really tired I start stressing myself out and get a bit anxious and nauseous. I don't want too bigger age gap but just don't think I could cope with another right now! So yeah, I know Im not ready but did others just get this sudden feeling of knowing it was the right time to have another? ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
 Angel baby - May 2008
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Replies:
Posted By: MuppetsMama
Date Posted: 12 October 2010 at 8:44am
I think you just know - you start noticing all the newborns when you are out and about and instead of shuddering and being glad you are past that stage, you think "aaawww how lovely, a newborn, now that would be nice....." LOL 
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 12 October 2010 at 10:12am
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What she said I think!
DP wants 2, I want 2-4 lmao! Anyway he wanted to wait quite a few years but we went away recently and he got talking to his family members who were asking about more kids and now he wants to try end of next year for #2. I have mixed feelings of being ready for another, and tbh I could do it but dp wants to wait so yeah, probably doesn't help you sorry! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: EmDee
Date Posted: 12 October 2010 at 10:39am
Eep, if that's the case I must be ready for another now  
For me, I guess I just felt ready and the worry about how I would cope etc was out weighed by the desire to add to our family. I guess I'm saying, you'll know when you are ready - sorry I know that isn't actually much help! ------------- DS 8 DD 6 DS 4 DD 2 |
MuppetsMama wrote:Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 12 October 2010 at 11:13am
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Hmmm well I totally wasnt ready for another one when i fell pregnant with Isabella, Caden was only just over 5 months when I got pregnant.
I didnt really freak out though...just kinda took it in my stride, and it wasnt until just before she was born I thought FARK, Im going to have two soon and 14 months apart! Then I started getting panicy and anxious, but after she was born things just kinda fell into place. Getting dinner ready is a challenge some nights, especially now that they are both toddlers  but I manage!  Some nights its a quick meal, some nights I manage a full on roast etc, each day is different and has its own challenges!
Anyways, you will just know when your ready and even if it happens when your not quite ready, you'll be fine 
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Posted By: _SMS_
Date Posted: 12 October 2010 at 11:13am
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I agree with others. I was exactly like you are, then one day i got really clucky and BAM now i want another one lol. Ive wanted another one for about a year now. Taylah definitely wasnt sleeping through when we started trying.
Remember you are pregnant for 9 months, thats a long time for you child to go through so many changes. Well thats they way im looking at it lol. Taylah will be a little angel when i finally have another one hehehe -------------  
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Posted By: lisa85
Date Posted: 12 October 2010 at 11:33am
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I think 3 was always the magic number for me. We have the twins who are 2 and a half now and about 6 months ago (I know this will sound cheesy) everything just felt right. We had been talking about a third since the girls were about 6 months old but the timing just never felt right. I think it's true that there's never really a right time to have a baby. You just know in your gut when your ready to go through pregnancy and those awful early sleepless stressful months of the newborn stage lol. For me I was having a shocking day with the girls. They were going through the terrible twos times two and nothing was going right but at the end of the day I sat down and thought bring it on I could handle more. Because when you already have one or more (espcially toddlers lol) I think the big question you have to ask yourself is when your having a especially bad day could you handle a lack of sleep and a screaming newborn on top of that?
Plus I figure even if I were to get pregnant right this second the timing with the twins couldn't be better. They will be just young enough for there not to be too big of an age gap but they will be toilet trained, speaking whole sentances, they will want to be envolved and have a better understanding of whats going on. Plus they will be 3 years old meaning they will get 20 hours a week free at daycare! -------------  
TTC #3 since Jan 2010 - PCOS MC April 2010 |
Posted By: weeheebaby
Date Posted: 12 October 2010 at 3:32pm
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i don't think i would have ever been ready. I had a MC of a planned baby that knocked me for 6 so i wanted to wait a bit longer before trying again, so our gap of nearly three years is a little longer than originally anticipated.
as for coping - I'm hoping that we will just muddle on through some how ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: ooEvaoo
Date Posted: 13 October 2010 at 11:51am
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I always wonder that, I go through phases of really wanting a baby and then it subsides...been happening for the past 3 years lol. Then I wonder how can I love another little being....beings the same way I do my son. Like all my love is reserved for him. ------------- 
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Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 13 October 2010 at 12:48pm
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I wasn't totally ready but got ready pretty fast when the suprise BFP came up lol I think although a larger gap would've suited ME better, I"m older so knew I didn't have the luxury of lots of time....so we didn't try, didn't prevent IYKWIM? I also had a feeling inside that our family wasn't complete. Hard to explain but I just knew there was at least one more bubs to join us. -------------   http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: Kalimirella
Date Posted: 13 October 2010 at 12:50pm
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I've just always known, after current bubs came out that I def wanted another one. I feel I would cope and if I got preg I would HAVE to cope. I want another one now but DP wants to wait :( ------------- Kiara is 3 and Teagan is 2, now we're expecting our long awaited 3rd! http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: rachelsea
Date Posted: 13 October 2010 at 5:45pm
I'm the same as lots of others, knew I wanted another one but didn't know when. I would look at Chelsea and knew our family wasn't complete yet, but I also loved it just being us so I still wasn't totally ready when we started trying, but DH was and I figured that once I did get pregnant (assuming it would take a while like with DD) there would still be 9months till the baby was born. Of course it didn't take anywhere near as long to get pregnant this time lol, but I'm still excited and can't wait for a new little bubba to join our family  ------------- DD 4yrs DS 2yrs http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 13 October 2010 at 6:17pm
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I've always been ready before DH, even now I'm just waiting for him to say the word. The older DD got the more worried I was about the age gap there would be between children. I never would have chose a 3+ years age gap but I love it. -------------  
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Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 13 October 2010 at 7:43pm
| Ditto what MrsMojo said! Im ready for #3 now, but wasnt for a very long time after #1. I was worried about the age gap as #1 got older, mostly cos all my friends here had 2 under 2yrs, and I had always planned to have not more than 2 yrs between kids,...but the 3.3yr gap has worked out pretty well for us. |
Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 13 October 2010 at 8:14pm
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It's a great age gap isn't it Kellz, especially when number 1 is a girl (although mine is a neurotic little mummy to her brother). -------------
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Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 13 October 2010 at 8:27pm
Lol mine is too! I am 3.3yrs older than my little bro, and my Mum said she was always saying "leave your brother alone",...now history repeats!!
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Posted By: Nikki
Date Posted: 13 October 2010 at 9:11pm
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I was definitley not ready when DS turned one, no way I could even think about it, and I hadn't been back at work long, didn't quite have my figure back, and hadn't stopped BFing long before that so I was only just starting feel half normal ....... by the time he turned 15 months I was ready, DH said OK, we knew that would be a 2 year gap (the smallest we wanted) so we tried and got ph that month, so have 2yrs 5 days between our kids! lol ------------- DS (5yrs) and DD (3yrs) |
Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 13 October 2010 at 9:34pm
That's how I am feeling, the older she gets the more I worry but DP has had a good think about it and keeps cutting down the number of years he wants to wait! I would ideally love 2 under 2 but it looks like we'll have about a 3 year age gap! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Mum_mum
Date Posted: 14 October 2010 at 7:43am
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I think I would like DD to be closer to 3 but DH feels that we should start early next year so shes closer to 2. Will see how I feel in Jan I think I think what I need to remember is that its only the first 6-8months that is the total hardest and my friend told me yesterday she has found having her 2nd so much easier than her first! Lets hope it's like that lol ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
Angel baby - May 2008
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Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 14 October 2010 at 8:41am
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My 2nd was heaps easier too. He was naturally a more chilled baby and didn't have the colic issues that I suffered through with DD, I am more relaxed and self-assured in my mothering and my oldest helps to entertain him plus when I have to do something (like say I'm hanging out washing but it's too blustery to take the kids out with me) I can leave DD in charge briefly and if DS gets upset she will come and get me and if I'm busy and don't notice DS getting into mischief DD will tattle on him - it's brilliant! -------------
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Posted By: Babe
Date Posted: 14 October 2010 at 9:30am
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I knew I wanted another one after #1 but it wasn't til he was about 15mo that I really started thinking right I'm clucky lol then it took us 6 months to actually decide to start TTC coz I'd had awful PND and we wanted to make sure I was on top of things before I went back into the hormonally disturbed world of baby breeding. We got a BFP the first month we went for it and theres 2y6m19d between the boys lol its a great gap but we plan on having a slightly smaller one next time round.
I think since I haven't had any probs with PND this time round we'll start TTC as soon as I get that clucky, I know I'm ready feeling which I'm expecting to kick in fairly soon after #2s first bday. We're planning to TTC in April/March but if I'm not feeling ready then its a flexible date
IMO the gaps between kids don't really matter. I know siblings who were born super-close together, siblings born super-far apart and siblings with a 2yr-ish age gap and ultimately the way they each feel about it (different families, etc BTW) comes down to how they were parented, not the gap. -------------   
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