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How is everyone coping?

Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Support
Forum Name: Living with Post Natal Depression
Forum Description: Around one in ten NZ mothers will be diagnosed with PND in the first year of their babies life. Find support and encouragement and share ideas for coping here.
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36210
Printed Date: 09 November 2024 at 8:13am
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Topic: How is everyone coping?
Posted By: escadachic
Subject: How is everyone coping?
Date Posted: 12 October 2010 at 9:42pm
Just though I'd make this thread for people to come and share. The good and the not so good and just whatever you want to share.

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Replies:
Posted By: escadachic
Date Posted: 12 October 2010 at 9:55pm
How I am coping varies so much from week to week, day to day, hour to hour.

I wish it was consistent!

I have had some really, really down days. A week or so ago I was picturing in my head, going downstairs and finding some broken glass and cutting my wrists    I didn't seem to being thinking clearly, as my baby was at home as was my older daughter. What did I think would happen if I'd gone through with this thought. Thankfully it was just a really bad thought and I just had a major cry instead. It's hard admitting to my counsellor or anyone who cares about me, that my mind went to such a dark place.

Today, I just feel really tired and have cried a few times. But I think I'm just drained as my iron tablets ran out a week or more ago and I have had any since.

Sometimes I feel so much better and like everything is ok again and I like that feeling. But then the cloud of depression starts to linger again

Cyfs came and visited last week, which made me feel rather down, knowing they were coming. It just makes me think of what a crap parent I believe I am and I don't like to be reminded of that. But they are there to help, so that's ok.

I will be going to a new PND support group soon. As I found all the women from the previous one...a bit snobby. Nothing against well off people though, I don't mind well off people if they are humble and pleasant. But most of the women from the old support group and snobby and clicky and my pet hate is clicky women!    I mean there are enough of them at my DD's school. That's the problem with living in a cheap house in a well off suburb. But of course, you do get the lovely parents though, who don't let money change them. So here's hoping the new PND support group is a more positive experience. They have a new person taking it, who is very well qualified, so that should help. Last person didn't gel well with me and didn't really listen to me or make me feel accepted or heard and often made me feel judged and that is not cool! I mean it's a SUPPORT group, I should feel supported.

Anyway, enough about me. How is everyone else?

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Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 12 October 2010 at 9:57pm
Well to be honest I thing I am doing pretty bloody well. I had my appendix out nearly 2wks ago now. I can't lift the boys for 4-6wks which is very frustrating. MIL has come to stay for a week to help out and I am coping really well. MIL is lovely but she does things in the house so differently to me and it really gets up my nose and I normally get really stressed and my PND gets bad when the ILs normally come and stay. But so far this week I have stayed relaxed and calm and just let things ride. So I have to say I am pretty proud of myself.

I hope everyone else is well

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Lindsey




Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 12 October 2010 at 10:01pm
Sorry to hear that you are having some down days escadachic. If you don't mind me asking, are you on meds? If you are, are they the correct levels? I was really reluctant to go on meds but have found them to be such a big help

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Lindsey




Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 13 October 2010 at 12:21pm
Kelly sorry to hear you are having some rough days!

Can't really offer any advice, I know what it's like to want to do the things you were thinking, though from my teenage/college years and not PND and I know it's not a nice feeling though at the time it feels like the only solution!

PM me your new addy! We should meet up for coffee or just a chat or whatever! Would love to see wee Annabelle again too

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http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: escadachic
Date Posted: 14 October 2010 at 4:04pm
Oh thankx ladies for being so caring.

I wasn't on meds, but like you Linzy, I have finally given in and started some yesterday.

I am only on 1/4 of a tablet for the first 4 days and then 1/2 a tablet til the packet runs out and then the Dr will reassess things and see how I am feeling. He said there is a better anti-depressant I can try, but it won't be subsidised til December. So for now I'm just on Citalapram I think.

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Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 14 October 2010 at 7:15pm
I hope the Citalopram helps, it certainly has for me

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Lindsey




Posted By: escadachic
Date Posted: 15 October 2010 at 11:21am
It does in the short term. Which is fine. As the better one will be subsidised by December, so I'll go on that one after. Annoying thing is, Citalopram makes me feel really nauseous, even on just 1/4 of a tablet.

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Posted By: Cadesmum
Date Posted: 17 October 2010 at 9:46am
Hi all, you are all in Wellignton but for anyone reading this forum in the Pukekohe area I just want to let you know that there is a PND Support Group called Well Women. It is a peer support group that meets regularly and offers free childcare while you meet. Is really a great support those those in our community!


Posted By: 1st_Time_Preggies
Date Posted: 20 October 2010 at 2:34pm
Glad to hear you are feeling slightly better on the meds escadachic. It is hard to go on them, but I too found citalapram really helped me. I am even thinking of weaning myself off at the start of next year! It is a scary thought but I want to give it a go. I have told myself if i start to feel that anxiety again, I can always go back to the full dose :-)


Posted By: escadachic
Date Posted: 21 October 2010 at 11:25am
I found out yesterday I have an under-active thyroid. So that can contribute to feeling depressed, tired, lacking energy, weight gain and trouble losing weight.

So apparently once pills for that kick in, I should feel better too. Yay!

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Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 27 October 2010 at 9:48pm
escadachic how are the meds for the thyroid going? My MIL has an underactive thyroid and I know it causes her probs incl tiredness.

I spoke to doc today about going off Citalopram and she has given me a plan to slowly wean off them, should take about 3mths in total which should bring me to about 1yr on meds.

Doing well at the moment. Had my appendix removed about 4wks ago. MIL came to stay for a week to help out and I did really well, normally having her in the house causes all sorts of problems for me as she does things so differently to me and it drives me nuts. But this time I just turned away and didn't let it bother me, was very proud of myself

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Lindsey




Posted By: amme_eilyk
Date Posted: 28 October 2010 at 8:48pm
I am doing better at the moment, the nausea has gone which is making a huge difference.


Posted By: girly_girl
Date Posted: 12 November 2010 at 10:00pm
Hi girls, I'm doing so much better now, I had a really rough patch and ended up with the crisis team. I'm currently under Hauora mental health and now on venlafaxine and seroqual. Stink, cos now I have to be on meds for even longer - but at least its getting sorted, and no more black thoughts!!

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Posted By: escadachic
Date Posted: 12 November 2010 at 11:11pm
Wow amme_eilyk, your getting near the end of your pregnancy!    How are you feeling? Do you know what you're having?

Girlygirl. Sux that you felt so low. But yay that you are feeling better and getting the help and medication you need. Are you anything like me and keep to yourself when you are feeling that low?

I am feeling much better myself now that I am on the Thyroid medication and anti'd's. Though I do still get depressed on occasion. Like today for what seems like no reason. But on the plus side, I am having less crap days.

How is everyone doing?

Feel free to comment even if you're not doing well or if you are. It's ok to feel down, even if others are feeling better.

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Posted By: girly_girl
Date Posted: 13 November 2010 at 5:46pm
Oh yes escadachic - I very much internalise it all - probably to my detriment to be honest. I don't like to share in case I bring everyone else down with me. I'm complete rubbish with the phone too - the land line gets unplugged and my cellphone goes on silent. Sigh, its not pleasant is it?

I'm the same - more good days than bad now, but still getting the odd one sneaking in there. I feel that I am better able to cope with them now though as I know its not always going to be like this.

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Posted By: amme_eilyk
Date Posted: 13 November 2010 at 8:40pm
I still cant wait for the pregnancy to be over, but for the first time I dont feel sick or exhausted all the time and I can actually do stuff. I have been taking multivitamins, although not sure if they help at all. Am still having my down days, the baby kicking drives me nuts and I just want it to stop sometimes and dizziness is starting to set in again. But am doing much better. Still under mental health here and have a psychiatrist appointment to check my medications and a psychologist appointment this week. Sunny weather seems to be helping too. I am having a girl.

Its so good that you are feeling better as well escadachic and girlygirl.


Posted By: cheekymouse
Date Posted: 16 November 2010 at 3:13pm
Hi all,

Not sure where else to put this, I have been diagnosed with depression in the last 2 weeks, i am having a bad day and just don't know where to find the motivation to do anything.

My fiancee left me a month ago and so now its just me and my 4 month old son. I feel so lost and lonely today it scares me.

How do others get on and find the motivation to just get out of the house?


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http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: escadachic
Date Posted: 16 November 2010 at 4:48pm
Oh that sux Cheekymouse. Sorry to hear about your fiancee leaving.

Bad days, I know all about them.

Motivation, hmm, I lack that. All I try to do is just relax when I can and do nothing sometimes and do what needs to be done when I have the energy. As feeling relaxed to me is more important then housework. As it can be so overwhelming trying to manage everything.

Sometimes just going for a drive, even if by yourself and with baby can be nice, just find somewhere quiet to park up and chill. Or else find a good friend who knows how to listen and either call them, invite them over or visit if you feel you can. It might be easier if you don't like leaving the house, to ask someone who cares about you to come visit. Not sure if that helps. But hopefully it does.



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Posted By: girly_girl
Date Posted: 16 November 2010 at 5:23pm
Oh cheekymouse! You poor sausage - I find it hard enough being down when I have a husband to help ease the strain. I can't imagine how you are doing.

Is there a family centre or some such place in Chch? The one we have here in Hamilton has been my life line. You need some support networks around you hun.

As for motivation, that's part of the beast I'm afraid. In the end you do what you can, when you can, and escadachic is right, your sanity is much more important than housework.

I am under Hauora health working on my motivation. One of the things they have set up for me is a container with various jobs around the house in - I pull out one a day and that's what I do, no decisions necessary.

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Posted By: amme_eilyk
Date Posted: 16 November 2010 at 7:59pm
hugs from me cheekymouse. that must be so hard.

i found that the only way I actually made it out of the house was if I made an appointment, so had some one to let down if I didnt go. It might be something like planning to meet a friend for lunch, or to help them do something.

motivation is a major issue and something I am pretty much lacking, some days are better than others.

definitely tell a close friend/family member what is happening with you. I found it a lot easier to do stuff around the house if someone was there helping me, it wasnt so much the help than not doing it alone.

I have talked to the psychiatrist at maternal mental health and i am going to try going off citalopram before the baby is born.


Posted By: cheekymouse
Date Posted: 16 November 2010 at 9:14pm
Thanks for the support ladies, i have actually moved closer to my parents so am now in the waikato area.

I went to my parents place for the afternoon, and they cooked me dinner which is always good. it means i get out of the house and i get some help with Max/i get to pass max to granni for a few hours.

I am on fluox... and am seeing a councellor but like you all i think i just have the bad and the good.

Today was the bad day. I try to get out of the house once a day for a walk even if it is 30 mins but today i couldn't even get the motivation to do that.

Anyway, better try get max to sleep and crash for the night myself.

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http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: girly_girl
Date Posted: 16 November 2010 at 9:26pm
Where abouts in the Waikato are you cheekymouse? I could meet you for a coffee if you are near Hamilton? I hope you get a good sleep hun x.

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Posted By: cheekymouse
Date Posted: 17 November 2010 at 5:04pm
Hiya, i'm in Matamata, but come to Hamilton for a day out when i can afford petrol. Would love to meet with others when im over :)

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http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: girly_girl
Date Posted: 17 November 2010 at 5:05pm
Cool! I'd be keen to meet up, and I'm sure there would be some others too. Matamata is a lovely place hun x

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Posted By: cheekymouse
Date Posted: 17 November 2010 at 5:18pm
cool, i will let you know when im planning my next trip over.

Yea, i have come 'home' so to speak, i grew up here, only lived in Christchurch for 2 years with my fiancee.

Its an awesome wee town. I manage to get out most days for a walk around the streets, still re discovering it all really.

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http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: lostAmber
Date Posted: 20 November 2010 at 5:54pm
Have had a rough couple of days. Am thinking of contacting my psychologist on monday and making an appt. I didn't want to do this until I had lost weight and was feeling like I could be seen in public again though. Also considering asking for a referral to the mothercraft unit for some support.

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http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: amme_eilyk
Date Posted: 20 November 2010 at 6:45pm
hugs from me lostAmber. Definitely contact your psychologist and talk to someone. I am sure that you look fantastic, especially seeing that olivia isnt that old.


Posted By: EmDee
Date Posted: 21 November 2010 at 12:36pm
Big hugs LA It sounds like getting in contact with your psychologist is a good idea.

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DS 8
DD 6
DS 4
DD 2


Posted By: lostAmber
Date Posted: 22 November 2010 at 12:00pm
Not this week, maybe next week. Must lose weight.

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http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: happymum21
Date Posted: 22 November 2010 at 4:53pm
LA would it help you if you had someone who could accompany you to your appointments? Or for someone to make the appointments for you and commit to driving you there?
I am more than happy to do this for you. I am a full time student and have uni holidays at the moment so don't have a lot going on. I have had mild PND in the past and understand exactly how you are feeling. My daughter is now 11 so I am able to come over during week days during school time or in the weekends. My mum lives in Hamilton and I'm near Matamata.
Feel free to PM me if you would like to catch up sometime or if I can help you with anything (that applies to anyone in the MM/Ham area also).

Becks

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Becs



Posted By: lostAmber
Date Posted: 23 November 2010 at 1:13pm
If I make the appt. I will show up, but i'm not ready to make it yet. I'm having some manic days as well as the dreaded crash days. I will reach out when things turn desperate but for now i'm doing okay.

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http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: cheekymouse
Date Posted: 23 November 2010 at 2:16pm
Hugs LA. Hope you haveing a reasonable week. don't hesitate to PM also.

I am having a reasonable week, i managed to get through the first visit from my ex without being effected too much. i have been awake since 5am thinking about it though but thats not too bad. Going to go for a walk later to clear my head.

I'm feeling a lot more positive and seem to have a lot more motivation.

Hope the rest of you that browse this are doing ok :)

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http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: lostAmber
Date Posted: 23 November 2010 at 5:32pm
aww cheekymouse are you trying to look after little max all on your own?

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http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: amme_eilyk
Date Posted: 23 November 2010 at 7:22pm
i had a bit of a down day today, which in hindsight was good thing as I have been able to pinpoint a few things that are different between today and my good days so will try to change them to see the difference.


Posted By: cheekymouse
Date Posted: 23 November 2010 at 7:56pm
LA yes, my fiancee left me for my friend a month ago :)

amme_eilyk. glad you have been able to pinpoint some things that effect you so you can change it

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http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: amme_eilyk
Date Posted: 23 November 2010 at 8:23pm
hugs cheekymouse, that must have been awful. good on you for staying strong for max.


Posted By: mummytobesep08
Date Posted: 23 November 2010 at 8:42pm
(((hugs))) cheekymouse, that must be soooo hard, I can't even imagine. Sounds like it's definitely a great thing that you are closer to your parents now Sounds like you are doing a lot of good things with walking and counseling and stuff- I hope it continues to help! You might find that as wee Max gets older and less dependent, more inteactive and stuff things get easier too. Those first months are so damn hard, it's amazing anyone gets through it, let alone on there own. Kia kaha

amme it's great when you can pinpoint little things that make stuff better too aye! I am definitely at that point now. I notice that the more I go for walks and stuff the more motivated I am, which is funny cuz I thought if I exercised more I'd be tired cuz of using energy but it's like the opposite.

LA I hope you're hanging in there OK. I don't think anyone will worry about how much you weight but ya gotta do what ya gotta do- just don't be toooo hard on yourself!

We're going pretty good here. Up and down of course because of this stupid earthquake and how it's affected my wee one- she stopped sleeping and I find it really hard when she doesn't sleep because I don't sleep well anyway so I get really down. It's made me think 'Hmmmmmm I don't think I could handle a newborn waking me up then!' which is sad cuz we were hoping to TTC soon, (I've got the baby bug and it's all I can think about lol!) but I guess waiting til we are ready means I"m less likely to get PND real bad again...maybe

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http://lilypie.com">

http://lilypie.com">

Angel babes '07 & '10- <3 <3


Posted By: lostAmber
Date Posted: 24 November 2010 at 7:13am
mummydee, girlygirl, cheekymouse, and mum2alana, are you up to planning a day where we could all meet and have coffee or something? we could meet at the cafe at the hamilton gardens or bring our own picnic?

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http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: happymum21
Date Posted: 24 November 2010 at 9:39am
That would be awesome! Most days are fine for me, i will fit in with you guys who have babies to organise. Cheekymouse I am near MM if you want me to pick you and Max up?

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Becs



Posted By: lostAmber
Date Posted: 24 November 2010 at 10:10am
Great. I am free most days too. The only comittment I have is from 8.30-11.30am on Tuesdays but any other day i'm available. Lets make it next week sometime, get in before xmas and all that mad fever.

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http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: happymum21
Date Posted: 24 November 2010 at 10:44am
Next week is good apart from Thursday 2nd. How bout Wednesday 1st or Friday 3rd? Or even Monday 29th? Yay!

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Becs



Posted By: lostAmber
Date Posted: 24 November 2010 at 12:49pm
With Thurs out for you I can either do Mon or Fri. Finally have a hair appt. Wed- first one since having Olivia, and because she came early, I missed my due one, so regrowth is pretty hideous at the moment.

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http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: happymum21
Date Posted: 24 November 2010 at 3:40pm
Ok, you say the day and I will be there. I just hope you won't get too tired, you will have an almost full week ahead of you next week.
Am looking forward to meeting up with you and Olivia and hopefully some others also.



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Becs



Posted By: lostAmber
Date Posted: 24 November 2010 at 4:31pm
lets make it monday then    the more I get out the more energy I have and the better I feel, I don't do well at home alone. if you bring walking shoes we could do the river walk too.

I got my lazy butt out for a 45min walk this arvo- go me lol.

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http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: cheekymouse
Date Posted: 24 November 2010 at 5:54pm
Hiya, i would be keen :) mum2alana, that would be awesome if its not too much hassle :), i don't think i have anything on monday

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http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: happymum21
Date Posted: 24 November 2010 at 6:29pm
Awesome, no hassle at all CM. Will PM you my number and stuff.

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Becs



Posted By: lostAmber
Date Posted: 25 November 2010 at 3:47pm
Had a rough day today, was in tears by 9.30am. Took Olivia to the Family Centre and we will be trying her on thickened formula for the next 24hrs to see if she settles better. She just doesn't sleep because she is so uncomfortable and it gets tiring. They also had me fill in another PND questionnaire and now i'm due to start group next week. I'm not sure if I actually need it though, today was just one of those low days where I was exhausted and couldn't cope with any more crying.

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http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: amme_eilyk
Date Posted: 25 November 2010 at 4:51pm
sorry to hear you are having a tough day la. good on you for going to see someone and get help. hopefully it works and you are starting to feel better.


Posted By: lostAmber
Date Posted: 25 November 2010 at 5:50pm
thanks amme. i'm actually listening to a podcast on pnd right now and investigating the mothercraft unit. i think i may make contact with my psychologist tomorrow.

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http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: girly_girl
Date Posted: 25 November 2010 at 5:58pm
I'm keen for Monday too. What time etc were you thinking?

LA - I have been through group at the family centre and I can not promote it enough!!!! My group girls are my lifeline. You may think you don't really need it but you will get so much out of it, I promise!!

Does Olivia have reflux? Cale has had it really bad - so pm me if you want and I can talk you through some of the stuff they suggested to me.

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Posted By: happymum21
Date Posted: 25 November 2010 at 6:53pm
Awesome stuff GG. I am picking up Cheekymouse in Matamata, haven't made a time as yet. But am thinking around 11ish?? It will take us nearly an hour to get to Hams.

LA - do your best to attend the Group sessions. Even if you only get one thing out of it, it will be worth it for you, as well as knowing that there are others out there in similar situations.


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Becs



Posted By: girly_girl
Date Posted: 26 November 2010 at 1:14pm
Girls, I'm going to have to opt out of Monday - I have a really sick baby and husband. We are off to the hospital this afternoon to rehydrate my wee boy - this is a very horrid tummy bug and I wouldn't wish it on any of you.

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Posted By: happymum21
Date Posted: 26 November 2010 at 3:20pm
No probs GG, hope lil one (and big one) is on the mend soon and that you don't get it next   

LA - let me know if you are still keen for Monday, you can PM me or Cheekymouse if you like. How are you feeling today?

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Becs



Posted By: lostAmber
Date Posted: 26 November 2010 at 4:10pm
I was back at the FC today (before I read any of these posts) and pulled out of groups. GG, Olivia does have reflux, they just told me that is what it is- that is why she wakes up and can't sleep unless she is upright on me. We are now doing a thickened formula to see if this is enough to help her, but they suspect not (no improvement over 24hrs that she's been on it), and then it will be off to the GP for losec or something. I get really frustrated having to hold her all day though, so can't wait for something to actually help her, and free my arms, and my self up!

Sorry to hear about your sick son and husband, that must be hard. Hospital is no fun either, is he being admitted to the ward or are they doing the rehydration in the paeds a&e?

m2a, are you thinking of leaving matamata at 11am or meeting at 11am? I'm still keen for a meet up.

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http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: happymum21
Date Posted: 27 November 2010 at 7:39am
LA - hope you have got baby onto Losec, definately will help with the reflux, and it's only a temporary thing for babe to be on meds. Am sure you will feel completely different once baby starts to settle more and you are a little more free.

We are planning on being at Lake at 11am. I am picking up CM at 10 then we will head over. Hope that will suit you At this stage it's just us 3 meeting so I will PM you my number in case you can't make it for Monday.

Becs

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Becs



Posted By: lostAmber
Date Posted: 27 November 2010 at 7:50am
Becs, we are going to see if the thickened formula is enough by itself but if not then I will make an appt. to see the GP next week. I've also decided that I will make contact with my psychologist again next week

I look forward to Monday!!

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http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: lostAmber
Date Posted: 27 November 2010 at 8:19am
Daphne, how are you doing?

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http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: mummytobesep08
Date Posted: 29 November 2010 at 9:11pm
hey everyone I hope those of you who were able to had a nice time at your meet up today

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http://lilypie.com">

http://lilypie.com">

Angel babes '07 & '10- <3 <3


Posted By: girly_girl
Date Posted: 01 December 2010 at 11:57pm
Arrrrgh!!! I'm so glad to be home - we have been in hospital since Saturday, and I'm so glad to be home. Nobody come anywhere near us ok? We have rotavirus running rampant in our house! Little boy was in hospital for it, and DH has it too now.

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Posted By: lostAmber
Date Posted: 02 December 2010 at 6:08am
aww GG that is awful, that is the virus of the gut/digestive system right? That is what Olivia got when she was 4wks old and we were in hospital too, it was so horrible.

On a positive note, I called my psychologist monday and she asked me to come in that day. I did so and now am back seeing her once a week, so yay for me lol. I also got my hair cut and coloured yesterday and feel so much better for having just done that.

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http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: EmDee
Date Posted: 02 December 2010 at 8:20am
Damn, I wish I had of checked this thread earlier, I would have been keen to meet up with you all. Next time!

Girlygirl - hope your DH & DS are doing OK

LA - ooh hair cut & colour sound great! Good on you for doing something for yourself. I can't remember the last time I coloured my hair, I just try to pretend that there aren't any greys in it

I'm doing OK for the most part. I'm feeling much calmer in general. DH has been awesome and is really supportive. My SIL is now looking after O & L one day a week and DH has been dropping O off at kindy in the mornings. It means that I'm not stressing out about getting him to kindy on time, not having to struggle to get L to do anything quickly (she can be infuriatingly slow!) and not worrying about disturbing C's sleep. Saw my Dr last week who was lovely, if a little quick with the prescription pad (nothing against using drugs, I just don't know if he listened to me properly as I think I can beat this without them). My sleep has gone out the window in the past few weeks. If it's not one of the kids waking, then it's me waking myself *sigh*. Definitely notice that everything is 10 times worse when I'm tired.

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DS 8
DD 6
DS 4
DD 2


Posted By: escadachic
Date Posted: 02 December 2010 at 11:43am
GG - I hope you and your family all get better soon.

LA - Yay for getting your hair cut and coloured. It does make a big difference to how you feel. I know I felt crap about myself before I got my hair cut and coloured and though I may not like my body heaps yet, at least I love my hair!

Mummydee - Yeah I so agree about lack of sleep making things 10 times worse! Glad to hear you are feeling calmer.

As for me, I think I may need to ask about uping my meds, as apparently 1/2 a tablet is barely anything and doesn't do a lot. The lady who runs the PND support group I go to is a registered Psychiatrist and also has suffered PND in the past(that is the prerequisite for anyone taking the group) and when I told her I'm only on 1/2 a tablet and really feeling crap again, like I was before the meds, she said she's not surprised as 1/2 a tablet wouldn't be going that far to helping me. Which I found interesting. Apparently even 1-2 tablets isn't considered much either and another interesting fact, it takes 9-18months for your serotonin(sp?) levels to get back to exactly where they should be. So hopefully I can talk t my MMH lady again soon and maybe get my meds upped. And PND support group lady said maybe I should get my thyroid levels rechecked, as I have been feeling way too tired lately and I've test the other option and it was BFN thankfully. I have started taking iron tablets again, in an effort to improve my energy. As no kidding, though I was away for 3 days away from baby last week and I got enough sleep, I'd get to midday and need to sleep and same again around 5pmish. And I should not be that tired. My back has also been mega sore, but I think that is a combination of sleeping on a very uncomfy bed while away and walking around on steep heels for most of last Saturday at my best friends wedding.

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Posted By: lostAmber
Date Posted: 02 December 2010 at 5:02pm
I love my hair- yay for that. Doing good this week, feeling brighter, taking rests when baby sleeps, have been to the doctors to get reflux sorted so started the meds today, and hope by next week we see further improvement there.

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http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: amme_eilyk
Date Posted: 13 December 2010 at 1:07pm
I am not doing so well, nausea is back and I am not coping even with nausea medication. I have been talking to my midwife and I will probably be being induced at 38 weeks. So I just need to last the next 3 weeks or so.


Posted By: escadachic
Date Posted: 13 December 2010 at 9:53pm
Oh that sux Amme_eilyk

Is the nausea medication making things worse or better?

Being induced sounds good and hopefully those few weeks don't lag, but with the nausea it probably makes it drag a bit aye.

Hopefully once bubs arrives you'll start feeling better.

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Posted By: amme_eilyk
Date Posted: 14 December 2010 at 8:49am
nausea medication is making it slightly better but not much. having an end date seems to really help though.


Posted By: lostAmber
Date Posted: 15 December 2010 at 8:48am
I am going under

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http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: amme_eilyk
Date Posted: 15 December 2010 at 9:23am
hugs lostamber I am online if you want to talk.


Posted By: snugglebug
Date Posted: 15 December 2010 at 2:05pm
LostAmber just wanted to say I am going through the same thing as you, baby has been diagnosed with reflux and is on losec which helps some days but others not. So I'm also around if you need someone to talk to (I was lisaas101 from charting and have you on my facebook).

I am worried about post natal depression, I have some days where I just feel like I should be so much happier than this, where I dread the baby waking up or even getting up myself in case it's a difficult day with him. Often find myself in tears of frustration and exhaustion in the middle of the night when he's screaming and I just can't help and it scares me sometimes how much I resent the whole situation. And it breaks my heart because I do love my baby so much but I can't seem to get happy and excited like I should because of this reflux, Im terrified of visitors or going out. I haven't been diagnosed with PND but I am thinking about seeing a doctor because I am a little afraid of how I'm feeling at the moment.

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Me 28, DH 29
DS born 20 Nov 2010 (4 years old)
#2 due October 7
http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">


Posted By: escadachic
Date Posted: 15 December 2010 at 9:25pm
Oh just wanted to say I found a really good book to read regarding postnatal and pre-natal depression. It's called 'Postnatal Moods - Emotional changes following birth - by Gillian White'. It was written by a New Zealander. It talks about moods during pregnancy too. I've read half of it so far, it's really good.

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Posted By: girly_girl
Date Posted: 16 December 2010 at 12:00pm
I can second that book escadachic - I borrowed it from a friend who I went through group with. Fabulous.

LA - I hope you are ok hun? I'm worried about you. If I can do anything to help (even if it is just run the vacuum cleaner around) please just shout out.


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Posted By: ALittleLoopy
Date Posted: 16 December 2010 at 6:42pm
LEAVE me alone!

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CHEM 6/12+


Posted By: amme_eilyk
Date Posted: 16 December 2010 at 9:37pm
hugs from me hun. Have you talked with a counsellor or someone from MMH about your labour and how you are feeling? you definitely need to try and get some help. it wont make things magically better but it will start to help.

from what i have heard i'm also pretty sure that most people want to give their baby away at some stage. all that matters is that you love her, which you do. it can take time to bond, especially with all the trauma of your birth. as impossible as I know it is, try and give yourself a break and dont stress about being the perfect mum as I guarantee none exist.

if you want to talk feel free to pm or msn me, and if you are up in palmy nth at all let me know and we can do coffee or something.


Posted By: escadachic
Date Posted: 16 December 2010 at 10:51pm
Nicola

It sux that you have been and are feeling like this. I do know how you feel with regards to most of it, except the birth. Though I personally at the time found having no pain relief rather traumatic. I so get the feelings you have regarding your body. I hate my body and though I'm only 2 kgs away from pre-pregnancy weight, which is 63kgs(which is the heaviest I have weighed ever except for pregnancy) it's almost like things look worse now. Though I get that I am older and have had 2 babies and that doesn't help. I just get so pissed off when I see either pregnant women with a tidy bump and tiny everywhere else or women who have had babies recently and their body is so immaculate and perfect so soon after baby. My DP hasn't wanted to leave, I think his computer addiction helped with that. But I have had the same desire to leave them all behind, including the older daughter and the baby. I know what you mean about wearing a mask, but mine probably was more transparent, though I tried to hide my true feelings. I couldn't even paint on/fake a smile. Though my bond issues actually ended up being with my older daughter. I felt like she was an inconvenience and wanted to give her away regularly. Regarding the baby, I just thought that both her and my older girl would be better without me. I did get very close to wanting to put an end to my life, which is scary.

I too am here with open arms and ears if you want to chat privately.

Good on you for being so honest, I know it takes a lot of gutts. And it is hard to admit such low feelings. But at least you know here is a safe place and we really do understand.

MMH would be great to get involved with if you can get a referral to them and PND wellington might be able to offer a support group, which I highly recommend and they offer phone support too, which I also get a lot out of.

It is true that a traumatic labour and having a c-section and/or feeding problems do put up the risk of developing PND, as does the tiredness, previous depression and several other factors and 1 in 10 women develop PND, which is more then the amount who have c-sections. But at least you recognise it and can share how you are feeling, that is a big step, so be proud of yourself for doing that and acknowledging your feelings. So many people just hide and won't admit to it and end up causing themselves so much more harm that way. So big ups to you.

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Posted By: heaf3
Date Posted: 20 December 2010 at 11:49am
*lurker*
Nic hunny, big hugs, I wish you had been able to let your mask down for me on friday, I knew you had been struggling but i wish i had been able to offer you more support instead of just chatting about mindless stuff lol.

am here for you if you want to talk (about anything).

oh and I think you look gorgeous....but I know its hard to see that in yourself sometimes.

xxxxx

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http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">


Posted By: ALittleLoopy
Date Posted: 20 December 2010 at 1:50pm
LEAVE me alone!

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CHEM 6/12+


Posted By: heaf3
Date Posted: 20 December 2010 at 3:27pm
it's ok, i know how you feel, i always have trouble talking about important stuff, it's hard trying to get the courage to talk about it!

and i wish that next time would be sooner! shame we don't live closer together. still, i'm always here & on FB if ya need me

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http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">


Posted By: lostAmber
Date Posted: 20 December 2010 at 5:18pm
Can't "talk" right now, still just feel like crying. Even saw therapist this morning. Don't know what to do with myself.

Another one wearing a mask here Nic and it's starting to crack.

I wish it wasn't Christmas so I could just go on without having to see and deal with anybody.

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http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: ALittleLoopy
Date Posted: 20 December 2010 at 5:51pm
LEAVE me alone!

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CHEM 6/12+


Posted By: amme_eilyk
Date Posted: 20 December 2010 at 7:47pm
oooh I love your haircut nic. you look fabulous.

hugs lost amber.

I find xmas always gets me down. I am trying to get enthused about it as I know it wont matter this year, but it will in the future. I also can't be bothered seeing everyone/dealing with people. I'm not going to the in-laws this year as I cant deal with them, though that will have to change next year. In some ways it is good though as it forces you to get out and see people and does take your mind of things at least for a little while.


Posted By: escadachic
Date Posted: 20 December 2010 at 9:34pm
Lost Amber
If crying is all you feel like doing right now, go with it. Crying is healthy, even if you feel like that's all you want to do. Though sometimes I hate crying heaps, I know it's a good thing and I like the release of emotions in the form of crying.

Xmas, yeah Xmas is hell stressful, even when you're not depressed. But so much more stressful when you are. It is good to see family though, but only if they are showing you care and compassion and it is healing to be around them. I know how family get togethers can be really stressful too.

You hair looks pretty Nic. I'll watch you fb page for when you get a colour. As I know how adding colour to a new haircut makes it that much better.

Masks, yeah we all wear them don't we. But mine cracks quite often. Though when it suits me I can keep my mask up.

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Posted By: shadowfeet
Date Posted: 20 December 2010 at 10:00pm

I'm not coping again. Completely not coping, can't get out of bed in the morning, don't want to know DD. MMH worker is telling me to start my meds again straight away but that was last week and the concept of even making that decision at the moment is too much. I did the edinburgh test and honestly the score scared the hell out of me (high 20's) but I have no idea what I can do about it.

Not even sure why I'm posting this, just cos I spose.



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Posted By: mummytobesep08
Date Posted: 20 December 2010 at 10:13pm
Hey Nic,
Just wanted to send some huge hugs your way

I was on here when you were struggling with the big D before bubs was born, and read about what was happening with your birth. As I read how it ended up, my heart went out to you! It's not wonder you still aren't feeling yourself- you went through something HUGE! My birth had some similarities to yours- I went overdue, everything seemed to go wrong, I lost heaps of blood, needed a transfusion and stuff, so I can relate to how tough it is.

Especially what you said about not being able to do things for baby. You spend 9 months preparing for when your baby comes...no-one ever said when they are here you might not even be able to change nappies for weeks! I remember feeling like an utter failure. All I could do was breastfeed and even with that I sucked- as the complications from birth meant I never had enough milk (so she had bottles too). Those first months were, excuse my 'french', f**king awful.

It DOES get better. I found a lot of different things helped, especially stuff that made me feel like ME again. Also, anything that helped with bonding, I made a priority. Hang in there hun! Keeping up a mask is blardy hard work, but only you will know when and who it's OK to drop it around (of course it's best if you can do it before it cracks into pieces!)

I love your hair by the way, it looks awesome

I was struggling lots at my Charli's first Xmas- she was 3 months so doesn't remember it! I found that doing something little really helped- I just turned the lights on the tree on, sat with her watching them, and sang her a few carols before bed. It felt like I at least did something special with her, even if it was little.


I think Xmas is a really hard time for everyone eh?! It is a stressful month and all the emphasis on families and being happy can make you feel like an outsider. I sometimes feel like I'm a phoney or something, like I'm always faking a smile around Xmas time. But then Hmmm I wonder how many other people are faking it too....



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http://lilypie.com">

http://lilypie.com">

Angel babes '07 & '10- <3 <3


Posted By: ALittleLoopy
Date Posted: 21 December 2010 at 11:01am
LEAVE me alone!

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CHEM 6/12+


Posted By: lostAmber
Date Posted: 21 December 2010 at 4:01pm
I appear to be having a better day today, and so is Liv, so I wonder if it's related? She had a 3hr sleep over midday, a good feed, and then is back down for another sleep now- this is unheard of! I actually have time for myself and she is not in my arms. It feels amazing!

shadowfeet, I would recommend just starting with your meds again, don't give it any thought, just do it, and when things start to feel bearable again, then consider alternative options.

Nic, i'm glad that you didn't give in to the cutting urges, while it feels like a great coping strategy at the time, it just adds something else for you to have to deal with, and right now I think you have enough on your plate. I'm sorry your dh didn't respond in the manner that you needed, mine never does either so I just don't say anything to him and go about doing whatever I feel like I have to at the time- good or bad. Do you have access to MMH where you are? Has your GP suggested this to you?

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http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: ALittleLoopy
Date Posted: 21 December 2010 at 7:06pm
LEAVE me alone!

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CHEM 6/12+


Posted By: MaeBeeBaby
Date Posted: 21 December 2010 at 7:43pm
*lurker in*

Hi girls,

I just saw that BAMN08 was the last poster on the menu here, which made me look in here and have a quick read - I remember so many of you from the Charting Threads, and I am so soooooooo sorry to see that you are in this section of OB!!! I just wanted to pop in and send HUGE HUGS to you all xxx

Love from MB xxx

*lurker out*


Posted By: lostAmber
Date Posted: 22 December 2010 at 8:22am
that sucks Nic, why did they discharge you- were you doing better? I hope your GP will refer you back there again in the new year. did they offer you counselliing or a support worker to come to your home once a week or anything? have you talked to your plunket nurse about how you're feeling, they too would be able to make that referral I imagaine. big hugs lovely.

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http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: girly_girl
Date Posted: 22 December 2010 at 8:40am
Girls have you considered Hauora Health? You can self refer to them. I'm with them and they are amazing! I have a nurse, a doctor, an OT and a psychologist all for free! 0800 839 9916

I'm doing ok - just ridiculously tired with having to deal with all the night time wakings (DH is away looking for work in Auckland). I'm finding that I'm not eating properly though, so its making me feel a bit spaced out. I just forget to eat and then its not til I'm feeling wonky that I realise it. My memory still isn't flash.

Nic - anytime you feel the urge to go down that path again, please pick up the phone hun. Its obviously your bodies way of saying I'm holding too much in and need to let it out. And if you don't want to talk - go ahead and PM your heart away. Same goes for you LA.

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Posted By: escadachic
Date Posted: 22 December 2010 at 9:08am
Good to hear you have been feeling better lostAmber.

Glad to hear you're doing ok girlygirl.

Shadowfeet, congrats on the pregnancy and yeah meds would be a good way to go. Sorry that you are feeling so craps

Nic, glad to hear you didn't give into the desire to self-harm. I struggle with that desire too. I have given in once in 10 months, but I consider that pretty good, as I so struggled with that desire regularly. But I hadn't self-harmed since 2006 previous to that, so I think it means I'm pretty strong.

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Posted By: lostAmber
Date Posted: 22 December 2010 at 2:32pm
Thanks gg. Maybe we could arrange for that meet up in the new year? With your DH looking for work in Auckland, does that mean a potential shift for you? Where is Hauora Health located?

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http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: girly_girl
Date Posted: 22 December 2010 at 4:32pm
In Hamilton they are at 105 Rostrevor Street. I'm not sure where their offices are else where. You got it hun, he's also really keen on Brisbane, me, not so much. All of my support networks are here and now that things are getting a bit better, I'm reluctant to leave the country. At least Auckland is only an hour and a half away. I'd be keen to do the meet up in the new year - we are away for the first week of Jan, but other than that should be around. Give them a call hun, they really are very good. x

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Posted By: lostAmber
Date Posted: 22 December 2010 at 5:10pm
I would love to move to Queensland- the Sunshine Coast more specifically, but my dh shudders at the mention of leaving Hamilton lol. He was born and raised here, me, not a fan. Would love to move back to Auckland myself.

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http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: lostAmber
Date Posted: 28 December 2010 at 8:44am
How did everyone cope with xmas?

It was a very stressful day for us and I was glad when it was over and we were back home. I am now looking forward to just being able to relax with my dh and daughter for the next couple of weeks, making day trips if we feel up to it, and having time at home together. I have woken up with a cold this morning though so that's no fun, but will head off to the chemist for some sudafed just as soon as i've had a shower and got changed.

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http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: shadowfeet
Date Posted: 28 December 2010 at 3:54pm

I'm glad Christmas is over for another year, I can think about getting our financials back on track again. Loved the extra time with family and DH being off work for 10 days though.

I'm still pretty down but seem to have clawed myself up a wee bit with a cleaning roster (1-2 rooms a day and ignore the rest). The main rooms havn't been tackled yet but at least the small rooms (DD's room and the bathroom) have had a proper clean, more than just a vacuum, for the first time in months



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Posted By: girly_girl
Date Posted: 28 December 2010 at 10:30pm
Shadowfeet, you are far more organised than me! I used to be the queen of lists and timetables etc - but now the mere thought of a list freaks me out. I tried, but it ended up in tears and much tearing up of paper. My OT has these boxes that I use. They have little jobs in them that aren't too scary. On the days that I can't make a decision, I just pull one out and that is what I do.

Xmas is over for my side, but IL's is still to come. Bring on 8th January when I can relax for a couple of weeks at least before Cale's birthday has to be arranged.

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Posted By: 5th...and final??
Date Posted: 03 January 2011 at 12:11am
Hi ladies. Can't quite bring myself to post the crappy details of my life just yet but wanted to let you all know I will probably be lurking in here. Xmas + family = aaaargh.
If you have any more fab tips from your OT gg please post em. Not sure if I have the energy for follow through but hey you never know.

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Posted By: escadachic
Date Posted: 03 January 2011 at 7:10pm
Welcome 3rdtimelucky

Sorry to hear you're not feeling so good.

We're here with open eyes, arms and ears when you want to share.

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Posted By: escadachic
Date Posted: 03 January 2011 at 9:23pm
Oh I have started a blog if anyone wants to read. Just click the 'www' on the bottom of my post. It's about my history with depression and PND.

Or here's the link if that's easier http://escadachic.wordpress.com/ - my blog

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