Home birth
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Pregnant
Forum Name: Pregnancy
Forum Description: Pregnant! Wanting to chat to other mums-to-be (or dads-to-be)? Share your thoughts, experiences, and ideas... This is that place!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36430
Printed Date: 27 July 2025 at 5:16pm
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Home birth
Posted By: first
Subject: Home birth
Date Posted: 27 October 2010 at 9:44am
|
I'm really keen on one but I"m also keen on a water birth. My DH is not keen on a home birth of all. He says he's worried for me and the baby.
So my questions are this: How did you get your DH on board with home birth? If you had a water birth at home and hired a pool, how much did it cost? If it is going to cost a ton then we'll have to go to birthcare which was lovely last time but not quiet home. Thanks for your thoughts. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://pregnancy.baby-gaga.com/"> 
|
Replies:
Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 27 October 2010 at 10:08am
|
I'm keen for a homebirth next time. Basically when we had DD she was born at 8.08pm and we got to post natal at 10.30 and DP was told he had to go home - visiting hours were over. And so he never got a proper chance to sit with DD until about day 3... Just so many visitors etc. So that sort of 'sold' him too on the idea.
I had no problems with my birth last time so yeah, perhaps get him to write a list of all his 'concerns' and maybe get your MW to have a chat to him about it iygwim. Like how they'll monitor you and bubs... What would happen IF an emergency did occur... etc. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: newme
Date Posted: 27 October 2010 at 11:15am
|
I am planning a home birth.
My DH was also very concerned, however when I showed him the numerous studies that show exactly how safe a home birth is (at least as safe, or more safe for low risk mothers) he has totally come around. In fact he is really quite excited about it. And have DH meet the midwife to discuss his concerns. I would check out the following websites: http://www.homebirth.org.nz/index.html - Home Birth Aotearoa http://www.homebirth.org.uk/blokes.htm - Fathers at home birth I was lucky enough to be loaned a birthing pool from a friend, who ended up not using her. It is from H2OhBaby. http://www.h2ohbaby.co.nz/product.php?categoryid=1 - Birth Pool I just had a look on their website and they are having a special this week if you wanted to buy a pool and all the accessories (only $180!). The real benefit to owning a pool as that you can get it blown up and ready to go in advance, and have a practice run, so that when you go into labour you know what you are doing! Otherwise AquaBub hire pools http://www.aquabub.co.nz/index1.html - here And I think the most important thing is to find a midwife you are TOTALLY happy with. You need someone you trust and have confidence in. |
Posted By: HippyMama
Date Posted: 27 October 2010 at 3:13pm
|
What sealed the deal for my DH, was having a sit down with my midwife to discuss the parts of birthing at home that he was concerned about, and having a 'plan' of what to do if xyz went wrong.
We hired a pool from Aquabub, but didn't end up using it in the end as my birth was a bit quicker than we anticipated (I was still labouring in the bedroom when I hit transition), the cost wasn't hideous and my DD1 was excited as she got to have a swim in it after LOL Here's another article I love about homebirths and fathers to be: http://www.homebirth.net.au/2008/04/this-brilliant-article-was-written-by.html - Secrets of a Homebirth Dad I would sum it up by saying that the decision to homebirth was the absolutely right thing to do for us, it was *amazing* how different and how much more relaxed / comfortable things were. DD1 wasn't shunted off to someone else's house (I had a support person on board for her), DH occupied himself doing useful 'stuff', I laboured in my own familiar surroundings, didn't have to endure a hideous car ride to wherever, and then sat in my own lounge wrapped up with my new baby having morning tea made in my own kitchen... not to mention how amazing the shower I had afterwards felt! The one thing I tell most women to remember though, is that YOU are the one making the decisions, don't do things to make other people happy - your body is the one doing all the hard work, find a midwife who will respect you and help you make informed decisions, and just go with the flow  ------------- Mama to two earth walkers & two angels. Remember, you are not managing an inconvenience; You are raising a human being. ~ Kittie Franz Next Slingbabies! Meet - Friday 4th May !! |
Posted By: rachelsea
Date Posted: 28 October 2010 at 3:16pm
|
We are planning a homebirth too. My DH is fully into it, I'm not sure why he just thinks it's a great idea.
I'm still not sure if I want a waterbirth or not - I didn't have one with DD as found it more comfortable walking around. But my midwife has a birthing pool so said she can bring that around. I think I'll try labouring in the pool and see how I feel when it comes to giving birth if I want to stay in there or not 
I'm really looking forward to being in my own bed right away, DH being there and not being made to leave right after the baby is born, and not having a million different midwives/nurses telling me different ways of doing things (eg breastfeeding!) which is very confusing for a new mum! ------------- DD 4yrs DS 2yrs http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
|
Posted By: heaf3
Date Posted: 28 October 2010 at 4:54pm
|
I kind of want one, DH does because he hates hospitals and doesnt think he will be able to handle being in one for so long....and we are only like a 5 minute MAX drive to the hospital if something was to go wrong....but this is my first bub so don't even know if the midwife would be keen or not, not something we have talked about yet. but it would be nice to have the support at the hospital as i will be a total noob with everything and really want to make sure i can get the breastfeeding thing sorted so maybe hospital would be better....i don't know yet lol. but am definately thinking about it. or at the least will stay home for as long as possible before going to the hospital. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
|
Posted By: RedHeadDuck
Date Posted: 28 October 2010 at 5:40pm
I can't believe your DH/DPs got kicked out 
I gave birth at a hospital that is well known for being a bit stupid about things like that, but they didn't have a problem with DH staying at ALL! In fact, I was in hospital for a week before they induced me and they said he was more than welcome to stay those nights too, even though we didn't have a baby and nothing was happening!! They also didn't even have a problem with visitors coming after hours (we had family come in the night he was born) all they had to do was sign in, and we were asked to keep quiet and be respectful of others! |
Posted By: lil_lease
Date Posted: 28 October 2010 at 6:27pm
|
I'd love to have a home birth but being high risk (stupid genetic condition) if I went for a home birth it would most likely have to be an unassisted one which I wouldn't be keen on at all!!
I am planning on labouring at home for as long as possible though since the hospital is a hop, skip and a jump away (2 min by car, max 5 min with traffic) ------------- Antony, gone but never forgotten 2-4-2010 
|
Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 28 October 2010 at 8:00pm
MC I would have enjoyed that, although I was fine on my own, I guess it was because I was in a shared room although the whole time I was there I never shared a room but maybe jic...? Don't know but it was quite upsetting for me and DP that he was made to go right away and I was hurried out of the delivery room because someone else was coming to use it soon.  ------------- http://lilypie.com">
|
Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 28 October 2010 at 8:23pm
|
Heaf, talk to your MW if you are keen for one, my daughter's stepmum had one with her first, she lived in Kapiti coast at the time (she tried with her second but lived in Australia at the time and labour didn't progress and they are a lot less reluctant there to do them,but she had her last at home too )
So long story short, there are definetly MW's that are ok doing them for your first ------------- 
http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: amme_eilyk
Date Posted: 28 October 2010 at 8:42pm
| My midwife has said I can have one if I want for this baby and it is my first. |
Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 28 October 2010 at 10:07pm
|
Yeah my MW definitely wasn't keen on a homebirth and pointed that out when I said 'What if I don't know when to go to the hospital?' - I was almost a home birth for my mum because she got to almost pushing stage before my dad (who had 4 kids before) realised something wasn't quite right with my mum and shoved her in the car!
But there are mws who will do them as others have said! The thought never occurred to me with my first though it sounds appealing now! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
|
Posted By: newme
Date Posted: 29 October 2010 at 6:38am
|
Plenty of midwives are happy for a home birth with your first. When things do go wrong, they almost always happen with plenty of warning so there is a lot of time to get to the hospital if that is the case.
But most births do go smoothly, and do not require intervention. Birth is as natural a process as breathing, it is what your body is designed to do so I don't think that there is anything to fear in attempting a home birth. There are def some situations that require a hospital/intervention, and I do think you have to keep an open mind that you may end up in hospital, but the chances are that will not happen. |
Posted By: first
Date Posted: 29 October 2010 at 9:38am
|
Thanks for your conitinued dialog. I spoke to my dr about the possibility yesterday as she was very supportive. My DH has said ultimately its my decision. I'm still very undecided and have a long time to make the decision although I do need to get onto booking a MW. I thought maybe I'd try find a midwife who would be happy to support me giving birth in either of my two prefered options (birthcare or home) and then maybe as time goes on i can firm up my decision.
For those that already had children when you had you home birth what did you do with you children? Were they around? Did they get frightened seeing/hearing mummy in pain? ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://pregnancy.baby-gaga.com/">
|
Posted By: newme
Date Posted: 29 October 2010 at 9:43am
|
I am planning on taking my 2 year old to stay with my brother. I think that he would get very frightened by what was going on, also he would require someone to look after him and I don't want anyone else there besides DH and the midwives.
However I know plenty of people that have had their children with them at a home birth and it worked really well for them. I guess it depends on you and your child. |
Posted By: HippyMama
Date Posted: 29 October 2010 at 12:02pm
My DD1 was 3 at the time and was totally unphased, but I think what was critical was having someone (or someones) ready to help keep her busy - I remember being mid contraction and she came in to the bedroom to ask if I could help put her fairy dress on  I fully had a plan that if neither she nor I was coping with her being around, then she'd just go out to the park for a bit (weather permitting) but otherwise I really wanted her there, to normalise birth (and homebirth) for her, especially if she has her own children one day.------------- Mama to two earth walkers & two angels. Remember, you are not managing an inconvenience; You are raising a human being. ~ Kittie Franz Next Slingbabies! Meet - Friday 4th May !! |
Posted By: T_Rex
Date Posted: 29 October 2010 at 1:55pm
|
Amme, who is your MW?
Lol Hippymama, I'm guessing you didn't help with the dress? That's one thing that I'm a bit lost on for #2 - I don't really want anyone else there but DH and I, but I don't really want to send DD away either. Oh well, plenty of time to think about it. For the record, I was one of those first births where things didn't go wrong and we transferred to hospital for way too much intervention  . We had plenty of time to get there because things went wrong slowly, but the flaw in our birth plan was that it said "if either us or the MW feel that we would be safer in hospital, we will transfer". Next time there is going to be much more discussion about what happens once we get to the hospital.------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
|
Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 29 October 2010 at 4:41pm
|
My daughter's dad and stepmum (just to use them as an example again) had her best friends there(, the kids Godparents ) when she had number three, they just played with the boys outside basically, I don't know if they even checked on mum lol, "mum...slide ...hmm , slide ! "
I couldn't have my kids with me, when im in labour I push through my pain by making a lot of noise and the kids would get scared. -------------
http://lilypie.com">
|
Posted By: HippyMama
Date Posted: 29 October 2010 at 4:56pm
No, I didn't end up helping with the dress. I think the best part of my birth in DD1's eyes was getting to swim in the birthing pool that wasn't *quite* ready in time for me to birth in LOL And according to her I mooed like a cow  ------------- Mama to two earth walkers & two angels. Remember, you are not managing an inconvenience; You are raising a human being. ~ Kittie Franz Next Slingbabies! Meet - Friday 4th May !! |
Posted By: amme_eilyk
Date Posted: 29 October 2010 at 6:20pm
|
lol hippy mama.
T-Rex my midwife is fiona mccrae from the midwife at the palms. she is really great and calm at dealing with things. the only thing is that she does not do a lot of home births, only 2 or 3 a year. But I completely trust her. |
Posted By: Emmi_
Date Posted: 29 October 2010 at 9:41pm
|
apparently a lot of 2nd (or more) labours start (and generally finish) when the kids are in bed asleep. Guess you would/could wake them if you made a lot of noise though...
I would like to have a homebirth next time, my (new) MW said she would support me in having a HBAC, but will need to convince DH ------------- 
+1 May 09 Angel 
|
Posted By: monster
Date Posted: 30 October 2010 at 12:41pm
|
My DH was fully supportive of home birth, so no problems there. We used a pool that our midwife lent us, so didn't have to pay for anything (we were given a spare unused liner).
My labour kicked off at night when my boy was asleep so we didn't need anyone to look after him. I'd planned for my mum to be around to look after him/take him away if needed as he was quite likely to get upset seeing me in labour, but didn't end up calling her until the next morning to tell her about the new baby. My boy woke up once - during the pushing stage - and DH went to him. He had no idea anything was going on and easily went back to sleep. DH was only away from me for a few minutes and one of the midwives took his place while he was gone. If I were you I'd look for a midwife with leanings towards homebirth, even if you decide to birth elsewhere. They should support your decision either way and have a wealth of experience to support you at home. Also, an advantage was that all of my midwife visits took place at my home, with my son fully included in the whole process. Good luck. -------------   
|
Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 30 October 2010 at 10:32pm
|
Both times my labours have kicked off at midday ! which would work if I went into labour on a school day and Ty was conveniently having a nap or something (thats if I wanted a homebirth ) -------------
http://lilypie.com">
|
Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 30 October 2010 at 11:03pm
|
My kids both kept "gentleman's hours". Pre-labour with DD started at 10am, active labour at 4pm and she was born at 8pm. Labour with DS started at 4:30am and he was born at 8:45am. Bit OT. Why doesn't your DH want a home/waterbirth? It may be worth considering his feelings in this too and maybe compromise or at the very least discuss and provide him with articles to alleviate his concerns. I don't have the option to have a home both because i have a bleeding disorder but I have thought about having a water birth however when i discussed it with DH he wasn't keen. For him seeing his baby crown is a very special moment and something he'd miss if i was in a pool. I didn't care enough about a water birth to take that away from him iykwim. I still had 2 natural, aneasthesia-free vbs and got 2 beautiful babies out of it and I spent a decent part of my labour in the bath both times so I got the pain relieving benefits during labour. -------------  
|
Emmi_ wrote:Posted By: 4thtymlucky
Date Posted: 31 October 2010 at 6:14pm
Wow, first of all CONGRATS on your impending new arrival and to all the other mums who are expecting ...second of all congrats on even considering a HB cos it really is the most wonderful experience ever Having gone through 2 emergency c-sections I just knew in my heart that I did not want to go back to hospital if I could help it. I'd made up my mind that my next baby would be a VBA2C AND an HB as well...I basically told hubby and my girls plus my parents that I would plan a HB. They were all quite dismissive and never imagined that I'd really go through with it..lol..but I had a birth team (my mum, my sister, my 2 SILs and my best friend) as well as hubby, our girls (15 and 9) and our MW (the best ever!)...Hubby knew how determined I was when he had to load up the birthpool (loaned to us for free from the MW) into the car and then set it up at home..lol..I went 10 days overdue, lost my plug at 5.30pm Xmas eve last year...then bubs was born at 4:54am Xmas morning. The best Xmas ever ...no pain relief and I actually put this down to having a supportive birth team, mw and atmosphere...I was at home where I felt most comfortable, no stress, no bright lights, no noise....my girls both fell asleep until about 20 mins before their baby brother was born..as it turned out I stood up in the pool to stretch my legs which were starting to cramp up and then ended up squishing bubs out!!...Hubby was so proud (he was in the pool with me) to catch his son with one hand and hold me up with the other, then we had skin to skin contact waiting for bubs cord to stop pulsating before Hubby cut the cord- his first time. It was truly awesome so now that we are due on Boxing day ( ) I'm so excited to do it all over again lol...but this time I won't forget the bubbly
|
Posted By: Sindy164651
Date Posted: 18 November 2014 at 7:42pm
| I think home birth is a fantastic and safe option for most women. Your LMC will let you know if there is any reason why it may be safer for you personally at hospital. I have used a birth pool in both my births and would not go without one. You could hire one to use for your time in labour at home, even if you do decide to go into hospital later on. If you are looking for a birth pool in Auckland, New Zealand you can find it at http://wondermum.co.nz" rel="nofollow - www.wondermum.co.nz or on facebook http://www.facebook.com/birthpoolhirenz" rel="nofollow - www.facebook.com/birthpoolhirenz |