Babywise!!! Anyone doing it?
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Topic: Babywise!!! Anyone doing it?
Posted By: Lillybetts
Subject: Babywise!!! Anyone doing it?
Date Posted: 01 November 2010 at 9:45am
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I got told about the book "Babywise" and have read it and like mostly what I see. Is there anyone else out there that has done it or currently doing it? Any tips? Any downfalls? etc.
Thanks :) ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com"> 
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Replies:
Posted By: ereynolds
Date Posted: 01 November 2010 at 10:38am
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Trying! It does make a lot of sense and a few of the concepts have really resonated with me.
The biggest thing we got from it was helping baby realise the difference between night and day. Seems to have worked so far as we have lovely 5-6 hour stretches at night. :) My SIL did babywise with both her kids and thought it was great too ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: weegee
Date Posted: 01 November 2010 at 11:17am
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eek feel free to take some little bits and pieces from it if it suits you but PLEASE don't follow the Babywise routine to the letter. It has been linked with infant dehydration and failure to thrive and is a recipe for disaster with your milk supply if you are breastfeeding.
Babies aren't setting out to manipulate you, they're just trying to communicate the best way they know how.
Sorry, off my soapbox now  ------------- 
Mum to JJ, 4 July 2008 & Addie, 28 July 2010 |
http://www.drmomma.org/2009/10/babywise.html - Peaceful Parenting wrote:Posted By: HippyMama
Date Posted: 01 November 2010 at 12:13pm
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All I can say is that I agree with every single thing weegee has said. Please take that book with a HUGE grain of salt. If you have the time you might also want to look at this website: http://www.ezzo.info/ - Evaluating Ezzo Programs ------------- Mama to two earth walkers & two angels. Remember, you are not managing an inconvenience; You are raising a human being. ~ Kittie Franz Next Slingbabies! Meet - Friday 4th May !! |
Posted By: ereynolds
Date Posted: 01 November 2010 at 12:47pm
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Wow thats so not how I read the book! I took it all as having a very flexible routine which you can adapt to suit your situation and didn't think it was extreme at all. Maybe I missed something?? ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Lillybetts
Date Posted: 01 November 2010 at 12:51pm
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Thanks guys. I will take care in my choices. I've heard good and bad things about the book from various people. Like I said, I 'mostly' like what I see in the book lol. I guess the main thing I took away from it, is encouraging a baby to self settle. As that can definitely help the baby and the parents in the long run. So putting a baby down happy, fed and contented, will heighten the chances of having a good sleep in the night. With the scheduling, i think i would have a flexible routine when the baby is at an appropriate age. ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com">
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Posted By: Lillybetts
Date Posted: 01 November 2010 at 12:53pm
Are there any tips you have? Anything I should be weary about while doing it? And how did you find going out? (like keeping to the wake - fed - play. Is it difficult to socialize?) Thanks :) ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com">
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Posted By: Lillybetts
Date Posted: 01 November 2010 at 1:17pm
I just read the whole web page. And it does seem questionable. When I first read Babywise, I did question the scripture he was using. And I felt some of it was out of context. But looked around it and just thought I would take what i wanted out of the book and not actually follow the plan to the tee. Is that a good idea do you think? ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com">
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Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 01 November 2010 at 1:28pm
The Scripture he uses has also been discredited - well, not the scripture, just how he uses it  He has been heavily criticised by a number of Christian parenting experts and pastors.
My approach with baby books is read around, take tips and hints and then work out what works for you AND your baby. Personally, I like the eat-play-sleep thing and that was the extent of my routine. I never found that an issue with going out (though I don't know how Ezzo says it should be done - I just fed, played and put him down). Dan had night and day sorted within about 10 days despite us not using Babywise. There's a lot of common sense information out there and I like books that give guidelines or suggestions, rather than rules. Babies are all unique and don't read the books. They don't follow rules and nor should they have to! ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: JadeC
Date Posted: 01 November 2010 at 1:31pm
I haven't read the book, but the biggest issue that I have is that Ezzo recommends physical punishment for babies, and that I find horrific 
http://www.ezzo.info/Aney/tulsakidspart2.pdf - This page from Ezzo.info says For children over 14 months old Ezzo recommends using a “chastisement tool,” which he defines as “a somewhat flexible instrument (that) stings without inflicting bone or muscle damage...” ------------- http://pregnancy.baby-gaga.com/" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: Lillybetts
Date Posted: 01 November 2010 at 1:36pm
Thanks for that. I think you're right about the rules. I was a bit dubious about the strictness. But I think taking what you think is best for your baby and you is the way to go. Thanks :) ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com">
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Posted By: crafty1
Date Posted: 01 November 2010 at 2:00pm
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Wow "chastisement tool?!!!". What a crazy concept that is, totally 19th century. I got given his book with DS1 and read it and never read about the chastisement tool. I found that like others have said he had some good advice but that his approach was a bit too paternalistic and strict really.
I'm not sure what i took from it that i didn't get from other books i also was given - Baby Whisperer - quite a different approach. I think i found something in the middle of these 2 which worked for us. Some people must have really followed that book beyond common sense to end up with dehydrated babies and FTT! Those bubs must have been making their needs known quite loudly surely? ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: nicandtyler
Date Posted: 01 November 2010 at 3:36pm
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I would have to agree with HippyMamma and weegee, and do check out the link on Ezzo - it's a bit frightening ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
 April '11
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Posted By: lisa85
Date Posted: 01 November 2010 at 5:13pm
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I loved the book but didn't follow it to the letter I just took bit's that were realitive to me. I didn't even notice any scripture in there. I just took the basic info on schedules and the chapter on twins on board. Obviously with twins I needed a strict routine just to survive that first year It helped that I was formula feeding from 6 weeks so it was easier for me to follow the strict routine aspect :) We had our twins sleeping through from 9 weeks old and I put it all down to the routine we formed from babywise. But I do understand how it may not be quite as easy to follow and stick to if breast feeding.
I never thought any part of the book was extreme or cruel or anything like that. I found it to be the easiest to follow and most helpful parenting book I have come across. Due to the techniques we took from it our kids have slept peacefully through the night for the last 2 years. I never knew all that stuff about Ezzo and his disciplining techniques. Sounds like terrible stuff. Guess I won't be looking to him for discipline advice lol. At the end of the day it's just a book. You can take from it what you like. I like to think we all have enough comman sense these days not to starve our young babies to the point of dehydration. We all parent differently so who's to say which is the best way. If your the type of person that is naturally inclined to schedule and plan than this book is probably for you. -------------  
TTC #3 since Jan 2010 - PCOS MC April 2010 |
Posted By: lisa85
Date Posted: 01 November 2010 at 5:16pm
For the first year we were pretty strict about being home during nap & bedtimes which didn't leave much room for a huge social life. We used to just make people come to us 90% of the time lol -------------
TTC #3 since Jan 2010 - PCOS MC April 2010 |
Posted By: JadeC
Date Posted: 01 November 2010 at 6:26pm
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I think the wake-feed-play/ feed - play - sleep is a fairly universal concept, I learnt it at plunket, and then heard it from Sharlene Poole, so I don't think you can go wrong with that.
I'm still trying to work out the logistics of following that and going out - so far I'm trying to head out when he's ready to go down, hoping that he'll sleep in the stroller/carrier/car seat. I tried doing Sharlene Poole's routine with allocated times for feeds etc, but that felt to constrictive to me. ------------- http://pregnancy.baby-gaga.com/" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Nutella
Date Posted: 01 November 2010 at 10:42pm
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I find it surprising how many books there are out there.....I have to admit I haven't read a single one, flicked through a few pages here and there but so can't be bothered....I actually find the ideas on here are so much better lol....can ask for advice and get ten different alternatives, one of which will surely work after testing... ------------- 
 Oct 11
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 01 November 2010 at 10:50pm
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Same here Nutella!
The only book Ive read is my NZ Pregnancy book, and everything else Ive learnt from my mum, common sense, and on here! ------------- |
Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 01 November 2010 at 11:19pm
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Ditto to Sheza and Nutella ------------- 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: WestiesGirl
Date Posted: 01 November 2010 at 11:20pm
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I read some of the book. It didnt interest me much TBH. The only thing I took away from it was feed play sleep. ------------- Our Angel July 08 Gone but not forgotten
And to complete our family, our princess has arrived 
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Posted By: MuppetsMama
Date Posted: 02 November 2010 at 7:34am
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We do babywise and find it excellent - my DD slept through the night at 6 weeks, and we were constantly getting comments on what a contended baby she was.
Weegee - The references you quote obviously didn't read the book! Lol  He makes a big deal about the fact that the routine is based on Clock + Hunger Cue + Parental Assessment. So in other words, if a hunger cue is present, then FEED your baby!! He actually says that strict routine feeding is not a good idea. The whole point is, in a nutshell, that you try to get your baby to have a full feed at every feed (not snack feeds), and baby should be feeding about every 2&1/2 to 3 hours (from the top of the last feed), BUT if your baby is hungry before then, then you feed them! You just try to work out WHY they are hungry early - are they having a growth spurt, did they get woken up early, did they have a full feed last time etc etc. He also says that if they are sleeping too long (eg. in the case of newborns/prems/jaundice babies) then wake them to feed them, don't let them sleep too long without a feed and get dehydrated!
The whole idea with the 'flexible routine' is that is it basically feed-wake-sleep, and that it is easy to have a life at the same time - at one point he says that if Grandma wants to get baby up for a cuddle even though it is not wake time, let her - the odd once or twice is not going to hurt, and babies are only babies for such a short time; let the rellies enjoy them! Babywise is basically common sense parenting, and I recommend you give it a go
ps. regarding the punishment thing, again, the whole book should be read and not just a paragraph or two 
oh and, I breastfed my DD and am BF my 2 week old baby girl now, so it works with BF too 
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Posted By: JadeC
Date Posted: 02 November 2010 at 10:18am
How would reading the whole book change the fact that it's written by someone who believes in hitting babies with a stick?? ------------- http://pregnancy.baby-gaga.com/" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Marengo
Date Posted: 02 November 2010 at 12:38pm
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tbh when i read that page it sounds like he is training children like dogs, but ive not read the book and ive not had my baby yet so just basing my comment on that one page that i have read!
should we not know our babies cues enough to enable them not to have to sign their needs?? i dunno i'm not sure about that either, have not read anything about it at all. interesting read.. it seems people just dont have enough confidence in themselves to be good parents? isnt self confidence the best tool in parenting? just rhetorical questions as i'm not yet an active parent and have not read many books on parenting.. i'm probably not qualified to comment at all! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
Our angel Ella Louise born 13.04.
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 02 November 2010 at 2:01pm
babies sleeping through the night though is purely personality IMO. I would certainly hope that no one is actively trying to make a 6 week old sleep through the night. i never read any books about how to parent a baby. their needs are pretty basic to start with anyway. animals dont need any help, they know that all a baby really needs is to be secure and warm, milk and sleep (i have been watching my cat with her new kittens recently and pondering this myself lately). ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: MuppetsMama
Date Posted: 02 November 2010 at 2:11pm
Of course not! She did it naturally. And yes, personality does play a part. This just seems to be a general result of babywise and I was simply sharing our experience with it. ETA: And I think I had better point out, before my post is misconstrued, that we do not hit our children with sticks, and would never do so!!! |
Posted By: nicandtyler
Date Posted: 02 November 2010 at 2:39pm
I would have to agree with you Marengo you seem pretty spot on, the most important thing is confidence, and the best advice I ever received was to listen to my natural instinct, i haven't read any parenting books as so many of them seem to go against everything natural (to me anyway) for instance CIO and scheduled feedings . And like Bizzy says about being warm, secure have lots and lots of cuddles and milk and sleep You don't need a book to tell you that IMO ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
April '11
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Posted By: ereynolds
Date Posted: 02 November 2010 at 2:56pm
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I personally found reading books really helpful. There were some things (concepts, tips etc) in Babywise and also other books that I hadn't known about before reading them. I felt so lost when I had DS so being able to refer to something- even if I didnt agree with everything in the book/s- was a lifesaver.
I suppose it really comes down to whatever works for you as an individual. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Kalimirella
Date Posted: 02 November 2010 at 10:49pm
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Hmm I think I read some of it but disagreed with the tone of the book so didn't get it out of the library to finish reading it.
I read a lot of parenting books but more just for information in the back of my head. I use whatever I want out of the books or nothing out of any of them. She is my baby, we will work out our own "routine". I agree, being a confident "natural" parent, or appearing so and doing what works for you and your baby will be the greatest gift you can give your children. ------------- Kiara is 3 and Teagan is 2, now we're expecting our long awaited 3rd! http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 03 November 2010 at 8:54am
Same here, and I agree. ------------- |
Posted By: JadeC
Date Posted: 03 November 2010 at 9:18am
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I dunno, I think there is so much pressure to get everything right that it makes sense people will want to hear from others who have been there/ know what they are talking about. ------------- http://pregnancy.baby-gaga.com/" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: myonlineself
Date Posted: 03 November 2010 at 3:15pm
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I think I would have been far better off if I hadn't read so many books and stressed about trying to do it right, my baby didn't 'conform' to the books - no way would she go 3 hours between feeds... I wasn't going to force her to fit so I just went with what she wanted and she was completely happy, but I felt like I was doing everything wrong! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: nicandtyler
Date Posted: 03 November 2010 at 4:04pm
myonlineself - I think that's the biggest problem with a lot of the baby books out there, every single baby is different in absolutely every way, so I just don't see how a baby could fit into a one size fits all category, it just causes unnecessary stress on parents  ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
April '11
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Posted By: crafty1
Date Posted: 03 November 2010 at 6:36pm
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Man i wish any of my babies had slept through the night at 6 weeks...sigh...
I think that's kind of the thing with books and their routines. They will somewhat help the parents of the 80% of babies in the middle sleepwise, 10% of babies would be perfect sleepers regardless of which routine and the other 10% none of the books will make a jot of difference! I have one of the last 10%. Beyond help. still green with envy. Marengo - tis not always easy to know what your baby is trying to tell you unfortunately. Sometimes the little buggers are just screaming anyway and who knows why or what for. I call it the rage scream, and it is the reason we are having NO MORE BABIES!! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Nutella
Date Posted: 04 November 2010 at 1:02am
Agree! Especially if the book has been recommended by a friend who had marvellous success with it lol....some poor first time mums our there must feel like such failures. How do guys go with books? Coz seriously they are so useless with following instructions right haha, how could they possibly manage to follow a whole book worth of instructions tee hee. -------------
Oct 11
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Posted By: luckystar
Date Posted: 05 November 2010 at 12:32pm
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IMO the usefullness of books and routines just depends on the parents personalities. Some people will obviously prefer to go with the flow and follow baby's cues, but many parents find self confidence from knowing they are widely-read and aware of a more clock orientated routine for baby's day.
I did read Babywise 1, and took away some helpful pointers, even though it was a bit old school and American in parts. I think the "parental assessment" aspect of babywise is the key point being missed by some readers. Obviously FTT and dehydration are totally NOT ok outcomes from adhering to an overly strict routine. Checked out the link re chastisement, and I am utterly shocked and apalled by the Ezzo stuff from Babywise book 2 and so on. HOW can he really believe it's ok to manage an infants behaviour in those ways. Not just the smaking, but the horrible punishments being recommended!!!! OMG is all i can say. I will certainly never be recomending babywise 1 to anyone else in the future, cos he should be locked up for all the other crap advice he's giving. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   
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Posted By: nicandtyler
Date Posted: 05 November 2010 at 4:29pm
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For the OP this is just a link about Babywise and the negative impacts it has on breastfeeding (it is very anti-babywise just to let you know) so if you were still interested in some more information on Babywise this is a really good website. Not putting this link to offend, just one point of view http://www.drmomma.org/2009/12/babywise-linked-to-babies-dehydration.html - babywise link to dehydration ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
April '11
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Posted By: JD
Date Posted: 06 November 2010 at 10:46am
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My sil used babywise and has always had very contented, good sleeper and a structured routine. My sister tried to use it and it just didn't work for her.
My advise would be to aim for a self-settling baby that has the sleep-feed-play routine as this seems to be the best routine to encourage baby to have proper feeds and learn to self settle. The reason I say "aim" for this is that ultimately IMO the best outcome is a happy baby and a happy mummy however you get there. I have had 3 kids and done things a bit differently with each one. I think if you look in to one style of parenting they are all a bit extreem in their own way. Take the advice and pointers that you like from each and come up with your own style. In the end all kids go to school walking, talking, toilet trained and generally happy. I don't think it matters how you get there, so long as you can enjoy the journey with your baby. I found by trying to follow a certain style or rule of parenting it caused me to stress out that I was doing it wrong. You are going to be the mother and therefore you will do what you think is best for your baby. If you try to stick with babywise and end up having a baby with colic or reflux or something, it may just put more pressure on you that you dont need. A mothers instinct is absolutely real and I beleive a God given gift to mothers to help them. It doesn't stop at babies...you will find it kicking in when a doctor tells you nothing is wrong when you just know it is. There are lots of stories of mothers persisting to get the answers they need for their children. Trust it! Parenting can be difficult and tiring even with the best of babies...don't put extra pressure on yourself by trying to follow "rules". If you want to feed baby to sleep then do it, if you want to sleep with baby then do it, if you cant stand bf and using a bottle helps you to bond better that do it! My sil who uses the babywise has very good routines, but she is also happy to be at home for nap times in order for this to work. I have a friend who uses attachment parenting and feeds her baby to sleep, co-sleeps etc and her style works for her. Do whatever suits your lifestyle and keeps your family happy. I think the one of the biggest traps parents fall into is letting their baby get overtired. No matter what style of parenting you use, a overtired baby is hard to settle. Keep an eye on the clock and even if they don't seem tired, don't let them stay up to long and you will probably find they will leart to self-settle quickly. Sorry, this is a bit of a ramble....but I have one more thing... Find someone who you trust and use them as your main source of advice. I used my mum since she had had 7 kids who were all quite different so she had alot of tricks to share. You might just have a friend or neighbour who has had a few kids. There is so much different information and people who will tell you what you should be doing..it gets confusing to try and listen to them all. if you do end up striking an issue, then plunket or parent centre will have someone who can help in that area. Good luck and enjoy each moment
when I had my first at 18, one of my mottos was **she cant cry forever, she has to sleep sometime** ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Speck8
Date Posted: 06 November 2010 at 5:31pm
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The problem with your gut instinct or natural instinct (whatever you want to call it) is that many mums (myself included) NEVER had that! Or if they did it was covered up by layer upon layer upon layer of self doubt that you'd need to spend an eternity sifting through the self doubt to get to it!
So in that respect, I wish I'd read books, any book! Cos I read NOTHING prior to DS being born and just trusted that everything would fall into place and I'd instinctively know what to do - instead I was so completely clueless I'd trust the homeless guy on the street with my baby more than I trusted myself. Of course I had a very challenging, undiagnosed silent reflux, non-stop screaming baby for the first 5 weeks so that probably didn't help! Now (6 months later) - I'm the research queen. Some things I read resonate well with me and others don't. Before I have baby #2 I will definitely be reading up big time to refresh my memory. I've never read Babywise but before #2 I certainly might just to see what it's all about. |
Posted By: JD
Date Posted: 06 November 2010 at 8:01pm
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I understand what you're saying Speck8....
What I mean is....if it doesn't feel or sit right with you then dont do it and visa/versa. There are alot of great help books out there which is great,...I just don't think any of them should be taken as law (so to speak). It must have been very hard for you to deal with silent reflux on your your first time as a mum. Im pleased it hasent put you off having more. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Babe
Date Posted: 07 November 2010 at 10:39am
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I used it with both my kids and it was brilliant. I have all the books, I recommend them to everyone I know. I followed the advice as much to the letter as you can with those books and by that I mean they have a strong focus on understanding the individuality of your child. I watched my babies, followed the books advice, learnt how my babies ticked and because of the routine I found it very easy to work out what they needed. My boys were quite different in their sleeping habits and feeding requirements but I found the babywise routine fitted well with them regardless.
I have also read alot of the negative stuff including the dehydration stories and coming from someone who has actually followed the book I have to say I put the blame for those results directly on the parent. I also haven't read anything relating to discipline that is over-the-top so not sure what you're talking about there. There is a brilliant blog that I recommend called http://www.babywisemom.com/ - Babywise Mom with quick-access answers to any questions. I've read alot of baby books and this along with Diane Levy is the best by far. -------------   
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Posted By: Hopes
Date Posted: 29 December 2010 at 2:08pm
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Well, I've just read it from cover to cover, and my basic assessment is as follows:
1 - it made me feel like a really useless parent. There's a huge focus on the fact that there's no 'good' baby, and that any baby can be the happy contented bubbling little 'babywise' baby unless you're stuffing them up. So basically, the fact Jakey's not following the nice three/four - hourly routine thing is my fault. Now I'm prepared to believe there's a good element of truth in that, but not to the degree they push it, and if that's the case I'd like some advice to change it, which leads me to point two... 2 - there's not a heck of a lot of advice in there if your kid doesn't fit the mould and conform nicely to the sleeping / waking / feeding schedule they've laid out. I mean, they talk about leaving them to grizzle before they go to sleep for a nap. That's cool, I have no particular issues with that if it's going to help. The book talks about the fact that a baby 'might cry for up to 20 minutes' before going to sleep, or that parents 'might be shocked to hear that a seemingly endless bout of screaming only lasted all of five to ten minutes'. I'm dealing with a baby who will howl for an hour and a half (yes, in desperation I have tried it) or lie in bed grizzling his little head off for two hours. By that time, apparently, he's meant to be having his next feed! And despite the fact the book mentions that lots of babies wake at 45 mins, it never offers a suggestion that I can find about what to do with them at that point... So as of the moment, I'm not a fan! -------------   
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Posted By: Hopes
Date Posted: 30 December 2010 at 7:48am
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Oh, but in it's defense, people who let their babies get too hungry / dehydrated obviously haven't read the book well... it specifically says that "hunger is ALWAYS a good reason to feed more frequently".
I still don't like it much though. Some of the basic principals are good, but I've heard them from plenty of other places and I don't like the tone of the book or find it particularly helpful dealing with babies who don't automatically do as they 'should'. -------------
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