Disturbing, or just stuff kids do?
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36519
Printed Date: 19 May 2025 at 12:45pm
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Disturbing, or just stuff kids do?
Posted By: pepsi
Subject: Disturbing, or just stuff kids do?
Date Posted: 02 November 2010 at 10:35pm
|
Something that was bothering me all day... I don't know if I'm overracting by thinking it's a bit disturbing..but let me explain....
When dropping my eldest off at kindy today, one of the other 4 year old girls wanted to show me the anatomically correct boy doll, and was giggling at the fact it was naked. Then, she said "hey look", and proceeded to pretend to put the toy willy in her mouth and indicated she was drinking/sucking. She brought it over to me and said "you do it" and I just said "no, that's yucky" (sh*t, I didn't know what else to say, I was a bit shocked).. Anyway she tried to get my daughter to do it and I again reiterated it was yucky and shook my head. Then she walked around talking to the baby toy and said "yuck, you did wees on me now".. so I know she knew what that part of the body was for. I just don't know why she would even think of that kind of play? Anyway, this has been on my mind, the fact that I have no idea where a child that age would think of something like that. Is it just stuff kids decide to do on their own, or is it something they are exposed to? What are you opinions? |
Replies:
Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 02 November 2010 at 10:45pm
|
Gosh!! Ummmm yeah I'd be shocked too!! maybe talk to the head teacher about it. ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com"> 
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 02 November 2010 at 10:48pm
|
hmmm well it could be either.... if the child has the sort of mind that can make leaps in thought if she had seen other stuff put in mouths ...
then again some kids only really do behaviours they have previously seen... so it might be plausible if they had seen a porno unwittingly... or even an episode of OF ! something as weird as that though i would be inclined to mention it to the head teacher in case they need to keep an eye on the child. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
|
Posted By: catisla
Date Posted: 02 November 2010 at 10:48pm
|
Difficult one - i think that poos and wees can be a great source of amusement to children of that age, and the idea of eating or drinking them must be funny in a "urgh that's horrid" joke kind of way.
did she say anything else to explain her "joke?" May be worth mentioning it to one of the carers that one of the kids was doing that to the doll and they may decide to keep an eye on the kind of play that goes on. ------------- |
Posted By: pepsi
Date Posted: 02 November 2010 at 10:57pm
|
She didn't really say anything else outside of what I mentioned. It was just so weird though.. and her mum had literally just left the kindy before it happened and had made a comment to me about how she was relieved her daughter hadn't asked any questions upon seeing a boys bits (on the doll).. As if jokingly, she didn't want to talk about that kind of thing..
I don't know.. it just really shocked me. I hadn't thought of mentioning it to one of the teachers, but I think I will anyway. I would feel weird saying anything to the mother of course, but yeah, at the same time I don't like that she tried to involve my child in that kind of play. Alyssa laughs at farts and that's about a out there as she would get! |
Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 02 November 2010 at 11:09pm
personally, I don't think its very normal....I may be overreacting but I think its best you have a word to the teachers  ------------- 
http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: mrsturtle
Date Posted: 02 November 2010 at 11:09pm
|
Holy heck they are learning young!
Id be saying something to the teacher. I think im one of those parents who would encourage my child to stare clear of that child gosh imagine what else she knows |
Posted By: caraMel
Date Posted: 02 November 2010 at 11:12pm
|
Yikes, I would find that quite disturbing!
I guess it could just be an innocent, funny thing she thought - maybe it reminded her of a teapot spout or something weird like that? I think mentioning it to a teacher is a good thing to do, even if it was completely innocent and imaginative the teachers will be able to redirect her if she's encouraging other kids into that kind of behaviour. ------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and: 
|
Posted By: tictacjunkie
Date Posted: 02 November 2010 at 11:13pm
| Hmmm, that's not something I've come across before! She could just be very imaginative, or maybe she's seen one of those water fountains in a garden? Either way I would definitely mention it to a teacher, just in case that sort of play upsets other kids who may have had "bad experiences". And the teachers will (hopefully) have ideas/training on how to address that appropriately. |
Posted By: Hopes
Date Posted: 03 November 2010 at 2:56am
|
I'd mention it without a doubt. I really think you should. One of the signs of sexual abuse is knowing things that at their age, they shouldn't know. That absolutely doesn't necessarily mean that this kid's been abused - there could be a reason like some that have been mentioned for her behaviour. But her carers should know about it, so that they can match it up with any other worrying signs just in case there's any problem. Sadly, child abuse is so common, it's so sad you have to think about things like it but you do. -------------   
|
Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 03 November 2010 at 7:24am
|
I would absolutely say something to the head teacher at the very least...and TBH risky as it might be, I'd also say something to her parents. And I would keep saying something until someone listened I think that action the wee girl did goes beyond just playing with the poos and wees idea. -------------   http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
|
Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 03 November 2010 at 9:25am
|
Its hard to know if its just silly innocent play or not. Like most 4 yr olds, Isla thinks poo, wees and farts are halerious! She's not done it lately, but for a while the answer to heaps of Q's was " haha poos!,hahha". Eg - "Isla, what would u like to eat?", her -"POOs!! hahaha".
If it was me , I woul mention it to a teacher, but I wouldnt say anything to the parent. |
Posted By: luvmylittlies
Date Posted: 03 November 2010 at 9:44am
|
My initial response was complete horror. But I can also imagine this scenario; gets new doll, just playing curiously ends up chewing/sucking on boy bits, mum chucks a complete spazz at this and precocious kid finds this a wonderful reaction so she's invented a game around it where she does this in front of other people to see what reaction she gets.
But I agree with the others that it'd be worth mentioning to someone at the kindy to keep an eye on things because even with that innocent explanation I can imagine not wanting my child playing with her if she's going to carry on like that. ------------- Adoring Mum to Talisin 8/9/11 and Kiara 18/01/10 |
Posted By: My3Sons
Date Posted: 03 November 2010 at 9:45am
|
I agree with Kelz, I would mention it to the teacher but not the parents. Sounds like strange behaviour to me! ------------- Mum to Mr 10, Mr 6 and Mr 4 
 
|
Posted By: freckle
Date Posted: 03 November 2010 at 9:52am
|
I agree I'd tell the teachers... I think it is there place to talk to the parents and would definitely leave that to them! It could be a very uncomfortable situation for the parents having other parents talking to them about it...
I do agree it sounds like unusual behaviour - and I have been racking my brain to remember where I have heard of this happening before (cos I have) but my memory is stuffed ...------------- mum to 3 lovely girls :D |
Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 03 November 2010 at 9:53am
|
I disagree. edited to add- obviously you would tell the parent in a tactful way and in private...maybe not make a big deal of it, just mention you saw the behaviour. You don't want to make a mountain out of a molehill and in some ways, going to the teacher first would almost be going behind the parents back iykwim? What if the teacher just decides for her/himself that the behaviour is innocent or whatever and the parent never gets to know cos the boat wasn't rocked??? ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
|
Posted By: pepsi
Date Posted: 03 November 2010 at 9:55am
|
Thanks for all the advice ladies. I swear it played on my mind all day and night yesterday..
Anyway, I went and spoke to the head teacher while I was at kindy this morning, and she thanked me for bringing it to her attention. She said it will be recorded in their files and that they will keep an eye out to see if there is any other stuff like this happening with that child. She said in the time that the girl has been there they haven't seen anything like this from her before. Also mentioned she may talk to the parent and will keep my input anonymous. She said that sex play is common in this age group, but not as specific as what the child did.. so she also thought it was really weird and disturbing. So yeah, all in all I feel relieved to have said something, and happy that they took it on board without necessarily jumping to conclusions. |
Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 03 November 2010 at 10:02am
I know where I've heard of this before, a girl on my street did the same thing when she was 4 except she got a sausage and said it was a penis and put it in her mouth and laughed and I was 6 at the time and thought she was weird and gross , I didn't even know what a penis was....it came out when she was 10 that her father had been sexually abusing her since she was 3. And I know C has somewhat of an idea of what sex is, but it would never occur to her that people would put penis's in their mouth. -------------
http://lilypie.com">
|
freckle wrote:Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 03 November 2010 at 11:25am
|
I personally think it's not soooo dodgy right now but it is good they are keeping an eye on it. I can imagine a 4 year old thinking it was funny that something gross like wees in her mouth would be funny. Like Kellz my two think it is hilarious when we say something is poos or they think they will eat poos. So for just a one off thing I think it is nothing too significant but if it is a constant thing I would be more worried.
|
Posted By: crafty1
Date Posted: 03 November 2010 at 2:16pm
|
Eeek what a tough situation. Yep i think i would have been quite grossed out by seeing that.
thesaff - i used to nanny a boy who knew it was a great way to get lots pf attention to ask people for a kiss goodbye and then he'd stick his tongue in their mouth! Totally freaked me out when he did it to me the first time i met him. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
|
Posted By: VioletStar
Date Posted: 03 November 2010 at 2:45pm
Well said Hopes. That is exactly my thinking, but I work in this field so it kind of rang little alarm bells reading the OP. ------------- Formerly Wishin41 |