I'm feeling really, really exhausted right now, and most days I don't get to accomplished much housework wise.  I'm just too tired to be bothered and I HATE doing it.  I know it's MY family's mess but I wish someone else could come and clean it up for me.

Every morning I do the washing and the dishes and that takes quite a bit of time to do.  I'll do a general tidy of toys around the living areas, and every few days will vacumn too.  But then the rest of the house isn't tidied up, beds aren't made (I've never been one to worry about that), kids rooms aren't tidied.  If I have someone coming over I'll do a better clean up with wiping coffee tables and making everything spotless, but I haven't been inviting people over lately cos I don't want to have to do that!

How do you all manage keeping your house tidy/clean?  Or am I stressing about it for no reason.  I hate living in untidyness, but am not in the mood to be tidying ALL day long when I'll have to do all over again the next day.

Also, I do get the kids to tidy their rooms, but most of the time it's an effort to get them to even do it, and they trash it all over again the next day. 

Do I need to let go of caring about having tidy house?  I feel SO much better when the house is clean and I more relaxed.  Right now I'm angry at seeing the mess and I tend to get angry at the kids for making it so messy.

I've done this SAHM thing for 7 years now and I'm at an all time low with the work involved in caring for 4 children and the house.

Dh's answer to me being so tired is to go to bed earlier.  I head to bed about 9pm most nights, but don't get to sleep til 9:30/10pm.  Most nights I'm woken by mostly Ava, but sometimes it might be one of the other children.  Then Ava is awake for the day about 5:30/6am.  Way too early for my liking but it's been like this for months.

Jazzy, today I've done 2 loads of dishes and there is still another load to do (result of not keeping up with the dishes yesterday) and I've baked.  Ava's not had long sleeps today so she takes up my time when she's awake.  Haven't even done any washing since it rained this morning.

I do have AF at the moment and that tends to make me feel even more tired than I already am, but I have thought for ages now that I can't shake feeling tired all the time.  I get a bit of 2nd wind in the early evening some days and then I want to tackle the whole house, but at that same time I've got to do dinner, bath the kids and then put them to bed which takes all evening then I just want to relax and unwind even though there's dishes to be done from dinner.

I hate this groundhog day thing with being a SAHM, well mostly, I hate the housework that goes with having a young family.

I just told R when we got home from school that after he'd had a snack, he had to clean up his room, and he got all angry over it and I hate how he reacts like that and I get all anxious over having to make him clean up his room.. he complains that the other kids messed it up so they should clean it.  Gah, frustrating!

Good advice clover.  Dh always tells me I need routines and I guess I really need the kids to pull finger more!  I do have a routine... but it doesn't involve getting the kids to do things at the same time everyday (i.e. making their beds in the morning, cleaning their rooms every afternoon).

But I will implement a chore list for the kids as I know it will help me out, and then hopefully things won't get on top of me. 

I used to do a lot of chores as a kid (one of 4 children also) and I feel I've done things for the kids for too long and they are definitely old enough to be doing a lot more.

TheKelly wrote: So now,if she complains , I give her a choice ...either clean it up, or move in with her brother, or put all the toys that she clearly doesn't care about, into a rubbish bag so they can be given to kids that will actually appreciate them. She always ends up cleaning her room

I've said this to Rico before, and he always calls my bluff and goes and puts the toys in the rubbish!!  And it's always the expensive toy too, or one he's been given by a grandparent, so I have to go and fish it out.  If it wasn't meaningful, I'd quite happily let me just put it in the rubbish.

I had a housecleaner once a week for many years so the bathrooms/dusting/whole house vacumned would always get done, but I haven't had one in a few months now and I guess that 'once a week decent clean' isn't happening and I'm not liking it.

Since Ava's been crawling she picks up EVERY tiny piece of fluff/paper/crumb and so I have to vacumn about once a day.  I don't mind if she picks up crumbs, but most of the time I don't know what she's got in her mouth as I wouldn't have seen what she picked up so I have to fish it out incase it's something she shouldn't be swallowing.  So it's best i just vacumn to keep the floor clean.  So hard when 3 other children are messing it up.

Dh doesn't do washing, R and him are so bad they take their clothes off in front of the laundry basket, and leave it on the floor!  Grr so typically lazy and makes me mad!  I would LOVE for my room to at least be kept clean, but Dh is messy person and it doesn't take long before he's messed it up again. 

my4beauties wrote: TheKelly wrote: So now,if she complains , I give her a choice ...either clean it up, or move in with her brother, or put all the toys that she clearly doesn't care about, into a rubbish bag so they can be given to kids that will actually appreciate them. She always ends up cleaning her room   I've said this to Rico before, and he always calls my bluff and goes and puts the toys in the rubbish!!  And it's always the expensive toy too, or one he's been given by a grandparent, so I have to go and fish it out.  If it wasn't meaningful, I'd quite happily let me just put it in the rubbish.   I

I would stick them in a black bin bag and lock them away in the garage / shed. He will only call your bluff for so long before he realises that he doesnt have anything cool to play with anymore!

I have to confess I get frustrated with DH coming home from work and dumping stuff on the bench, table, bed.....it drives me nuts! But I cant complain about housework, as I am really really really lucky to have a cleaning lady that comes once a week and she does a wonderful job...even helping with my washing! I struggle at the moment to stretch up and reach the washing line, so often leave the washing for DH to get in on an evening. Apart from emptying the dishwasher when i ask him to, he doesnt do anything else around the house though.

Dh cooks mostly on the weekends, and if he's not too busy with work and is home early enough or been at home doing work through the day then he cooks.  I would say I do 70% of the cooking (at the moment, less than that when he hasn't got much work on) but other than cooking and helping with the kids, he doesn't do the housework.  Maybe once on the weekend he'll do the dishes.

But cooking dinner is such a minute part of the daily chores.  If he cooks, I'm bringing washing in/folding washing, bathing the kids, feeding Ava.  And I always have to do the dishes.  If I cook he might be looking after the kids which is a big help in keeping them out from under my feet, but then I still do the dishes, washing etc.

When I had a housecleaner once a week, i didn't notice what Dh did to help, but now I don't have one I'm noticing the lack of help.  I don't expect help when he's full on with work, but I'm starting to think that maybe on the weekend he needs to help more especially with cleaning bathrooms, vacumning.

I actually feel 100 times better for starting this thread, and hearing back from you guys - your tips and pointers and that you feel the same.  I've done a big clean up this afternoon, and feel more in control! 

Seriously girls, you're making me feel so much better!  Just knowing you all struggle with this too and I'm not the only one who feels this way.  I don't mind cleaning so much, it's just having to do it over and over again, the same thing everyday.  My house is so very tidy right now, but I KNOW I'll have to do it all again tomorrow (well dishes and washing anyway) *sigh* such is life.

Rach, good on you for getting a housecleaner!!  It's such a relief isn't it.  And I like the bin idea.

I'm going to give the kids a reward at the end of each week, if they do their chores everyday, haven't decided yet though what it'll be.

Oh i know exactly how you feel . the housework overwhelms me at times and i only have one child ( plus my partners daughter half the time )  i work till 8pm mon , wed , and half day friday so i find it very hard making time for housework , i spend majority of my days off ( tues and thursdays ) doing jobs around the house, baking and running errinds , i find it VERY difficult to get housework done when DD is awake so i make sure i do it during her 2 hr nap , i dont know how i will cope when she grows out of that . I must admit tho my DP is a great help with the housework , on the nights i work till 8pm i always come home to a clean house , sleeping , bathed baby , and a cooked dinner ( and he also works all day 8-5pm, 5days a week). I like to keep the lounge, dining room and kitchen/bathroom clean and tidy but im not too fussed on my bedroom or kids bedrooms , they arnt a pigsty but there certinly not clean and tidy .  the rubbish, garden and lawns is DP's area , i tend not to do much there , just the odd bit of weeding and watering of the garden.

 i do have days where i just stare at it and hope it will just go away esspecially the washing!!!! its never ending .

The jobs chart I started for the kids on Monday is going well so far.  The kids know what they have to do now and because it's 'on the chart' there is no arguements about having to do it.  Of course it's only easy things like make their bed in the morning and tidy their room, and they have 3 days a week each (alternate days) in which they have to empty the dishwasher after school.  That way it feels like one of them is having a 'break day'.

I have definitely lowered my expectations of having a clean house since the kids came along, and I like the quotes you mentioned, Ann.  The kids live here too and I don't want to feel like people can't come to my house and relax, like when I go to my sister's place i freak out if the kids drop a crumb cos she's so uptight about mess.  I don't care anymore if kids come over and drop food crumbs, I just know I'll be vacumning after they leave and that's fine.

my4beauties wrote: I do have AF at the moment and that tends to make me feel even more tired than I already am, but I have thought for ages now that I can't shake feeling tired all the time.

Can't remember when our entire house was last under control ... gave up that dream a couple of years back  .

Just wanted to say, I live on Floradix at the moment (the liquid one) ... have 10mls every night and it takes the edge off my eternal tiredness.  You can get it at the supermarket - perhaps you could give that a try?

How does it taste, Kakapo?  I'll buy some next shop and give it go.

Doesn't help though, that kids keep me awake at night.  Last night Ava woke twice and Gia came in 3 times saying she had bad dreams.  And I have such a busy day today, I seem to never catch a break!

Hmmm, maybe not exactly yummy Sheza , but definitely much nicer than some of those disgusting herbal remedies I've tried before .  I like the liquid stuff because it's quickly and easily absorbed by your body.

hehe, yes I guess less time on the net means more time getting those jobs done.  Haha, just need to get motivation really!  I've got a huge pile of washing to fold, but that's tomorrow's job, don't need to be anywhere tomorrow so will get onto that then. 

I just find there's not enough hours in the day to do everything!

Thanks bluebird, will check it out!  Love the CHAOS too!