How old is too old to be pregnant?
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36995
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Topic: How old is too old to be pregnant?
Posted By: mrswho
Subject: How old is too old to be pregnant?
Date Posted: 06 December 2010 at 2:06pm
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Would love some thoughts, I know as long as youre healthy age shouldn't matter, but long term when the kids are older, would love some thoughts on all the pro's and con's.
I am about to turn 38, and have just had my third bub's who I am enjoying more than ever, my other two kids are at school. I've been thinking I could do this all again but am worried about the 'down the track' thoughts, ie I'll be 58 at my now youngest's 21st! How old is too old ... |
Replies:
Posted By: freckle
Date Posted: 06 December 2010 at 2:32pm
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well I definitely don't think you're too old! I dunno what age I think is too old for others, for me I don't think I'd want to have one over 40ish cos I'm so scared of the increased risks of things going wrong. I am 35 and having my 3rd, if we could afford it and I didn't get so sick and stressed out being pregnant I'd definitely consider having another... I mean what is a few extra years! ------------- mum to 3 lovely girls :D |
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 06 December 2010 at 3:07pm
I think God tells you when your too old ... its about the time you cant get pg anymore. 
I dont think you are too old .. no where near it! ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: LJsmum
Date Posted: 06 December 2010 at 3:09pm
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38's not old to be having a third, mums are having babies at an older age these days. I was the youngest at my antinatal class and i was 28yrs old. Most first time mums were 35 - 40. So it just depends.
I saw in a mag that toni marsh is preg with no.1 and she's 42 i think. So it's really up to you and your family i guess  -------------  
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Posted By: freckle
Date Posted: 06 December 2010 at 3:15pm
So true!! ------------- mum to 3 lovely girls :D |
lilfatty wrote:Posted By: first
Date Posted: 06 December 2010 at 3:26pm
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I'm not sure what would be too old. I think it would be a personal thing. I would definately be thinking like you though-more about the long term (how old will I be when they are in high school or graduating and could I keep up).
Certainly people are choosing to have there children at a later stage in life. I had my first son at 24yrs and I am still forever being told 'Oh you are a young mum'. I think you just have to do what works for you and your children. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://pregnancy.baby-gaga.com/"> 
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Posted By: Hopes
Date Posted: 06 December 2010 at 3:30pm
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Oh, 38 is fine! I'm not really all that sure about 60-year-old ladies having babies with the help of IVF, I can see some real issues there, but I wouldn't stress about 38! I'm not really sure how old Mum is (I could work it out but can't be bothered) but she must have been round that age when she had my youngest brother. -------------   
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Posted By: jaycee
Date Posted: 06 December 2010 at 4:10pm
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My Mum had me 3 months before she turned 40 and my Dad was 43. I am an only child (not an issue in your family) and both my parents are still alive - Mum is 75 and Dad is 78.
My Mum has more energy than me - no I am not joking. My Dad's health is not so good, he had a stroke 14 years ago and as he gets older he is getting weaker. However there are lots of 78 year olds a lot "older" than my Dad IYKWIM! I say don't worry about it - it is all about you and how you feel, a lot about age is in the mind I have decided after having the parents I have got  -------------   
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Posted By: Nothing
Date Posted: 06 December 2010 at 4:11pm
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My mother in law had her tenth child at 43, it certainly hasnt slowed her down. My other friend who is 40 has a girl who is 8 months and two older children about 20years old. Go with what you want to do, and I agree with Lil Fatty, once you dont get preg, its your bodies way of saying, no more babies. ------------- 
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Posted By: kiwi2
Date Posted: 06 December 2010 at 5:42pm
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If you are fit and healthy go for it. I know there was a huge difference in my ability to cope/tiredness from being 19 with my first to being 29 with my 3rd. I think mums in their 30's deserve a medal as my body just decided to go to the pack with my 3rd. She was born two months after turning 30. But if there is no reference point to compare to then no-one is the wiser. IYGWIM.
My mum was 38 when she had me and back in the day that was unusual. My dad was 47 when I was born. I do remember calling him grand dad at netball once as I didn't want the other kids knowing he was my dad. He was 61ish. Awful I know but the things teenagers do. Its not like he could hear me because he was deaf as a post by that stage. He also was a very old person. Old fashioned and acted way beyond his years. Knee length walking socks in roman sandals with shorts. Hehehe bless him. The only downside to having older parents is that they haven't been able to be active grandparents to my kids. Dad had a stroke and has no speech and is in a nursing home. Mum is 72 now and due to arthritis and some cancer she is too frail to really interact with the kids much. My sister (she is 20 years older than me) now has grandchildren and it is lovely to see her running with her grandkids and enjoying them. But I still don't see that as a deal breaker. Live for today and do what you want. In the end it is about you and your family. |
Posted By: Plushie
Date Posted: 06 December 2010 at 5:49pm
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I think the stories you hear about 60 year old woman becoming pregnant with twins after intensive IVF etc are just mental, but i don't know these woman and they might be excellent parents so i shouldn't judge.
As someone who lost a parent at a young age, it sucked and i wish my Dad was around to see me achieve things like graduating uni or that he was around to see his first grandchild so i personally wouldnt want to be having kids at a late (55+) age just because you'd miss so much. I thought it was common for woman to only be starting to think about pregnancy in their late 30's or early 40's? I wouldnt think you are too old, not at all! |
Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 06 December 2010 at 5:51pm
''like'' ------------- http://lilypie.com] 
http://lilypie.com] 
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Posted By: Aquarius
Date Posted: 06 December 2010 at 7:39pm
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37 when i had my third ....
LOVING IT!!!! so much more into him..unsure why, maybe when i had my other two life was meant to be hectic and busy. now that we are older i just dont sweat the small stuff, things make me laugh instead of stress and now that we have a 16 yr old i know that most things are temporary and EVERYTHING has to be easier than a teenager  ..
i do agree on the body going to the pack though!!!!! talk about 10x the effort to get back to some sort of shape thats not all over the place!! ------------- http://www.magicalkingdoms.com/timers/"> 
mum to mr 16 & mr 10 |
Posted By: jano1
Date Posted: 06 December 2010 at 8:11pm
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It's such a personal thing I think. I'm 36, we are trying for no 2 (DD is 22 months) and I personally don't want to keep trying for more than a year tops as I don't want to be close to 40 and having another.
Most people I know who have had babies older find things a bit rough, especially the sleep loss and the business of a toddler. I wish we had started a few years ago but we were too busy having fun. I guess because we didn't know it would take a while to get pregnant (last time and this time) we figured it would happen really easily. |
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 06 December 2010 at 8:24pm
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I'm 37 and have just had my first its fantastic I'm loving motherhood and genuinely think things are meant to be.
Everyone is different for me starting my family later works for me. If we ttc #2 I'll be getting close to 40 which is the cut off for me. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: linda
Date Posted: 06 December 2010 at 8:53pm
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I had my first two at 35 and 38. Then we tried again and I also had a cut off of 40 but 40 came and went with no pregnancy. I think it is good to have an age in mind but its also easy to extend should you need more time. The other thing you have to watch out for when getting pregnant passed 40 is the increase of multiple births which happened to me. I had twins at 41 and although it freaked me out at first I now think it is great.
Go for it! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Alex 6 and Harry 8 |
Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 06 December 2010 at 9:10pm
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You're only as old as you feel, right?
But there are a range of things to consider... Other than your age; because age is just a number. My friends parents (both Asian) one - her parents were 45 (mum) and (57) dad when they had her and my guy friend his parents were 45 (mum) and 50 (dad). But when I think about it, I reckon the things you may consider due to being old could be things to consider at any age. Sorry, probably doesn't make much sense but I say go for it... ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Red
Date Posted: 06 December 2010 at 9:33pm
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I guess it depends how old you feel, my step mum had my half sister at 42. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: amme_eilyk
Date Posted: 07 December 2010 at 8:46am
| I think 68 is too old (I think thats the right age for the oldest person in the world to have a baby from my baby shower quiz). |
Posted By: _H_
Date Posted: 07 December 2010 at 9:28am
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its funny people say your to young in your 20's to have kids and people are worried when they hit 40 they are to old to have kids. it doesnt give us much time
i think as long as it feels right for you go for it! its a very personal thing |
Posted By: ooEvaoo
Date Posted: 07 December 2010 at 10:49am
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My mum had her 7th child at 40, my dad was 51. I had my first just under a month after turning 22. Though DF and I say will have around 4 kids...My cut off age will prob be 40. ------------- 
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Posted By: FionaO
Date Posted: 07 December 2010 at 11:56am
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I guess it depends on what you can cope with, I saw this post and my immediate thought was being pregnant at 60, 70 and beyond is a bit much, I suppose for the health and wellbeing of all concerned kids and parents. 38 is not old at all though!! ------------- 
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Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 07 December 2010 at 2:23pm
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LOL, i was wondering how old you were when I saw the topic - thinking more 58 than 38! 38 ISN'T old at all. Given you've got several kids already, you know what's involved and the energy drains (but also the benefits). I'd say go for it.
My mum had me at 33 and died 3 years later of cancer. Dad was 47 when my sister was born and is still kicking along at 72! I think a lot of the age thing is attitude as well. Dad is an OLD 72 (and was an old 47) - much more like a grandfather with similar energy levels. ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: weeheebaby
Date Posted: 07 December 2010 at 4:14pm
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I agree with everyone else about age being a state of mind.
38 isn't at all old, I know loads and loads and loads of people who have their first when they are 40. Sometimes it's just what life throws at you that makes it turn out that way. In my former life I was a secondary school teacher and I have seen everything in terms of ages for parents - from the parents I nearly asked if they were older sibblings to the parents I assumed were grandparents. It takes all sorts to make this world we live in and if you're up for another child - GO FOR IT  (In my opinion, there's no "right: age, but yeah 68 does feel a little hmmmmmm)------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 07 December 2010 at 6:25pm
oh my goodness,38 isn't old! 38 is just in the middle of being young 
I had my first at 20, was fine because I knew no different, but am much preferring this time round at 28,I feel a lot more settled. This is my last baby,but if I was to have more, I wouldn't be worried if I was in my 30s, 30 is the new 40 dontchaknow ------------- 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: NovemberMum
Date Posted: 07 December 2010 at 9:14pm
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no I dont think 38 is too old to be pregnant.
a mum in my antental group was almost 37 when her son was born. I always wanted to have at least one child before I was 35 (turn 35 in January) but that was more an idea not a must. and heck my nana was 45 when she had her last baby and is still alive at the age of 94!!! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: HoneybunsMa
Date Posted: 07 December 2010 at 10:44pm
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Mum was 41 when she had the youngest of us. She was 35 with the oldest. Mum is still an active grandmother at 64 takes DD out and about, plays with her chasing games things like that. No she won't be playing sports with her but heck I probably wouldn't lol.
Dad on the other hand is no hope of helping with DD at all he can barely walk himself and is only 64. He has issues, alot. And he actually isn't very interested in DD ignores her alot when all she wants is some attention. Bit of a stick in the mud too ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: lisa85
Date Posted: 08 December 2010 at 8:49am
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My Mum had me at 37 which these days isn't considered old to be starting a family at all. She already had 3 children that were 15, 13 & 11 at the time.
All my sisters waited until they were well into their 30's before starting a family. I think the one thing you have to consider are the risks are much higher as you get older. There are higher risks of things like downsyndrome and a much more increased chance of multiples after 35. Also I think you have to be prepared to be active and involved 10 years down the track. I remember my Mum never really being all that involved in my life as a teenager :( I think she was pretty over the whole running around at sporting events and hosting kids partys by the time she was hitting 50 & I was only 13 then so I needed an active and involved Mum. Although that maybe says more about the person than the age :) Everyone is different. Age is just a number and 38 is certainly not a high one lol -------------  
TTC #3 since Jan 2010 - PCOS MC April 2010 |
Posted By: Princess_Bubs
Date Posted: 08 December 2010 at 9:58am
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My mum only had one child, Me at 39, and she's been so loving and caring and always done the best by me. She stayed home with me for the first 5 years, and then went back to work part time.
I think being a mum is the hardest job in the world and maybe you appreciate the gift of a child more as you get older. I seem to have seen alot of people say that they enjoyed the kids they had later in life, almost more than the ones they had earlier. Maybe it's just me, but I think as we get older, we realise that life gets harder, bad things happen to people we love, and we start to appreciate what we have a whole lot more because of that. I miss the ignorant bliss of being a teenager and thinking that life was always going to be easy, but at the same time I have more appreciation for the great things that happen. Hence, when I have a baby NEXT YEAR (wishful thinking/power of the Secret and all that) that I'll embrace it with so much more power because I've waited for it and realise what a truly amazing gift a child really is xxxx ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  Two Precious Angel Babies 2010 / 2011 
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Posted By: kiwi2
Date Posted: 08 December 2010 at 11:14am
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I must say that I do enjoy my last child more which I had just after my 30th. But I my reasons may be a bit weird for some.
Because I was pregnant at 19 I felt like I had to prove myself. I had to be supermum, finish uni and support myself. I was looking at becoming a single teenage/just turning 20 mum and the stigma that I felt was attached with that. So I can say that I didn't really enjoy being a mum as I was so busy trying to sort my life out. Both DH and I were just kids ourselves. We got back together after all the drama and got married and I had my second child. At that point we moved overseas and with so much going on I didn't miss the good times but I didn't appreciate them with my son. Mind you they were short lived as he was such an active boy and by 9 months he was walking and life was crazy. Finally my third came along and it was a real rocky start. She was a troubled baby and finally after surgery at two and a half she settled down and I can really appreciate her now and we have fun. I think circumstance comes into it. Being older I think you have the time to focus on babies as everything else is in place and life isn't so crazy. The downside of having kids young for my DH is that when he takes my 14 year old out they don't know if he is a older guy preying on a kid or a brother to her. He looks barely 20 and has been mistaken for my son twice before even though he is 1 year older than me. For me is when I joined the PTA and one of the mums had a son my age. Her daughter was the same age as mine and was a surprise later on in life. The good side is I now have a legal babysitter whilst my friends all have toddlers so we have a social life again.
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Posted By: Richie
Date Posted: 08 December 2010 at 11:36am
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My Mum was 24 when she had my oldest sister (same age as I was when I had Isla) and was 44 when she had my little brother. She is always saying that she thinks she was a better Mum to us last 3 kids when she was aged 35-44 than what she was with the first 3 kids.
When my little brother was at primary school, sometimes the other kids would pick on him cause his Mum looked like she could be his grandma but in all honesty, even tho my Mum is almost 60, i don't think she has actually aged since I was born lol. She still acts like she is only 40. She has great style in clothes and has the filthiest mind lol. She still has heaps of energy and we get along like mates, she is hilarious. My Dad on the other hand, who is only 51 (yup, mum was a cradle snatcher) has always acted like an old man. He is the more traditional one. He looks much older than Mum too..... especially now he has brain cancer so the radiotherapy and chemo have aged him by another 10yrs. Altho I personally want to have completed my baby making by the time I'm 30, I don't think 38-40 is too old at all -------------  
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