45 minute waking
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Topic: 45 minute waking
Posted By: snugglebug
Subject: 45 minute waking
Date Posted: 27 January 2011 at 3:14pm
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My boy is getting better with his sleeping, he used to wake up after 10 minutes when put down during the day and refuse to sleep again.
Since moving him to his own room for day sleeps I have sorted that out and now he gets a good 2-3 hours. But the problem is he wakes up like clockwork after 45 minutes most times, you can set your watch to it! I know that's a sleep cycle. Sometimes I can resettle him by putting his dummy back in, shushing, and stroking his forehead. I have turned him on his side facing away from me and patted his back but that only occasionally works. I have even tried going in to try and 'reset' him before he wakes, which has worked once or twice but most of the time it doesn't. What I can't understand is why it's happening? On a bad day he'll wake crying and then nothing will resettle him short of getting him out of bed and rocking, and sometimes even that doesn't work and the sleep is ruined so he stays up and gets overtired. Is this just a phase he is going through? Is there anything else I can do? I have bought a white noise CD so I'll try that. He sleeps swaddled and with a dummy. He doesn't like the swing, he will sometimes sleep in his rocker, but I really prefer him to sleep in his bed. He has reflux and is irritable at times so the only way to settle him to sleep is rocking and cuddling at the moment, but I am working on weaning him out of it by putting him down when he's sleepy but not asleep, but this is going to take some time to perfect.. is that why he does it? Because he's reliant on me to go to sleep? Any help appreciated ------------- Me 28, DH 29 DS born 20 Nov 2010 (4 years old) #2 due October 7 http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Replies:
Posted By: BriAndOlisMum
Date Posted: 27 January 2011 at 3:23pm
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Here are some threads that may help you.
http://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=29039&KW=45+min - http://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=29039&KW=45+min http://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33963&KW=45 - http://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33963&KW=45 http://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=29039&KW=45 - http://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=29039&KW=45 http://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=27107&KW=45 - http://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=27107&KW=45 http://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22103&KW=45 - http://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22103&KW=45 -------------  http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: Hopes
Date Posted: 27 January 2011 at 3:33pm
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Yea - waking after a sleep cycle seems to be SUCH a common problem. Who'd have ever known it would be that hard to get the tired little beggars to sleep?!
I'm learning to live with it. I usually manage to get back to sleep once a day, so he has two short sleeps and one slightly longer one. I don't think it's enough, but what can you do? I'm figuring if I just relax and go with it at least I won't be stressing. -------------   
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Posted By: Nothing
Date Posted: 27 January 2011 at 3:39pm
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My girl did that, and still does, her main problem was she woke up needing to be burped (still does). Have you tried elevating his cot at one end? Make sure his feet are against the end of the cot so he doesnt slide down under the blankets. Nothing has really worked here, she is slowly starting to have longer sleeps now, but if she doesnt then we just go with the flow. If you can try and fix it while he is younger its much easier than when they are older. ------------- 
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Posted By: KiwiL
Date Posted: 27 January 2011 at 7:46pm
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Ollie also did that and, without clicking the links above, one of those threads might be mine.
It's very frustrating. In the end, as Ollie is the second baby, I just ended up getting him up. It meant he was getting up and down more frequently, but when there's a toddler you just have to go with the flow. Very different from how I managed it first time round! We survived and hasn't done him any harm. Otherwise I was stuck in a dark room shushing and patting, meanwhile DS1 was destroying the house. Maybe you want to try the same thing? Just shrug your shoulders, pick him up and do what you can? As it happens, when Ollie was about 2 months old, his day sleeps suddenly got better and now I would say about 75% of his sleeps he manages to go two or more cycles. The other times I just get on with the day. Good luck! |
Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 27 January 2011 at 8:24pm
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He is only little hun, just a few months old! Dont put too much pressure on yourself or him!
He is at a disadvantage because the first few weeks he was being woken by his reflux so he now he needs to learn how to go back to sleep. My Ollie wont settle any other way than being rocked and shushed and with the experience of terrrible sleeper already i will rock him to get him stretching his sleeps. Also, we are all different and so are our babies. So Plunkets up for 1 hour down for 2 hours might be perfect for some babies but not for others. Ollie does 45mins at about 8.30/9am then down again at 11/11.30am for 3 hours and then down for 45 mins about 4/4.30pm. Some day he will do 3 2 hour naps but not often. There is no "perfect" routine that you have to aspire to hun, so just relax and do what works for you and N  -------------   
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Posted By: KiwiL
Date Posted: 27 January 2011 at 8:29pm
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Oh, I was also going to say, have you tried a sling? Some babies will sleep quite happily next to mum and you can get things done.
Ollie doesn't, but Jackson did. |
Posted By: chocol8
Date Posted: 27 January 2011 at 8:51pm
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LittleN, my wee girl was a catnapper too. 45 minutes is one sleep cycle - so often they will wake up after that and not be able to get themselves back to sleep. I rang Plunketline who said just go with the whole feed-play-sleep routine, and I found this the easiest thing to do. I did try resettling her but it often didn't work, and I was getting just so wound up about it.
So, when she went to sleep I knew I had 45 minutes minimum to myself - whether that be a shower and breakfast or just 45 minutes on the couch! The other thing I can recommend is the Wake to Sleep method. This is when you go in at about 35 min and tickle their cheek til they twitch/move but you don't want them to wake up. This seems to reset their clock and would work for me for 75% of the time. Sometimes she'd sleep another 15 min, sometimes an hour or two. Check out the Sleep Store website and Facebook discussion page - lots of people have given advice on the same problem. Good luck xx |
Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 27 January 2011 at 8:53pm
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Completely normal, one thing that worked for us was going in after about 35 mins and giving her a gentle poke of blowing gently on her face to restart the sleep cycle, can't remember who told me that but it worked! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: chocol8
Date Posted: 27 January 2011 at 8:55pm
| PS just reread your post and I used to put my baby down drowsy but not asleep, and she would always wake after 45 min, so I don't think it's anything you're doing re bubba going to sleep on you. And my bubba did outgrow it - as they get more active and moving around more they wear themselves out - and all of a sudden she was doing 2 hour sleeps - just bliss! |
Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 27 January 2011 at 9:19pm
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Lily out grew it too, she slept for 2 hours (naps) and was up for 1 hour until 4 months then decided 45 mins seemed to be the trend with other babies her age and did that for about hmm 3 months and now does 2 hours give or take 30 mins.
If he is still tired I would try resettle back to sleep but if he is happy to be up - just go with it! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: WestiesGirl
Date Posted: 27 January 2011 at 11:59pm
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I had a catnapper too!! Its a real PITA. I also tried everything from rocking, patting, shooshing, feeding to sleep, walking in the pram and wearing him. NOTHING worked! In the end I gave up, it was too stressful to worry about. He outgrew that at 6 months when he put himself into a nice day routine and was sleeping up to 1.5 hours twice a day. Now were on one day nap of up to 2 hours.
Dont be too hard on yourself. It took me ages to just go with the flow of having a catnapper, but its not worth the stress IMO. ------------- Our Angel July 08  Gone but not forgotten
And to complete our family, our princess has arrived 
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Posted By: naysgirl
Date Posted: 28 January 2011 at 10:56am
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DS used to be a bit of a catnapper when he was younger too. We had a lot of issues with wind so he would wake up after one sleep cycle crying out in pain. Sometimes I could get him back to sleep after getting a few burps out, but often I couldnt. It used to stress me out abit as I had heard so much about the feed, play, sleep routine and that just wasn't happening with my boy.
So in the end, I learned to go with the flow. I also focused on getting one decent sleep out of him a day so even if the other two were onyl 45mins, at least he was getting one decent sleep. Or I used to go walking for an hour so that he was getting a sleep in the pram. Eventually he started to sleep for longer as he got older so things do improve. Like the others say, sometimes it is much easier to go with the flow, although this can be hard to do sometimes, it took me awhile to get used to doing that and to stop reading the books about what he should be doing! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: crafty1
Date Posted: 28 January 2011 at 2:29pm
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ditto the others, it's not something you are doing, he is just a baby and babies do that 45 min thing.
I went with it most of the time cos i found the resettling too soul destroying, but tried to get him one long sleep each day. If he hadn't had one by the third nap, i'd go in straightaway and put him in sling or frontpack and jiggy him back to sleep on me and then we'd both have a lie down on the couch. Nice! ps have a book/magazine, water etc and go to the loo first cos then you are stuck there. In his own time he got over it tho and now does reasonable naps of up to 2.5 hours. You can try and teach good sleep habits but at the end of the day it's better that they sleep at all, so if you need to use props then do and it's actually not that hard to wean them off them later when they want to nap. DS2 is a dream sleeper now. The only thing with the 45 min nap is that it's hard to feed 3hrly like everyone says you should (and i agree that in theory it is a good guide to feeding). By the third nap it's impossible when they only sleep 45mins. So don't worry about that just stick with your feed, play, sleep where you can, but towards the end of the day it will be play, feed, sleep to make sure they are having a big feed rather than snacking. I couldn't get my boy to feed 3 hrly till he was about 5-6 months i think. I do think it's better to have a bigger gap between feeds so they are drinking lots at one go and getting that hindmilk than follow the f,p,s religiously. But just my opinion! I got stuck in a snack and snooze with DS1 and that really was the pits so i was determined to avoid that with DS2. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: millymollymandy
Date Posted: 28 January 2011 at 2:37pm
| In the early days I had a catnapper, and soometimes she would be shushed back to sleep, sometimes not. It does make feedign very hard to figure out. Just to let you know she grew out, and we got top of sleeping of it and is now a great napper. (who I'm going to have actually go and wake up this afternoon!) |
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 28 January 2011 at 2:59pm
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What are his sleeps like at night?
DD sleeps really well at night so during the day I do what needs to be done she's still only young and if she needs a cuddle / rock / feed to go to sleep then I do it. Plenty of time yet to wean her off and I've found over the last couple of weeks she's needing me less and less to get off to sleep - actually felt quite sad the first time she went off to sleep all by herself - like she was growing up all too fast and didn't need her Mum. Each day is different, I did find that if I do the same things with getting her off to sleep at each and every sleep. I was wrapping her and popping her dummy in patting her tummy and shusshing eventually she'd go off to sleep with hardly any crying. I got sick of white noise, got some budget nature sounds CDs from the warehouse - much nicer for me to listen too and they last for 60 minutes which is enough to get her past that 1st sleep cycle and into the second. He'll get there in his own time, I've found it easier to go with what they need, I'm a SAHM after all everything else can wait. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: maya22
Date Posted: 28 January 2011 at 3:14pm
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Basically babies do this, and while it is tough on you not getting a break, it is even tougher to be you rocking and shushhing in a darkened room for four hours a day lol.
Be kind to your mental health, and if your baby does not go back to sleep after 5-10 min then just get him up and on with your day. he will grow out of it, and it is better to listen to your baby than all the other random people who think they know best. Edited to add - if you had a reflux baby that didn't do this, then he would be very unusual. It tends to be part and parcel of having a reflux baby. ------------- DS1 July 2007 DS2 Nov 2010 http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: snugglebug
Date Posted: 28 January 2011 at 3:34pm
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Thanks for all the advice. Ok thats cool, I wasn't aware until recently that it was something they all did and I was getting so frustrated as to what was going wrong and what was waking him lol
Its hard because he will be wide awake sometimes but then if I get him up, he grizzles and cries until I put him back to sleep, so it's usually not that he's had enough sleep. But I think I could try getting him up for a little play then putting him back down again instead of fighting with him to go back to sleep. LOL Maya yes I do feel like I spend the majority of my day in his room shushing and rocking, and I have the music from his musical seahorse going around and around in my head most of the time! haha I have got getting him to sleep down to a fine art now, it's just staying asleep thats the problem- but at one point I could never get him to sleep so I guess that's progress. C&J he's sleeping from 8:30/9pm ish until 3am and then from 3:30 till about 6, then he's up for the day, he used to sleep again after the 6am feed but he's dropped that, poor mummy hehe :( I think the reason Ive been so worried about this is because he is so much better, in general and with his reflux, when he has good day sleeps of 2-3 hours. We seem to be falling into a pattern now where he will sleep one big sleep in the morning, one in the afternoon, then a 45 min sleep around 5pm and going to bed at 9ish. Hopefully he is slowly learning with this 45 min thing as Im able to settle him in bed more often this week. He will sleep through the night if he doesn't sleep in the day but I don't mind waking in the night if it means a happy bub (I say as Im yawning my head off). Hope this phase passes soon!! ------------- Me 28, DH 29 DS born 20 Nov 2010 (4 years old) #2 due October 7 http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 28 January 2011 at 3:43pm
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Sounds pretty normal to me. DD has been catnapping all day today it has gotten a lot cooler wondered if that had anything to do with it.
I'm guessing once they start going onto solids that 5pm nap will be replaced with a feed and an earlier bed time. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: sem
Date Posted: 28 January 2011 at 4:09pm
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Emily's sleeps during the day are always around the 1 hour mark or just under.
It has never even crossed my mind to try and resettle her once she is awake. Instead I get her up, change her, feed her and put her on her mat. After 1 hour of being awake she will start to yawn and rub her eyes so I put her back in her bed and she'll go back to sleep for another hour and we'll start again. ------------- Here we go again, another baby on it's way! 
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Posted By: KiwiL
Date Posted: 29 January 2011 at 11:21am
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LittleN, I know what you mean about the crankiness. It's frustrating! I have a bad feeder too, and I am constantly worried that him not sleeping will end up making him not eat well. You can't win!
Yesterday (after I posted that his sleeps were good) he only did 45min blocks all day. He got super cranky and short-tempered by the end of the day, but not much I could do about it. He seems to be making up for it today (though I shouldn't say that as I will probably jinx it again!). One thing I learnt with Jackson (and we had some HUGE issues) is that worrying and fretting doesn't change anything. I can only say that in hindsight, at the time I near drove myself crazy with the concern and worry. In the end, the huge majority of babies will work out just fine and if you can adopt a relaxed attitude you'll enjoy bubs and being a mum a lot more. I am not preaching - I am still working on that attitude myself this time round, but I do find the less I care and therefore the less I worry, the easier it is to cope. |
Posted By: maya22
Date Posted: 29 January 2011 at 1:07pm
Totally agree! Maybe this week your baby doesn't read the Plunket manual, but that doesn't mean that next week won't be a totally different story. It is a moving feast, and as baby grows it all changes anyway. I am in awe of the mums that think their long-sleeping baby is all their own doing, they usually come unstuck with baby #2  ------------- DS1 July 2007 DS2 Nov 2010 http://lilypie.com">
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kiwilaurie wrote:Posted By: Millyz
Date Posted: 29 January 2011 at 4:15pm
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I agree with everyone! My wee girl slept for 2-2.5 hours during the day until I took the dummy away at 5 months. Then her sleeps became 20-45mins or not at all!! We've now got a routine going of around 45mins twice a day. If we get an hour or more at a time that's awesome but I'm no longer stressing about it as its not worth it!!
I think if you can go with the flow that makes a huge difference as I was getting pretty stressed about it. But all good now!! Famous last words ..... :-) ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: JessDub
Date Posted: 30 January 2011 at 9:14am
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When my DS was a baby, we'd be lucky to get him to sleep longer than 45 minutes. I didn't realise how many babies do it and can't be coaxed into longer sleep.
However, on the bright side, since DS went to one sleep a day (can't remember when) he sleeps 1.5 - 2.5 hours which is sometimes more than the total day naps he had as a baby! Hopefully you have that to look forward to, too. ------------- 
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Posted By: 09_mrs
Date Posted: 30 January 2011 at 5:03pm
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We also have a 45 min catnapper, on bad days its only 30 min naps as well (argggh). He has always been a crap day sleeper, would sleep for hours when he was younger but would have to be rocked, bounced etc to keep him asleep due to wind. He is now 6 months old and wind is no longer an issue so I'm getting him to have his naps in his cot. I'm just going with the flow (sometimes he has 4 naps a day) and hoping that things get better as he gets older. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: Bobchannz
Date Posted: 31 January 2011 at 2:14pm
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I decided that my little catnapper needed longer sleeps because she would wake up crying and really cranky. Wrapping has helped, and if she wakes at 45mins I go in, re-wrap if necessary say 'goodnight DD2' firmly and leave. I come back every five mins until she is out (somedays have to do it once, somedays twice). She is getting the hang of it. ------------- www.makedomum.blogspot.co.nz |
Posted By: snugglebug
Date Posted: 31 January 2011 at 3:23pm
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Bobchannz that is what I have been doing, going in and shushing or patting, waiting till he closes his eyes and then leaving again but sometimes I will have to go back 3 or 4 times before he stays asleep. It's weird though, he will wake after 45 mins but then after that he can go for 2 more hours or more and not wake at all.
I have found music and white noise is helping him to settle himself but not yet helping get past the 45 min mark. I know he can self settle because he does it at night and he does it when I sometimes ignore him in the morning if he's grizzling and I know he's still tired and I don't want to get up, lol. This morning he was so shattered he couldn't even keep his eyes open and yet he kept waking up, I don't understand it. I think you ladies are right I should go with the flow more, as some days just don't allow for the sleep routine anyway. I hadn't been going out much so it was working but this weekend we did a couple of visits so he had to make do with catnaps in his carseat or rocker for 45 mins at a time and it worked ok. So I think I will try what you have suggested and get up up if he's awake, try and resettle if he's cranky (usually lol) and not stress about it if he does get up. And hope he learns soon! ------------- Me 28, DH 29 DS born 20 Nov 2010 (4 years old) #2 due October 7 http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 31 January 2011 at 4:13pm
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Another thing which I found hard to learn at first was distinguishing whether he was just grizzling like 'leave me alone, I may fall back to sleep' or 'get me up! I ain't going back to sleep'. Often I'd go in the minute she made a peep, but was advised to leave her for a bit and see and sometimes she'd nod back off, others not. Took dp 9 months to learn that! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: snugglebug
Date Posted: 01 February 2011 at 6:04pm
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I would just like to report that we had 2 3 hour sleeps today with no 45 min wakeup! The only thing I did differently was putting him down when he was very sleepy but awake and settling him in bed, so who knows if that was why but Im just glad it happened hehehe. ------------- Me 28, DH 29 DS born 20 Nov 2010 (4 years old) #2 due October 7 http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: monkey33
Date Posted: 02 February 2011 at 9:16pm
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We went through this too!
As someone else said, I would think to myself that i only had 45 mins - so I got everything done that I needed to do. I then had the buggy set up and he wasn't going to go for another sleep cycle, I bundled him into the buggy and went off walking for another hour or so. He got sleep, I got fresh air and a bit of a 'break' & I lost my baby weight at the same time. DS thankfully grew out of it and went on to have good day sleeps later on ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: snugglebug
Date Posted: 02 February 2011 at 9:32pm
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Thanks monkey thats a good idea I need to get out walking so I will give it a go.
Day 2 of trying to get him to self settle and we've only had one 45 min wakeup and he self settled from it, woah! Maybe me rocking him to sleep and then putting him down was the problem as he was waking up somewhere else, who knows. He could go back to it again tomorrow. I'll just enjoy it while I can! ------------- Me 28, DH 29 DS born 20 Nov 2010 (4 years old) #2 due October 7 http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 02 February 2011 at 9:39pm
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Sounds like it, I noticed once DD could self settle she slept better too, esp if I wasn't feeding her to sleep, rocking/cuddling, etc!
Also, the walking is a good idea too! Esp if you have shops near by and errands to run! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: KiwiL
Date Posted: 03 February 2011 at 7:57pm
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And - everytime you think you've mastered something, it changes again.
After saying Ollie had his naps sorted, he's back to waking every 45 minutes and not interested in being resettled. So, I was thinking of you today as I sighed and got him up for the 5th time! |
Posted By: FionaO
Date Posted: 06 February 2011 at 8:35pm
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Oh I had a catnapper and am prepared that the 2nd might be the same, from about 3 months DS slept for 45 mins and not a second more until he was well over a year - I was obsessed and tried and bought every product thing going to get him to sleep for longer, who knows why I bothered all of a sudden it changed and he still sleeps well during the day. So i suppose no real comment to add, we've been there, you get super efficient at cleaning, cooking showering and sitting down all in 45 mins Getting him to self settle is a good achievement though - hope it helps ------------- 
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Posted By: snugglebug
Date Posted: 07 February 2011 at 1:56pm
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It seems the self settling has helped heaps, he hasn't been doing the 45 minute wakeups for a week! He has woken during his sleeps but for different reasons such as having a spill or dummy out hehe but not at 45 minutes!!! I used to have to rock him to sleep now he gets annoyed if I do that too much before putting him in the bed. Im amazed. Long may it last lol
------------- Me 28, DH 29 DS born 20 Nov 2010 (4 years old) #2 due October 7 http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: MrsJMcD
Date Posted: 07 February 2011 at 8:44pm
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LittleN we have a 45 min sleeper too, and he has had several periods of a couple of weeks of sleeping great then goes back to the 45 mins at a time...what a tease! It can be very wearing.
It's great that your little guy is sleeping well now - well done! Long may it continue, but if he does go back to 45 min sleeps don;t despiar - hopefully it won't last for long! |