Scared of miscarrying
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Category: Pregnant
Forum Name: Pregnancy
Forum Description: Pregnant! Wanting to chat to other mums-to-be (or dads-to-be)? Share your thoughts, experiences, and ideas... This is that place!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=3782
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Topic: Scared of miscarrying
Posted By: cat
Subject: Scared of miscarrying
Date Posted: 18 September 2006 at 11:11am
| Hi there, I'm new to all this. I had a positive home test on Saturday, really lucky as I only came off the pill a couple of months ago. I have worked out from various websites that I am 5 and a half weeks gone I've got an appt with the doctor tomorrow. I am so scared that I will miscarry, I think my mother had a miscarriage not sure when into her pregnancy (I can no longer ask her). I have been getting very sore boobs but no other symptoms though I have been getting what feel like mild pms type cramps. I guess I'm just looking for a bit of reassurance cos it's eating away at me and I keep having to go to the loo and check! |
Replies:
Posted By: mrs frantic
Date Posted: 18 September 2006 at 11:18am
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welcome to the world of worrying about everything... we were all the same. I was constantly worried about this in teh first trimester and so were many others but we were all fine. I got cramps too, wicked ones right up till about 12 weeks or so. So did my sister. That can be perfectly normal and just your body adjusting. Just relax, take it easy and have a chat with your doctor...chances are you will go on to have a perfectly normal pregnancy (and baby) but I am afriad all the little worries and paranoia's are part of the terriory now...
and remember you an always come here and ask questions if you are unsure... good luck!!!!  ------------- Mrs Frantic Baby Maddisyn born 28 Sept 2006 http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 18 September 2006 at 11:26am
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So totally normal, you will be apart of the CUC (constand(sp?) undies checks) club. We all did it when we first found out we were pregnant. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 18 September 2006 at 12:15pm
Cat, I have heard that miscarriages occur in a significant percentage of pregnancies, but that's not to worry you it just means that your mum miscarrying will likely have no effect on your pregnancy... and she obviously had at least one successful pregnancy 
I didn't get cramps with my first child but definitely with the next two, for about the first 9 weeks. They are nothing to worry about, it mostly means that everything is stretching into the right place and your body is working great! A lot of the first trimester feels like pms so you don't need to worry. And of course, just come on here every week with your new questions -------------  |
Posted By: emeldee
Date Posted: 18 September 2006 at 12:18pm
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Congratulations Cat! The constant worrying is all part of the game. Your doctor will be able to send you for blood tests to check your HcG levels (preggy hormones) and confirm things a bit more for you, however I'd be lying if I said that that stops the worrying bug.
Cramps can be normal - there's a lot of activity going on down there at present, and even a little bit of spotting or breakthrough bleeding can occur in early pregnancy. Focus on getting as much rest and healthy food and mild exercise as you can and have a good chat to your doctor about any concerns. Your mum may have had a miscarriage, but I'm deducing from your existance that she also had at least one successful pregnancy - so don't get too fussed about any heredity concerns just now. Best of luck and happy thoughts your way!  ------------- |
Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 18 September 2006 at 1:26pm
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Cat the undies check continues throughout - we had a scare at 7 weeks but now much further on
My last worry was bubs wasnt moving - then had scan and bubs couldnt have been more active if it tried! Next worry??? well there is sooo many to chose from... Hang in there and know we are all here to chat... best of luck! and Congrats!!!!! |
Posted By: littlejo
Date Posted: 18 September 2006 at 1:34pm
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Hi Cat,
I'm now 9 weeks, and still check all the time! My mum had several miscarriages (and eventually one successful pregnancy), and although I had a scan years ago to see whether I had the same issues as her (and it seemed ok), now that it actually matters (back then I was not thinking of getting pg at all), I'm sooooo worried too. Your symptoms sound totally normal. Just like mine were when I first found out (at about 5 weeks or so too). A couple of weeks later was when the nausea really started. I find getting plenty of rest the best help so far...when possible. Best of luck, and CONGRATULATIONS!! ------------- Jo Jo http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 18 September 2006 at 1:38pm
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Yep to what everyone else has said. I am still a card-carrying member of the Constant Undie Check club at 33 weeks.
And like Maree said, your mother having had one miscarriage doesn't mean you will. In fact, statistically, you are more likely to have an ongoing pregnancy than a miscarriage as even though around 1 in 5 pregnancies end in m/c, that still means that 4 out of 5 don't. I've had cramps in both of my ongoing pregnancies, and with this pregnancy have even had 3 lots of bleeding (at 5,9 and 25 weeks) and my gremlins are doing fine. Good luck for the next 8 or so months! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: cat
Date Posted: 18 September 2006 at 1:42pm
| Thanks for all your support, it really helps. It's so difficult having not told any of my friends or family yet but you guys have helped immensely. |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 18 September 2006 at 8:47pm
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Although it seems like a high percentage of pregnancies miscarry, many of those are before the woman even knows she is preggy. Also, i know a lot of people dont like to tell family and friends unti they get to the 2nd trimester in case they miscarry, but my theory was I'd rather tell them as soon as i knew, so then if I did miscarry I would have a lot more support - if that makes any sense.
BTW, welcome and congratulations Cat  ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 18 September 2006 at 9:14pm
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OK, doesn't Emma have the statistics about miscarriage...? like as soon as you hear a heart beat the possibility of miscarrying falls to about 5%???
Everyone worries Cat but seeing so many healthy babes come from even the women on here... it is promising that you'll get one too. 
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 18 September 2006 at 9:24pm
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LOL Nikki (healthy babes), but she's not likely to hear the heartbeat until 10 weeks (feels like ages!) ------------- |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 18 September 2006 at 9:26pm
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Ah crap. I tried!!!
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Posted By: Kazza
Date Posted: 19 September 2006 at 9:10am
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Hi Cat I'm in the same boat, and all new at this as well, I'm only 8 weeks along and the nicker checking still goes on. I got cramps as well and still do now and then, but all has been ok so far and I don't go back to see the mid wife or get my first scan till Mid Oct, which seems like a life time away, but it is all going well so far so keep smiling.
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Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 19 September 2006 at 9:37am
If it helps (which it probably doesn't LOL) I checked EVERY day  ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater 
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: herewego...
Date Posted: 19 September 2006 at 11:28am
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If you are "unsure" about dates , you can ask your doc to send you for an early scan. We had one at 7wks, and got to see the heartbeat flickering away. There wasnt much else to see cos baby is so small at that stage, but it was very reassuring to see the heart beating, and certainly helped to ease my worries a little bit...
Once the heartbeat has been sighted, the risk drops significantly! Whatever the case, I'm sure you will continue to worry. Its only natural, and as others have said, it doesnt stop after you reach 12 weeks! All the best for a smooth hassle-free preganancy! ------------- DS#1 - Hamish 24/11/2006 http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: cat
Date Posted: 19 September 2006 at 11:39am
| I've read on other message board about HCG testing and people telling about high levels being a good sign etc. Does everyone have this testing, if so at what stage? |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 19 September 2006 at 12:08pm
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You can have it done at any time just ask for the routine pregnancy bloods and ask that it be doen as well. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 19 September 2006 at 1:01pm
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hCG testing can be a storm in a teacup tho as the difference in levels varies from person to person. To truly gauge whether a pregnancy is progressing normally you have to have the levels done every 2 days to see if they are doubling.
I had hCG levels done every 2 days at the beginning with this pregnancy, and I think it did my head in more than not knowing. Waiting for the results was agony and then when I did get them I would panic that they hadn't gone up enough which means a risk of m/c or had gone up too much which can mean an ectopic. On top of that, after about 5/12-6 weeks the levels stop doubling every 2 days and start doubling every 3-4 days, which made me panic again... IMHO, if you can hold out till between 6 1/2-7 weeks and then have a dating scan, you can be reassured that once the heartbeat is seen on u/s the risk of m/c drops to below 5%. Some doctors are reluctant to give early scans, but if you are anxious you can usually convince them. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 19 September 2006 at 1:02pm
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I just wanted to say Congrats on the pregnancy and welcome to Oh Baby Cat! Try not to worry too much ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Georgie K
Date Posted: 20 September 2006 at 2:04pm
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Hi - I'm exactly the same as you Cat. I even got my first BFP on Saturday too! I am constantly worried about m/c - DH keeps telling me no negative thoughts! I feel as though I don't want to get my hopes up and get too excited about having a baby incase I m/c. Furthermore, I've also been getting lots of cramps - nights seem to be worse.
Anyway, it was great to read that this is all 'normal'! I love the CUC club! Congratulations too! ------------- Me: 32 DH: 31 BFP: 16 September 2006 EDD: 25 May 2007 3 ocicat furbabies http://www.snugglepie.com"> 
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 20 September 2006 at 7:59pm
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Oh welcome Georgie too
Scans... it depends whereabouts you are in the country. In Palmerston North you only get scanned at 20 weeks, not before or after unless there is cause for concern (even though I didn't know what my dates were by 4-6 weeks!) ------------- |
Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 20 September 2006 at 8:35pm
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welcome, congrats and good luck ladies. I wont repeat what everyone else has said but they are all right lol.
hope you all have healthy happy pregnancies. Georgie you got your BFP on my birthday, cool date! In chch you get a scan at 12 weeks then again at 20 weeks. |
Posted By: cat
Date Posted: 21 September 2006 at 9:07am
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I saw the Dr on Tuesday evening and then went and told my best friend, I feel much better about it all. The Dr just reassaured me with the positive figures and basically there's nothing I can do about it.
I have to have a dating scan though as I wasn't in a normal cycle when I conceived so have to have a chat with a midwife tonight. I'm struggling with the what I can and can't eat thing though - a work mate made a chocolate cake with a custard filling (custard powder and 3 eggs all cooked inside the cake) and I don't know if I can eat it - it's just sitting here taunting me - please tell me if I can or not!! |
Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 21 September 2006 at 9:25am
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as long as the eggs are cooked you will be sweet.
when are you going to go for your scan? |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 21 September 2006 at 9:26am
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I think if the custard has been baked inside the cake then it's all good, it' sonly if it's like fresh custard that's been put in the middle? Don't quote me on that, but I work on the theory that once it's been baked that's enough to kill any bugs... ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: cat
Date Posted: 21 September 2006 at 9:44am
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Thanks guys, I've just eaten it and it was goooood! I'm not sure when the scan is, I suppose I'll find out when I speak to them midwife later today. I'm probably 6 weeks now so when do you think they'll do the scan? What stage does the heart start to beat? It'd be great to see that and get down to the 5% chance of m/c or should I say 95% chance of everything being fine!
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 21 September 2006 at 10:13am
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I'm in Palmy and I had a 6 week scan, due to not knowing dates and strong family history of twins. If you say that you have ben really sick or unsure of dates then they usually get you a scan. They will never use the reason unsure of dates as the reason to scan it will either be very sick or family history of twins. With my first I was being scanned every second day in the last few weeks due to pre eclampsia. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: Georgie K
Date Posted: 21 September 2006 at 4:06pm
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Just a quick question. Scan dates, eg: if you were to have a scan at 12 weeks, is this 12 weeks past LMP? Sorry, still trying to work out if that is the usual 'measure' so to speak! ------------- Me: 32 DH: 31 BFP: 16 September 2006 EDD: 25 May 2007 3 ocicat furbabies http://www.snugglepie.com">
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 21 September 2006 at 8:29pm
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Yep, the number of weeks is measured post LMP, and all the measurements they do of bubs are post LMP too.
The heart starts to beat between 5-6 weeks LMP and is visible on U/S sometime between 6-7 weeks, tho most docs prefer to wait until after 7 weeks as if you have a scan at 6 or so weeks and don't see the heartbeat it can be stressful, and doesn't neccessarily mean anything is wrong, it might just be a little early. I had a scan at 6w0d and we saw the heartbeat. Then discovered at 9 weeks that there were actually 2 -so one was obviously too small to see on the 6 week scan. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: Georgie K
Date Posted: 22 September 2006 at 4:26pm
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Another food related question! My Mum bakes a yummy fudge cake recipe (that she has just sent me) - melt sugar, butter, stir in one egg (not cooked), stir in crushed wine biscuits etc... My (silly) question is, should I eat this as it technically has uncooked egg in it??? I'm starting to get really paranoid about eggs now!
PS: Maya, thanks for clearing up the weeks thing! ------------- Me: 32 DH: 31 BFP: 16 September 2006 EDD: 25 May 2007 3 ocicat furbabies http://www.snugglepie.com">
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 24 September 2006 at 9:56am
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Personally I wouldn't, but I am a superfreak when it comes to what is safe and what isn't. I know plenty of people who still eat ham and soft cheeses etc. and their babies are fine whereas I throw away half a pot of sour cream after I've opened it "just in case". ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: yummymummy
Date Posted: 24 September 2006 at 11:03am
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Georgie, I would not eat it either. I used to be more relaxed about food incl having some smoked salmon and McDonalds etc etc until I ended up with food posoning!!! And I really suffered! Baby was OK as it turned out to be nothing dangerous eg listeria but I really felt it for a week. I lost weight as I could not keep either food or liguid down and had to have time off work. My new motto - better be safe than sorry
PS - I have 2 ocicat babies. They are just adorable aren't they? ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Georgie K
Date Posted: 24 September 2006 at 5:43pm
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Thanks for the advice. DH has pretty much decided the fudge is his now anyway! Just as a side note, DH and I were at the mall today, and I found it so hard to find something to eat! I never thought that I would be this fussy, but now I don't even want to put parmessan on my pasta!
Yummymummy, ocicats are just fantastic! Our three all have such different personalities, but we love them all! |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 25 September 2006 at 1:05pm
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I find food halls a mission too. All the fast foods that are 'safe' like McD's make me feel nauseous just thinking about them, and all teh yummy stuff like sushi and curry and chinese is off limits... ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: Jennz
Date Posted: 25 September 2006 at 8:48pm
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The only MCds I would eat was a quarter pounder (which I hate!) because the others have creamy based sauces on them- and even then I would go home and cook it to bits first. I was the queen of paranoia when I was pregnant last time! I would like to think I can be a little more relaxed this time around, but I doubt it.
I think its a good rule of thumb that if you are in doubt, then don't. Better to be safe than sorry! Its only 8 months out of your whole life. I took a box of BBQ shapes with me everywhere I went (had one next to the bed, one in my desk draw, one in the car etc...) as it helped with my nausea and meant I always had something I could eat! I can definitely relate to the miscarry worry- esp since it took us so long to concieve  ------------- Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3 
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Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 26 September 2006 at 10:10am
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The food thing can be a struggle sometimes, eh. I think it helps if you make up your mind about what you consider OK or not, after reading the official guff you get sent out, and then go with that. Listening to other people's opinions on it can be really conflicting and make you feel either guilty or like a paraniod woman. Older women rubbished me HEAPS for following the guidelines, ranting about what rubbish it all is and how all their babies came out just fine (which, uh, they all didn't, but it'd have been cruel for me to point that out!!), I survived a fair few lectures on it all, but because I'd made up my mind on which guidelines I thought seemed important, I was OK about ignoring their opinions. Hey Jennz - I've just spotted your extra ticker - CONGRATULATIONS!!! ------------- Andie |
Posted By: cat
Date Posted: 14 November 2006 at 12:25pm
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bumped -------------  
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