keeping pregnancy secret?
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Category: Pregnant
Forum Name: Pregnancy
Forum Description: Pregnant! Wanting to chat to other mums-to-be (or dads-to-be)? Share your thoughts, experiences, and ideas... This is that place!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=38230
Printed Date: 26 August 2025 at 6:50pm
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Topic: keeping pregnancy secret?
Posted By: BabySurprise
Subject: keeping pregnancy secret?
Date Posted: 01 March 2011 at 10:27pm
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how do you do it i am bursting at the seems to tell people I usually send a bulk txt when i get a bfp so this is the 1st time i have decided to keep it to myself. I have told one person and some ohbaby mums in private. I am finding that i like that its my little secret but im so excited i want to tell everyone at the same time lol.
I have friends i have to face everyday and i know im goin to say something. planning to wait til 1st scan at about 8ish weeks to tell close friends and 12wks to tell the rest. |
Replies:
Posted By: MrsMJD
Date Posted: 02 March 2011 at 8:47am
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We staggered when we told people and some people guessed so I'm possibly not the best person to ask lol. But made sure our parents were the first to know..... well apart from the OB ladies who confirmed I wasn't going crazy and there were 2 lines on the stick! ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  
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Posted By: kiwikt
Date Posted: 02 March 2011 at 1:47pm
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I am itching to tell people. We told our parents straight away and one friend who knew I was doing a TER. We managed to wait 2 weeks to tell my two best friends - so 6weeks, and I told another girlfriend at 7 weeks.
I am now approaching 8 weeks and I am not sure how much longer I will be able to keep it a secret. I am catching up with another friend this weekend who has just announced she is pregnant, so I am not sure I can keep it from her. I am trying to take it a week at the time at the moment. I think we will tell the rest of our close friends next week (so 3 more people), and the rest of the family the week after that. Not going to do the mass announcement until 12 weeks - but I imagine it will get around before then anyway. ------------- Due 14/10/11 http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Two_Puddle_Ducks
Date Posted: 02 March 2011 at 3:23pm
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I was so sick with morning sickness that most people knew before 12 weeks. I think it is up to the individual to tell when they are ready to tell. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Mrs_B
Date Posted: 02 March 2011 at 3:36pm
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I'm 13wks and haven't told anyone IRL other than my Mum (who I only told last week) and two close friends who I see a couple of times a week. A couple of girls at work know as there are some duties at work you can't do when pregnant so had to get them to do it for me. Other than that I have found it relatively easy to keep a secret although my belly is now getting difficult to hide! In saying that I've been very lucky to have no MS so that makes it easier I guess. We will tell DH's parents this weekend and then will make it public knowledge I guess. -------------  
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Posted By: Velvet
Date Posted: 02 March 2011 at 3:50pm
| We have to wait 6 months til we TTC and I'm already itching to tell people that much! I have no idea how I'll keep my mouth shut once we actually get pregnant, as we will wait til 12wks before telling people. |
Posted By: ChikkyD
Date Posted: 02 March 2011 at 4:42pm
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I got given the advice that before 12 weeks only to tell the people that you are willing to 'un-tell'
Although i was so excited with my bfp that i pretty much told my closest friends and family straight away! Waited till 12 weeks until i announced it on facebook -------------   
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Posted By: mummymonster
Date Posted: 02 March 2011 at 8:12pm
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"told" my mum straight away. She knew we were trying and she phoned the day i got bfp. She asked if there was any baby news, I said . . . . . ah, = she guessed.
Then when i was 7wks, my sis got terminally ill so told immediate family. My mum told everyone at the funeral (which I thought was pretty bad form (a) funeral, (b)she knew it was a secret) that was 12 wks and not my circle of friends IYKWIM. told my boss at 16wks. didn't start telling people in general till 20+ wks. At first it was hard not to tell, then after a while it was just the way it was. Then when I started to tell people it was a bit odd - hi, what's up, oh yeah I'm 24wks preggy. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: T_Rex
Date Posted: 02 March 2011 at 8:13pm
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With my first pregnancy, it took me a week or so to get my head around it, and before it got to that stage, I had a threatened miscarriage so it was pretty much rammed in my face that I had to be willing to untell people who I told. I had to tell my sister who was staying with us why I was on bedrest for the weekend, and told my folks and bestie after I had a good scan a week or so later. I also ended up telling a colleague who would need to pick up a bit of my slack once I got dreadful morning sickness - but she is also a really good friend so again, someone I could untell if need be. Everyone else I waited till after our 12 week scan, because I really didn't want to have to go around untelling. Plus, if it did end up taking ages for us to get a pregnancy that stuck, I didn't want it common knowledge that we were TTC. I was going for promotions etc and didn't want that to be in the back of their minds when they made decisions about me.
This time, I've been telling my friends when the opportunity arises - not going out of my way to bring it up, but not making up *stories* as to why I'm not eating particular things or as to what age gap I'm thinking of between kids etc. I think because it's not the first pregnancy, there isn't the same need to keep it quiet - everyone will be expecting it sooner or later so it's not going to change attitudes at work or anything. That said, I'm still limiting it to people I'd be ok with untelling until after my 12 week scan 
It is hard when I'm so excited (and developing quite the belly!) but I just think to myself "is this a person I want knowing if I end up going through a m/c?" and that usually makes the decision quite easy. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: BabySurprise
Date Posted: 02 March 2011 at 10:58pm
| yeah see at the moment i am worried about having to untell people. i have mc before and i know i am a very private person who prefers to suffer in silence so to speak. but some of my friends i know will be a bit too worried about me if i mc, where as i prefer to get on with it than have everyone reminding me. |
Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 03 March 2011 at 8:53am
I managed to keep mine secret until 20 weeks, didn't tell anyone but family (so some family did spread it round with excitement, mainly MIL, FIL and BIL#2) but if people asked/guessed then I told them I was... I told one close friend. FIL told a friend at the local pool who told her daughter (we went to school together) and she told a bunch of people and I honestly had people ringing me for about a week asking if it was true (I was 19 at the time). Was kinda annoying but I'm glad I kept it a secret!  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: blossombaby
Date Posted: 03 March 2011 at 9:25am
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My boss guessed because I had cronic m/s and spent all morning spewing and also all afternoon. She was wonderful handing me gingerbear etc.
Told my family at 7 weeks (Mum, Dad, Brother, SIster and Nana) Told DP Family at 8.5weeks (Mum + 3 siblings and partners) had a terrible time with SIL telling me its not to late to abort .. WTF if that was the case im pretty sure we would have told you .. you were going to be an Aunty. Told everyone else from 13 weeks .. Heaps of gfs angry I hadn't told them .. but I didnt feel the need for them to know iykwim, Dp didnt want to tell anyone till we had had baby .. said we'd just tell people i was just getting fat
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 03 March 2011 at 11:31am
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I should also add - I didn't find out until about 8 weeks along and so the only ones who knew at first was dp and my mum. We told my grandparents at 9 weeks and DPs family at 16 weeks (he was scared his dad would 'kill' him for getting me UTD before getting a proper job! but they were over the moon!). Everyone else found out at about 20 weeks and I didn't tell my dad until 25 weeks as we aren't that close and he was quite upset... ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Whateversville
Date Posted: 03 March 2011 at 1:49pm
| I got my BFP quite early. My flatmates, baby's dad, my mum and my 2 besties found out the same day as me. I had to tell them. I was scared to tell my dad but I told him about a week later. Then I just kept it to myself, not 'secret' but just didn't say. Then I just put my 12w scan pics on FB to spread the word.. |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 03 March 2011 at 1:57pm
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I told everyone everytime lol..i suck at keeping secrets..and esp the first time when we found out baby had died at 12 week scan... i needed support though it was also awful being reminded by people.. but when we got preg with Ethan then mc baby then Liam we told everyone:) ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |