Numb
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Support
Forum Name: Life After Miscarriage
Forum Description: Up to one in five pregnancies ends in miscarriage, yet for many the loss of a pregnancy is isolating and lonely. Share your thoughts and feelings here with others who have experienced loss.
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=38365
Printed Date: 27 June 2025 at 8:05am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Numb
Posted By: pikelets
Subject: Numb
Date Posted: 11 March 2011 at 5:46pm
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I started bleeding today and it has gotten heavier.
I am or was 4 weeks 5 days today. I feel numb. I am totally blessed to have DS who is 3 and I know this is really early but I just feel so sad and disappointed. I don't have a lot of family and I really didn't want DS growing up with out alot of family either, it saddens me to think of him as an only child and if something happened to DH and I or when we get old and die, he will be alone and that makes me so so sad. 
I also feel so selfish as some people have no children and here I am being sad when it could be worse. Im 36yrs, it took 2 yrs of trying to get DS and this is my 2nd miscarriage (Dec10 and now Mar11). I don't have time on my side! Life sux sometimes! Is it still classed as a MC even though it was so early?? I am going to see my dr and see what he thinks about, I don't know actually, maybe some testing?? Or maybe I should wait?? Im just confused, numb but pee'd off and sad
(Sorry for the vent but I need to get it out) edited coz I am actually 36! I would have been 37 if this pregnancy lasted. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
 3 Angels - Dec10 / Mar11 / Dec11
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Replies:
Posted By: GuestGuest
Date Posted: 11 March 2011 at 6:30pm
I'm so sorry pikelets  It must be so heartbreaking to get your hopes up only to have this happen. Good idea to see a doctor, they might be able to shed some light on why it has happened again. Hope you're doing okay (well as ok as can be expected)xx
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Posted By: Luckymama23
Date Posted: 11 March 2011 at 7:15pm
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So sorry to hear that pikelets :(
Hope the doctor can offer some suggestions. hugs |
Posted By: Orca1
Date Posted: 11 March 2011 at 10:23pm
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Pikelets, so sorry to hear your news. My thoughts are with you, I understand how you are feeling. I think its a good idea to go and see your doctor. -------------  DD born 2008 Oct 2009, April 2010, Dec 2010, June 20117 x IVF/ICSI/PGD = BFN |
Posted By: newme
Date Posted: 12 March 2011 at 12:11pm
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Hugs. I know it is hard, and that you loved that wee life, no matter how early it was.
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Posted By: Princess_Bubs
Date Posted: 14 March 2011 at 9:40am
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I'm so sorry pikelets, life is just not fair sometimes
I don't know what you should do in relation to testing etc, most GP's don't consider miscarriage a problem until you've had 3 (You have no idea how angry that makes me!). I personally am desperate, I paid $240 a pop to see 2 different specialists, and to be honest, after each asking me 50 questions and scanning me etc, I'm no wiser - they both said there is no reason. I've got chromosomal blood tests for df and I to do but other that one said "Try again straight away, if your body is ready to get pregnant, you're ready" and the other said "Wait at least 2 cycles". So who knows. You know that your body can do it, and no doubt will again. I'm sure you'll have your second bundle in no time. Thinking of you xxxxxxx ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  Two Precious Angel Babies 2010 / 2011
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Posted By: Roses are Red
Date Posted: 15 March 2011 at 6:51pm
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I know that numb feeling oh so well, its been a week and a half since I miscarried our precious wee bundle at what would have been 9 weeks. The hardest part for me is that DH doesnt want to try again so that was the last chance of having a week girl with him and a younger sibling to Riley as my older two kids are 9 and 12. Im 36 in May so know that if I ever convince DH we should try again I will be close if not at 37 by the birth so understand your worries about your age.
I'm with the other ladies, go and have a talk to your gp and see what they reccomend. ------------- 
Angel March 2011
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Posted By: KarenMae
Date Posted: 16 March 2011 at 9:36am
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I am so sorry for your loss - I lost my second 11 days ago.... both were at 4 weeks 3 days....
My doctor is great - she considers them to be early miscarriages, and has asked me to do further testing. I have already done all the basic testing which was okay, but I now have to do testing for Lupus, Thyroid (did this before and it was okay) and Anti Coagulant testing. This is to be done in 4 weeks. Then I am being referred to recurrent miscarriage clinic. Depending on results I will then be referred for Karyotype testing. So go to your doctor and get them to start testing you... PM me if you have any questions... Big hugs to you ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: pikelets
Date Posted: 16 March 2011 at 6:54pm
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Thanks Ladies - you are all so kind. I am also so sorry to hear about your losses
I went to my DR yesterday. This is how it went, not well in my opinion... I was teary and told him what had happened. DR: Sooo you actually want a baby? Me: Yes we do want a baby. DR: Ok so you definitely want another baby??? Me: YES! (WTF??? was going on in my mind!) So I told him about how I read it was a chemical pg as so early but I am panicking as we had probs with conceiving DS and now I am on a time limit with my age and I was suggested by MW to start to have some blood tests done and thats what Im hear for even if for). Dr: so where did you read all that anyway about a "chemical pg"? (then starts looking on his computer) Me : I said miscarriage support auckland Dr: oh let me see if I can find it, oh I have found this website, it says....oh no, its american, oh now i have found one... (Anyway by now I was getting really upset and angry) Dr: ok well they suggest a lot of tests! Heres your form, check with your insurance and then I'll refer to an ob. Then I went to get the tests done.....the lady said....ooohh you need quite a lot of tubes taken, do you usually faint? WTF?? was in my mind again. This made me very nervous so after the 5 (or 6th) tube, I couldn't take it anymore and made her stop! I had to lay on the floor while she opened the door to the waiting room to copy the form. I then went back today for another 2 tubes! What tests did you have done?? Was it a quizillion? I really need a new dr coz this one does my head in and has made me so upset about it! And I don't know if your dr asked you this but maybe it was the way he asked me (and it happened the first MC too with the scan lady)....so do you still "FEEL" pregnant?? That just upsets me so much - are people insensitve or am I just overreacting here?? (sorry this is long) ------------- http://lilypie.com">
3 Angels - Dec10 / Mar11 / Dec11
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Posted By: Princess_Bubs
Date Posted: 17 March 2011 at 9:24am
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I'm so sorry Pikelets, there are alot of people in the medical profession with no tact and compassion whatsoever.
It's great that he's referred you for the bloods though. Your doctor sounds a bit like mine to be honest. I've asked mine questions before about recurrent miscarriage/asprin etc and he just flat out said to me "You know more than me I'm afraid, sounds like you've educated yourself in this area". Wtf - he's trained in obstetrics. Grrrrrrr. In answer to your questions - I had 6 tubes of blood taken before I got pregnant 2nd time, to check for antibodies and the usual antenatal bloods (weird I know, as I wasn't pregnant) and the other day I had chromosomal bloods done - which was just one tiny tube. (Df had them too, to see if we are a good genetic match basically) And Yes - I had my surgeon say to me at 9.5 weeks pregnant, on the day of my D and C "Do you still feel pregnant"? You aren't over reacting, There's no doubt a medical reason for it, but it is insensitive. There's better ways of wording things. Huge hugs and I hope you get some answers soon, let us know how you get on ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> Two Precious Angel Babies 2010 / 2011
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Posted By: AzzaNZ
Date Posted: 17 March 2011 at 9:33am
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Some doctors have the bedside manner of a brick.
We'd had tests done before emigrating to NZ that showed I had very low progesterone. After my miscarriage when we got pregnant again they wouldn't do any tests to confirm it so I took anything I knew increased progesterone levels as well as baby aspirin (just because it does no harm but could possibly help). You start feeling as though they want you to go through the pain of losing 3 babies before they'll show the slightest bit of care. When we found out about the missed miscarriage I begged the doctor to do a scan to make sure and he said it wouldn't make any difference so I'd have to wait for one the following week if I really wanted it. And then he described a DnC procedure in extreme detail including "vacuuming" hand movements. A$$. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
http://intermittentblogger.wordpress.com |
Posted By: Princess_Bubs
Date Posted: 17 March 2011 at 12:37pm
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Oh Azza that is awful!! Hearing things like that makes me so angry and upset !! I know Bobsta and I had a run in with the same woman at the EPAU in Greenlane and she said some similarly hideous things to us both! I can't believe they get away with it to be honest.
I'm going to take Asprin 3rd time around and want to also try progesterone (But no one will test me for it yet). I'll pm you and find out more, as I'm hoping to try again very soon xxx ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> Two Precious Angel Babies 2010 / 2011
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Posted By: KarenMae
Date Posted: 17 March 2011 at 3:27pm
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OMG Piklets!!!!!!
That is a helluva lot!!!!! Maybe you had a whole heap of extra tests that aren't normally tested for (at least in the beginning)...??? Not sure what you had done... My Doctor is on the ball and said that she (maybe try for a woman doctor) would just do the main tests, FSH/LH/Prolactin/Estidol on CD3 - one tube of blood, and progesterone/thyroid on 7DPO - one tube of blood. All came back in normal levels. Maybe they tested you for one of everything since your doctor didn't know better. Down side - lots of tubes of blood, upside you have been tested for everything... Not sure how many tubes will be required for my next lot of bloods, Thyroid/Prolactin/Cadiolipin/Lupus/Anticoag. After this I get referred to specialist who may or may not require more bloodwork - but my doctor called the specialist and explained my case and the above tests were what he said he would test for.... so effectively the doctor has saved me the cost of one appointment - she is great... My situation FYI - I'm 34 next month, DH is 40. DH has a daughter with previous partner. Have been trying for 6 cycles and got UTD on 2 occasions, lost both very early. So don't have a problem getting pregnant, just staying pregnant. Trying for my first. Had ultrasound and found 1 small fibroid which Dr said shouldn't hinder my fertility as only small... have abnormal bleeding and long cycles... so I'm old and have less chances!!!! Lovely!!!!  ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: didi99
Date Posted: 17 March 2011 at 4:18pm
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Pikelets so sorry to see you have had another loss.
If I were in your shoes I would definately try to see a specialist, hopefully your insurance covers it but if not I don't think it is actually too bad (and I guess any price is worth it if it stops another mc). The fact that you have had all the tests done through your doc will save you time and $$'s at the specialist too which is all good. (so even though your doc sounds like a tool you can thank him for that) I have had heaps of bloods taken for MC testing I think after my 2nd I got some my naturopath had suggested and it was 7 or 8 viles. This time round the miscarrige clinic in greenlane have had me do a whole lot more and I think it was another 8 viles again plus back for 1 more on CD2-3. So yeah completely normal to have that much taken hun and although it is nasty having them taken at least you are obviously being tested for heaps of stuff. Really hope you find an amazing specialist and go on to have a perfect pregnancy next time. ------------- Angel Babies Nov 09, May 10, Dec 10
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Posted By: pikelets
Date Posted: 17 March 2011 at 5:42pm
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OMG you ladies are so awesome! I wish I could give each of you a big hug
It sux to hear that these professionals can be so damn right rude. Next time someone says something like that Im going to point it out to them! 
Thanks for your advice and experiences. It really does help to know Im not the only one feeling this way or going through this. Azza and Princessbubs - we are all on the shore - maybe we have the same dr! I have been meaning to get a female one for ages so I think its time for a change.------------- http://lilypie.com">
3 Angels - Dec10 / Mar11 / Dec11
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Posted By: Orca1
Date Posted: 17 March 2011 at 7:42pm
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Sorry to hear of your experience with your doctor. Its a difficult enough time without having to deal with a total lack of sensitivity. Its important to find a doctor that you are comfortable with so might be time for a change.
After #3 m/c I was sent for blood test and they took 10 viles!!! Good luck with your journey. ------------- DD born 2008 Oct 2009, April 2010, Dec 2010, June 20117 x IVF/ICSI/PGD = BFN |
Posted By: Princess_Bubs
Date Posted: 18 March 2011 at 9:29am
Richard at Glenfield Medical centre ?
For the most part I have found him good though. My last doctor in St Heliers was a shocker, it took me 10 years to notice though. It wasn't until I took df along and he pointed out to me that she was googling my problems that I really realised something was up
I hope things get much much better for you soon Pikelets. Miscarriage is the pits xxxx ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> Two Precious Angel Babies 2010 / 2011
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Posted By: AzzaNZ
Date Posted: 18 March 2011 at 9:33am
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Is Glenfield Medical Centre the White Cross on Glenfield Road?
The dreadful doctor I saw was at Apollo Medical Centre in Albany. Have made sure I never see him again! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
http://intermittentblogger.wordpress.com |
Posted By: monkeys
Date Posted: 18 March 2011 at 10:19am
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I had 10 tubes as well ... which I brought upon myself as it was testing for blood clotting - as I had read that 15% of miscarriage has to do with a clotting disorder.
Apparently a few years ago they used to test for more than one thing out of each tube but now don't so they have to take more blood. The lady when I had this test done had no personality - I jokingly said "Am I going to have any blood left after this", to which she replied "Yes of course you will"... OH Really - you don't say - lol -surely she didn't think I was serious! ------------- 3 little Angels July 10, May 11, Apr 13
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Posted By: Princess_Bubs
Date Posted: 18 March 2011 at 10:29am
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It's at 452 Glenfield rd, just across the road and up a little from the mall...
I'll avoid Apollo medical centre if I change! lol Monkeys - I wonder if she really did take you seriously
(Ps: Found out yesterday I'm being made redundant! It doesn't rain, it pours!) ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> Two Precious Angel Babies 2010 / 2011
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Posted By: AzzaNZ
Date Posted: 18 March 2011 at 10:33am
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Oh no :(
Thats horrible timing Princess_Bubs! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
http://intermittentblogger.wordpress.com |
Posted By: KarenMae
Date Posted: 18 March 2011 at 1:15pm
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LOL Monkeys!!! I had the opposite, when I had my HCG levels taken the other week - the doctor wrote spotting/viability on my test.... I had red eyes from crying and was obviously very upset and the lady kept going on and on about how spotting doesn't mean miscarriage and I shouldn't be worrying myself - and she made me bawl my eyes out!!! Not sure if she was trying to be nice, but it was having the opposite effect!!!!
I am not looking forward to the blood tests I have in a few weeks then.... they are testing for clotting, so maybe I have to have heaps of vials tested then... and I am a fainter!!!! Will have to get DH to drive me in....------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: pikelets
Date Posted: 18 March 2011 at 5:47pm
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That sux Princess Bubs!! Sorry to hear that.
My dr is on Archers rd, will keep the others in mind when (i get around to) changing. thanks KarenMae - isnt that horrible! Can't they be more discreet?? Surely the blood people don't need to know what the tests are for, just which tests and tubes to use. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
3 Angels - Dec10 / Mar11 / Dec11
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Posted By: pikelets
Date Posted: 24 March 2011 at 7:43pm
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Just a wee update... I have found a new doctor who is just lovely and caring!
She is going to double check my tests etc that are sent to my old dr (once my notes are transfered over) and then put a referall through to F+ who we saw when we were trying to DS 4 yrs ok. She said as soon as I'm PG next time, to see her straight away and she will keep an eye on things etc. So I feel much better and more confident that someone is "looking after me". Now just have to get PG again! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
3 Angels - Dec10 / Mar11 / Dec11
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Posted By: Roses are Red
Date Posted: 25 March 2011 at 1:31pm
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I'm stoked that you have found a dr to support you Pikelets.
Good luck with the trying to get pg  -------------
Angel March 2011
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Posted By: babygiraffe
Date Posted: 25 March 2011 at 3:11pm
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Great to hear you have found someone that is going to support you piklets. I felt the same way after getting ourselves to a specialist - its like they can hold you hand through the tough times.
I hope next time around is stress free for you 
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