how did you cope?
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Category: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Name: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Description: Trying to get pregnant? Going through fertility treatment? Just planning your first or second child? There are many people out there in the same boat to help and listen and share with
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=38384
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Topic: how did you cope?
Posted By: MrsMc
Subject: how did you cope?
Date Posted: 13 March 2011 at 2:21pm
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DH and I have been married for 2 yrs. We agreed before we got married that we would wait approx 5yrs before having children.
Well the problem is I'm ready now! I try to forget about it, i try to focus on other things but the longing for a baby just gets worse not better, it's made worse by the fact that i work with toddlers. Its at the point now where i look at other babys and it makes me a little upset knowing that the only thing stopping me from having one is DH. I dont know how i am supposed to survive the next 3yrs feeling like this, but DH is just not ready yet. Surely someone else has been in my postion, how did you cope? |
Replies:
Posted By: nannikin
Date Posted: 13 March 2011 at 5:03pm
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hey MrsMc, don't have anything helpful to say but didn't want to 'read and run' as they say! good luck with figuring it all out, I'm sure there will be a few ladies on here who will have some tips for you :) ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Inkedpixie
Date Posted: 13 March 2011 at 7:47pm
| When I was studying, I got an extreme case of cluckiness. I agreed with DF to wait another 3 years, but on the condition I could prepare myself as much as I fancied. So I shopped for and handmade some baby things to keep me occupied - I found it helped in my obsessive times, and when I calmed down a bit I tended to leave them alone. I also counted down in months until I should start taking prenatal vitamins (minimum 3 months before ttc is recommended) and then when we could start ttc etc. Good luck to you and DH! |
Posted By: Sag76
Date Posted: 15 March 2011 at 5:21pm
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Hi MrsMc
I don't really think you can beat your biology. Anyway you can convince the DH to compromise to start trying in 18 months? (ie mid-way) Big hugs |
Posted By: RachFizz
Date Posted: 16 March 2011 at 8:20am
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I know how you feel, I've been feeling extremely clucky for about 2 and a half years!! I kept telling myself we're too bloody young, etc. etc. but the heart just wouldn't listen to reason! I've driven DH mad, but we're finally at the stage where it's not too far away..
Good luck
ETA: I didn't really answer the question- my main way of coping was prayer and trusting that God has given me this sense of purpose and will work everything out for us... but that's not how it works for everyone obviously ------------- TTC#1 since Apr11 On hold for study! |
It's a hard wait. Not sure what else to say except.. Well for me my sense of hope about the whole thing went in cycles- I'd hold onto hope one week being really optimistic, then it would seem to kick me in the guts and i'd have a few anti-everything days.. But then it would come back.. So let yourself be down sometimes but always pick yourself up again... You never know when they might change their minds and it seems to be when you stop prompting them unfortunately. If you needa buy or make stuff and your OH isn't too bothered by it, then I reckon go for it lol
Posted By: CrazyCass
Date Posted: 16 March 2011 at 8:29am
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We talked about having kids for a few years, to help pass the time away we set goals of getting stuff done around the house, paying bills off - having our big overseas trip. Each goal was no longer than 12months but it meant we were focusing on that and were achieving while we waited.
I'm also lucky My older sister had twins last year so I was allowed to 'steal' them when I wanted - and when your not used to kids, and 2 in one go, it takes ALOT out of you - great contraception 
Dunno if that helps, but thats how we ended up waiting longer than we'd planned, I actually had to say enough is enough and just went to see the Dr (I had an IUD) otherwise we'd still be putting it off - even though we both desperately want kids. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: MrsMc
Date Posted: 21 March 2011 at 8:40pm
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thanks for all the replies. I'm feeling better at the moment,but like you said it comes in waves.
I dont want to start collecting things as I know someone who did that then when it came time to start trying they had trouble and she had all this stuff in her house reminding her. We do have other goals, we have recently brought a house so theres things to do around here, i have a great job, we would like to travel a bit more. But honestly i would ditch all of them in a heartbeat for a baby. I'll just keep plodding along for now, maybe try to talk to DH about shortening the time before we TTC. He has in the past told me if i want it that bad we can, but i dont want to push DH into something he doesnt want yet |