Rant
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Support
Forum Name: Life After Miscarriage
Forum Description: Up to one in five pregnancies ends in miscarriage, yet for many the loss of a pregnancy is isolating and lonely. Share your thoughts and feelings here with others who have experienced loss.
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=38795
Printed Date: 26 June 2025 at 9:19pm
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Rant
Posted By: Bexee
Subject: Rant
Date Posted: 13 April 2011 at 4:48pm
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I always looked at this forum and felt so sorry for everyone on here - now it breaks my heart to be here.
Went for scan today and should have been 9 weeks tomorrow. It wasn't as expected. Infact I couldn't even tell if there was a baby but there didn't seem to be anything there. The women on reception (about three of them) each asked if I wanted a CD on my way out. For fecks sake. My eyes were red from crying, do you really think I wanted a CD of my empty uterus. I don't know what to do from here. Do I carry on at work tomorrow like normal after thinking for the past 5 weeks I was pregnant. I've punched the wall. Three times. Didn't help. I am so angry. And I'm angry at DH even though he's done nothing wrong. I don't want to try again ever now, but so desperately want another baby. But I couldn't imagine going through this more than once. Anyhow, I just had to rant. I know it's no different and probably less bad than so many of you have been through so feel guilty for even moaning. |
Replies:
Posted By: AzzaNZ
Date Posted: 13 April 2011 at 4:59pm
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Aah Bexee
I am so sorry :( That walk out through the reception full of happy pregnant people is agony. And the scanner should have alerted reception so they didn't offer you a DVD. I stayed home a few days, I just couldnt face work.  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
http://intermittentblogger.wordpress.com |
Posted By: pikelets
Date Posted: 13 April 2011 at 7:00pm
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Soo sorry Bexee!
You shouldn't feel guilty for moaning - we all need rants sometimes and what you have been through today and are still going through really sux! Big to you hun
------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
 3 Angels - Dec10 / Mar11 / Dec11
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Posted By: Emmi_
Date Posted: 13 April 2011 at 7:22pm
Vent away chick, its a horrible, unfair thing to happen 
If you need anything (including a rant) feel free hun, its what we are here for. Big hugs going your way  ------------- 
+1 May 09 Angel
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Posted By: Roses are Red
Date Posted: 13 April 2011 at 9:03pm
Firstly i am so sorry you are going through this  I had my MC beginning of March so i remember clearly the feeling of anger, its a normal part of grieving.
Secondly, at your scan was there nothing there on your scan or no sign of baby/foetal pole etc? Because if there is placenta etc you might need to go see your dr or midwife to talk about your options as you may have what is known as a missed miscarriage. ------------- 
Angel March 2011
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Posted By: babygiraffe
Date Posted: 14 April 2011 at 2:45pm
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I am so sorry about your m/c Bexee. I was angry and bitter (mostly towards DH) for the best part of a year after my 2nd m/c. It hurt more than I could imagine. And in between all that one of my best mates got pregnant, it was like a knife in my heart.
Your feelings are normal, dont feel guilty. Dont make any decisions about the future just yet, its way too early. Take some time out and be kind to yourself, things will start to feel normal again in time. I hope you feel better soon. x |
Posted By: Atiamuri
Date Posted: 14 April 2011 at 3:30pm
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Bexee...I know how you feel to have the excitement of a scan only to be given the worst news possible. The first time this happened to me, the radiologist was so wonderfully supportive. This time, not so much. She said 'well the GP should have done blood tests to confirm the pregnancy, go to your GP now and have a test'. Just like that.
Let yourself go through the grieving process, anger is a normal part of it! So is crying, denial. You will get to acceptance. It might just take a while but you will get there. Best of luck with your journey
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Posted By: tigger,roo
Date Posted: 14 April 2011 at 7:34pm
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vent away, so sorry 4 your loss, went through this a couple of weeks ago. i also know from my 2 other losses keepin it in doesnt help and this is a safe place to vent away. be kind to self and do what u need to do and feel you need to do at the time. big hugs ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
Angels - March'11, Nov '10, May '10 |
Posted By: Bexee
Date Posted: 15 April 2011 at 1:16pm
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Thanks for the support guys.
My final vent, I promise, but why did nobody tell me how much it would hurt physically? I started bleeding properly yesterday and last night I felt like I was in labour again. Poor hubby was terrified, I could barely move, had the shivers, and was panting away like in labour. It was a horrendous few hours! Anyway, moving on. |
Posted By: Atiamuri
Date Posted: 15 April 2011 at 1:25pm
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Yep Bexee, it hurts.
I had misoprostol both times (most recent 2 days ago) and good lord. I too couldn't move, shivered, panted, etc etc. I was so pleased to be in hospital - the first time I had morphine and entonox, this time a shot in the bum of pethidine. Didn't particularly help with the pain but did give me a wonderful sleep after. I think noone wants to tell you to not scare me. I remember my Aunty saying afterwards 'that's why I was hoping you'd go for D&C'... I didn't fully realise that I would go through a labour experience to 'deliver' our baby. Now I see it as a good heads up of what to expect. Imagine going into labour having not felt that pain before. Well that is me trying to make the best out of a very painful experience. Rest up lots. I'm on day 3 now and still feeling pretty wiped out physically. Pretty hard for the hubbies to see us like that...they really don't know what to do. xxx |
Posted By: Bexee
Date Posted: 15 April 2011 at 1:29pm
| I know. I seriously thought I was going to have to go to A&E last night. Hubby wanted to drag me up there but DS was asleep and I didn't want to wake him. But oh boy, bought back memories of labour. |
Posted By: Atiamuri
Date Posted: 15 April 2011 at 1:33pm
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Poor you for going through that at home. I know my hubby wouldn't have handled that at all.
Hugs xx |
Posted By: Orca1
Date Posted: 15 April 2011 at 1:47pm
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So sorry for your loss. I can totally relate to how you are feeling at the moment and I know it may not feel like it now but it does get easier, I promise.
I felt like being told we had had another miscarriage was bad enough but having to go through the physical pain of it felt like an extra blow we didn't need at the time! Take care of yourself and as someone said this is a great place to vent. I got so much support from all the lovely ladies on here it really did help me. Good luck on your journey ------------- DD born 2008 Oct 2009, April 2010, Dec 2010, June 20117 x IVF/ICSI/PGD = BFN |
Posted By: Bexee
Date Posted: 20 April 2011 at 9:15am
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Thanks for all the support.
Ended up spending two nights in hospital where they had been on a drug to cause contractions (I think?) and had a scan yesterday which showed it had worked and all was clear so no need for a d & c. Also on antibiotics for an infection but feeling better. I'm just kinda looking forward to the actual miscarrage being over so we can start to move on. |
Posted By: Nadia
Date Posted: 20 April 2011 at 4:01pm
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Bexee- YOU SHOULD NEVER FEEL BAD FOR MOANING ABOUT LOSING SOMETHING YOU LOVED. I know how you feel, I misscarried at ten weeks with our first try and I couldent belive it could happen to me it wasent fair! If you don't feel you don't want to try again you need some time to recover! Give it atleast a month and then talk about it and see how you feel. Me and DH waited six months and were going to wait longer but we had a suprise and everything has gone right this time! Also I would have bitten off the ladys head if she had said that to me! Talking to your DH and getting support off each other is the best thing. You may not think it but deep down there feeling upset to! Chin up and remember you will get through this. ------------- [URL=http://lilypie.com][IMG]http://lb2f.lilypie.com/TikiPic.php/0UKrA9O.jpg][IMG]http://lb2f.lilypie.com/0UKrp12.png][/URL] |
Posted By: Atiamuri
Date Posted: 20 April 2011 at 8:49pm
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Hey Bexee... I know how you feel about just wanting it to be over so you can move on. I just wish people would stop bringing it up - I'm back at work, I'm ok people, just let me get on with life, for the moment my head is above water!
Sounds like you had an awful couple of days. Thankfully I only had to spend one night. I have a followup scan tomorrow and have a gut feeling I've still got something in there as I'm still bleeding fairly consistently. After 6 months of drama with retained products last time, I'm hoping I'm wrong. So pleased you've actually had yours followed out and sorted. Best of luck for TTC again! xx |
Posted By: Bexee
Date Posted: 21 April 2011 at 8:25am
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Oh Atiamuri, I hope that there is no retained products. Miscarriage is enough, without the drama. Can't speak highly enough of the docs/consultants I got at Rotorua Hospital though - I presume that's where you'll be headed?
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Posted By: GuestGuest
Date Posted: 21 April 2011 at 12:06pm
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Hugs Bexee!
Atiamuri, hope you are ok. If it helps I had consistent bleeding for two weeks after my MC and then bleeding/spotting off and on for another 2-3 weeks after that and I had no retained product. |