Young mum nervous about 2nd baby!!!
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Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
Forum Description: Want help? Need support? Want tips? Men and women share advice and tips in this supportive community
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=3895
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Topic: Young mum nervous about 2nd baby!!!
Posted By: Anjel
Subject: Young mum nervous about 2nd baby!!!
Date Posted: 27 September 2006 at 5:24pm
I am 18 years old, and already have a 9 month old baby..I suffered post natal depression with him and found out this morning that I am pregnant again, another unplanned pregnancy. I dont think I can go thru with an abortion....any1 got any advice? 
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Replies:
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 27 September 2006 at 6:34pm
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Eek!
Definitely find someone to talk with... counsellor, friend, parent, partner. It is possible to do it and do it well, but you'll need a lot of support  especially if you've had PND before.
I am a young mama with an almost 2 year old and found out I was pregnant earlier this year in February. I did go down the termination track, so if you need any support or info about that just let me know. Good luck!!! |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 27 September 2006 at 7:54pm
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Like Nikki said, have a talk to someone. It comes as a shock when bubs is young and you find our another is on the way, and it's unplanned.. I think for some even if it's planned it's still "oh my god!"
Take some time, think through all the possibilities and let it sink in a little too. I had PND pretty nasty after my 1st.. and was terrified I'd get it back, I didn't because this time round i made sure i had supports in place, I was honest with Mike about what i thought set it off last time, And i did everything i could to prepare myself emotionally for #2. In the end you need to figure out what you can and cannot handle, who can support you (ask them , it's hard and can mean you have to admit that you DO need help, especially with another young baby to look after too) and go from there. Good luck and keep us posted, the ladies here are all great for support no matter what you need advice or help with, any path you choose to take. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja 
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 27 September 2006 at 9:03pm
| i was 26 when i had my first (unplanned) baby and when he was 8 months I found out i was pregnant again. I was four months gone by then, so while termination was an option (I was in japan - up until six months is okay), for me, I coudldn't (espcially as they had just got through showing him off to me via scan). But, and those who were on Ohbaby will testify, i was absolutely terrified. I ended up having to change my life completely - i moved countries, then moved cities, quit working....and funnily enough I wouldn't change anything. It is doable...but scarey as hell, and I wouldn't feel right giving you any advice about what you should do, but we at Ohbaby are pretty easy-going, and supportive of one another...and also, i might add, pretty non-judgemental. so while I can't give you any advice, I, and we all, can be here to help you out...web-wise. |
Posted By: EllenMumof2
Date Posted: 27 September 2006 at 9:21pm
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((((HUGS))) I to had a unplanned pregancy with my son kalem when i was 21 and was on my own but the best thing i ever did was talk to people.
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Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 28 September 2006 at 8:03am
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Lizzle are you for real, 6 months for a termination over there? sorry i think thats terrible.
Anjel i just back up what everyone else is saying, find out your options, talk to as many people as you need to so you feel comfortable with your decision and good luck what ever you do. |
Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 28 September 2006 at 8:20am
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I agree with all the 'get good support' advice, Anjel - if your family are the supportive type - GREAT! If they aren't, look around at your friends and how supportive or not they are. If there's lots of practical help and a few good shoulders to cry on, use them and use them good! But don't despair if your friends aren't that kind either, because there's always places like Plunket, Barnados, Pregnancy Centre, Open Home Foundation, agencies out there that can put you in touch with kind and supportive people, and even groups for young mums if that's your kind of thing. If you've survived PND already once before, I'm guessing that's made you a stronger person now that you've come out the other end of it - I dunno if you feel strong at all or not, but I think you're bound to develop new strengths to get through depression, and you've got through it, girl! Scary thought, that it could happen again, sure, but that doesn't mean that it WILL happen again. And when you're thinking about your options - remember there's more than 2 out there! You'll know in your heart how you personally feel about abortion, so listen to that, because that's the same heart you're stuck with afterwards no matter which decision you make, so you want to be in agreeance with it! Adoption is another option, and again, at the end of the day you'll know if that feels right for you or not. Trust your instincts! ------------- Andie |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 28 September 2006 at 9:05am
| Yes Robyn. I'm not too keen on it myself. the pill has ONLY just been made legal - and that was after viagra. and the only pill you can get is yucky ones that screw up your hormones. So abortion is a little like a form of birth control. thats not to say everyone is like that though. My GF has a termination at 2 months and was really distraught, she'd taken precuations but was unlucky....but anyway....threadjacking again.. |
Posted By: ellabellame
Date Posted: 28 September 2006 at 10:28am
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oh anjel, you poor thing, you must be so worried!
it's a really hard decision to make, it would probably help if you did talk to someone. i'm also a young mum, i got pregnant when i was 19, i'm now 20 with a lovely 10 month old son but i recently had a bit of a pregnancy scare so it got me to thinking about what i would do if i actually was pregnant. if you do decide to have the baby it would make it a lot easier if you have a good support network like friends and family, just lots of people to talk to and help you. good luck with the decision and remember we're all here if you need any more advice or just a bit of support.  ------------- |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 29 September 2006 at 12:56pm
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when i was 18 i had an abortion , broke my heart and i still think about that baby everyday, when i got pregnant a year later, i knew i could not do that again, and so i have Caitlyn.
Now i dont know what id do if i had another unplanned pregnancy and i was in the same situation i am now (eg solo mum) because while i couldnt stand the thought of getting rid of a baby , esp now that i know what id be missing out on , in my opinion Caitlyn is already here and she deserves to have all i can give her, and i just wouldnt be able to at this time in my life, with 2. Goodluck in whatever u choose, and yeah definetly find someone u can talk to!...a problem shared is a problem halved or whatever |