Delayed Toilet Training
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: Toddler Times
Forum Description: Is bubs growing up and getting into everything? How do you train them to use the potty? When do you start feeding solids? Share your tips and advice here!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39183
Printed Date: 04 August 2025 at 11:06pm
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Topic: Delayed Toilet Training
Posted By: tishy
Subject: Delayed Toilet Training
Date Posted: 15 May 2011 at 7:37am
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E is 3y4m and still not interested in TT. She'll sit on the toilet before a bath but physically hold onto her bits and say " I don't want to do wees in the toilet".
We tried (and failed) a few times to strongly encourage her to wear undies but now that's a no go area. She's a stubborn child by nature and has always been resistant to change. So now I guess we're just playing the waiting game and are hoping that when she finally is ready it'll be all done and dusted in a few days as her only fear is the act of doing the wees in the toilet (or potty). Her twin sister was TT just before they turned 3 and has been dry, day and night, for the last 3 months so I guess you could say we're 50% done on TT which is a pretty good statistic for 2 under 3.5 
Anyhoo, I'm not extremely bothered about it all but I would love to hear about others who's kids didn't TT until older than 3, as all the kids we know are all TT now. 
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Replies:
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 15 May 2011 at 7:43am
| Daniel TT at around that age but TBH it's cause I forced him to rather than waiting for him. For him it was about control so I waited until I knew he would need to go and sat him on the toilet and made him stay there til he went. Did mega praise and hes been fine since. |
Posted By: Nikki
Date Posted: 19 May 2011 at 2:13pm
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DS wasn't toilet trained til the week he turned 3. He could tell you he was going to do a poo at 18mths, and at 21mths we had all poos in the potty for 2 weeks, but he didn't get when he was weeing at all then (and was getting really stressed about it all, and daycare doesn't help at all til they are in the over 2s rm). By the time he did get when he was weeing DD was here (right when he turned 2) so we left it for a few months, and by that stage he didn't WANT to do it. So left it off and on, and tried everything. And that week he turned 3 DH did what Stacy did with Daniel --- made him sit there til he did a wee. We never had an accident at all as he was SOOOOO ready. It was just a case of not wanting to / fear of the loo. He still waited for a nappy to poo (sleep time or asked for one, no accidents ever) for a couple of months then randomly did a poo in the loo himself and came and told us about it, so excited. Hes been fine ever since (never had an accident since that time).
Not sure if that helps! But I think its pretty common for boys to not TT til around 3, as thats when most I know seemed to get it, but all the girls closer to 2. I think being older they definitley get it quicker. But for my boy it seemed like he was never going to WANT to do it (happy in nappies!) even though he talked about it alot and sat on it, and knew which kids wore undies etc ... he needed a little extra shove in the right direction (I wasn't home when DH made him sit there!) ------------- DS (5yrs) and DD (3yrs) |
Posted By: JD
Date Posted: 19 May 2011 at 7:53pm
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My boy is the same age as your girl and is not tt yet. He is quite capable and has done both poos and wees in the toilet numerous times. He goes wees in the toilet everynight before he has a bath, and any time during the day pretty much that I ask. He just doesn't WANT to wear undies. Even though all his friends wear undies...I think its because he gets annoyed at being disrupted from his playing to have to go off to the toilet. I am just leaving it for now and will see if he changes his mind.
I did try tt a couple of months ago and I could keep him dry all day, but I figured that was just me being tt not him. He wouldnt actually ask to go toilet, it would be cause I was taking him regularly. Good luck ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: tishy
Date Posted: 06 June 2011 at 3:30pm
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Ok since I posted this we tried to do a 'Potty Party' day where there were balloons, cake,streamers outside the bathroom, little $2 shops wrapped presents for rewards, and so on. We got her into undies but she still refused to 'perform' on the toilet.
We tried pinning her to toilet until she wee'd and also tickling her. Both scenarios caused extreme terror for her, so we won't be doing that again. Now she's still in undies, and we've limited nappies to the bathroom/bed, so she asks for a nappy when she needs to do a wee/poo. At least we've moved in the right direction. This scenario even works when we're out and about too and Kindy say they will support us with this. Not sure how we're going to tackle that last step but at least this way I reckon she's perfecting her bladder control first. |
Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 06 June 2011 at 4:38pm
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have you tried removing all nappies all together? Maybe show her the packet & say when this runs out there is no more nappies? She'd only have a few accidents before she realises??
have you asked her what her fear is about going on the toilet like her sister? We've only just started toilet training here, been a while since I did the last one. ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com"> 
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |
Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 06 June 2011 at 7:47pm
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Jack was about a month shy of 3 when he TT, just would not go on the toilet no matter how many times I tried him on there or however many rewards etc were given. I knew he was ready as he had been dry at night for quite some time before that.
In the end I out the potty in front of the tv and reminded him to go every half hour or so. I think the tv distracted him from thinking too much about sitting on the potty. It wasn't long before we got rid of the potty and moved to the toilet. ------------- Lindsey 
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Posted By: Nikki
Date Posted: 06 June 2011 at 8:17pm
Tried that with Jake - he told me to go to the shops and get more! lol ------------- DS (5yrs) and DD (3yrs) |
AandCsmum wrote:Posted By: tishy
Date Posted: 06 June 2011 at 8:22pm
Tried this a few times and I caved each time. That was when she knew there were some for bedtime. Currently, I think this will be our next step and we can get rid of them at night time too as most nights she stays dry.
We've asked but get no response. I think it's just something foreign to her so is scared of something leaving her body like that. She hates not having control of what's happening in any situation. I think for now we're happy just to let her be, meanwhile dropping subtle little hints like how she won't need my help when she sits on the toilet on her own and so on... Plus her twin likes to remind her about where the correct place to do wees is
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Posted By: EmDee
Date Posted: 07 June 2011 at 11:36am
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O was 3y3m before being even slightly interested in TTing, though once he was ready it took a couple of weeks til he was fully toilet trained.
Def sounds like you're moving in the right direction, yay! Does she go into the bathroom/toilet once she has her nappy on? Maybe that could be the next step (once she is comfortable). Then move to sitting on the toilet/potty with her nappy on? ------------- DS 8 DD 6 DS 4 DD 2 |
Posted By: kiwigal
Date Posted: 10 June 2011 at 11:57pm
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DD is 3 in September and not even close to being TT. She tells me she has done poos in her nappy but thats about it |
Posted By: lisa85
Date Posted: 16 June 2011 at 10:54am
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We just started our two yesterday (Just turned 3 in May) and already I can tell that Esme will be harder than Hazel. Hazel is really on board with the idea but for Esme the novelty is wearing off quickly. My sister suggested a sticker chart. So this morning I ruled two colums on two peices of paper (one for each girl)and stuck them to the fridge. One colum is for pee one for poo. If they pee they get to pick a little sticker and if they do a poo they get to pick a big Dora explora sticker My two are sticker crazy so it seems to be working. It's only just going on luch time but so far no accidents from anyone and I haven't even had to ask if they need to go because they are so desperate to add more stickers to thier charts they keep coming to me telling me they need to go. -------------  
TTC #3 since Jan 2010 - PCOS MC April 2010 |
Posted By: tishy
Date Posted: 28 July 2011 at 10:11pm
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Well we've now progressed to getting her to sit on the toilet with the lid down and her pullup on.
We haven't pressured her in any way but would casually suggest options and hope that she would agree. I think she'll progress to sitting on the actual seat this weekend as we've shown her the lollies she'll get if she does 
Once she decides to break the seal we'll be sorted. She's already dry at night and has impeccable bladder control. |
Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 29 July 2011 at 7:07am
| Ive heard about people cutting a hole in the pullup- maybe this could be an extra step, if she doesnt take well to having the whole nappy off just yet. |
Posted By: catisla
Date Posted: 30 July 2011 at 9:05am
ooh now that is an interesting idea - may just try it! ------------- |
Posted By: tishy
Date Posted: 01 August 2011 at 10:42pm
Oooh I'll keep that in mind Kellz. We've progressed to sitting on the seat (not even an insert) but still a pullup. We keep suggesting no pullup but she automatically says no. She's a bit stubborn and needs the idea to come from her. Some carefully placed holes could be used to suggest that she's got too many wees for a pullup anymore 
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Posted By: Kate08
Date Posted: 14 August 2011 at 9:40pm
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Is it the bathroom? We've had real ups and downs with toileting over the last year, my daughter's now 3y9m. Near the start of it all, she wouldn't go in the downstairs loo. Then I heard her saying to a friend who was using the toilet during a playdate, "it's scary in there isn't it?"
I'd asked her loads about this and she hadn't responded to me! So my husband came home with a few Thomas the Tank posters which we put up on the walls and she was happy to go in on her own then. Good luck, it's a minefield. It'll happen when they're ready, however frustrated we get! |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 15 August 2011 at 8:28am
my boys were both over 3... gabriel the worst one! Gah drove me batty. Anyway!!! 
I really like the diane levy method best which seems to be the way you are going anyway. SHe firstly encouraged the child to do it in the bathroom in their nappy/pullup and then slowly progressed to doing it on the toilet in nappy and then eventually the child will get to the stage they will just do it without the nappy. I think the hole in the nappy is a diane levy thing too. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: tishy
Date Posted: 11 October 2011 at 3:38pm
Haven't progressed past sitting on the toilet.  We tried cutting holes in pullups but she cottoned on and then started inspecting each one in detail before putting it on
I got fed up spending a fortune on pullups so I resurrected the cloth nappies and now she'll sit on the toilet with one of those (with no inner) and then I pour it out while she's still sitting to help her get used to the noise. We tried to strongly encourage no nappy for wees but that just forces her to clam up and resist even more. We also tried to tell her she was a little baby again and that she wouldn't be a big girl until she did wees in the toilet. Unfortunately the girls are big into role playing so suddenly A having a 'baby sister' was great fun! 
So now we've backed off completely and every so often we'll try entice her casually with a reward of sorts but are not putting any pressure on her for now. |
Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 11 October 2011 at 6:16pm
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Have you tried her on a potty? You just mention the toilet so I wondered.
Maybe get a potty & start her out in the lounge? ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com">
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |
Posted By: tishy
Date Posted: 11 October 2011 at 6:41pm
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No potty allowed. I was told to take away the potty and the insert as she didn't need them anymore.
We have a friend who's due in the new year so we might wrap up the cloth nappies to give to the new baby before Xmas. I do wonder at what age I should be discussing it with the GP. I imagine she's still within the 'normal but very late' age range but I might bring it up next time I visit. |
Posted By: tishy
Date Posted: 19 October 2011 at 10:30am
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Just a quick update. We were out last week for an hour and I hadn't packed any nappies. When E stated she needed to go I offered that we put heaps of toilet paper in the toilet bowl and she agreed!
It appears it's the sound that she's scared of, so now she'll put enough toilet paper in to hide the water and go. Yippee! She's also now nappy free at night and had just 2 accidents in bed, when she woke up, but overall she's doing great and is completely independent. After 4 days of scraping poos off undies, we offered a nappy for that again. We'll address that one at a later stage
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Posted By: tishy
Date Posted: 07 February 2012 at 10:13am
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Well here I am again with an ending to the story!
Since October E had said when she is four she would poo in the toilet. We didn't push it anymore but just silently waited and hoped. Last Wednesday was their 4th birthday, Saturday was their party, and on Sunday she stated she was going to do a poo but didn't needed a nappy. Happy happy days! 
I'm definitely going to be choosing my battles carefully with this one. A bit of a roundabout journey but we got there!
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