discipline differences
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=3924
Printed Date: 03 October 2025 at 9:08pm
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Topic: discipline differences
Posted By: lizzle
Subject: discipline differences
Date Posted: 30 September 2006 at 8:10pm
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What do you do when your idea of how to discipline and your partner's suddenly differs?
I have always agreed with smacking. But with Jake, that doesn't seem to affect him. He will smack straight back, and I feel hypocritival saying "don't hit (smack)". Also some of you may remember the biting debacle, where my mum bit him back and he laughed at her. Anyway, hubby still believes smacking him is helping and personally I think it is when hubby is angry....but how do I say that!??? Today hubby yelled at Jake (for smacking Taine's head into the floor and making his mouth bleed), and Jake was so upset, he was shaking. This was really scarey for him. Now I'm not mum of the year, I yell at them and then have to apologise later cause I've been angry, but I think sometimes he goes too far. Now that is not to say he's abusive or anything, just that I think sometimes he is too hard on our not-yet-two-year-old. |
Replies:
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 30 September 2006 at 8:16pm
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Does Lewis use time out? (or does Jake get time out?) Maybe you could just offer him some other ways to deal with it.
It's hard knowing what works as Jake is a completely different kid than Han, but when Gaz yells at Hannah for doing something she gets so much more upset than if I yell at her... maybe it's the male thing. So maybe you could emphasise that his masculinity makes discipline that much more 'potent' (sorry, couldn't think of another word), so he should tone it down to match yours. Or just lay down the law and pretend you were anti-hitting the whole time! Geez, sometimes being a single mum is so much easier! |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 30 September 2006 at 9:24pm
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hmmm - its prob too that they so rarely lose it that when they do it is a shock to the kids. it is the same here sometimes too. i have never wanted my husband to smack the kids tho cause as a man it is too easy to forget to be gentle (even when smacking).
perhaps you could tell him that you dont think smacking is helping and even tho you know he disagrees you would like him to try a new method. perhaps point out too that he scares jake - that might make him think twice. (i asked hubby about this and he agreed that if i sd to him he scared the kids he would be concerned). best too to approach him before the next incident and never straight after - i did that once and it was a mistake cause it upset hubby. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: Jennz
Date Posted: 01 October 2006 at 9:31pm
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I wasn't smacked at all as a kid and didn't want to smack Charlotte- DH was and thought it was ok so I made him read a few parenting books like "of course I love you- now go to your room" and "kids are worth it" and "how to talk so kids will listen..." and I think they have been great. I often hear him using the strategies with Charlotte and it means we are on the same page as far as discipline goes.
------------- Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3 
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Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 02 October 2006 at 7:59am
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Liz do you get Little Treasures? Theres a thing in this months one about getting angry, smacking etc... I was kinda pro-smacking to a certain extent but after reading it think maybe not. Maybe make Lewis read it... ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 02 October 2006 at 10:55am
| i might get that actually. i always meant to joing the little treasures club but never got around to it. |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 02 October 2006 at 3:09pm
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Apparently the subscription price is going up - but its still $21 for the year for the next couple of months. ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |