I feel like I’ve lost a part of me
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Support
Forum Name: Life After Miscarriage
Forum Description: Up to one in five pregnancies ends in miscarriage, yet for many the loss of a pregnancy is isolating and lonely. Share your thoughts and feelings here with others who have experienced loss.
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39311
Printed Date: 24 June 2025 at 11:30am
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Topic: I feel like I’ve lost a part of me
Posted By: Guest_42457
Subject: I feel like I’ve lost a part of me
Date Posted: 24 May 2011 at 9:49pm
| I recently mc at 11 weeks I just can't stop crying I'm not even a person that cries I feel like I'm never going to get over this and I feel to scared to try again because I don't want this ever happening again . How do I feel better. :( |
Replies:
Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 24 May 2011 at 10:53pm
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Didn't want to read & run, I don't know. Old adage - Time??
I had a miscarriage last week at just over 6 weeks & feel completely opposite which is really weird. Mind you I have been able to talk about it with friends and family so maybe talk about it more, you do need to grieve, you have lost someone special. ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com"> 
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |
Posted By: WestiesGirl
Date Posted: 24 May 2011 at 11:20pm
IM sorry for your loss  Firstly, dont be too hard on yourself. I cried for days after I Mc'ed. I was also angry that something so special could be taken away from me.
Even months after I had the DnC I would read something or see something that would remind me of being pregnant and it would set me off. Give yourself time to grieve and remember your hormones will be going crazy too so you will still get the 'baby blues' as well. Time is the best healer. Thinking of you ------------- Our Angel July 08  Gone but not forgotten
And to complete our family, our princess has arrived 
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Posted By: Bexee
Date Posted: 25 May 2011 at 3:36pm
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I miscarried at 10 weeks about 6 weeks ago... I think it is completely acceptable to be sad/angry etc. I feel okay now - I'm still gutted it happened but I'm trying to think it must have happened for a reason - but that doesn't mean sometimes I don't cry out of the blue or still feel like the world is a crappy place sometimes. On Mother's Day we found out two friends were pregnant and that threw me. I guess just take each day as it comes, and if you really feel like things aren't getting easier then maybe it'd help to talk to someone. For me, telling people about my miscarriage helped. I'm pretty open with people if they ask - my view is that it still was my baby, and I will always think of it as my second baby, and I won't ever forget it and I kinda don't want other people to either.
Hope today is a better day that yesterday. And vent if you need to - I find sometimes that helps |
Posted By: JoLizzy
Date Posted: 25 May 2011 at 6:14pm
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I had a missed m/c in February, should have been 12 weeks but bubs had stopped forming at 6 weeks. At the time of course I was upset but I just wanted it over, so had a d&c. Emotionally I felt fine, a little bit sad but I just wanted to move on and get on with my life. I'm normally a very strong person and have actually found it harder to deal with as time goes on. I still struggle with not being pregnant and I cry a lot. I too am scared to try again in case I'm one of those people who miscarry a lot. I have to go for another d&c on Friday as I have retained product, so this definitely puts me off trying again. I desperately want a baby but have really struggled emotionally. A woman at work has just told everyone she is three months pregnant, I found it so hard to put on a face and be excited for her. At morning tea I see her eating hummus with crackers and I just want to shake her.
I don't think there is any easy way to deal with it, life is truly unfair. I'm so sorry for your loss and I'm thinking of you xxx |
Posted By: Luckymama23
Date Posted: 25 May 2011 at 7:28pm
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Hugs guest... Have been there 3x and I know it doesnt feel like it now, but it does get easier with time. You are totally entitled to feel like that,(I remeber after my 1st miscarriage I was finally feeling less heartache, then along came what would have been my EDD which felt like I had been thrown back into all the pain again) take care of yourself ------------- 2 superstars too many miscarriages 2009-2014 |
Posted By: kelzie_rose
Date Posted: 25 May 2011 at 10:16pm
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Hey sweets,
I have had three now and all three I had reacted to differently. But they all hurt just the same. The pain wont go away but it will lessen over time. Much love to you and DP, be good to each other xx -------------  Started TTC Apr 2008 With PCOS and a bicornuate uterus Our angel babies Jan 2010 <3 Oct 2010 <3 Apr 2011 <3 |
Posted By: Orca1
Date Posted: 26 May 2011 at 2:54pm
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I am sorry for your loss. I think that the old adage, time is a great healer is so true. Be patient and kind to yourself, there is no easy way to deal with this and even though it may not feel like it right now in time the hurt will lessen. Take care. -------------  DD born 2008 Oct 2009, April 2010, Dec 2010, June 20117 x IVF/ICSI/PGD = BFN |
Posted By: GuestGuest
Date Posted: 26 May 2011 at 4:25pm
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Hi, I had a miscarriage in Jan and was feeling pretty down for a couple of weeks after it. I found getting involved in a new project helped, it gave me something to look forward to which I think is important because the miscarriage changed the whole shape of the year.
I've also been focussing on the positives that have come out of it (not that there are that many) like the fact that I can work longer and so we will have more paid off the mortgage before we have a baby. It does get easier. Look after yourself. |
Posted By: catie
Date Posted: 03 June 2011 at 1:23pm
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I've just lost our bubbas.
Two embryos conceived through IVF - our only hope - both implanted. First scan last week at fert clinic showed one strong 'perfect' heartbeat and something else that 'might' have been the other emby that was placed. But HCG levels weren't quite what they should have been, so had another BT on Monday - which was better, So went to 2nd scan on Tuesday feeling relaxed and excited - and the heartbeat was gone! Specialist confirmed that there had been one that had stopped developing at about 5 weeks, and this one stopped beating late last week, at about 7 and a half. Had another scan at radiologists to confirm, and a D & C yesterday rather than having to wait for a MSC. But made them do another scan beforehand because I couldn't quite believe it. I know people will say it's just my imagination, but i could feel them - I knew all along that both had implanted and one was stronger than the other but I didn't know when they'd died, they felt the same to me. I could still feel them lying on the table in the theatre before they knocked me out. and now I'm just EMPTY!!!!!!!!!!! |
Posted By: Isabella
Date Posted: 05 June 2011 at 5:35pm
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Oh catie - im so so sorry
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Posted By: 2_ns_lol
Date Posted: 06 June 2011 at 7:39pm
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Catie - So sorry to hear your news! My thoughts are with you ------------- TTC#1 since Aug 2006 Me: 27 + PCOS + DH: 38 + low morph 12 x Clomid cycles 4 x IUI 2 x IVF ICSI = BFP on 2nd round! http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: catie
Date Posted: 07 June 2011 at 11:37am
hi Just wanted to apologise for, instead of responding to you last week, just going on about how bad I feel. I'd intended to try to say something supportive, but instead got carried away in my own self-pity. I hope things are starting to get a bit better, though it does seem to eb a huge roller-coaster of being almost ok one minute then in tears at the slightest provocation. We can only hope the 'ok' bits get longer.
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Guest_42457 wrote:Posted By: rosiefarmer
Date Posted: 07 June 2011 at 2:20pm
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Catie so sorry to read about your loss. Hugs to you huney xxx.
I was told last Tuesday that our baby had no heartbeat, the Dr's gave me 3 options, D & C, tablets to start MC process or wait. We chose the wait option, I was too emotional to think about doing anything else. Its been a week today and I have still had no bleeding, I folded this morning and POAS and it is more positive than my orignal one beginning of April. I was busy all last week, cried myself to sleep the 1st Tuesday then havent really had much time to think about it, I still feel pregnant too. My DS surprised me this weekend with a visit and that was really lovely. Cried myself to sleep again last night too, after he went home. Caite nothing wrong with self pity - we have to think about ourselves ocassionally. I have no words as to making anyone feel better, other than try to be positive, grieve at your own time - take time for yourself. ------------- IVF - ICIS 1 - June 2010 BFN TER - Oct 2010 BFN IVF - ICIS 2 - April 2011 BFP 
31st May no heartbeat D & C ,
[url=http://lilypie.com]  [
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Posted By: luvmylittlies
Date Posted: 07 June 2011 at 8:29pm
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Catie it's a bloody horrible thing to happen so don't apologise for feeling sorry for yourself. Give yourself permission to feel like that from time to time because I reckon it's part of the grieving process and it only makes it harder if you try to bury your feelings. Take care of yourself.
Hugs to you too rosiefarmer. I just wanted to say that I waited with my first miscarriage(found out at 12 weeks that bubs had stopped at 8 weeks) but I felt very pregnant still and got to 16 weeks and still hadn't 'miscarried' so I went for a d&c. Sometimes your hormone levels can still climb slowly for a while - which completely sux and makes the whole process longer. |
Posted By: Roses are Red
Date Posted: 07 June 2011 at 8:43pm
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I miscarried our bubba at 9 weeks back in early March and I am still struggling to cope with it. Like others have said it just takes time, sometimes having a ceremony or something similar can help, I have brought a huge pot and an Orange tree to plant in it and I will be burying baby in it this weekend. ------------- 
Angel March 2011
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Posted By: GuestGuest
Date Posted: 08 June 2011 at 11:08am
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Big Hugs to you Catie and Rosiefarmer.
Rosie, everyone is different but I didn't start bleeding until 10 wks and found out the embyro only made it to 6 wks so you may have some time to wait yet. |
Posted By: catie
Date Posted: 09 June 2011 at 11:56am
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Oh Rosie, I'm so sorry, hun!
I'd seen your posts in the 'Pregnant following IVF' thread and was so pleased for you (though too superstitious to post there myself until we got the 'all clear' at the second scan). We got our BFPs within days of each other and have now had the worst possible news on the same day. 
We decided not to wait until MSC and had a D & C at Repromed - although it's cost heaps - I didn't want to hang around in the public hosp system for days and didn't think I could cope with a MSC either - passing the bubbas etc. Plus I 'needed' to have one more scan - I kept thinking that maybe baby had just been lying at a funny angle. It's weird - I knew deep down that it wasn't possible that there was a mistake, I had a scan at the fert clinic then another the same day at a radiology clinic, but at the same time I couldn't believe it. Not helped by still being able to 'feel' them. Nutty, I know. As it happened I've passed some 'tissue' anyway. DH is going to collect the rest of the 'remains' from the lab and find out about cremation. We're not sure what to do then, but we don't plan to live here forever so don't want to bury them here. So either scatter the ashes, or keep them in an urn to be buried with us. I'm not sure what to do with the other bits, which are now in the freezer. I panicked and didn't know what else to do, but didn't want to just flush it either. God it's depressing! But Tauris, the orange tree sounds like a nice idea. I'm not sure that there'll actually be enough to cremate, IYKWIM. We'll see. The weirdest things set me off - went to the s'market by myself for the first time yesterday, which was really hard. Kept wanting to yell at people for not having their baby dressed warmly enough, for letting their toddler stand up in the trolley, etc. and spent the rest of the time trying not to look at baby stuff which seemed to be in the specials bins everywhere. And every single f'ing TV programme seems to be about babies or pregnancy! But the only thing to do is try not to dwell on it and keep busy and let the grieving happen I guess. I think this will be my last visit to this site. So thanks for your support, and my very best wishes to everyone, whether you're lucky enough to have completed your family, have the courage to keep trying, or (like us) are trying to accept that it's just not going to happen.
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Posted By: pikelets
Date Posted: 10 June 2011 at 6:40pm
Im so sorry ladies. Life really has its down moments sometimes 
------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
3 Angels - Dec10 / Mar11 / Dec11
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Posted By: Orca1
Date Posted: 11 June 2011 at 12:43pm
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I cannot believe I am back in here having to take my own advice of a few weeks ago!!!!!
I had a scan at 8 weeks and saw a strong heartbeat and two weeks later nothing. I am now waiting to miscarry naturally although if it doesn't happen by next week I think I will have a D&C. I feel yet again my body has let me down and to add to that pain I still feel so pregnant. I really just need this to be over. ------------- DD born 2008 Oct 2009, April 2010, Dec 2010, June 20117 x IVF/ICSI/PGD = BFN |
Posted By: pikelets
Date Posted: 11 June 2011 at 7:52pm
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Im so sorry to hear that Orca1. I don't know what to say but just want to give you a big
------------- http://lilypie.com">
3 Angels - Dec10 / Mar11 / Dec11
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