sleeping and self settling
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Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
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Topic: sleeping and self settling
Posted By: fletch
Subject: sleeping and self settling
Date Posted: 20 June 2011 at 11:56am
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So what is the best way to teach your baby to self settle??
My little one is 5 months and and still needs help to sleep (rocking feeding singing etc) I have read many ways to overcome this but have no idea where to begin. As soon as I put her in her sleeping bag the screaming begins until she throws up. I have tried the shunting (baby whisper) verbal reassurance, letting her cry - but she hell screams. I would love some other ideas, modifications or advice. I feel at my wits end!  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Replies:
Posted By: Hopes
Date Posted: 20 June 2011 at 12:18pm
Well, my opinion isn't popular or fun, but as I see it the only way she's going to learn to settle herself is to cry a bit first. She's not used to doing it that way, and it's all a bit strange and unusual, and she'll take a while to get used to it. In the meantime, she'll let you know it's strange and unusual and she's not happy! I do the verbal reassurance thing - to be frank, I don't think Jacob notices any difference between me popping in every so often to reassure him I'm there and I love him and me being totally out of the picture, but it makes me feel a bit better about listening to him. When he has a change (like when I took his dummy away, or when I had to stop wrapping him because it got dangerous) he'll usually have one nightmare day (perhaps a two-hour cry  ), and then a couple of days that are slightly worse than usual, then he's fine.
In saying that, if you can't stand to let Gemma cry, I wouldn't stress too much about rocking her to sleep. She'll grow out of it one day. It really comes down to what you cant stand more - having to keep rocking her, or having a bit of a battle to stop. -------------   
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Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 20 June 2011 at 2:31pm
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Personally I don't like CC/CIO, tried it with Ben and hated it. Self settling is a skill that kids need to learn just like talking, walking etc etc. To be able to go to sleep you need to be able to relax and kids don't necessarily know how to do that and need to be taught - plus crying just winds them up rather than relaxes them. Personally I prefer Elizabeth pantley and Pinky McKay's methods.
It is a bit hard to know what to suggest without knowing your routine. If for instance you feed her to sleep then I would start by stopping that. Elizabeth Pantley has a gentle removal method or you could try substituting with a dummy altho you will have to get rid of that at some stage later on. After stopping the feeding to sleep you could try reducing the rocking. Not sure if this is a help as it may not match what you are doing now. Good luck ------------- Lindsey 
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Posted By: E&L+1
Date Posted: 20 June 2011 at 3:36pm
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I tried verbal reassurance for 6 weeks with no success, the no cry sleep solution for about 3 months with limited success as well as a few others that I can't remember the names of.
I was finally successful by using CIO at about 14/15 months after reading 'the sleep book'. Prior to this we had at least 1-2 wake ups per night. Next baby I'll try the gentle techniques again first but will use CIO much younger if we have the same sort of settling issues. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: reeces_mum
Date Posted: 20 June 2011 at 9:19pm
| I had the book "Sleep right, sleep tight" - OMG what a bible. I started the settling techniques from birth, but it also gives great solutions for sorting problems later. Great thing this book had was a 24 hour record (a little grid for each day of the week, in hour boxes, which I photocopied) so you can shade when baby is sleeping, when she has a feed, wet nap, dirty nap, bath etc. It is a great visual way to see patterns emerging. It can make you confident that your baby is ready for sleep time - cos they dont understand that they're tired. Good luck! |
Posted By: KatzWtgn
Date Posted: 20 June 2011 at 11:54pm
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Hey there -- this comment might not be that useful for you -- but just another point of view for you to consider (and I really wanted to let you know that you're not doing anything wrong if your baby doesn't self settle).
My baby was a great sleeper up to about 4 months, and then started doing just what you describe. Even with feeding to sleep, he would wake up as soon as I put him down in his cot. Neither I or DH could bring ourselves to do CIO, so we brought DS into bed with us -- and frankly, this has been great. He still doesn't self-settle, but pretty much "self-helps" (I barely wake when he feeds at night) -- so we have all got sleep ever since. ------------- [IMG]http://lb3f.lilypie.com/rGG7p13.png] |
Posted By: Danda08
Date Posted: 21 June 2011 at 8:29pm
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We also did verbal reassurance when my girls were 5.5 months. It worked really well, quickly & effectively. The key is to be consistent.
Check out the Sleepstore website & facebook page. There is loads of info and support. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: JoJames
Date Posted: 21 June 2011 at 9:13pm
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My first was very similar, a right mission to get to sleep, he did settle eventually, one thing we found helped we having comforters, specifically a soft toy and one of those light up seahorses that played music.
Also putting him on his side and patting until he settles then leaving, if he cries leaving him for a few minutes then going in and doing it again. You will find something that works for you and they do settle down heaps after 6months. ------------- http://www.alterna-tickers.com"> 
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Posted By: princesspumpkin
Date Posted: 22 June 2011 at 7:54am
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Get the Elizabeth Pantley No Cry Sleep Solution & have a read. Five months is still very little - personally I've never used CIO & never will, and I have a two year old who is a fantastic sleeper...they do get there eventually.
Have a read of this article too, it gives you a great perspective on babies & sleep http://dreamparenting.com/assets/the-crying-game.pdf - linky 
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Posted By: 09_mrs
Date Posted: 22 June 2011 at 4:27pm
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Thanks for that link princesspumpkin, that article is a good read :) ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: fletch
Date Posted: 23 June 2011 at 3:29pm
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I have taken note of names, books and about to read the article - I suppose it is just starting an idea and giving it a go - maybe she is just not a sleeper!!
Thanks heaps for your ideas! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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