What to do..re: wedding?
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Topic: What to do..re: wedding?
Posted By: fallen
Subject: What to do..re: wedding?
Date Posted: 08 July 2011 at 2:02pm
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Hailey is getting Christened next weekend. DF's Aunty and cousin are coming over from Australia for it. DF doesn't know they are coming yet, we thought it would be a fantastic surprise for him.
But.. DF and I have talked about getting married when his aunty is here. She had plans on coming later in the year or early next. It would be awesome to do it while she is here, but I don't feel right planning it without his knowledge. I'm not sure what to do. Any ideas? We're just wanting a registry office wedding. I've got the forms and have spoken to the registry office person and they have space on 22/7 which would be the best day to do it. But need to book in soon or the space will likely be taken. Argh!! ------------- |
Replies:
Posted By: Plushie
Date Posted: 08 July 2011 at 2:22pm
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Oooooooooh DO IT!!!! I guess it depends on the type of guy he is but if you think he'd be chuffed to be suprised, excited to be getting married, and secretly relieved not to have to do too much planning then dooooo it!
(inner romantic, but not married so tainted opinion!) |
Posted By: kiwikt
Date Posted: 08 July 2011 at 2:28pm
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You are the best judge of whether DF wants to be involved in it. Does he love surprises?
My DH didn't have much to do with planning the wedding - although he did like to know what was going on. He would have hated showing up on the day and having it all a surprise. But there are a lot of guys out there who would love to just show up! ------------- Due 14/10/11 http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: fallen
Date Posted: 08 July 2011 at 2:39pm
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I know he wouldn't care much to do any/much of the planning. Not that there is much.. just fill in the form, go in with payment and book the day. But like your DH, kiwikt, I think he would like to know whats going on. ------------- |
Posted By: HoneybunsMa
Date Posted: 08 July 2011 at 2:53pm
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How long is she here for? How long does it take to lodge the form? I thought it was a couple of days or is it different with a registry office wedding?
Are you able to book it then cancel if need be? Or does that forfeit the money (which is only a couple of hundred dollars if memory serves me right) Maybe mention to him that you think you should get married at Haileys christening and see what he says? If his only protest is because he wants his Aunty there then when she is here say well how about we go get married? I'm undecided if DP would want to know? I think I would book it and see what the terms are for cancelling or if you can afford to not show up and lose the money if he said no ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 08 July 2011 at 4:17pm
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Yeah how long is she here for? Could you plan it, then mention it to him as soon as she arrives, then cancel/postpone if he decides he wants to wait? Is there time for that or is she only here a few days? Is it easy enough for her to come back later in the year/early next year or will you not see her for quite sometime after the christening?
DH didn't do much of the planning for our wedding but I don't think he would have liked it if I had planned it without him knowing. ------------- Lindsey 
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Posted By: fallen
Date Posted: 08 July 2011 at 7:12pm
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Aunty is here for 9 days. Arriving late Friday night and leaving midday the following Sunday. So I could book (and pay) and cancel if he decides he doesn't want to. It costs $170something so not a major amount of money. Legally there needs to be 3 days between lodging the form and the actual ceremony but to get a time that is convenient to fit around work we need to book asap.
We have already decided against getting married at our church as it costs $300 just for the church hire. Then more for using the kitchen, flowers, sound person and so on. And we'd still need to pay $130ish for the marriage license. She won't be coming back later in the year. It is unlikely we will see her until we next go to Aussie which is getting more expensive as our family expands. ------------- |
Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 08 July 2011 at 7:25pm
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So maybe you could arrange it for the Saturday before she leaves and tell him once she arrives so he then has about a week to get used to the idea of it being so soon ------------- Lindsey
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Posted By: ....
Date Posted: 09 July 2011 at 12:51am
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Maybe if the amount of money you'd lose if you decide to cancel is decent, you could just hold onto it and pay for her flights over later on?
That way you'll have more time to plan etc if you're not sure what his reaction will be? |
Posted By: james
Date Posted: 09 July 2011 at 8:02am
why dont you jus say wana get married on that date dont tell him the aunty will be there say you just want it to be you and him nice and romactic then spring the aunty on him when you get there ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 09 July 2011 at 8:09am
yip I agree with this I think its better he knows he is getting married than just turning up at his wedding.
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james wrote:Posted By: fallen
Date Posted: 09 July 2011 at 9:36am
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If we did do it it would be the Friday before she leaves so he would have a week of knowing.
The deal breaker has always been that she has to be here. All his family lives in Aussie. Ideally he'd like to have his Dad, Grandparents etc present too, but not really possible. He is closest to his Aunty. The amount we'd lose would only be $170, so not enough for flights. ------------- |
Posted By: fallen
Date Posted: 16 July 2011 at 4:28pm
Aunty is here. Wedding is booked for Thursday  DF is happy. Only problem is his father and stepmother were 'very disappointed and upset' that they can't be there. So want us to see if we can change the date  THIS is the kinda crap I wanted to avoid by doing it this way. ------------- |
Posted By: MamaT
Date Posted: 16 July 2011 at 6:46pm
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That is so exciting!!!!
Ignore the other family members, this is what you and your DF want and at the end of the day that is all that matters. You can never please everyone and just have to do what works for you. I hope you have a fantastic day!!!!!! -------------  
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Posted By: EmDee
Date Posted: 16 July 2011 at 7:11pm
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How exciting! All the best for your wedding!
Try not to let anyone ruin your day. It is how you and your DF want it and thats all that matters  ------------- DS 8 DD 6 DS 4 DD 2 |
Posted By: Richie
Date Posted: 16 July 2011 at 7:58pm
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Exciting news! And like the others have said, do it for yourselves and not for others. You will NEVER please everyone (Speaking from experience as we are getting married Nov 20th and gave everyone a year notice but people are still wanting us to change the date to suit them. So go for it and enjoy! -------------  
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Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 16 July 2011 at 8:27pm
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That's wonderful, all the best for the big day!! ------------- Lindsey
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Posted By: Mum_mum
Date Posted: 17 July 2011 at 8:31am
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Aw yay Fallen! All the very best for Thursday! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
 Angel baby - May 2008
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Posted By: Plushie
Date Posted: 17 July 2011 at 8:44am
| oooooh YAY!!!! How exciting, hope you have a beautiful day xx |
Posted By: Jaune
Date Posted: 17 July 2011 at 9:02pm
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Congratulations fallen! Hope it's an awesome day! Sounds like it all worked out really well.
Just had a quick question for you - I've always liked the idea of a registry office wedding, get it done and dusted with very little fuss... just wondered what you and your DF were planning on wearing?? ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: fallen
Date Posted: 24 July 2011 at 2:44pm
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Thank you for all your kind words ladies.
The wedding was simple, no fuss and fun. Just the way we wanted it. Regarding other people putting their oar in I think my Dad put it best... 'tell them to get stuffed, its your wedding not theirs, they wouldn't change their plans for something important just to suit you, they can be disappointed all they want but at the end of the day they need to just suck it up'. Jaune - I wore black pants and a nice grey top. DH wore black pants and a black stripey shirt. The lady at the registry office said she had seen it all.. from full on wedding dresses etc to jeans and a t-shirt to dress up costumes. ------------- |
Posted By: EmDee
Date Posted: 24 July 2011 at 2:56pm
 this!
Congratulations! I'm really glad to hear that the day went as you and your DH wanted it ------------- DS 8 DD 6 DS 4 DD 2 |
Posted By: Jaune
Date Posted: 24 July 2011 at 3:48pm
That's good to know - I've always quite liked the idea of a registry office wedding but had no idea what to wear! Congratulations! Pleased it all went well! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: fallen
Date Posted: 30 July 2011 at 1:45pm
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Ahahaha my new MIL has defriended me, DH and our son on facebook because she has just seen the photos that have been up there for over a week and seen that DH's aunty was there. ------------- |
Posted By: Jaune
Date Posted: 30 July 2011 at 2:01pm
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Oh no! That's pretty sh*t!
I take it it's her sister? DH's aunty? Sounds like he might need to have a chat with her... My Mum would probably kill me if I had my aunty at my wedding and not her! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: fallen
Date Posted: 30 July 2011 at 2:07pm
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Yep its her sister. Long story but DH pretty much considers his aunty more of a mother than his mother. MIL and Aunty don't talk. DH really couldn't care less that his mother has reacted this way.
And even if we had given her say 6 months notice MIL still wouldn't have made it. She doesn't work, is in constant debt etc etc. ------------- |
Posted By: Jaune
Date Posted: 30 July 2011 at 3:18pm
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Oh, well, no real loss then huh?!
There's always got to be some sort of drama before, during or after a wedding! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: rachelsea
Date Posted: 31 July 2011 at 9:35am
Aww congrats on your wedding! Sorry about some family members being silly, but like others have said, it's their loss!  ------------- DD 4yrs DS 2yrs http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: Faffer
Date Posted: 31 July 2011 at 1:26pm
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Congratulations! Sounds like you had exactly the day that you and your DH wanted, which in the end is all that really matters.
May you have a long and happy marriage with minimal interference from disgruntled family members! -------------  
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Posted By: fallen
Date Posted: 31 July 2011 at 1:52pm
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Thank you! It helps that we live in NZ and most of them live in Aussie. ------------- |