Why is it so quiet in here?
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Forum Name: General Chat
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=41049
Printed Date: 27 August 2025 at 1:02pm
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Topic: Why is it so quiet in here?
Posted By: AzzaNZ
Subject: Why is it so quiet in here?
Date Posted: 24 November 2011 at 1:24pm
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I'm sure the forum used to be a lot busier - where is everyone? ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
http://intermittentblogger.wordpress.com |
Replies:
Posted By: lisa85
Date Posted: 24 November 2011 at 1:38pm
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I'm sure it's mostly been the last year that things have really taken a dip. It used to be crazy busy now it seems we're lucky to get one new thread going a day. It's sad to see things so quiet. -------------  
TTC #3 since Jan 2010 - PCOS MC April 2010 |
Posted By: AzzaNZ
Date Posted: 24 November 2011 at 1:41pm
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It is sad. I miss all the chatter even if I do read more than I post! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
http://intermittentblogger.wordpress.com |
Posted By: lisa85
Date Posted: 24 November 2011 at 1:43pm
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Same here! Come back ladies! -------------
TTC #3 since Jan 2010 - PCOS MC April 2010 |
Posted By: EmDee
Date Posted: 24 November 2011 at 1:55pm
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Yeah I really miss it too! I do think it got to a point where people didn't feel like they could state an opinion without it turning into a big argument, so I think a lot of people just don't bother.
I really enjoyed it when people would state (and explain) their opinion even if it when against the grain of everyone else as it always helped me to understand their point of view. It didn't necessarily change my mind, but aided my understanding. ------------- DS 8 DD 6 DS 4 DD 2 |
Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 24 November 2011 at 2:16pm
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I think OB has been boring for awhile now & that maybe because a lot of the topics don't interest me or I can't be bothered getting into an argument over having an opinion.
The only forum I am interested in is the weigh loss one so I hang out there mainly but do check general to see if anything interesting is going on. I like the budgeting one also but don't think enough people hang out there to keep it going. Oh & I love to talk about Xmas but not many others seem to & with a month to go I don't know why 
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Posted By: Kelz
Date Posted: 24 November 2011 at 2:27pm
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It's really up to you guys to make the forums interesting....put your thinking caps on and start chatting!
Be prepared to meet with differing opinions - while we remind members to mind their manners, it's no guarantee that they will 
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Posted By: lisa85
Date Posted: 24 November 2011 at 2:31pm
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It's funny I have never really seen a thread on OB that I've thought, wow that's out of line! I have been on a couple of bigger American parenting sites in the past and the rare drama we have on OB is NOTHING compared to those on other sites
Frankly I love a good heated debate every so often. Since when was having different opinions a bad thing? I agree that you hardly ever see a good debate on here anymore. Perhaps that is part of it. Have we all just become too PC and concerned about offending others just by having an opinion? Have we gotten to the point where we are all out of interesting things to say and so have all buggered off lol. -------------
TTC #3 since Jan 2010 - PCOS MC April 2010 |
Posted By: lisa85
Date Posted: 24 November 2011 at 2:34pm
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I still love chatting in the multiple Mums thread through & obviously I love getting advice and support in the infertility section. -------------
TTC #3 since Jan 2010 - PCOS MC April 2010 |
Posted By: Tissy
Date Posted: 24 November 2011 at 2:35pm
around the time I joined there were a few threads that turned into a major b***h fest and a few of those posters ganged up with each other to do the B***hing and then everyone ganged up on them and called them meanies. after that I havent really seen them around much. I think if I had kids, or was pregnant I would have more to contribute than what I feel I do/can. and the few times i've ventured into the other sections out o the waiting to TTC thread i've gotten snarky replies to my posts (obviously because I dont have a ticker mentioning pregnancy/kids) and its almost enought to stop me lurking around and posting my input. ------------- http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/ABCD1234" rel="nofollow - My Ovulation Chart |
mummydee wrote:Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 24 November 2011 at 2:37pm
I'm still around, I lurk a lot cause I can't be bothered typing  I do like admin says "stick around to offer advice" well I hope the advice I've learnt over the last three years is of value
Should we start a debate on politics, now were is that little emoticon that is rotflmao lol Mind you in saying that OB is quiet, I've noticed FB is getting quiet as well. So maybe it's just a trend the whole way around???? TBH as well...I've got boring so can't think of anything to talk about, others are probably the same??? ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com"> 
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |
Posted By: lisa85
Date Posted: 24 November 2011 at 2:41pm
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Bahahaha I think I've gotten boring too Kels because the other day I was actually sitting here thinking to myself whats an interesting topic I could start just to get people going but I couldn't think of a damn thing! and lord knows we don't need another immunisation debate or breast vs bottle debate lol. I've had enough of those for life! -------------
TTC #3 since Jan 2010 - PCOS MC April 2010 |
Posted By: AzzaNZ
Date Posted: 24 November 2011 at 2:43pm
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I think the topics are still interesting (and I really don't mind people arguing... I think I told someone only yesterday that they were irresponsible). It feels like there are less topics being started and less people around.
Why dont we each go start a topic on the general board and get some talking going. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
http://intermittentblogger.wordpress.com |
Posted By: lisa85
Date Posted: 24 November 2011 at 2:45pm
I can commit to that Will get my thinking cap on and will start something before bedtime  -------------
TTC #3 since Jan 2010 - PCOS MC April 2010 |
Posted By: HoneybunsMa
Date Posted: 24 November 2011 at 2:46pm
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It's really quiet. Which is not bad as it has curbed my internet usage alot! That and I don't go on another forum which is crazy and people get their backs up about everything. I do so enjoy reading those threads however.
------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 24 November 2011 at 2:46pm
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But I don't know what to talk about lol....peeved at DH's
LOL ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com">
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |
Posted By: Delli
Date Posted: 24 November 2011 at 3:12pm
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I love a good debate!
I think one of the reasons it's a bit harder to have a nice contentious debate in OhBaby is you get pretty attached to the people in your Due In/Born In threads and so if you have a different opinion, you try not to get on the wrong side of them as it is very easy to misinterpret intent and voice of a post and you don't want to stop being internet buds or have tension in your group because of the two of you. Argh. And so the thread inevitably dies. Lol, I think one of the best debates we have had on here was an 11? pager on the Miss World Beauty Pageant of all things. Perhaps that went well because it wasn't so personal - everybody was far enough removed from the scenario that they could have an opinion without it being construed as a personal attack. Whereas debates on benefits and homebirths hit a bit too close to home as we are all invested in them one way or another. Maybe. JMHO (It's not an attack! It's not an attack!  )------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 24 November 2011 at 3:33pm
I totally agree there. I think one of the problems is when someone asks for options & then gets upset when they get ones they don't want & then they take it as an attack & get their peeps to defend them...its like seriously you asked & you are getting opinions but you don't want any that are not fluffy ones...then general is not the place to ask for opinions. |
Posted By: fattykat
Date Posted: 24 November 2011 at 3:47pm
I hate that its quiet in here because I like popping in while I'm at work and can't be bothered doing anything productive 
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Posted By: Delli
Date Posted: 24 November 2011 at 3:47pm
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Perhaps another reason (just speculating here) is that people like to come to OhBaby and state their opinion on a topic and have that be that - their opinion is enough. If they wanted to post in a place where their opinion was challenged they would post on the TradeMe Message boards (Lol) or somewhere like that.
So, if someone comes along and says "Oh, why do you think that?", they are a bit put off and think they are being attacked for having an opinion, whereas the asker might be genuinely interested in the reasons behind the opinion. Or if another poster questions the validity of the reasons behind the opinion, the opinionator resents having to defend their opinion because they think just the opinion should be enough and that OhBaby is not a place where opinions should be challenged - Ohbaby is a place for support and encouragement for people during all stages of babydom, not a place for debate and controversy. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 24 November 2011 at 4:02pm
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there is always a chance when posting a view in a forum that someone may be offend.
There was one not long ago that no matter what I said it got taken the wrong way but if it had been IRL & a friend I would of said are you F'N mad????? but obviously you can say that on here...pity sometimes, cause I think if you ask what to do on here you might just want an honest answer & not just someone agreeing with you to blindly walk into a fire... |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 24 November 2011 at 4:02pm
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I think its that the site is so much bigger and there are so many groups on here - you got your due ins, the TTC, the weightloss, multiples, general, cloth nappies, waiting to TTC etc... so i think a lot of people tend to stick to thier group cause thats what interests them most and they get comfortable.
Also most forums have a season to them. they will be very busy for a while then you have a slinging match, then the apology and happy to be here threads and the why is it quiet threads. lol! also things like holidays and the silly season can impact on if people are posting. I reckon come next year it will get busy again and it wont be long before someone gets upset and it will be all on again... Oh i did notice though there didnt seem to be a secret santa set up... ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: lisa85
Date Posted: 24 November 2011 at 4:04pm
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I noticed that too Bizzy not that I normally do the secret santa but I thought it was strange no one seemed to be doing it this year. -------------
TTC #3 since Jan 2010 - PCOS MC April 2010 |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 24 November 2011 at 4:04pm
OMG you could have started a political one - that seems to get people heated. opinions, handbags and fur have flown over that on FB even. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: AzzaNZ
Date Posted: 24 November 2011 at 4:06pm
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Yeah, the forum is quite large and separated into topical boards I guess.
My due date threads are fairly quiet too. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
http://intermittentblogger.wordpress.com |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 24 November 2011 at 4:08pm
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i must say i thought the tummy time thread was very interesting. but i nearly missed it. and personally i hadnt noticed it being that quiet, it just had less that i was personally interested in or that i hadnt seen discussed heaps before. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: Kelz
Date Posted: 24 November 2011 at 4:11pm
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Bizzy volunteering to organise Secret Santa?? ------------- |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 24 November 2011 at 4:16pm
LOL cheeky - i suck at organising. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 24 November 2011 at 4:28pm
in an effort to get the xmas spirit moving and to up the posting i have asked for ideas in the food section... will think what else i can post about but i dont want to be a serial poster! lol! i think i must have too much time on my hands as it is!  ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 24 November 2011 at 4:36pm
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there are so many threads that I forget to check a lot so I guess I do miss stuff that interests me..
& with my kids getting older a lot of topics don't interest me any more. |
Posted By: lisa85
Date Posted: 24 November 2011 at 5:17pm
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Yeah I have to admit now that my two are going on 4 I don't have as many questions anymore. I think most people looking for advice on here are first time Mums who are TTC, pregnant or dealing with those crazy first 2 years. Since my two are getting bigger I feel like my advice is irrelevant these days. I can't for the life of me remember how much milk they drank or what their sleep routine at 6 months was lol. -------------
TTC #3 since Jan 2010 - PCOS MC April 2010 |
Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 24 November 2011 at 6:45pm
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Ive definatly noticed its really quiet in here too.
I do get sick of the slinging matches, so at times avoid all but my due in threads. |
Posted By: blossombaby
Date Posted: 24 November 2011 at 6:49pm
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i think because (i had a look around the threads ;))- a lot of the due date threads are missing and it looks like they are all hanging on fb - which is a shame because the stop looking on here - i learn't alot from this forum , in which those ladies won't because they will be stuck to there fbook pages - while i understand its problay because of privacy - it is still sad.
The information passed around here is getting less and less, i enjoying have the odd lurk in other due dates to see what to expect next etc. i think also because msot people can access fb on there phone quicky. i come on from time to time but i always have to log on again and by the time i do that the child needs to be found or the likes off and i never get to post!------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Hopes
Date Posted: 24 November 2011 at 7:18pm
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I think everything has cycles, and I'm cool with it. Sometimes there seems no end of chatter and I miss the quieter times when I 'knew' everyone and could stay up to date with everything. Other times there's a bit of a lull and I miss being able to come in and have lots to read. I'm obviously just difficult to please
Maybe it's because I'm still in the baby-wrangling/producing stage, but I learn lots and feel I can contribute. But oh my goodness, I hadn't even noticed the lack of secret santa!!!! I guess it's a bit late to do one now, with all the matching and everything? So sad, I could have organised it if I'd just remembered we usually have one. -------------   
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Posted By: nannikin
Date Posted: 24 November 2011 at 7:41pm
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i'm a fairly regular poster, but really only hang out in my Due In thread - only venture out occasionally! i would be sad if the boards got any quieter cos i have learnt heaps as a first timer - even if i am only lurking at the time. sometimes i wish that the boards were a bit more private - but then i like reading about other peoples experiences so its a real catch 22.
my due in thread is quiet compared to others, and our FB thread even quieter! maybe there are just less people around who have the time to chat heaps  ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: UpsyDaisy
Date Posted: 24 November 2011 at 7:51pm
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I agree that OB is more quiet now especially in the last 3-6 months. I agree with what you had to say blossombaby about less information being shared now especially to what I remember 2-3 years ago. My due date thread has also moved to FB - they all went so I had to follow sorry! I tend to shie away from posting in a thread where it is getting contentious. But I used to lurk through some of them and learnt alot. Now if I remember the like button exists I can 'like' someones post when they have said what I would have - and usually more eloquently. I got an awful lot of support here when pregnant and a new mum it was so useful to have that pool of experience to ask questions of. I try to pay that back when I can and answer other mums queries but am beginning to forget just how many feeds when and sleep schedules also. I never did secret santa but 'think' wriggles might have asked about it a while back with no response. Sorry if it wasn't you wriggles
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Posted By: Kelz
Date Posted: 24 November 2011 at 7:55pm
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Secret Santa.....STAYED TUNED!! ------------- |
Posted By: Nothing
Date Posted: 25 November 2011 at 8:01am
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Yeah I started a thread a while back to see if anyone was doing secret santa, it got no replies :(
It has gotten way quieter on here, and I think alot of people have left in huff's over small things (but big to them). I still hang around but dont post as often as I did, and often dont check her for a few days at a time. ------------- 
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Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 25 November 2011 at 8:16am
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Mummybecks used to do secret Santa but that is back when she posted heaps on the board, now her kids are much older she doesn't' come on here very much at all.
I think Jules is right, we're not as free with our discussions on the internet as we're realising how public it actually is, FB included. I used to post status updated a couple of times a day or at the minimum once a day, now it goes a few days before I think of anything to say. ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com">
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |
Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 25 November 2011 at 8:17am
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I for one would like to bring back the daily chat thread. ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com">
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |
Posted By: Hayz001
Date Posted: 25 November 2011 at 11:56am
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I agree with Delli re: the differing opinions with those you 'know' (as in your due in thread). Esp now our due in thread has moved to FB, you feel like you know each other a lot more than in here.
I also love a good, heated, reasoned, interesting debate - so for me it isn't the differing opinions on actual issues, it's just the negative vibe that there seems to be on here that bugs me. Someone can post a completely innocent, simple question, and get really snarky, bitchy replies. So many times i've written a question or a response, but haven't ended up posting it because I can't be dealing with the snarky replies i'm bound to get. It does make me sad though, because I have learnt sooo much from this site! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: minipig
Date Posted: 25 November 2011 at 12:13pm
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It makes me sad reading this because I still feel so clueless and the information I have been able to find has been really helpful!
I'm quite lucky that there is a nice balance between my due in thread and facebook. Though it does seem a bit quieter now everyone is on facebook. Sad for me because I can't get facebook at work....  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: _SMS_
Date Posted: 25 November 2011 at 12:18pm
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Maybe someone should start some abortion posts or bf vs ff. haha that might attract people.
I just think its because FB is busy now and alot of old time members keep in contact via FB instead. -------------  
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Posted By: snugglebug
Date Posted: 25 November 2011 at 12:24pm
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For me, Ive noticed a lot of times someone has asked a question or made a post, then some person has come on and told then they are wrong for whatever reason, and I just want to say- they didn't ask to be criticised they just asked a question... I don't understand what some people get from posting things to 'correct' or criticise people- the thrill of being 'right?'. That's what's offputting for me. That I know if I post certain things someone will jump on and attack it.
There's such thing as healthy debate but healthy debate needs tempers and insults kept out of it, and people to not be on their high horse about what they believe and be open to others opinions. I understand being passionate and believing really strongly in how you parent but you need to be open to other ideas being right for other people in their own homes and families. A couple of times recently I have posted something and basically been told Im wrong or been laughed at which is really offputting and I feel basically done with the forum. Unfortunately this forum is not what it used to be and I don't know if it can be again... Im sure people would only have gone over to facebook if they didn't feel comfortable here as it's easy enough to keep up with if you like it ------------- Me 28, DH 29 DS born 20 Nov 2010 (4 years old) #2 due October 7 http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 26 November 2011 at 7:52am
I think it is called giving an opinion. Not everyone is going to agree with you &they should be allowed to say so & maybe that's also a reason why it is quiet in here. I have had it happen to me several times but that's life on the web... |
Posted By: newmama
Date Posted: 26 November 2011 at 8:16am
I think you will find that people think there opinions are the only ones that count its the same negative people everytime who jump on the hating bandwagon - can't be bothered with the catty backlash i get last time i checked this wasn't high school but some posters act like catty school girls ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 26 November 2011 at 8:28am
I don't think it is that bad in here....in the past it has been on occasions...I guess things changes when people leave & people join. |
Posted By: MissAngel
Date Posted: 26 November 2011 at 9:03am
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Blame Facebook. Facebook is stupid. I used to like lurking in the other due date threads on the forums, but now they've gone to facebook making it exclusive etc, you dont have as much fun!
I laugh at the threads where people hate on each other. Its the internet. They are words on a screen in front of you, get over it! lol. ------------- Alex, Thomas and Lily http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: snugglebug
Date Posted: 26 November 2011 at 12:08pm
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There's giving an opinion while respecting the other persons opinion, then there's just telling them they're flat out wrong. Internet posts can be so easily misinterpreted its so important to be careful how you word things and not say something you wouldn't say to a person's face in real life, I think anyway.
But yeah at the end of the day it's just an online forum, not the be all and end all in a persons life, you can take what you want from it and leave the rest which is what I do, it just annoys me to see this happening because it's true, we're not in high school anymore ------------- Me 28, DH 29 DS born 20 Nov 2010 (4 years old) #2 due October 7 http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: TracyL
Date Posted: 26 November 2011 at 2:47pm
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Also there are so many groups on Facebook that mothers/fathers post questions on instead of sites like OhBaby.
Way of the world I guess. |
Posted By: SophieD
Date Posted: 26 November 2011 at 6:19pm
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I have to say that in the 2 years I have been on this site, I can only remember a handful (if that) of threads where it has turned negative and nasty?? maybe I am missing something...
It's a shame it has gotten quieter in here. I LOVE coming on here and reading about so many different things/advice, I don't often post a question but I do read alot and store loads of bits of advice away for when I need them. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Shelt
Date Posted: 27 November 2011 at 8:12pm
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I lurk alot (and always have) but now my little girl is nearly 3 I don't really need to be asking questions any more. I have to say I have learnt heaps from being on here and I feel a bit sad it has slowed down so much. Even the single parent thread where I used to get a lot of support/inspiration has slowed heaps....I could post something but I can't really think of anything interesting to say... ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 27 November 2011 at 9:55pm
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I still lurk a lot but I'm lazy and browse the net on my phone (using the home wireless network) and OB takes waaaaaay too long to load, and isn't so phone friendly. I usually only come on now when I boot up my laptop, which isn't that often.
I still like the Single Parenting thread, but it's slowed down IMMENSELY. |
Posted By: newme
Date Posted: 28 November 2011 at 9:42am
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I have stopped coming to OB so much, cos so often i get very irritated by it nowadays.
Like people writing a post about their baby is vomitting constantly, and what should I do? It like, hmmm, how about getting off the internet and going to the doctor!! And people often write inflammatory comments, then when people respond they are all like "Oh don't attack me I just have a different opinion". Also there are so many newbies that it has lost the community feel. I have moved over to an alternative parenting forum. And I don't like the secret threads, the threads that have moved to fb, and the general feeling of cliquey-ness that goes on. |
Posted By: kelzie_rose
Date Posted: 28 November 2011 at 10:59am
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I personally spent so much time in one of the TTC forums, that I felt like the girls in there were my closest OB friends - but we'd always welcome the newbies too!
And said goodbye to them after they quickly got their BFPs and left us in the dust! And I did find it hard to post after someone had complained that they didn't get pregnant after 3 cycles, and I had been sitting there years after we started trying. That annoys me. And as some of us have finally got their long-awaited BFPs, I don't talk to them as often. The girls in my Due In thread are awesome, but I miss the girls who know what DH and I went through. But I check in on the girls still there every day, but don't post as I feel I'd be gloating, if that makes sense. I was also quite put off when someone in one of my past Due In threads, said they were pregnant, said they had miscarried, and someone who knew them in real life had called them out and said that it wasn't true. I appreciate that there must be something going on in that persons life to make her feel like she needed to do that, but for someone who was TTC for ages and have had recurrent losses, it was hard to read. But all in all, I do love OB and I post on here more than I post in our Due In FB page. -------------  Started TTC Apr 2008 With PCOS and a bicornuate uterus Our angel babies Jan 2010 <3 Oct 2010 <3 Apr 2011 <3 |
Posted By: GuestGuest
Date Posted: 28 November 2011 at 1:01pm
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I stopped posting because someone in the charting thread compared my IUI procedure to what you do to get a dog pregnant.
I still lurk from time to time to see my good charting buddies get UTD, otherwise I belong to a supportive FB group. |
Posted By: Bky
Date Posted: 28 November 2011 at 1:24pm
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I was a member of a larger (not NZ based) parenting forum. I have always found it tiresome when people tell me to go to Walmart/Tescos etc when I clearly display my location, though I manage to be polite about it. So I'm relatively happy here with a more local outlook. I've been through enough dumb forum drama to know what's touchy (both for me and for others) and avoid it if I don't want to get into it. Looking forward to having a due in group with #2 though... ------------- 7/2010, 10/2012 and 1/2015 |
Posted By: SethsMama
Date Posted: 28 November 2011 at 1:51pm
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I found OB invaluable in the first few months with my new baby (I didn't find OB until after I had had DS so wasn't part of a due in thread).
Most of my activity on here is lurking (mostly because I haven't been through things people want to know about or because someone else has already given what advice I do have.) I know we get a lot of similar posts but i think thats kinda the beauty of the place. That any parent can come and ask what is most likely a big deal in their life, and others can help them sort their way through it. It's also very good to hear that other people have experienced what your going through too! You don't freak out as much knowing that! ------------- 
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Posted By: MamaT
Date Posted: 28 November 2011 at 2:34pm
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I think it is a lot quieter these days as some of the "old hands" have moved on, for various reasons and there are a lot of newer faces nowadays.
Also, the fact that the same questions get asked over and over again, can get tiresome and I guess people get sick of answering so just don't post. It does suck that there isn't the same volume of posts anymore. I actually quite liked the heated debates, I learned a lot about the side of the story from them and learned to look at things from more than just the angle I was coming from, sure they got personal from time to time, but that kind of goes with the territory, it can certainly get like that in the real world too. You just have to learn to let go a bit at times I think. -------------  
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Posted By: Isabella
Date Posted: 28 November 2011 at 3:10pm
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I agree MamaT - I quite enjoyed the heated debates, was just a shame that it sometimes got quite mean - I think I myself are guilty of having a bad, long day at work and attacking people a bit more than necessary.
I also find that often the debates are quite one sided? The people who have views of pro-c/s, ff, working mums, etc seem to be the rarer members (myself included) and so when I posted something along those lines I sometimes felt really "ganged up on". Also, its so difficult to interpret emotion online. I really like our FB group... but without OhB it would never have been formed, and we all (mostly) still come back on here to check things out when we have time! Maybe instead of vilifying FB, maybe see it as complimentary to this forum. People are going to move to these more user-friendly interfaces regardless so instead of trying to fight a trend, go with it and work with it! :) Why not start up an OhB FB page? (not sure, may already be one) |
Posted By: AzzaNZ
Date Posted: 28 November 2011 at 3:22pm
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I'm starting to get jealous of all these FB pages I'm not on. Are they just due date ones? ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: kelzie_rose
Date Posted: 28 November 2011 at 3:33pm
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The one I'm in on FB is, yes.
Isabella, I plan to go back to work and start bubs on formula at 6 months old and I'm nervous about what people will say - but that's in real life too, not just on OB. I think a lot of people who think you should BF for longer, and are able to not work, can be too judgmental. DH and I sat down and looked at a number of different options, and for us, I have to go back to work. Can't afford not to! ------------- Started TTC Apr 2008 With PCOS and a bicornuate uterus Our angel babies Jan 2010 <3 Oct 2010 <3 Apr 2011 <3 |
Posted By: Isabella
Date Posted: 28 November 2011 at 4:06pm
Kelzie - I enjoy working and my goodness do I feel like an evil mother for thinking so! People say stuff like "in an ideal world", and like you "able to not work", but what is wrong with working? For me it makes me such a better person, and so a better mum for DD... Just like there are those who are proud to be SAHM, I am proud to be a working mum 
But you are right - that is the default setting I think; you are "good" if you stay at home with kiddies, and if you work - surely it must be because you "have to", not because you want to - heaven forbid
We had a 60th birthday here over the weekend and when people asked me about my working situation I got LOADS of comments, mostly sympathy because "poor you, having to go back to work", and loads of stuff about how DD would be unsettled and lacking attachment to me... Well by the end of the weekend I had SO MANY comments about how she was the best baby out there! She is so social, SO happy (laughs and smiles at EVERYTHING), and very, very rarely cries, has SSTN since 2 months old etc etc etc... Now that may be her nature, but I am sure I can credit daycare with how much of a cruisy, social butterfly she is
Haha - talk about off-topic
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Posted By: kelzie_rose
Date Posted: 28 November 2011 at 4:14pm
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[Continuing the off topic chat]
I completely agree! I don't have a high-up job, I work on reception, but it's for a charity organization that I support and love working for. We also plan on only having the one child, and being in daycare early means she will be socialized. (In theory.) Anyway, back to the topic at hand: OB was fantastic after my miscarriages. I didn't know anyone in real life that had had miscarriages prior to my first one. So it was fantastic having the support of people who knew what I was going through. ------------- Started TTC Apr 2008 With PCOS and a bicornuate uterus Our angel babies Jan 2010 <3 Oct 2010 <3 Apr 2011 <3 |
Posted By: AzzaNZ
Date Posted: 28 November 2011 at 4:16pm
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I enjoy my job and wouldn't be without it - but I do wish I could have had more maternity leave than I did!
Ditto kelzie_rose re the miscarriage support. One of the OB ladies who had also miscarried even came out and met me in a cafe when I was having a really hard time. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: EmDee
Date Posted: 28 November 2011 at 4:19pm
Me too! It took me a while to admit to myself that I enjoyed working (and now I'm working part-time it's absolutely perfect!) AND not feel guilty about it. ------------- DS 8 DD 6 DS 4 DD 2 |
Posted By: Delli
Date Posted: 28 November 2011 at 4:31pm
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OT also!
I loved my job. We could have easily done the one income thing but I wanted to go back to work. I never felt guilty for doing so though. I guess I was pretty secure in myself and my decision at that stage. And had come to the realisation that if you really look hard enough, you can probably find something offensive in any comment you get. So I stopped looking. Haha - I've conditioned myself now that a comment has to be really in my face and obviously insulting for me to even acknowledge that it is offensive. Even then, I feel that the remark says more about the insulter than it does about me.
(Unfortunately, we moved and changed careers so I no longer have my awesome job. So currently a SAHM (still choosing to be blissfully oblivious to any comments I get about that vocation as well!)) ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Shelt
Date Posted: 28 November 2011 at 8:11pm
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Also OT but I worked really hard to get get my degree, my postgrad and get my chartered accountant qualification and I wanted a chance to use that. I went back to work when my DD was just under 5 months and while I wish I had been able to wait till she was 8 or 9 months old I am glad I went back when I did. I am proud of what I do and who I work for and its part of who I am, just like being a mum is. My coffee group friends were somewhat horrified I went back so early but when DD got to about 1 it became an accepable choice, I guess because quite a few people go back after their 12 months are up (at least till they have the second child anyway!). ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Hopes
Date Posted: 28 November 2011 at 8:18pm
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I've gone back to work part-time, and I enjoy it a lot. Going back fulltime wouldn't suit me but I would be gutted to give up my two days a week. This time round, I'm only eligible for three months parental leave, which doesn't feel like enough, but we will need the money and I wouldn't want to lose the job.
I'm comfortable myself with enjoying working, but haven't managed to explain to DH why on earth I'd prefer to work a couple of days as opposed to being a fulltime Mum. He's very nice about accepting that I feel that way, but says he doesn't understand it in the slightest, and I'm at a bit of a loss to explain! -------------
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Posted By: blossombaby
Date Posted: 28 November 2011 at 8:38pm
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My partner doesn't understand why i would want to work either! i went back part time but then found a new job and ended back working fulltime
Its just me (don't get me wrong I LOVE spending time with my daughter but its just so much more special now!) i was always going to go back to work. The sahm lifestyle just isn't me - I love the corprate world! My partner has been working alot of extra hours to and after the whole weekend with the girl by myself i was soooooooo ready for him to come home on Sunday avo hahaha plus I would prefer not to clean allday tho it seems its all i do all weekend - i feel if i'm not working i should at least ahve a tidy house ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Tyrbear
Date Posted: 28 November 2011 at 9:56pm
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I miss lurking in threads so I can see what people called their baby, the 2011 threads are so quiet but the 2012 ones seem to have picked up again
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Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 29 November 2011 at 7:19pm
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Decided to edit,just not worth it...
But thanks Hopes! I appreciate your comment xx ------------- 
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Posted By: Hopes
Date Posted: 29 November 2011 at 7:27pm
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WTH? I think you're awesome Kelly, never ever rubbed me up the wrong way!!
ETA that I'm not an angel... there are people who do... but you're SO not one of them! -------------
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Posted By: AzzaNZ
Date Posted: 30 November 2011 at 8:24am
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Did someone tell you that Kelly? Or is it just something you think? ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 30 November 2011 at 3:25pm
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Nope not something I think -------------
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Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 30 November 2011 at 4:38pm
| what is this the cryptic thread |
Posted By: Danda08
Date Posted: 30 November 2011 at 5:36pm
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Cryptic those last few posts that's for sure.
Just wanted to say it's been really good reading the posts about you working mum's and how you enjoy it. I'm going back to work in Jan when my girls are 18 months and I have such mixed feelings but it's reassuring to hear how you all enjoy it and make it work. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Lucky apple
Date Posted: 30 November 2011 at 6:14pm
| Danda - first 6 weeks for me (and DD) were hard...but now we are in the swing of it, I love it :-) You'll be fine - just give yourself time to get used to your new routines! |
Posted By: T_Rex
Date Posted: 30 November 2011 at 7:44pm
Perhaps suggest he try being the SAHP fulltime for a week or two - that'd probably explain it to him
I agree with Delli. If you are happy with your decisions, the comments don't actually get to you. Sometimes I'm able to laugh at the ignorance of the person making them, other times I just think how sad for them that they choose to interact with others in that manner. And I'm probably oblivious to many of the comments too. I'm happy and I don't really give a crap about other's opinions of my choices, especially random internet people
I'm a bit of an oddball in that I don't subscribe to a single parenting philosophy as such. I BF, ERF, homebirth and baby wear - and I'm very pro-vax, I have issues with organic farming, and I'm a working mum by choice. (BTW, Kelzie-Rose, if you wanted to work AND BF, it's not so hard and I'm happy to give you ideas, but only if you want them!). Anyway, it means pretty much every circle i move in has people who think I'm weird for my parenting choices. I'd be a mess if I actually cared about all their opinions. I think if we were all more confident in our decisions, we wouldn't feel the need to push them on others so much, and wouldn't feel so attacked when someone disagreed with them. And I don't post so much cos I'm usually typing one handed and it's hard work! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 30 November 2011 at 7:49pm
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sorry for the cryptic posts,my original comment was about something I had recently learnt that was being said about me in regards to here,that I was pissed off about and then on reflection decided for other people's sake,it wasn't worth saying,so I edited.
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Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 30 November 2011 at 8:06pm
no probs
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Posted By: Tyrbear
Date Posted: 30 November 2011 at 8:56pm
That's very nice, I don't know you but I used to lurk in your Jan/feb 2011 threads when I was on maternity leave as your posts were always amusing ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: germany
Date Posted: 01 December 2011 at 6:08am
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I often forget about the other parts of OB as I tend to read/post in my due date thread - which has it's own FB group but is still one of the most active ones of 2010 I think.
I also used to love to read all other threads and am sad they have moved to private FB groups. Re secret santa - other than my due date thread and another group I don't feel like I know other OB members well enough for something like that. |
Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 01 December 2011 at 1:44pm
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aw thanks Tyrbear
congrats on your pregnancy! -------------
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Posted By: Lucky apple
Date Posted: 01 December 2011 at 1:47pm
Me too!! |