3 year old still in nappies
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Topic: 3 year old still in nappies
Posted By: GuestGuest
Subject: 3 year old still in nappies
Date Posted: 03 January 2012 at 6:19am
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Is this the norm?
My 3 year old niece is still in nappies and not even capable of telling us when it is wet. I have always thought that toilet training happened when they are 2? It just seems strange to me as I haven't known any other 3 year olds to be still in nappies apart from wearing them at night. |
Replies:
Posted By: EmDee
Date Posted: 03 January 2012 at 7:25am
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Some kids are just ready to toilet train later than others.
My eldest was just over 3 when he was ready (and took 2 weeks), my 2nd was a few months shy of 3 and just seemed to decide that she was ready and literally seemed to take 2 days 
I know of other kids who are ready before 2 and I know some parents seem to prefer to do it when they (the parents) are ready. Like anything, all kids/parents/familiies are different  ------------- DS 8 DD 6 DS 4 DD 2 |
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 03 January 2012 at 7:31am
| Daniel was well over 3 before he was TT during the day, night time, he still isn't *sigh* and we tried earlier than 3 but got no where |
Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 03 January 2012 at 8:05am
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That was the one thing I never bothered about. I left it up to my kids & not an "age".
My FIL went on & on about it with DS1 saying he should be toilet trained, he was 2yrs, he wasn't ready & I believe in letting the child do it when ready. DS1's cousin who is a few mths younger was out of nappies so FIL thought DS1 should be. When DS1 was ready we had no accidents in his pants & when he was out of night nappies we had no wet beds...same for all 3 of my kids. But DS1's cousin had accidents in his pants several times a day & wet his bed for yrs...so I did throw that in FIL face when he started up about DS2 & toilet training. The other thing with all my kids was they did not use the potty for long as they preferred the toilet. I never parented out of a book so ages & stages never bothered me, I preferred to let my kids lead & I think that is why they are more laid back & less stressed...than say compared to their cousins. |
Posted By: EmDee
Date Posted: 03 January 2012 at 8:40am
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I admit with my eldest, I used to worry that he was too old and what would people think?! But once he was ready it happened really easily and I then thought I'd rather wait until my kids are ready than be stressing over trying to train them, especially after seeing the struggle some friends had. ------------- DS 8 DD 6 DS 4 DD 2 |
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 03 January 2012 at 9:24am
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My niece was still in pull ups at night till she was 4 everyone is different and its when they're ready and able. Some kids still wet the bed till they're 6 or 7 ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 03 January 2012 at 10:00am
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Little girl I look after is about to turn three & she's no where near ready & she sees my boy who's the same age going to the toilet.
My nephew was still wearing pulls ups at night when he stayed with us & I'm sure he was over 5yo. ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com"> 
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |
Posted By: james
Date Posted: 03 January 2012 at 10:09am
James was 4 and a half when he toilet trained himself for day just asked one day for nappy off and he had very few accerdents night tranning was a coulple of months later were as his cuzzy was tt at 2 and night by 3 each kid in there own time ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: tishy
Date Posted: 03 January 2012 at 10:13am
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My DD didn't do wees in the toilet until she was 3 3/4. From about 3 1/4 she was in undies but would sit on the toilet with a nappy/pullup for wees & poos.
Even now at nearly 4 she still uses a nappy for poos. Her twin DD was fully toilet trained in 2 weeks just before her 3rd birthday. |
Posted By: Mama2two
Date Posted: 03 January 2012 at 11:16am
My daughter and most of her friends toilet trained after 3. Most were pretty much there by 4 but not all. I never worried about it personally. I figure so long as they can do it by the time they go to school what's the problem ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: GuestGuest
Date Posted: 03 January 2012 at 1:53pm
| But surely leaving it up to them is costing a lot of money if they are in disposables! I guess with cloth it wouldn't matter. |
Posted By: blondie_2010
Date Posted: 03 January 2012 at 2:03pm
| I think one of the main reasons it has become later is to do with disposable nappies to be fair....it's too comfy for them after they wee! I want to TT my son when he is 2, I hope it works as I would be really gutted if I was still changing a 4 year old's nappy but that's just my opinion. |
Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 03 January 2012 at 2:10pm
Maybe...but sometimes it's the best option. My partner would dearly love for my girls to be out of nappies (for financial reasons), and they're getting there, but not ready yet for no nappies at all. Especially when trying to co-ordinate TT between home, daycare and then their dad's house as well. One of the girls is also far more ready than the other. |
LuckyRed wrote:Posted By: tishy
Date Posted: 03 January 2012 at 2:15pm
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I think it's become later now because these days parents are waiting until the kid is ready to learn.
In previous times it was the the parent training the the kid at an earlier ( expected ) age, and not necessarily at the age when the kid was showing signs. |
Posted By: Hopes
Date Posted: 03 January 2012 at 2:16pm
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Not that I've been there or anything myself, but I can imagine that rushing kids could just give you a nasty headache... I think it's one of those things that will be a learning curve when we get there, LuckyRed (thank goodness I don't have to think about it yet!!!!) -------------   
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Posted By: Red
Date Posted: 03 January 2012 at 2:27pm
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My 4 year old second cousin who is very strong willed just wouldn't until after she was 4, and it wasn't through want of trying on her parents half. Until one day the penny dropped and she wanted to wear knickers. Some kids just aren't ready. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 03 January 2012 at 4:21pm
I spent heaps on nappies & I only used disposables...but the way I saw it was when they were toilet trained their body was ready for it. I had no wet beds or pants. They had no hang ups about it...& we had no stress, so that really out weighs the cost, well IMO. |
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 03 January 2012 at 4:24pm
| It does cost lots with sposies. We tried several times because I was sick of nappies but having to change clothes 10+ times a day gets rather tiresome when they just aren't ready/willing to TT and you see no improvement. I'd rather pay the cost of the nappies than do all that washing and cleaning up of pee personally |
Posted By: KcP
Date Posted: 03 January 2012 at 6:30pm
Yea, it definitely gets expensive as they get older! But we dont have much of a choice with our young'n and we're waiting until he can understand his body a bit more and knows what the toilet is about. We're paying through the nose for disposables! It sucks but there aint alot we can do about it..  ------------- Small family of three TTC #1 4 years http://alterna-tickers.com"> 
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Posted By: Blankney94
Date Posted: 03 January 2012 at 7:31pm
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DD is 3 at the end of January and has just become toilet trained over the holidays. We did want her trained last summer, but she was showing no signs of being ready. Nobody likes an uphill battle. DD is ready now, there's only been one accident in about 10 days, and it has been so easy. Better to wait until the child has shown signs of being ready, I think. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: mamanee
Date Posted: 03 January 2012 at 9:44pm
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For me, it's about knowing my OWN child and picking up on their cues.
There isn't a right or wrong age to toilet train children and the financial side of things doesn't even enter my mind because it's about when they are ready. Sure you can try and you can guide them but if they're not ready, they're not ready. |
Posted By: Mama2two
Date Posted: 03 January 2012 at 10:02pm
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We were told by our daughters doctor that a lot of it is to do with spinal cord and bladder development and that because kids all develop at different rates you could actually be trying to get your child to TT when they are actually not physically able to do it. The thing I have found with friends/family that have tried to TT their kids young is that there is a big difference between actually being TT'd and just being able to go on the toilet when prompted. I wanted to wait until my daughter was able able to recognise when she needed to go to the bathroom and was able to take herself off to do it. And like a few have said, the cost of nappies is comparable with the cost of the washing you can end up doing in a day
The best advice I was given was from my SIL, (who has 4 kids). She told me when they are ready it should be easy, if they are not ready - HARD! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: GuestGuest
Date Posted: 03 January 2012 at 10:18pm
| So do the over 2s get embarrassed about the fact that they are weeing/pooing into nappies? At that age they are basically little people and know what's going on and have the ability to communicate well, I felt strange changing my niece's nappy because of her age, I am used to babies and small toddlers. |
Posted By: Mama2two
Date Posted: 03 January 2012 at 11:00pm
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Honestly - they don't care at all ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: NovemberMum
Date Posted: 04 January 2012 at 2:08am
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my 2 year old son is still in nappies he doesnt care and he hasnt made the connection yet of when his bladder is full.
his sister on the other hand was full day trained just after she was 2....in saying taht her communication skills were a lot more advanced at the same age and she started taking an interest in the toilet around 17-18 months. he is only just startign to repeat words. I will be surprised if he is out of nappies before 3 years ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: KcP
Date Posted: 04 January 2012 at 10:14am
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Yea, the main reason we havnt pushed DS to TT is because we know he's not ready. His grandparents have this huge thing about TT'ing him now but really, how can you TT a child that doesnt know his own body? ------------- Small family of three TTC #1 4 years http://alterna-tickers.com">
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Posted By: MamaT
Date Posted: 04 January 2012 at 6:00pm
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DS is two and is interested in the toilet and tells me when he's done poo's or wee's, but isn't interested in using the toilet or potty yet. I fully expect it to be at least 3 before he is TT.
My Mum is a kindergarten teacher and often children there are only just TT, or the teachers often end up helping to train them. I agree with the others about not pushing them, I'm sure it would only make matters worse. -------------  
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Posted By: T_Rex
Date Posted: 04 January 2012 at 8:54pm
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It's hardly going to be embarrassing for them when they've done it their whole life and see it as the norm. I'm in the process of training DD1 now, and I think she finds it a bit weird me watching her go on the loo (although who knows why, cos she watches me go all the time - oh how I miss peeing in private!!). She certainly has no qualms about having her nappy changed.
One thing I've learnt since having kids, is that babies don't read parenting/child development books. They develop in their own time and there is no such thing as "normal", just "normal for that child" ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Daizy
Date Posted: 05 January 2012 at 11:30am
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I think kids are ready when they are ready.. if they are toilet trained while still too I would think they were doing extremely well!
I tried so hard to have DD1 out of nappies before she was 3 (and starting kindy) I had this wacky idea she was too old for nappies . Really I just made it hard for myself and it took years before she was completley done (just in time for school.... now by then they may be a little old)
DD2 spent so many hours watching me tt'ing DD1 that she pretty much trained her self at just over 2 and a half. At nearly 4 she is still in night nappies, but that is a whole other story... she knows that if she can wake up in the morning and go straight to the toilet with a dry nappy then we can get rid of them. I think you just need to be paying attention to how ready your child is and gently encouraging using the toilet then the child WILL do it when they are ready. ------------- 
 
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Posted By: freckle
Date Posted: 06 January 2012 at 9:09am
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I totally agree there's no point forcing the issue until they are physically ready, which is different for different kids. I do think kids can experience embarrassment as you suggested LR! I know my daughter peed her pants one day and I had to put her in a nappy (all I had with me), and she was SO upset and embarrassed she screamed her brains out. I think this awareness that big people don't wear nappies and they do pee in the toilet helps motivate TTing, so even if it is something they have always done, they start to see it as not the norm... My older girls both TTed easily at 2 and both displayed some embarrassment around wearing nappies or peeing their pants. ------------- mum to 3 lovely girls :D |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 08 January 2012 at 12:05am
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My almost 5 y/o is TT (obviously) but still has accidents frequently - mainly cos she gets busy and "forgets"..am hoping she dosen't do it at school, but I do know it is completely normal for those wee new entrants to still have accidents..she dosen't feel embarrassed, but I imagine if she did it at school she might. She isn't night trained and is far far from it. My eldest was easy as, just asked one day for undies at about 2.5 and barely any accidents. They are all just different. ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: Ant
Date Posted: 09 January 2012 at 5:35pm
My 2yo doesn't have the ability to communicate well.(and he's perfectly normal by the way :D ) He can count to 10 in two languages, but won't say 'yes'. He can tell me when he needs to poo, but can't say whether he needs to go right.this.minute or in an hour. It could be the next day even. He doesn't mind having his nappy changed, but doesn't really care if it takes a while for someone to notice it needs it (usually as soon as he walks past and we get a whiff!) We have a running joke that he's probably thinking "Not now mum - I've finally got it all comfy!" So - no embarrassment isn't a factor. Unless I guess you make them feel like it's something to be horribly ashamed of, but I think that would just be setting them up for all kinds of problems. Like a friends kid who held it for days because she was scared to mess her pants - and that's not a fear I ever want my child to have. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: freckle
Date Posted: 09 January 2012 at 10:03pm
ummm okay - well like I said above my child WAS embarrassed and I never did anything to make her feel that way. I never even pushed TTing at all (couldn't be bothered!)... they are all different - and your comment sounds a little judgmental to me :S ------------- mum to 3 lovely girls :D |
Posted By: tiptoes
Date Posted: 09 January 2012 at 10:18pm
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Perhaps the embarrassment is part of their awareness and readiness for TT whereas those that are more oblivious are less likely to be ready. My DS will say when he's doing a poo, and stop but then isn't interested in being changed or bothered by it. I'm the one that doesn't want to smell it :) ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com">  
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 09 January 2012 at 10:57pm
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I was about 4 when I was trained. I could have gone sooner but I refused as it was much easier having the nappy. I remember going to kindy and the teacher making me sit on a stool infront of the toilets and watch other kids go and telling me I was too big for nappies and that I had to wear undies and her taking the nappy off and putting undies on. When they are ready. Lily has gone through stages of telling us beforehand but she seems worried about going on a potty and the toilet she just likes the toilet paper! More often she tells us straight after and her signs vary but more often squatting while peeing so need to work out what she does before she squats. Poos she is normally rather gassy! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: xLUCKYx
Date Posted: 10 January 2012 at 9:55am
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Both of mine were fully TT just before their third birthdays.
With my eldest (girl) I was actively TTing for AGES but she was just not ready... I think I may have even delayed her TTing as it was awful for her having accidents etc... She trained when I eased off and she decided for herself to wear undies and it was painless - I wish that I had just left it up to her way sooner. With my son I just made sure he knew what to do - how to climb on toilet etc etc... then would offer him undies now and then. He was in a combo of nappies and undies (whatever he preferred) for about a week or two before he ditched nappies altogether and was fully TT day and night. He was fully TT a good 2 months before my DD did and it was painless - because he was ready. It is hard to relax about toilet training due to outside pressure and hearing of younger kids being toilet trained, and that expense and pita that nappies are, but like almost you all have said, they're not ready until they are ready... |
Posted By: Ant
Date Posted: 10 January 2012 at 3:54pm
Sorry - I didn't make my point clearly. I feel that if a child *isn't ready* then they are unlikely to be embarrassed. I would take embarrassment to be a good sign they are ready - and not one all children have. Your daughter was clearly already well into toilet training as she wasn't wearing nappies at the time. If there is no expectation, from either themselves or outside influences, that what they are doing is not ideal for them then why would they have negative feelings about it? ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: freckle
Date Posted: 11 January 2012 at 2:03pm
No she wasn't "well into TTing" - why would the fact she wasn't wearing nappies suggest that? I never TTed my kids with nappies:) And yeah that was my point that embarrassment can be a positive indicator of readiness. But I don't think it means people have negatively influenced the child to think peeing ya pants is a bad thing... some just start to notice that big people don't wear nappies. ------------- mum to 3 lovely girls :D |