Things you can do for a new mum...
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
Forum Description: Want help? Need support? Want tips? Men and women share advice and tips in this supportive community
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=4160
Printed Date: 01 October 2025 at 5:38pm
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Things you can do for a new mum...
Posted By: Katherine
Subject: Things you can do for a new mum...
Date Posted: 22 October 2006 at 5:10pm
|
I'd love to compile a list of things that visitors can do for new mums when they inevitably turn up to visit the new baby. What kinds of nice things did people do for you when you first had your baby? What did you WISH they had done? Let's make a great big list! I'll start: * Bring me a casserole that will keep in the fridge or freezer for a couple of days -- it's not like I have time to cook! |
Replies:
Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 22 October 2006 at 5:20pm
|
I'll agree with the casserole and the ringing first!!
Also: *you are welcome to tea and coffee - you know where the kitchen is and I'll have my tea white with 2 sugars thanks! 
What's also been great is people who offer to pick stuff up for you when they come around or who come with morning tea/lunch without even being asked!  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 22 October 2006 at 5:34pm
| Ok but here is a question i have - a friend had her bubs now four weeks ago - she said she would call us (her friends) and none of us have heard...we got the baby name from her best friend, and her boss got email photos to circulate(they are not techno savvy so expected that)....but now we have all stayed away and noone heard from her - what do WE do??? do we wait and see or ring and risk annoying a first time nervous mum - we had wanted to help her out....???? |
Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 22 October 2006 at 5:40pm
|
Well personally after 4 weeks I wouldn't be shy about giving her a call, seeing how things are and sussing out a visit. So long as she knows she's not expected to "entertain" as such I wouldn'tahve thought there would be an problem.
I personally had no issues with visiting once home so long as people rang/texted. Give her a call, the worst she can do is say she doesn't want visitors yet. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
|
Posted By: Katherine
Date Posted: 22 October 2006 at 5:41pm
| Can you send her a txt? I would txt her or ring her and say you'd love to bring her some baking and see the baby for 20 minutes, when it's a good time for her, and then let her tell you when that good time might be. She might just be expecting people to turn up at her place (as they ALWAYS do, right at the beginning) and may be wondering where you are! If she's a friend, I'd say that it HAS been 4 weeks, so you could tell her you wanted to give her some time to settle in and you're hoping she'll have a little bit of time for you to visit. |
Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 22 October 2006 at 6:06pm
|
I would pop her an email coz u know that if she can find time to check her email she will have time to reply and your not disturbing her. Maybe shes finding it a little overwhelming at the moment?
When parents came to stay they did housework, washing, cooking, you name it they did it and it was sooo helpful!!! I think just being supportive and offer to help in anyway possible?! |
Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 22 October 2006 at 7:05pm
| I would get in touch, by now its been long enough for her to get settled plus also if she hasnt contacted anyone maybe she is feeling a bit out of her depth but doesnt want to ask for help. Some adult company might be welcome. |
Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 22 October 2006 at 7:07pm
|
The casserole idea is a great one, and I think the idea of asking if there's anything they need picked up from town is a winner too. A friend bought a cake over today and we were ravenous for it - totally appreciated it. We asked people to ring or tect first, and that's worked really well for me. ------------- Andie |
Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 22 October 2006 at 7:08pm
| Oh and on the things people can do for new mum, one thing a friend does for me all the time is fold my washing. She knows its something i hate doing and its hard finding time to do with a newborn. Also bring some food, just muffins or a coffee/hot chocolate etc even if the new mum has said no dont worry cos often you feel rude asking people to pick something up for you. Plus it means you dont have to feel pressured in making the visitor coffee or food. |
Posted By: ellabellame
Date Posted: 22 October 2006 at 7:40pm
|
when my friend had her new baby, i used to go round there and do the dishes and then look after the baby so she could have a shower. ------------- |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 22 October 2006 at 7:43pm
|
lol my mum used to fold my washing and I'd actually get titchy cos that's one thing i like doing and she would fold everything differently so i would HAVE to refold it.
Bringing stuff is nice. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja 
|
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 22 October 2006 at 8:10pm
|
Keep your visit short please... I remember people turning up just as I was about to go off for a nap and then stay ages! I felt too rude to ask them to go, but 20-30 minutes would prob be a good amount of time.
I was also going to suggest fold the washing if you see a huge pile on the couch... ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: meow
Date Posted: 22 October 2006 at 8:11pm
I like doing things my way too, but really, if someone is offering to do it for you, why complain? It took me a while of DP doing things for me to realise that in the scheme of things, it doesn't really matter 
For the new parents, I make a meal/some baking.. we are the first in our group of friends to have a baby, so we haven't really had the chance to do things for others yet. One thing my mum did (and still does when she visits) is to do the dishes.. it is such a big help! and sometimes she will clean the bathroom or do other chores if I let her.. I feel guilty sometimes that she is doing my housework! A pamper pack like a magazine, some chocolate, bubble bat etc in a little paper carry bag make a nice gift for the new mum too  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
|
mum2paris wrote:Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 22 October 2006 at 8:40pm
|
meow my mum used to help out with dishes too yay! (we have a dishwasher now). One thing I had trouble with was getting washing in/out, my MIL would ask if there was any needing moved. Vacuuming? That was something I was not able to do immediately after c/s. When I was staying at the hospital I needed morning/afternoon tea to eat while I was b/fing.
Looks like everything else is covered - calling first, bringing food, not staying long (it's amazing how tired you get!) -------------  |
Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 22 October 2006 at 8:54pm
|
Oh and if they are a really good friend I would suggest going round and making thier bed/bedroom all nice.
I know the main thing I kept telling hubby i wanted to come home to was a nice clean bedroom and new sheets and covers on it but he forgot each time. I would have been so nice after horrible hospital sheets and bed. Of course if they werent such a close friend it might be a bit strange to be changing thier sheets lol |