Help! Screaming..
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Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=41654
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Topic: Help! Screaming..
Posted By: Essjay
Subject: Help! Screaming..
Date Posted: 29 February 2012 at 7:54am
| Hi, I really need some suggestions to stop my daughter (11 months) screaming. She's generally quite loud, and excitable, which usually is fine. However, when it comes to car trips and meal times, she just continually does this loud (you can actually hear this out on the street..) high pitched, scream, continually throughout the whole time. Its got to the point that my son (almost 3) is getting really upset. He starts crying and saying "no, no, Daisy please stop! And then starts shouting back at her. She thinks he's playing, so she gets louder and louder. The same goes for the car, which, if possible I think is worse. It's got to the point where I absolutely dread meal times, and won't go for long car trips at all. It's sounds like a small thing, I kept thinking it would pass, but seems to be getting worse. I end up in tears.. I feel silly... but this is doing my head in!! |
Replies:
Posted By: FionaO
Date Posted: 29 February 2012 at 2:57pm
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of course its doing your head in!!! I'm not sure what I can say to help - except that it will help. In the meantime, can you find ways to help distract them both. At the grand age of 11 months I have suddenly discovered my son likes a dummy, I only realised cos he would suck on things (blocks etc) so I offered him a dummy that I had in the drawer from when his brother was a baby and he loves it, he was loud in the car, now he is quiet. Mealtimes we get a bit of shouting, whining if he is tired and hungry, I try to carry on regardless and make more of a fuss of DS1 - you could try and change things completely, maybe not sit round the table put a mat on the floor indoor picnic - sometimes I find just changing the routine or doing something different for a few days is enough to break the pattern. Other than that - remember the mantra 'this too is a phase it WILL pass' ------------- 
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Posted By: catisla
Date Posted: 01 March 2012 at 9:17pm
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will music/singing in the car help? Sometimes me and DD1 sing along to drown out DD2 when she is crying in the car. It gets very noisy, but at least the noise is less irritating when you are part of it.
The singing usually shuts DD2 up after a minute or so as well. As for meal times, does your daughter feed herself at all? If not, maybe letting her try will distract her and give her something else to occupy herself with (though you may also have to feed her a bit to make sure she gets enough - using a spoon each often works) ------------- |
Posted By: snugglebug
Date Posted: 04 March 2012 at 9:40pm
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I have had this trouble with my DS since about that age. I usually find he does it when he is bored or wanting attention. My plunket nurse said that they often do it for attention so the best thing to do is not give the attention if possible, or if you do, make it clear it is something you do not like, and move away from them if possible. When you are out it is a much harder thing I know, as I feel people expect me to do something to react. I usually say to my son in a firm voice "no screams" and make sure he has something to do, toy in hand or drink/snack if it's somewhere like the supermarket. Mealtimes I agree with giving finger food so they can focus on that and not on the screaming, do you all eat together as well? I found including my DS in when we eat instead of having him eat separately helped a lot. And giving him his own fork and spoon to play with so he felt like he was doing it like we were. It is so hard though and I really sympathise with you as I find it really really tough too. But I have been having some success lately with ignoring the screaming when it is just nothing screaming ie at home just randomly, or being firm and telling him no then not giving him any more attention. And keeping him really busy wherever possible and being prepared for situations like shopping with toys and snacks etc thinking in advance. I give him toys and a drink in the car seat. I don't take him places where I know he won't cope, like the big supermarket shop, I tend to do that alone as he gets bored and screams.
Also I would encourage your son not to scream back. I was advised that you shouldn't do that as it just makes them think it's ok, and you don't want to give any undue attention to the behaviour. Goes for parents as well ------------- Me 28, DH 29 DS born 20 Nov 2010 (4 years old) #2 due October 7 http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: snugglebug
Date Posted: 04 March 2012 at 9:41pm
Oh and yes I use the dummy when I cant get him to stop any other way hehe  ------------- Me 28, DH 29 DS born 20 Nov 2010 (4 years old) #2 due October 7 http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Essjay
Date Posted: 06 March 2012 at 3:16pm
Thanks heaps for all of the ideas guys.. also just helps knowing there's others in the same boat! 
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Posted By: MrsMc
Date Posted: 10 March 2012 at 10:49am
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i know this wont work for the car but at the table you could just say "no screaming or you will have to hop down from the table, it's too loud" and if she does it again move her away and put her on the floor away from the table saying "no screaming" then try again in a few mins
11 months seems young but they understand more than you think |