Leaving my 8 month old for 4 nights. bad?
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Forum Name: General Chat
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=41825
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Topic: Leaving my 8 month old for 4 nights. bad?
Posted By: Millylou
Subject: Leaving my 8 month old for 4 nights. bad?
Date Posted: 02 April 2012 at 7:15pm
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Hi!
I am going away for 4 nights over easter with my hubby and 3 year old. My 8 month old is staying at my mums over this time. Our 3 year old has had hardly any quality time since new baby has come so we thought it would be nice to just take her away on her own.. BUT i am feeling sooo guilty for leaving my baby. Questions like will she feel neglected/sad/miss me all these kinds of things keep going through my head and bad mum bad mum! Mostly the neglected sad thing though..I know she's just a baby but im worried she will think Ive left her! (Sorrry i know this sounds stupid!) Anyone have any comments/tips/advice? Have you left your baby for a time before? Were they ok? Thanks :) |
Replies:
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 02 April 2012 at 8:22pm
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Why aren't you taking your baby with you? She's part of your family too isn't she?
If you are feeling guilty/worried about it then don't do it. It's a nice idea to spend quality time with your 3 year old there must be ways you can do that without excluding anyone. I still haven't left my daughter overnight with anyone and am unlikely to any time soon. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: kiwigal
Date Posted: 02 April 2012 at 8:44pm
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You are not neglecting the baby at all and she is far too young understand what is going on if she was older then YES. Cheaper options is to take DD on a day trip where you can go shopping, swimming, zoo etc. |
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 02 April 2012 at 9:00pm
| She will be fine. If you really want to do the time away then do it. Take a laptop so that you can skype if it will make you feel better. I recently left my kids for 2 weeks while I had surgery overseas (youngest is 18 months) and it was fine, skype is great when you miss them. And I totally understand wanting to spend some quality one on one time with your oldest, my boy loves the one on one time he gets. |
Posted By: Millylou
Date Posted: 02 April 2012 at 9:18pm
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Thank kebakat! Yeah she has been a great big sister and totally deserves some one on one time.
Im not taking baby because its not a holiday as such. My hubby goes to a big kids camp over easter and its not ideal for baby for that long I don't think. Outside all day in the sun, not really any amenities for bottles and nappies etc so I think if we tried to take both miss 3 would just be left to tag along or having to wait around for me to deal with all little misses stuff(as hubby will be busy with groups of kids). And in general yeah that's life and whatnot but there's lots of things I can do with her one on one there which would be great which i couldn't do with both! And afterwards we are all going away together as a family for a week for our actual holiday. |
Posted By: Dophy
Date Posted: 02 April 2012 at 9:48pm
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You feeling guilty etc only goes to show you must be loving and great mum (a bad mum wouldnt care at all). I hate leaving my 14 minth old daughter overnight and miss her so much, if I have to work or something so I call up my parents who she is staying with and talk to her on the phone haha, skypes a great idea! I always feel alot better to hear her in the background talking and playing away and being reassured by my parents that shes happy. Maybe keep in touch with your mum itll help reassure you.
Plus Im sure your mum would enjoy having her granddaughter visit for so long! |
Posted By: tishy
Date Posted: 03 April 2012 at 9:46am
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She might miss you a bit but definitely won't feel neglected.
Sounds like you've got it all planned out. Enjoy your time away 
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Posted By: Lulu
Date Posted: 03 April 2012 at 12:16pm
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You are not neglecting your baby and your baby will not even notice I bet! I think children get a better sense of security if they have other people that they trust and are content with, not just their parents. We have left our DD with grandparents for anything between 4 and 13 nights while we holiday every year since she has been born and she looks forward to it as much as them. I think it is so nice that you want to dedicate your time to your 3 year old, however if it was me I'd leave them both, lol! At 8 months old I wouldn't bother skyping or anything like that. ------------- Lou http://www.babysfirstsite.com"> 
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Posted By: crafty1
Date Posted: 03 April 2012 at 2:15pm
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Ditto what the others have said, that she will miss you but won't make it mean that she is abandoned etc. 8mo is probably a great age to do it as she is young enough to not make such a big deal that she might do after 18months.
Enjoy your time with your 3yo and then your family holiday all together. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: JadeC
Date Posted: 03 April 2012 at 3:27pm
OUCH! I can't imagine how hard it must be making sure your 3 year old gets quality time with a baby as well! I am leaving my toddler for 2 weeks next month (he will be 20 months), and I think it would be easier to leave an 8 month old. If you know she will be cared for and ok, then go for it! ------------- http://pregnancy.baby-gaga.com/" rel="nofollow"> 
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caliandjack wrote:Posted By: Guest_70450
Date Posted: 03 April 2012 at 11:52pm
| cant say I would I agree with other lady bout making time for 1 and exluding another however that said sounds like you have an awsume support network so best of luck |
Posted By: freckle
Date Posted: 04 April 2012 at 1:48pm
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Millylou - That's such a nice idea... it can be so hard trying to make time for the older one/s when you're so wrapped up with a baby eh! I don't think you're excluding your baby from your family by making some special mum and dad time with big sis!! I think your 8 month old will be absolutely fine, like the others have said it's a good age to do it as it gets harder as they get older... ------------- mum to 3 lovely girls :D |
Posted By: snugglebug
Date Posted: 04 April 2012 at 2:11pm
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If it feels right for you, then it's all right. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty. I think it's a lovely idea. Your baby will be ok, she will miss you and you will miss her but she will be ok, she will be with Grandma and she will have fun. I think it's good for them to get used to being with other people too. You will always get mixed opinions on a forum like this/the more people you ask but if deep down you feel ok about it, then it's fine, if it's right for your family then thats the most important thing ------------- Me 28, DH 29 DS born 20 Nov 2010 (4 years old) #2 due October 7 http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: Millylou
Date Posted: 04 April 2012 at 4:05pm
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Wow thanks everyone!! All your comments are really appreciated!! I know there will and always will be different views on it but I feel definitely more confident with my decision now! I have never posted on a forum before and I love how supportive you guys are!
We leave tomorrow so thank you all for your advice and kind words!! :D |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 04 April 2012 at 4:06pm
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It's easy to have big ideas when you have only one child!!!! Good for you, and your three year old will LOVE it. I think older hcildren often get swept up and forgotten a bit in baby madness. Plus baby will LOVE having Nana's undivided attention!
Normal to feel anxious, but trust me,it will be fine..after all, what can YOU remember from when you were 8 months old? ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 04 April 2012 at 4:30pm
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Um wow... C&J that was a bit harsh and unhelpful really....
What a lovely way to reconnect with your 3yr old... I can totally understand feelign the need to get in some decent quality time! YOu are not neglecting your baby at all! Have a GREAT tiem and your mum will love it too! Your baby will probably get 4 days of total indulgence too -------------   
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Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 04 April 2012 at 4:34pm
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Your three year old will love it! It'll be so much easier on you guys with the older one. Grandma will love the time with the little one too!
My 8 year old is the one that gets to stay with Grandma & has been since she was quite small, I trust my Mum & her judgement ( she did raise me  )Now they have special holidays all the time, so we get to spend the quality time with #2 who was always in his older sisters shadow. So crossing fingers it goes well & you can have one on one times with either child in the future  ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com"> 
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |
Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 04 April 2012 at 5:27pm
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Will your 8month old remember and forever be feeling left out of the family ? no.Not.At.All.
Will she miss you? yeah probably,but she'll be ok. Will your three year old remember and love the fact that shes had some special time with mummy and daddy by herself? yes,and thats great. I have 3 and would have no problem going away with just one of them and leaving the other two behind,it doesn't mean the other kids are any less "part of the family" (a lot of the time I could easily go away with NONE of them,and leave all of them behind,mwah ha ha ha) ------------- 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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