Study and children
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=41919
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Topic: Study and children
Posted By: fairy1
Subject: Study and children
Date Posted: 18 April 2012 at 3:47pm
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I'm doing postgrad study and finding it difficult to manage time wise. I work 2 days a week, care for my 17 month old, look after the house, meals etc and study, its recommended that we do 20-25hrs a week study but I wouldn't do 20 as just don't seem to have the time. I was originally planning on studying next semester as well but I'm now thinking it would be best not to as I get quite stressed with the essays, and it is having an impact on my home life. Yesterday my son got upset as I wasn't giving him as much attention as he would have liked, and I hate that. I have great time management at work but trying to manage everything at home just doesn't seem to be working.
So my question to those studying with one one or more children is how do you do it all? ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Replies:
Posted By: kernowexile
Date Posted: 18 April 2012 at 3:52pm
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Can I lurk on this too? I have no idea how I'll finish my postgrad study with a new baby. Rather scared.
The only tips colleagues at uni/work have given me is to work super early mornings. One of my colleagues was getting up at 4h30 to work for a few hours before her young toddlers woke up properly. I'm not sure how I'd manage that. I'm hoping there's some good advice out there! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: fairy1
Date Posted: 18 April 2012 at 4:42pm
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My colleagues said do it when ds is in bed, but thats when I'm trying to get things done like washing, or relax. Don't think I could do the getting up early thing. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: HoneybunsMa
Date Posted: 18 April 2012 at 4:56pm
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I do it when DD is in bed, but I am a late going to bed person anyway... Poor DP is only home and in bed at the same time as me 3out of 7 days a week and two of them I've been up late studying haha.
I also work two days a week, study part time extra murally and look after our almost three yr old. I admit I don't do all the cooking and cleaning as I stay home with my parents but I don't see why your partner (if you have one) can't help with that, just because you are home doesn't mean they can't help, we had to share the responsibility when we were both working. And a load of washing etc can be thrown on while your DS is still up. I get the relaxing thing believe me, but maybe if you sacrifice two nights a week of relaxing and house work then that will help. I'm on my 7th and 8th paper of my first yr and have passed all of them so far not greatly but passed at least and will probably do another two papers next semester I started when my DD was 1 so it is totally do able. A friend has studied with three kids so I figure if she can I can too! ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: Blankney94
Date Posted: 18 April 2012 at 10:28pm
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It was only when I was studying by correspondence that I found out I was entitled to 9 hrs subsidised childcare. My only options were: A) study at home when hubby could mind our child in a separate room. B) put child in care when I was studying - particularly when doing the big essays I had to concentrate on. It's not easy, in fact it was quite stressful. I couldn't have done it without putting my child in part time care, and having extra help from hubby when I had deadlines. The nine hour subsidy certainly helped though. This may of course be means tested, or may differ according to your circumstances. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 19 April 2012 at 7:09am
| I'm studying and as soon as I put my youngest (18mths) down for his sleep just after lunch I study until he wakes so that's about 2hrs a day worth and then whatever I have left to do I do on the weekend when DH can look after the kids |
Posted By: Guest_66521
Date Posted: 19 April 2012 at 7:58am
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HI all, Been years since I have posted in here :P
I have a 1 yr old, 4 yr old twins (one with a serious heat condition too) & 7 yr & I am currently first year studying towards a Bachelor of Business with a double major in Accountancy & International business. I am only doind 2 papers a semester & 2 over summer school & before I enrolled I talked with hubby about it as he would need to step up and do more around the house & it works great for us. Sometimes I do struggle to find the time. Find out if you are able to get childcare or have you got a supportive family/friends that could babysit? Is your partner able to help out more? |
Posted By: fairy1
Date Posted: 19 April 2012 at 9:20am
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I can't get subsidised childcare. Ds is already 2 days a week while I work and I don't want to put him in there anymore that that
I currently study while he is sleeping during the day, normally a 2-3 hr block (I know I'm lucky with his sleep), I try to do a lot in the weekends when dh is home so that he can look after ds. We don't have family or friends that can help as pretty much everyone we know works. Thanks for the advice. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: epictraveller
Date Posted: 19 April 2012 at 6:57pm
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I don't have a child yet so I can't help with your query, but just wanted to say that I take my hat off to you ladies studying with children. I'm doing postgrad through Massey and working full time and I can't imagine having to take care of a little person as well, I feel like I'm chasing my tail the whole time as it is!
Anyway just wanted to say... awesome work ladies  ------------- #1  Angel babies April 2013, Nov 2013 IVF #1 Nov 2013-CP IVF #2 May 2014-BFN IVF #3 Feb 2015-BFN DS Jun 2015-BFN Oct 16 -Natural BFP! TTC #2 |
Posted By: blossombaby
Date Posted: 19 April 2012 at 9:05pm
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Just read through this as i planned on going to 4 days a week next year and start studying maybe 1/2 papers a semeter .. But it looks impossible - I have big plans of it working but after reading this I was dreaming??
I have been leaving my washing to do in the weekend insted of durign the week there is only 3 of us so doesn't laod up to much means i do a about 6 loads - so towels, whites, lights, darks, dd stuff and then nappies still get washed daily/every 2nd day. I seems sometimes like i spend all weekend washing but it makes the week days alot smoother ... so dp is around to watch her while I hang it out in between other stuff. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Caro07
Date Posted: 20 April 2012 at 8:00am
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I know this isn't exactly the same but my DH is studying for exams at the moment. The best way that we have found that works is that he gets up at 4am every morning during the week and studies until 6.30am. He then goes to work. He does go to bed at about 8.30pm though. The early morning was the only way he found that he could guarantee not being disturbed by the children.
He then goes to work at 6am on Saturday until 12 midday and studies there. Could your DH give you some protected study time at the weekend like this? I am a SAHM and I really feel that when one partner is studying it is a family affair and everyone has to work at it to make sure it is successful. I hate spending every evening on my own and then being on my own with the kids on a Saturday morning but then it isn't a breeze for him either. I don't know how he manages the early mornings but he says he has no choice - it has to work. I think he has got used to it though. Good luck - can't wait till DH finishes his study, we've been doing this one and off for about 5 years. ------------- Caroline, SAHM to 2 boys, S (4 years old) and J (2 years old) 
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Posted By: fairy1
Date Posted: 20 April 2012 at 9:20am
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. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: MissJen
Date Posted: 20 April 2012 at 9:06pm
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There are sacrifices you have to make unfortunately. I studied full time last year started when my son was 8 months I had to put him in day care but i made sure i had one day free and that was our 'special' day together. I got everything i needed done in the time that he was in care and when he was sleeping
I am fortunate enough that i was in position that i could quit my job as there is just not enough hours in the day and since we dont get a subsidy it made it even more difficult. I had to make my fiancee do alot more around the house like chuck on a load of washing or throw the vacuum around a couple of times a week. Also on Sunday mornings DF takes DS to the pool or the park so i can get a couple of hours in. This year i am doing considerably less study but i am also pregnant so i didnt want to stress myself Im not going to lie its not easy but it doesnt have to rule your life you just need to prioritize and not be too hard on yourself if you dont get something done. Remember you became a mum when you gave birth not superwoman! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 27 April 2012 at 9:54pm
I think, if you add up the hours you are doing (work and study), you will find you are 'working' full time. Therefore, you need to arrange your life as such. Your partner (if you have one) needs to do half the work, like couples do (or are supposed to as I'm told  ) when both working. I know you don't want to put your son in care any more, but TBH an extra day will not harm him and will make you less stressed in order to do what you need to do. It's not a permanent thing, you just need to look towards the end goal and decide what NEEDS to be done (rather than what you consider your ideal) to get there.
Good luck. Studying or working fulltime with kids is hard, I'm not going to lie. But it is doable, unfortunately you need to make sacrifices (which is often less family time), but you are obviously studying to better yourself so small sacrifices for the big gain at the end don't seem too bad when you look at it that way 
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