feeling down
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=42528
Printed Date: 23 August 2025 at 5:27pm
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: feeling down
Posted By: raychill23
Subject: feeling down
Date Posted: 04 September 2012 at 11:45am
|
past few weeks i've been really depressed about how things have ended up. i was dating someone for about 5 months and ended up pregnant. i already have one child. the relationship wasnt great and i ended it when he had a meltdown over my 4 year old.
its been bugging me and i simply cant let go of the horrible things he said about my son can anyone give me advice on how to let go of the negative feelings and move on? |
Replies:
Posted By: ooEvaoo
Date Posted: 04 September 2012 at 9:05pm
|
Some people have tried writing a letter to the person who has hurt them, and then getting rid of it...like burn it. Just the fact that you've written it out, got all that is going on in your head onto paper...and letting it go. Something Polly Gillespie talked about a couple weeks ago. It may work for you. Just don't let this dooch have a hold over you, your boy, and the one of the way......dont waste your energy :) ------------- 
|
Posted By: redtulip
Date Posted: 06 September 2012 at 5:34pm
|
Hi Raychill, I don't have kids of my own.... but my husband has a son from a previous relationship and although I'm not his mum I love him to death and would never say a bad word against him.
His son doesn't live with us but he spends alot of time with us. I will always remember that my stepson was around before me and his dad loves him more that life itself... so I've always known that they're a 'package deal' so to speak. I guess my point is - try not to focus on the horrible things he said, he should have realised that as his relationship with you progressed he would have to build one with your son. IMO he probably said what he did about your son to hurt you - and it has worked. Best thing is for you to remember that you put your son first. One day if and when you want, you'll meet a fantastic man who'll take his time to care for your kids because of his love for you 
Edited because of terrible spelling! -------------  5 wee Angels - Always in our hearts - Aug '11, Feb '12, Aug '12, Feb '13, Aug '13
|
Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 06 September 2012 at 5:58pm
|
Firstly sorry to hear you are feeling down & totally understandable after a relationship ends & also being pg. Not an easy situation to be in but I think you have to let it go. Words get said & there is no point holding onto them no matter how much they hurt at the time. You are pg & your baby needs to get on with things so does your child.
I think being a step parent is the hardest job out. I am one. I never had a say & had to grin & bear his bad behaviour as his dad would not do anything about it since he only got him now & then. I don't know what relationship your ex boyfriend had with your child but I think it would be hard for a guy to be in an instance family & then after a short time find himself going to be a father to his own child...is he young? did it freak him out??? I am not making excuses for him but I do feel for him also. |
Posted By: AngieBaby
Date Posted: 07 September 2012 at 10:38am
|
Hi Luv, Reading your post made me think of somones's post from wisdom Wednesday - see the picture below - it's a goodie. Sometimes people say hurtful things and we need to deal with them in the right way. For me, some things that have been hurtful, have been true and that is my problem to deal with, but the important thing is to deal with it. If it means a change in my character or attitude or whatever it is then I make is a lesson and learn from it...If what has been said has no validity, is just cruel and ill intentioned then let it go. That person is just being nasty to bring you down and they are not worth it and you do not deserve it and should not let it bring you down babe. Seriously, if that is the case then you can and should totally move on because those words are not true and should be flushed down the loo where they belong. :) BIG HUGS! x 
|
Posted By: AngieBaby
Date Posted: 07 September 2012 at 10:40am
|
if it helps - write them down and literally flush them down the loo :) i think that would be quite therapeutic :) |
Posted By: raychill23
Date Posted: 09 September 2012 at 3:18pm
|
thanks for the advice, i'll give the letter writing a go :) i understand the opinion of him freaking out and not handling the step parent situation well. dont think it's the case here though, he hated leaving and giving us personal space and was wanting to move in with me. i was the one trying to slow things down a bit. Glad to be feeling a bit better this week though, i think the hormones were also on a rampage the other week |