TTC again - an answer to grief?
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Support
Forum Name: Life After Miscarriage
Forum Description: Up to one in five pregnancies ends in miscarriage, yet for many the loss of a pregnancy is isolating and lonely. Share your thoughts and feelings here with others who have experienced loss.
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=42567
Printed Date: 25 June 2025 at 10:19pm
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Topic: TTC again - an answer to grief?
Posted By: tan73
Subject: TTC again - an answer to grief?
Date Posted: 10 September 2012 at 5:06pm
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It's been 3 weeks since I miscarried, 4 weeks since we found out our baby had no heartbeat. I am feeling much better. I don't cry every day, I am back at work and coping well. I am back at the gym, loving my new found energy and am enjoying having my body back. BUT, I really miss being pregnant, I miss my baby, I miss having a new baby to look forward to. I had just adjusted to the whole idea of my life changing forever, and my dreams were snatched away. In spite of all this, I feel ready to try again. We got pregnant on the first go last time so I am feeling very grateful for that as I know how hard it can be for others. What I am worried about is wondering if it's too soon to start trying again. How will I know? I don't want to think that being pregnant again is the answer to taking away the pain. Will I still miss my first baby? Or am I hoping the next pregnancy will replace it? Any wisdom gratefully accepted. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  2 Angels - Aug '12 & Mar '13 Always in our hearts. |
Replies:
Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 10 September 2012 at 5:51pm
 tan73 sorry for your loss.I m/c at 13 weeks & fell pg 3 mths later, I don't even remember trying for another baby. I lost my baby on the 5th of dec & the next yr I gave birth on the 11th of dec... The hospital told me to not try for 6mths. We had a 3yr old & had been trying since he was 1yr so I thought it was not going to happen again. Once I came to terms with the loss, I cried for a long time, I just got on with things so was totally in shock when I found out I was pg again. I think you will know when the time is right & so will your body  you never forget the ones you lose.All the best & I hope it is not long before you see double lines on a test
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Posted By: babygiraffe
Date Posted: 11 September 2012 at 8:26am
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It was for me! I was desperate to get pregnant after each miscarriage, I figured it would help me to get over the last one. Hard when you have 3 though....in hindsight I probably should have waited but time wasn't on my side so got on with it. I dont think too much about what I went through now, DD has definitely taken a lot of the pain away. I did cry a few times in the early days just after she was born - I wondered what they would've looked like etc. I have a picture in the hallway just outside our bedroom of 3 hearts so when I walk in or out I see it. They represent my 3 angel babies
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Posted By: tessie
Date Posted: 14 September 2012 at 1:52pm
| I lost my first baby at 32 weeks. 4 weeks later I found myself pregnant with my son who is now 3. In no shape or form will he replace my first. But he gave me the strength to get through each day and hold myself together. Do whats right for you. If you feel ready, then do it. Don't let anyone elses opinion be the deciding factor. |
Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 14 September 2012 at 3:11pm
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I felt all the things u discribed til I got preg again,...we knew I concieve very quickly- 1st month of trying every time, so waited til I fel really ready physically,...that took longer than emotionally- I wanted to ttc staraight away to ease the pain of the loss cos I desperatly wanted to be preg again and forget that all of a sudden I wasnt preg anymore. In hindsight I wish we had waited longer. Its been really tough doing the whole 1st trimester twice with only a few months gap (plus the exhaustion and recovery time from the severe blood loss after the mc). I feel like Ive been exhasuted this whole year- which I have,...plus emotionally I found being preg again very hard/ stressful. On one side it was a massive releif to be preg again,...but on the otherhand every second I was petrified I would loose the baby again,...I literally held my breathe hoping I wasnt going to find blood everytime I went to the loo for the first 9 weeks of pregnancy,...and even now at almost 15 weeks Im still worried something might go wrong,..although the anxiety has lessened a lot. Find yourself a good midwife- mine has been awesome- I contacted her at 3 weeks 6 days preg- as soon as I got a bfp,...we decided mot to tell people as early as we usually do this time, so it was awesome to be able to talk to her about how I was feeling, plus she organised multiple hcg blood tests and 4 scans before 12 weeks which helped to ease my mind. Good luck for whatever u decide to do. |
Posted By: tan73
Date Posted: 14 September 2012 at 5:47pm
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Thanks ladies. I can relate to all of your feelings. I am missing being pregnant and so want to stop being disappointed every time I am reminded I'm not. Only time will tell but I think we are going to not 'try' until my next AF, but not use any protection anyway. I hope to have some good news soon! I can't believe how quickly things are changing. I never thought I could get through anything like a miscarriage and yet here I am. I have gotten through and I survived! I still have a lost little place in my heart for my first baby and I really miss her/him every day, but I'm moving forward. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 2 Angels - Aug '12 & Mar '13 Always in our hearts. |