So Angry right now!
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Support
Forum Name: Life After Miscarriage
Forum Description: Up to one in five pregnancies ends in miscarriage, yet for many the loss of a pregnancy is isolating and lonely. Share your thoughts and feelings here with others who have experienced loss.
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=43035
Printed Date: 25 June 2025 at 6:51am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: So Angry right now!
Posted By: redtulip
Subject: So Angry right now!
Date Posted: 04 February 2013 at 8:02pm
Just really need to vent right now.... have had my first scan this afternoon and should have seen a bean/heartbeat but instead only a yolk sac. Am just so over this whole journey and can't even get my head around having to spend the next week doing bloods and another scan just to confirm the obvious. I'm so certain of my dates (keep note of everything) that there is no way they can be wrong. The part that guts me the most is that my stupid body doesn't even give me any idea this is happening. My hcg levels were still climbing normally on Thursday. Right now i still have really sore breasts and I haven't had any cramps, spotting etc. Its so devestating going in for a scan and being hit by a brick.... should get easier but it is just too much to take on time after time. Just want to throw a huge tanty and smash something right now!!  Whew, vent over... really needed that out sorry. -------------  5 wee Angels - Always in our hearts - Aug '11, Feb '12, Aug '12, Feb '13, Aug '13
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Replies:
Posted By: Pitter patter
Date Posted: 04 February 2013 at 8:37pm
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Red tulip you don't deserve this, you deserve an easy road not this. Really still hope it works out good, biggest hugs to you xx -------------  TTC number 2 since April 2011 MC Nov 12 Formally Mamma2one |
Posted By: redtulip
Date Posted: 04 February 2013 at 8:47pm
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Thanks mumma2one... just feeling so sorry for myself - no one deserves this and there are plenty of ladies out there who have had worse... I just never imagined a life without one day having children, it just makes me feel very lonely (like something is missing) even with a wonderful husband, family and friends. Don't even know if that makes sense? ------------- 5 wee Angels - Always in our hearts - Aug '11, Feb '12, Aug '12, Feb '13, Aug '13
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Posted By: Pitter patter
Date Posted: 04 February 2013 at 8:53pm
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Yes it makes sense redtulip, really hope this works out still xx ------------- TTC number 2 since April 2011 MC Nov 12 Formally Mamma2one |
Posted By: Rachie123
Date Posted: 04 February 2013 at 9:53pm
Oh no Redtulip, I am so so so sorry  I have no words, my heart breaks for you and what you must be going through. The dreaded 1st scan... what a nightmare. As soon as I saw your post I felt really upset for you. Oh hun, I am so sorry :( |
Posted By: redtulip
Date Posted: 05 February 2013 at 7:23am
Hi Rachie, thanks very much for that... please do't let my experience freak you out, I'm unfortunately one of a small number that suffer recurrent m/c... keep positive, there is a much, much higher chance of things being absolutely fine for you than not  Dreading work today, but I know it's the best place for me right now. Should hear from the RPL clinic once they get my scan report this morning so will see what they think. ------------- 5 wee Angels - Always in our hearts - Aug '11, Feb '12, Aug '12, Feb '13, Aug '13
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Posted By: LG
Date Posted: 05 February 2013 at 8:22pm
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Redtulip, im so sorry to hear that! Did you end up going to work? Distraction can be good I guess but I hope you're looking after yourself as best you can. Its such a crappy, unsettling waiting time (to say the least). Hugs! -------------  Angel Baby Aug '12, Feb '13 |
Posted By: redtulip
Date Posted: 06 February 2013 at 11:24am
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Hi LG, Thanks for your message. Yeah, I went to work and ended up bursting into tears as soon as I got there... explained to my boss that i'd received some bad news about my health so I might need time to go to appts and maybe hospital. Didn't want to go into too much detail as I only started the job in Dec and am on a 90 day trial contract (got BFP mth after starting. Don't know it would be wise for them to know we're ttc. He was very kind and understanding tho - so feeling a little better knowing he understands I'm not quite myself. Definately the distraction helps too. ------------- 5 wee Angels - Always in our hearts - Aug '11, Feb '12, Aug '12, Feb '13, Aug '13
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Posted By: Rachie123
Date Posted: 06 February 2013 at 12:07pm
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Thanks Redtulip, those are very kind words. Must admit when I heard what happened with your bean, I instantly went into panic meltdown. I felt your pain and it brought up all sorts of insecurities for me. I hope you don't give up and that you will be successful in your baby plans. You seem to be able to conceive without trouble, I wonder if the specialists can figure out what is causing things to go array. *** HUGS *** |
Posted By: Mrs Mac
Date Posted: 06 February 2013 at 4:33pm
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I read your post and thought "it's just not fair". Vent away, you have every right to. I am so sorry that you are going through this. It's horrible. -------------   Jan '13
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Posted By: redtulip
Date Posted: 07 February 2013 at 7:07am
Thanks MrsMac, really appreciate your message - just when I thought I'd heard it all I had someone say to me yesterday, "it must make it so much harder for you knowing that you're the one with the problem".... (my DH has a son from a previous relationship).........  are you kidding me!!? Who needs enemies!Anyway, feeling ok and know that I will be fine, just takes a little time. ------------- 5 wee Angels - Always in our hearts - Aug '11, Feb '12, Aug '12, Feb '13, Aug '13
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Posted By: Fairylight Angel
Date Posted: 07 February 2013 at 11:05am
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Wow that person is beyond ignorant! DH could actually have a problem. His son could be a miracle baby. Just because someone has a child it doesn't mean they don't suffer infertility. I find the most ignorant comments are made by people who don't find out the story first. |
Posted By: Orca1
Date Posted: 04 March 2013 at 4:54pm
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I am so sorry you are going through this again. Its never fair and never easy. Be kind to yourself and take care. I thought I had heard some pretty insensitive things in the but that comment made to you really does take the cake. Unbelievable!!! -------------  DD born 2008 Oct 2009, April 2010, Dec 2010, June 20117 x IVF/ICSI/PGD = BFN |
Posted By: redtulip
Date Posted: 04 March 2013 at 6:35pm
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Hi Orca, I'm doing fine thanks. Crazy what people say without thinking - I don't think it even dawned on her that the comment was 'off'... sorta makes you wonder if you've ever done the same... but I think if I can take anything positive away from my experiences it's that I realise the importance of engaging my brain before my mouth lol! Hope you're doing well.... take care. ------------- 5 wee Angels - Always in our hearts - Aug '11, Feb '12, Aug '12, Feb '13, Aug '13
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