Your Advice is Needed
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Name: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Description: Trying to get pregnant? Going through fertility treatment? Just planning your first or second child? There are many people out there in the same boat to help and listen and share with
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=45545
Printed Date: 25 April 2024 at 11:31am
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Topic: Your Advice is Needed
Posted By: Brown-eyed Shally
Subject: Your Advice is Needed
Date Posted: 27 February 2017 at 9:52pm
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Hi, everybody! I decided to write here because I need your help. I am 36 years old and I have diabetes of the first type. 11 years ago I gave birth to a lovely son. The pregnancy lasted ok, because I managed to balance my glucose level. Several years ago I married another man, and now we are dreaming of giving birth to our mutual child. However, my health became worse. I can’t balance my glucose level for nearly 2 years. In addition, I have some kidney problems caused by diabetes. My GP advises me not become pregnant, as my kidneys don’t work properly. She advises us to find a surrogate mother… We’re the UK residents, and surrogacy is allowed here. However, we don’t have a relative or a close friend to carry a child for us. We’re a little bit afraid to contact anyone from the outside, so we’ve decided to go to the country, where surrogacy is available and well-regulated by the law. We contacted several clinics in that country, and here are my feedbacks about them. We’ve chosen the first clinic because we’ve found loads of favorable feedbacks about it on the internet. We contacted it via e-mail, and in several weeks we came to visit them. The clinic turned to be extremely tiny. It looked like a small private villa. When we entered the clinic, it was extremely overcrowded. There wasn’t enough place even to stand. Some people were sitting on the stairs. The staff worked very slowly. Especially, we disliked the administrator at the reception desk. She was extremely unfriendly and answered to all our questions unwillingly. There were also large queues near the doctor’s offices. We had to spend nearly 2 hours in the queue before the doctor was ready to meet us. We liked the doctor and the profiles of surrogate mother candidates that the clinic representatives had chosen for us. All of them were young women with children. Their medical tests were excellent… However, we didn’t like the fact that the clinic was so overcrowded and can’t organize its work properly. While standing in the queue we met a couple from Germany. The husband told us that they had to come to the clinic several times to pick up his sperm because of the large queues, and it irritated him greatly. There was also another clinic that we visited. The things were different there: calm and empty halls, friendly administrator and soothing doctor…. I don’t know why, but I disliked them. We decided not to sign up a contract with any of these clinics and went home. Now we’re thinking whether to choose one of these clinics or try another one… What do you think about these clinics???
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Replies:
Posted By: Tranquil
Date Posted: 10 March 2017 at 8:34am
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Hi, hun. Firstly, I’m really sorry to read about your diabetes. This disease is so spread nowadays. I don’t have this issue, but my cousin has it.She was diagnosed with this disease when she was 22. She also had some problems with kidneys. In addition, her eyesight is very poor, and her gyny told her not to get pregnant. They adopted a boy. In your case, I would better trust your gut. You’re the one who would decide which clinic to choose. At any rate, I wish you good luck in your ED journey.
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Posted By: ModestMom
Date Posted: 20 March 2017 at 2:29am
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I think you should pay attention to the way they’re going to choose a surrogate for your surrogacy program. I think it’s a key moment as loads of things depend on the woman who will carry and give to your child. She must be psychologically ready to do this. Check if they ask the women who want to become surrogates to do various health tests. Finally, you must be totally sure that the surrogate gets all necessary things during her pregnancy. If I were in your shoes, I would check all these things before making the final decision. At any rate, I wish you good luck in your surrogacy journey.
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Posted By: Brown-eyed Shally
Date Posted: 29 March 2017 at 2:10am
We have to sign up a contract with the clinic. According to this contract, they have to find a woman who is physically and psychologically ready to be fertilized, carry and give birth to a child for the intended parents. This woman will have to do quite a lot of health tests to prove that she’s ready to become pregnant and give birth to a child. The psychological tests will be included. The clinic’s representatives take all responsibilities for supplying a surrogate with all necessary things during her pregnancy. For instance, they will give her a certain sum of money for her living expenses. A surrogate will be also provided with medical insurance. In case of abortion or miscarriage after the 12th week of pregnancy a surrogate will be paid a money compensation. However, she has certain responsibilities. She has to visit the clinic regularly for a medical check. She must also lead a healthy lifestyle. She is forbidden to smoke, drink alcohol or take drugs. A surro mum will have to do alcohol, drug and smoke tests monthly to prove that she leads a healthy lifestyle. This is the way the clinic chooses and cares about surrogates… What do you think about it?
P.S. For me, it sounds rather reasonable. It was one of the main reasons why we’ve chosen them.
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Posted By: Tranquil
Date Posted: 06 April 2017 at 9:22am
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Sounds not bad! However, are you ready to travel so far, hun? In addition, you should check Ukrainian laws very carefully. All countries have their odds about surrogacy. In some countries, this procedure is totally banned. You may even break the law by being involved in something like this. If I were in your shoes, I would check whether I’ll be able to leave Ukraine and enter your country with the baby who was carried and given birth by a surrogate.
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Posted By: Brown-eyed Shally
Date Posted: 19 April 2017 at 8:12am
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We’ve chosen Ukraine as our final destination because of several reasons. Firstly, Ukraine has very loyal surrogacy laws. Surrogacy is allowed in Ukraine and can be conducted both on a volunteer and commercial basis. It means you are allowed to find a woman and pay her money for getting pregnant, carrying and giving birth to your child. We’ve decided to contact a fertility clinic that would do such job for us. They will also help us to get the baby’s Birth Certificate of where our names will be included. According to the contract, the clinic’s managers will do the translation of this document and help us to get a travel pass for the baby.
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Posted By: ModestMom
Date Posted: 28 April 2017 at 10:16pm
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Sounds quite ok, dear! It’s great that they will help with getting all those papers. I also like the fact that you’ll get the baby’s Birth Certificate where your names will be included. At any rate, you don’t have to worry that the baby won’t be acknowledged as yours. However, aren’t you afraid to go to Ukraine. It’s a poor country. In addition, it’s at war now…
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Posted By: Brown-eyed Shally
Date Posted: 15 May 2017 at 9:19pm
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I know what you mean, dear. We also hesitated quite a lot before going there. We know that Ukraine isn’t a rich country. In addition, we heard about the problems on the east of Ukraine. However, we visited Kiev. It’s the capital city of Ukraine. It turned to be very peaceful and quiet city. When we came to Kiev, we were met at the airport by the driver. He took us to the clinic where we met our program manager and the other staff. We didn’t have to look for an interpreter as our program manager helped us to communicate with the clinic’s staff. They supplied us with a comfortable accommodation in the center of Kiev. It was really awesome. We also got free meals. Every time when we needed to visit the clinic, they sent a driver to our apartment and he took us to the clinic. It was really very handy. These are the things we liked about our visit to Kiev. What do you think about it?
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Posted By: ModestMom
Date Posted: 30 June 2017 at 4:28am
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Sounds quite ok, dear! If you they really provide you with all these things, I think you’ll feel rather comfortable. However, I would recommend you to find a good pediatrician. Newly born children require quite a lot of care. It will be nice if a doctor checks him daily. In addition, I would recommend you to hire a babysitter when you’re away. It would be nice if the representatives of the clinic assist you in this.
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Posted By: Brown-eyed Shally
Date Posted: 14 July 2017 at 2:44am
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I quite agree with you, hun. If we look for a surrogate somewhere abroad, we will have to find a babysitter or take a baby with us. However, the clinic we’ve got interested in offers us the services of the attending babysitter. She will come daily and look for our baby for a couple of hours. In addition, the baby will be checked by the attending doctor daily. We will also be able to contact a 24/7 hot line to consult an English speaking pediatrician. In case of emergency, the specialist will visit our apartment to check the baby.
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Posted By: ModestMom
Date Posted: 29 July 2017 at 1:27pm
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It’s really great that they provide you with a babysitter and a pediatrician. For me, it’s really very handy. You won’t need to take your baby with or find somebody from the outside. However, before making the final decision I would also pay attention to how they would select a surrogate for your program. I mean they need to find a responsible woman who won’t drink, smoke or take drugs during her pregnancy. I think the clinic’s reps should check whether a woman does these things while being pregnant or not. Does the clinic you’ve got interested in provide you with such options or not?
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Posted By: Brown-eyed Shally
Date Posted: 01 August 2017 at 10:22am
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Yes, of course. A surro mum will have to visit a clinic monthly for an ultrasound checkup. She will also have to do a smoke, drug and alcohol tests monthly. The clinic’s reps will phone her weekly. Sometimes, they will pay a personal visit to her apartment. A surro mum will be also psychologically tested to see whether she’s ready to become a surro mum. The clinic seems to be a reputable one so I think they are quite selective.
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Posted By: NickyT225010
Date Posted: 05 August 2017 at 6:08am
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Hello ladies. I've also been searching for surrogate mother and read this topic. I decided to answer it cause I saw you wrote about going to Ukraine to look for such women. And I must say I've heard a lot about clinic in Kiev. I've met many info already that's saying that that destination is really popular and not without cause. Personally for me there's one significant thing (besides price). Yes, it's realy far away from NZ and thats good. Just think it over - the surrogate mother stays far far away after she's done her job. Sounds tough, but that's how it is. You can take the child and go back home, your mind will be free from the thoughts that woman that gave birth is somewhere near. Again sorry if sounds too tough. That's just my opinin that I wanted to share with you.
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Posted By: Wikq225913
Date Posted: 26 September 2017 at 12:03am
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I am 38 years old, the last 10 years I thought that everything was lost and I did not experience maternal happiness. I have been married for 13 years, the first 3 years I was busy with myself or with a career. When we decided to conceive a child, we got pregnant quite quickly. But then an unpleasant situation happened, and then all this continued. Then my sister advised us to find a surrogate mother. We had to fly to Ukraine. We found there one clinic Biotexcom and turned there. During the pregnancy of our surrogate mother, we were both nervous and happy. But all the difficult situations helped us to overcome the staff of the clinic. And today we can thank them very much!
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Posted By: luha226083
Date Posted: 05 October 2017 at 2:28am
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Hi, it's very good that you did it, because it's not so easy to find a good clinic and a good doctor. In addition, not every country is allowed commercial surrogate motherhood. And this is a problem for many families. Because they have to fly to another country and look for a clinic there. And this is very difficult when you do not know the language and have never been to that country. But you're done! You did not give up your desire and did not give up your dream. And this deserves much respect, I hope your husband also supported you. I know this clinic, my friends did IVF procedure there. In Ukraine, the price is much lower than in Europe. But they went there because in their country they were denied the IVF procedure, because their clinics have age limits. Waiting for an answer)
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Posted By: Tiana250157
Date Posted: 02 January 2020 at 10:52am
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Unfortunately, surrogacy in this case is the only chance to have a baby. Since pregnancy can provoke a number of serious complications that will not allow you to bear the baby. Because your diseases are really very serious. If we talk about the clinic, it seems to me that having a large number of patients and queues is a great advantage. This may mean that the clinic is showing excellent results. I think that temporary inconvenience in the form of queues is not the main thing. But in order to add up the first impression of the clinic, you must definitely communicate with its representatives.
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Posted By: Amanda250156
Date Posted: 05 January 2020 at 2:46pm
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Oh, if you are talking about Biotexcom, then this is a good choice! Indeed, there are always many patients. We also met many couples when we were there. But I agree with Tiana. It seems to me that the popularity of the clinic and the large number of customers in it indicate productivity. I would not choose a clinic where it is completely empty. It casts some doubt, right?
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Posted By: Tiana250157
Date Posted: 06 January 2020 at 3:21pm
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Hi Amanda! Of course! I am glad that you support my point of view. A large number of patients indicate the popularity of the clinic. But only the clinic that really helps people can be popular. It is impossible to have many clients if there is no result from treatment. I think you will agree with me. Another advantage is the relatively reasonable prices. Since, for example, in America, the cost of similar services is many times higher.
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