SAHM’s
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=4599
Printed Date: 30 September 2025 at 4:08am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: SAHM’s
Posted By: meow
Subject: SAHM’s
Date Posted: 24 November 2006 at 3:55pm
|
I'm wondering if I am the only mum here who stays at home with only one child over 2? Ella is almost 2.5 years.. anyone else only have one child who is older than her and stays at home?
We're not having another one *yet* either. When I was pregnant with Ella I decided that I would stay at home with her.. didn't have a timeframe in mind of when I would go back to work, and still don't. Lately I have been getting comments and hints that I don't do anything. ha.. I don't do any paid work regularly (I am slowly working on a paid design job but no rush) but am always busy doing all sorts of things, mainly for others. I admit to being old fashioned! When I was little, most mums stayed at home.. I want to be there to watch my daughter grow up, and to raise her. I'm sick of trying to justify myself to others.. Rant over.. oh and I'm not taking a dig at mum's who work either, this is just what I've decided for our family.  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Replies:
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 24 November 2006 at 3:59pm
|
Hannahs younger than 2 obviously, but I dont plan on going back to work full time until she is at school. At the moment I work one day during the week (only for a few months tho covering maternity leave) and I work 2 full weekends a month. That is enough for me and am quite happy staying at home with her. If my mum didnt watch her while I work, I wouldn't be working. I know lots of mums here who are SAHMs to older kiddies. You are doing the most important job, and even tho its isnt paid in $$ watching Ella growing up is payment in itself (sounds corny doesnt it?!). Keep up the good work ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 24 November 2006 at 5:32pm
|
If we find we can manage the budget I would prefer not to go back to work until our last child is school. Both B and I grew up with SAHM's. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: AlyAyde
Date Posted: 24 November 2006 at 5:46pm
|
Before we had kids Dh and i decided that I would be a SAHM for our child/ren until they are school aged. We were both raised like that.
I do often get comments such as when am i going back to work? or the worst one is when am i going to do some real work? I know that working mums have it tough and i personally dont know how they keep it all running. BUT I do think that stay at home mums do do real work. My day is chocker block filled with doing stuff with and for my kids. I love my job. ------------- Jayde 25/12/04 Alyssa 08/04/03 http://Alyayde.bebo.com |
Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 24 November 2006 at 6:21pm
| I dont plan on working full time until the kids are at home, I only work 9 hours now and even when they are at school i will only work if its school hours and I can take time off for school things like sports days etc... at this stage we are lucky enough i can pick and choose like that and fingers crossed it stays that way. I want to be an involved parent, the one that goes on school camps and helps out etc... |
Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 24 November 2006 at 6:48pm
I want to be a SAHM for as long as we can manage, but I think DH has other ideas *sigh*  ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater 
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: ellabellame
Date Posted: 24 November 2006 at 8:19pm
|
same here jax, i'd love to stay home and watch mikey grow up but i think DP wants be to go back to work ASAP.
actually i think i'm being unfair in saying that, he's never said "you should go back to work" but he's hinted. maria-i can't believe someone has actually said that you should do some "real work"!!  whoever said that obviously has never stayed at home and looked after young children before.------------- |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 24 November 2006 at 8:50pm
|
I am a SAHM and Hannah (my eldest) is almost three. I have taken her to playcentre once a week before, but it wasn't really her thing (she gets a bit overwhelmed) so we have joined a small playgroup instead - me and two friends and our kiddies - and have recently started going to Mainly Music (or Twinkle Toes or whatever they call it lol).
I really hate the questions as well. Maybe I should tell everyone I'm a kindergarten teacher  . When I do things to help others, I take my girls along with me and hope I pass on something - after all, that's what parents are for, right? And I'd be jealous if anyone else was seeing first steps and all that... I love how I know exactly where she's at and be the one to teach colours and shapes and sharing and all those things.-------------  |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 24 November 2006 at 8:58pm
|
LMAO at the "get a real job" comment! I'm a working Mum (on leave but still a working Mum) and I take my hat off to all the SAHM's - I couldn't do it, I would go stark raving mad! My Mum was a SAHM and she was so good at it,but it is such a hard job! My 'paid' job is easier any day - you SAHM's are legends! I would be terrified - even the thought of having Maya off preschool for a month over christmas kind of gives me cold sweats! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: EllenMumof2
Date Posted: 24 November 2006 at 9:53pm
|
I was a SAHM with Kalem till he was 4 when i got preggies with Madison i got comments from people to mostly well meaning family members http://lilypie.com">
  http://lilypie.com">
 
|
Posted By: Jennz
Date Posted: 24 November 2006 at 10:25pm
|
I had always thought I would take up something part time when Charlotte started at nursery school- as it turned out I got pregnant pretty much as soon as she started so it seemed a bit pointless. Although, to be honest I don't know if I would have even if I hadn't of got pregnant! I love being at home with her and we have even decided that once both kids are at school I will only get a part time job so it means I can drop them off and pick them up- go on school trips etc. My job now is to be the best Mum I can and for me that is being really hands on and involved.
I think you do get alot of pressure to go back to work once the kids get to a certain age- woman are expected to do it all now days. Its like people think if you work too much you shouldn't have kids just for other people to raise and if you don't work then you're a lazy bludger. People are always going to judge- it would be awful for you to be pressured into going back to work before your ready and then having that guilt just because of what other people (who have nothing to do with your family) thought. ------------- Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3 
|
Posted By: yummymummy
Date Posted: 24 November 2006 at 10:40pm
|
I don't think there is a right answer and some ppl will always be critical. I would love to be SAHM but we simply can't afford it so when I tell ppl I'm going back to work just 4 weeks after the birth (pretty much full time) I get the 'funny' looks and I've gotten a few comments of how babies need their mums etc etc. At the end of the day, you alone know what's best for you and your family and as long as you as family agree on it and are happy with the decision, then it really dosn't matter what ppl think/say. I agree with Jen - ppl are always going to judge regardless what you decide to do. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
|
Posted By: nuttymama
Date Posted: 25 November 2006 at 7:28am
|
I'm a sahm for our three kids, I'm kind of lucky hubby is really old fashioned and as we both had sahm's we felt we wanted the same for our kids. It's works well for us as we don't have anyone to look after the kids if they are sick and I don't have to worry about constantly taking time off work. We are incredibly lucky that hubby has a well paid job that allows me to stay home otherwise things may have been different.
I also constantly get comments about when am I going back to work but after nine years I can quite easily ignore them now. I will admit to worrying about what the heck I am going to do when the kids grow up being out of the work force so long. No one has to justify themselves for the decisions they have made I believe everyone is different and you do what you have to do for the sake of your family. I have just as much respect for working mum's as I do for sahm's. ------------- Abigail 06/01/2005 Jayden 21/11/2001 Micheal 03/04/1997 |
Posted By: EllenMumof2
Date Posted: 25 November 2006 at 7:43am
|
Our family assstaince payments(IRD) make it easier for me to stay home to i think if we didn't get these i would probaly have to go back to work http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
|
Posted By: Carmel
Date Posted: 25 November 2006 at 9:01am
| I would love to b a SAHM but have been back at work since Piper was 2 months old as our finances couldnt stretch to me staying home with the mortgage and everything else, I have a very good friend that looks after her which makes it a bit easier for my peace of mind knowing she is with someone she knows really well |
Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 25 November 2006 at 9:38am
|
Im not sure I (me personally) could be a SAHM but am totally impressed with those who are! being a fulltime live in nanny was hard enough!
Our situation is that we have a lifestyle we chose, one that involves us both working to pay for the house, the rentals, the boat, travel etc etc...and i would miss the money to be perfectly honest. Having said that trying to weigh up working with all the stuff i will miss out on doing with bubs that the SAHMs get to do in their day will be hard...so finding that happy medium for me is the key. I would love to go swimming lessons, baby gym etc with bubs but know I will have to fit that in on my time off....am thinking of working less hours but not really what i see as parttime. Most of those activities are in middle of day etc so even working 9 - 4 or something means i would miss out. I would be interested in knowing what some of you girls who have chosen to be SAHMs did in the "workplace" before bubs came along though? Is it easier to leave some jobs than others perhaps? I know a lot of the girls on USA sites give up work when pregnant etc even. Just thinking aloud... |
Posted By: Peace
Date Posted: 25 November 2006 at 12:02pm
I must say I absolutely love being a SAHM! I completely admire those girls that have gone back to work, I went back to work when Olivia was about 8 weeks old and it lasted for about 10 weeks and I just couldn't handle it anymore, being away from my baby was hell. I am such a sook . That and hubby said that I could and we got more money on family assistance anyways!
I don't want Olivia to go into child care IMO, if I can look after my child then I should do it. I do need to go back to work at some stage though... I just haven't decided when! ------------- DD1 May 2006 DD2 March 2011 DD3 August 2012 |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 25 November 2006 at 12:08pm
|
Bombshell I was a legal exec but I always wanted to be a SAHM before I got the job (had it for 6yrs before kids). I worked with another legal exec with kids, she worked 8.30am to 3pm and that seemed to be okay. Part-time depends on the business though, when I was looking at cutting down my hours towards the end of my pregnancy my boss really needed me to be full-time or not at all, given I was his only full-time support staff (small office of 4).
So anyway it was a big drop in money, especially because DH was studying full-time, but went with my heart. Some people manage to work Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday as another part-time compromise... just a thought. ------------- |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 25 November 2006 at 12:35pm
|
I have had a million jobs and SAHM is the toughest - without a doubt - no days off, 24/7 hours. no sick days, no holiday pay, in fact no pay at all! And your boss is 2ft tall and highly egocentric. Lovely! Like to see how many people would apply for THAT if advertised.
I am going a little crazy being a SAHM acually. I'd love to get out and get a part time job but with lewis' hours being all over the place, and I am studying to be a high school teacher, so have a course in March and 6 week placement in may to do. I may do some relief work next year, which would suit me well. i can work around lewis' schedule (he's a bar manager) and get some out-of-the-house time as well. One of the best things I have ever done is institue the "day off". Every Thursday morning is my "day off" and I take off with the car leaving lewis to the boys/ Absolutely brilliant! Although the first couple of tiems I felt really guilty! as for going back to work, When Taine turns 3 and is eligible for that free 20 hours coming in, I will probably go back to full-time work. saying that, we have also talked about having another baby around that time, or maybe a year later, so who knows. We are extremely lucky in that our house is rent free - so we don't have huge rental costs to worry about, although we are planning to save for a house once i work. |
Posted By: mumandbubs
Date Posted: 25 November 2006 at 12:40pm
| If I did have my ownlittle business where I could take Austin I'd be a stay at home mum too. As it is it isn't much different because he's with me, we're just not in our house. at home I'd be in the lounge or he'd be in his bedroom sleeping, at work we're in the shop front or he's in his bedroom out the back sleeping. |
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 25 November 2006 at 1:20pm
|
I love being a SAHM although it does annoy me how my childless friends think I sit at home and do nothing all day and should jump at the opportunity to go out with them on the weekend.
and I'm not the best SAHM lol my house is always a mess, tea is usually late but me and Jack have fun. My mum was a SAHM until I was 7 and I remember when she started working I was gutted cos I knew I would have to go to school every day. I think it would be so hard being a working mum there is no way I would be dressed and have bubs ready to go at 8 in the morning. |
Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 25 November 2006 at 2:35pm
| Lizzle - youre a student too??? WOW you rock! |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 25 November 2006 at 3:16pm
|
Bombshell - I didn't have a job before I had kids, I was at uni full time. I started my job here at OHbaby! when Maya was about 18 mths old, and somewhere in between time I wrote a book, but I am incredibly lucky to be able to do what I do from home and fit it around my child (and now children).
------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: james
Date Posted: 25 November 2006 at 7:38pm
i,m a sham and i love it sometimes and sometimes i wish i was working right now i work part time for my mum and i may have a job a babyfactroy part time but every little bit helps i use to think that being a stay at home mum was easy but i just think mum made it look easy  this is the hardest but most rewarding job ever and i never want to be fried ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 25 November 2006 at 9:05pm
| only part-time!!!! i do it after the kids are in bed - really sounds better than it is! i envy you Amy - sounds like you have th best of both worlds! |
Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 27 November 2006 at 8:14am
|
I am really torn on this issue for me personally - Some days I love being a SAHM and others I really resent it! I feel like I am not doing a very good job at home and that Joey would benefit froma t least a few days at Kindy or whatever to do all the messy play and other stuff I hate, LOL.
I will look at doing that once we have made the move to Blenheim in late Feb and then go about getting a part time job I guess. I think I just feel guilty being at home as my mum had to raise us kids on her own and always worked and that is my role model I guess?? ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 27 November 2006 at 9:17am
|
Thats why i love playcentre Ana, Jake has that "messy time" with paint and gloop and stuff, and then i don't have to clean it up here! that said, we do have playdough!
I had Jake enrolled one day a week at creche and I msut say, he loved it. They even helped me stop him biting and smacking people as we went down the road - which i will forever be grateful for! I am the same with SAHM thing, as in one day I'll be so frustrated and then Jake and Taine will do cute things and I will be really grateful I have the opporutnity to stay with them. Taine fell over yuesterday and was crying. Jake rushed up and gave him a huge hug, and rubbed his head until he stopped and giggled. SO CUTE!! |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 27 November 2006 at 11:23am
|
Ana when Hannah was about 20 mos old I really wanted her to have a lot more opportunities for painting and all those things so we went to a playcentre for a morning (2 hours) per week. It works well if you find one close enough and make friends. ------------- |
Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 27 November 2006 at 12:11pm
|
I've been a SAHM since Kiya was born... I've made a few of attempts at studying as well (one before Nat and I got married, one before having Josiah, and again before finding out Xavier was on the way) but that is now delayed indefinitely so I can be a mum and not stress over assignments (which I was). I will start studying after we've finished having kids, looking at maybe working parttime when the youngest starts school. At this stage, that means I'm going to be a SAHM for at least another 5-7 years before I start looking for work (which will mean I would have been out of the work force for at least 10 years) ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: jacobsmumy
Date Posted: 27 November 2006 at 2:47pm
|
i am a stay at home mumy but i do get bored threw the day
|
Posted By: luna
Date Posted: 27 November 2006 at 4:48pm
|
I'm a SAHM too and don't really have any plans to return to work any time soon. We'll probably have at least 1 more baby, and hubby and I agree it's important for me to stay home, at least until they are at school. I'm not sure what hubby thinks on p/t vs f/t work, but I definitely won't be going back full time even when they do start school. My mum was also a SAHM and hubby's was at home until he and his brother started secondary school (I think), and even then she was part time.
I really admire women who work while their kids are so young - it must be really hard! Some days (like today) I wonder how I found time to go to work?! lol ------------- Selina http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: littlejo
Date Posted: 28 November 2006 at 11:11am
|
Interesting a lot of you say you wanted to be SAHMs because that's how you were brought up - I want to be a SAHM because that's NOT how I was brought up!
My lovely father left when I was very little, so mum had to go back to work. Even once the kids are at school (obviously planning ahead here, as I'm only pg with No1) I may work part time, but really want to be available to run them round the place to different sports and activities. Ideally, DHs business will take off and I can just work on that. Of course, things could change once I have bubs and am living the reality of being at home... ------------- Jo Jo http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
|