Parents Rooms at the Mall
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=4662
Printed Date: 30 September 2025 at 2:22pm
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Topic: Parents Rooms at the Mall
Posted By: pepsi
Subject: Parents Rooms at the Mall
Date Posted: 29 November 2006 at 3:26pm
| You know those parents rooms at the mall?... well I was in one today along with a bunch of other mothers (some who were breastfeeding), and while we were all in the lounge-type area another mother came in with her boyfriend and he sat around in the room. What I was wondering is, should there be guys in there? I mean, I know it's a "parents room" but on the door itself it says "mothers feeding area"... I just felt a bit uncomfortable flopping out the boob with some strange guy in there... |
Replies:
Posted By: Peace
Date Posted: 29 November 2006 at 3:31pm
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That is a bit rank.
I would feel uncomfortable about it. ------------- DD1 May 2006 DD2 March 2011 DD3 August 2012 |
Posted By: Sarah Beth
Date Posted: 29 November 2006 at 3:42pm
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was it an area for breast feeding or a general area? If for breastfeeding, it is a bit odd, but then I imagine I would like the company of dh if I were there. ------------- "> 
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 29 November 2006 at 3:57pm
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some of them have curtained off cubicles with comfy chairs in them - prob for that very reason. and are you assuming it was the boyfriend - it may have been the father of the child.? ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: Katherine
Date Posted: 29 November 2006 at 4:12pm
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I think I would feel uncomfortable too, but I would think the guy would feel MORE uncomfortable! LOL! Imagine being the only guy in a room full of breastfeeding women... I remember when Emma Rose was about 6 weeks old, a (female) friend came to visit and we went to Botany to *try* to do some shopping. My friend and I were sitting in one of the curtained-off cubicles chatting while I breastfed Em, and we heard the door to the parents' room open and the voices of some teenage boys, horsing around, running in and out of the door. Well, I excused myself to my friend, stood up, whipped around the curtain and yelled at them, "If you don't get the hell out of here, I'm going to call security!" Em was still attached to my boob, mind you... The sight of this wild-haired woman with a baby attached to her boob must have shocked the hell out of them, because they all turned tail and ran. The room got really, really quiet after that... |
Posted By: ellabellame
Date Posted: 29 November 2006 at 4:16pm
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lol katherine, that's great!!
sam sometimes comes into the parents rooms with me but if someone else comes in he always excuses himself and leaves, i think he finds it more uncomfortable to be in the room with breastfeeding women than the women would. ------------- |
Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 29 November 2006 at 4:35pm
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Our parents rooms also have curtained off cubicles for that reason as well...and they are only marked parents rooms they don't say mum's only.
I've seen guys (including one who must have been in charge of the kids for a day) in them and B has come in before too. Often the dads seem to be in there helping out the mum's, I often see them do the nappy changes while mum has a sit down. To me it makes sense that dads be allowed in as well, I mean if they are looking after the baby then the baby still has to be changed and if the baby is taking a bottle and Dad is in charge he still needs somewhere quiet to sit down and feed baby not to mention somewhere to heat a bottle. I personally have no issues with it at all, maybe suggest to your mall that they have curtained cubicles like the Westfields do in Auckland. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 29 November 2006 at 4:45pm
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A parents room is what it says "parents" which also means dads. My DH hates when its mothers room or mothers something as for 2 days a week (during weekdays) he was the parent while I was at work and if Andrew needed changing then he would have to use the room if they were in town. Mothers feeding area is a little different if it says that on the door then that would say to me womans only area like the male and female toilets, but the mall would have to have somewhere that dad's can also go and change their children if they are the only one with them. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 29 November 2006 at 8:26pm
| I agree that parents room are to include fathers but if it is just a random boyfirnd comming in and sitting dwon in between all the BFeeding mums then thats not right as they can easily sit outside if they are of no use to the mother they went in with. Just personal preference i guess as it is kind of the same as a Maternity annex where fathers arnt allowed to stay for the patients privacy whether they are father or not...although in saying that i dont like that rule but guess it makes sense |
Posted By: pepsi
Date Posted: 29 November 2006 at 8:38pm
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Yes, I also agree that parents rooms are for fathers too but the specific breastfeeding area should not be. In the instance of the mall we were at, there were two seating areas - one near the entrance by the microwaves and changing tables and the other in the back where the mothers go and breastfeed.. This guys girlfriend was the one who was breastfeeding the baby (and yes I believe he was probably the father of the baby) - but I'm not sure why he would be required to sit in that area? Surely he should have sat and waited in the other seating area?
I guess personally I would never expect my husband to sit there with me out of respect to other women. |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 29 November 2006 at 8:46pm
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In Palmy there is the Mothers room off the womens toilets that has some comfy couches and a changing thingy. I have often wondered what a dad yould do if he was out with bubs and needed to change it. I guess they'd have to go to one of the other ones in town.
Anyway, ramble ramble, parents rooms should be for dads as well, and if those rooms have breastfeeding area as well it would be nice if they were curtained off. ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 29 November 2006 at 9:51pm
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Is that the one in the square? over by the male toilets in there is a "male and female parent's room.." i think that's what it's called.. and that has an adults toilet, a kiddie toilet, changing table and seat for sitting on.. so they can still use that one.. and there are some chairs around by the caretaker booth for if they needed to feed a bottle i spose. but the comfy couches would still be nice.
I'm the same though, mike came in with me if it was curtained off or if no-one else was there feeding, as soon as someone came in to feed he would leave. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja 
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 29 November 2006 at 10:03pm
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aimeejoy i might be wrong but i think that dad's are allowed to go change babies in the Palmy one by going through the other entrance? But haven't actually been there with DH so haven't really looked.
It is a tricky issue cause what is a bf or dh supposed to do while waiting for his dw/gf to finish up feeding the baby? I personally wouldn't mind someone else's other half coming in to be with them but if it was just some random guy I would probably get up and leave. -------------  |
Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 29 November 2006 at 10:35pm
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there are so many guys out there with custody of theior kids or who have contact times with them and there is def a need for them to have access to the parents rooms.
Also if i was out with Dh and he wanted to come with me while i was bf then I would expect him to be allowed in....I can tell you my Dh gets so embarassed anyways that he wouldnt look at anyone! |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 30 November 2006 at 7:35am
| In japan we had awesome parent rooms in the department stores, but as for public loos or in the train stations - mainly for women. Lewis had a hell of a time changing Jake's nappies sometimes. It is so bad that an online forum we belonged to tokyowithkids.com, had a thread advertising stations and areas with PARENTS room rather tnan just mum rooms. |
Posted By: Jennz
Date Posted: 30 November 2006 at 7:40am
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Its a tough one- I completely agree that men should be allowed to go into them, for changing bubs etc- but to sit there while a whole lot of woman are breastfeeding is a little different. Especially if there is another room available to sit in. I guess as a Dad he has probably completely disassociated from breasts at the moment so just thinks of it as a whole lot of Mums feeding their babies- probably didn't even occur to him that it would make you all uncomfortable as he wasn't even thinking about it. ------------- Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3 
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Posted By: rug_nz
Date Posted: 01 December 2006 at 12:19am
| Well as a man, it is hard, I have been in them with my wife and bub. I am full time SAHD now and if we go to the mall I change her(bub) before we go and feed also. But if she does need to be changed or feed even what am I to do? Parents room is the place is it not. I'm not going to change her on a seat in the food area. If theres a mum sittin in there feedin hers I can't wait outside till shes finished. |
Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 01 December 2006 at 12:50am
Yay ! Finally a male member  Is it just me or would this be the first bloke around in a long LONG time ?
In any case, welcome ! Oh, and as for the actual issue at hand, my local is Paws' local and while Rollie hasn't been in there with me (yet), he has done at the P&C show, and did today while we were out... I can personally see a necessity to have a place for both male and female parents (what about gay dads? mind you probably not alot of those around either...) but can also understand how some breastfeeding mums might not be comfortable with a male presence... (which is why some are lucky to have curtained areas) Wow, what a ramble... time for bed ! ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater 
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 01 December 2006 at 7:17am
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Yay a dad's perspective!! Enough said really.
We used the parents room again last night and B was in there with me and a dad was in with his wife also. B also reminded me that we once saw a dad in there tackling 3 kids! (go him!) I still think suggesting you mall put in a curtained area would help heaps, then women can have the privacy if they need it and dad's are still able to use the parents room without getting (so many)offended looks ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: rug_nz
Date Posted: 01 December 2006 at 8:54am
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OT - thanks for the welcome.
The other prob I'm going to find with this area is when she is older and going thou toilet trainin. Not usein the mens, can't go in the ladies (well can but would get slaped). have been to 1 loo that was for parents and it had a small change table and toilet in a little room. ------------- Look out! It's a man. SAHD 
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 01 December 2006 at 8:58am
I'd not slap ya in a female toilet! I mean... there are doors for a reason. I'd be just as offended if a female watched me pee as a male 
And go you! Personally, I didn't mind who saw my boobs... I found the only guys that were gross about the whole breastfeeding thing were my own freaking friends! All other males used to look away or busy themselves with something else.
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Posted By: pepsi
Date Posted: 01 December 2006 at 9:01am
Yay a male member!! Welcome!! It will be great to have some fathers perspectives :) Back to the topic of the thread, I would like to clarify what I have been saying as I think it has been misunderstood based on some of the responses. This is why I posted further details about the circumstances (above). I didn't mean males shouldn't be in the parents room...of course fathers are parents too...I meant they shouldn't be in the breastfeeding area - which is separate to where the nappies are changed and yes, there is another seating area they can sit in to feed and relax as well.. Anywhoo... |
pepsi wrote:Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 01 December 2006 at 11:24am
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I guess we're lucky in that one of parents rooms has a parent/child toilet in it so a guy wouldn't have to take his daughter into the mens or risk being slapped in the ladies. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: rug_nz
Date Posted: 01 December 2006 at 11:45am
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Haha I kind of like the idea of a slappin just to stir ofcause. ------------- Look out! It's a man. SAHD
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Posted By: mumandbubs
Date Posted: 01 December 2006 at 1:37pm
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The parents rooms I've been in (I've only been in 3 or 4, after working in one for a year I'm no longer a fan of malls) have all been 'parents' and all but one had curtained off feeding areas. The other didn't have a specific feeding area.
I always took Adam in with me, he's used them by himself and there are toilets for littlies. I always wondered about men and taking their little daugters into men's toilets, I know my dad did it a couple of times and it was ok (the urinal was a point of interest for me as a three year old though) better than leaving me to go alone. Mums always take in their sons! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
(and nappy expert) |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 01 December 2006 at 1:58pm
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I've only ever seen parents rooms which don't have separate areas for b/fing. It's one point which makes Palmy "small".
As for taking the toilet-trainee to the toilets, it's a bit confusing sometimes. Last time I went to toilet Hannah at The Warehouse she said "This is the wrong way, Daddy took me that way" lol. She's nearly 3 but she can't climb on without a stool... not that I'd want a 3yo going in alone  ------------- |
Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 02 December 2006 at 11:23am
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I certainly wouldnt feel uncomfortable with a dad going in to feed or change his bubs i would just feel strange if it looked like a random guy doing nothing but sitting there!!
I think its really great seeing fathers go in a feed and change their bubs! my hubby threw up everytime he tried to change Bay so no help there! 
Its awsome to see a dad on here too!! welcome
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Posted By: james
Date Posted: 02 December 2006 at 3:08pm
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you guys are lucky we have one pernents room in dunedin in the mall or you can take your baby to maccers but the change table is upstairs we do have curtain araes for b/feeding mums and if a dad had to come in it would,nt worry me a bit ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 02 December 2006 at 3:43pm
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If a man was in there I would assume he wouldn't be bothered by it so I'd whip my boob out. When we are out if there are males around I normally go somewhere else because I know my DP friends feel uncomfortable but they don't expect me to go somewhere in my own house.
I like the ones with cutains cos I think dads should feel comfortable in there and mums too who don't really wana see a boob. |
Posted By: rug_nz
Date Posted: 02 December 2006 at 11:24pm
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Thanks Baysmum, It's good to talk to adults.
I should go down to the Mall next week sometime and see what sort of reaction I get if I take Ash in to change her. I havent been in one by myself well with Ash that is. Henderson Westfield will be the place, hope its got a nice room. ------------- Look out! It's a man. SAHD
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Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 03 December 2006 at 8:34am
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Im going to go check out the parents room in every mall i go into now...might be kinda weird if people in there as no bubs but im so big now im sure people will understand...after reading this i think planning ahead will help too....it sounds like there are some great ones and some hopeless ones and as we are surrounded by malls i should suss them out now...
BTW welcome - a mans perspective will be nice. Esp that of a SAHD!!! My Dh would love to do that...and may be able to do one day a week when bubs is here...which i would love him to do! |
Posted By: nicola86
Date Posted: 04 December 2006 at 9:06am
my panter comes in with me as long as we have the curtian ones 
I mind be a bit dumb but what does SAHD stand for?? |
Posted By: KH25
Date Posted: 04 December 2006 at 10:00am
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Nicola - SAHD = stay at home dad... ------------- Kelly, mum to DD, 19Jun06 (26wks 1lb15oz) DS1, 24Oct10 (32wks 4lb11oz) and DS2, 31Dec11 (32wks, 4lb11) http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: rug_nz
Date Posted: 04 December 2006 at 10:11am
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Ya bet me to it KH25 ------------- Look out! It's a man. SAHD
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Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 04 December 2006 at 10:39am
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I think Henderson is a Westfield isn't it so it should have a decent parents room.
Don't be shy about using it rug_nz...I always get a kick out of seeing dads in them 'cos I love seeing dads so hands on! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 04 December 2006 at 10:55am
Ditto !! ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: rug_nz
Date Posted: 04 December 2006 at 11:41am
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I'm not shy when it comes to looking after my girl.
I just have never needed to go in one, she is #2's potty trained and her cloth naps are good for 3-4 hours, and remem I am a man and don't spend hours looking at shoes I can't afford and don't need to buy  haha.------------- Look out! It's a man. SAHD
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