ttc after 45
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Support
Forum Name: Coping with infertility
Forum Description: Have you been trying to conceive unsuccessfully? Dealing with primary or secondary infertility? Get support, advice, and help coping here.
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=46638
Printed Date: 06 May 2024 at 10:07am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: ttc after 45
Posted By: Rose224864
Subject: ttc after 45
Date Posted: 31 July 2017 at 4:24am
|
Hello ladies! I need your advice. I’m 47 yo, married, no kids. I was diagnosed with PCOS 12 years ago. My dh and I have been in ttc for 7 years already. Unfortunately treatments gave no results. We tried literally everything possible and nothing worked for us. We are thinking about ivf with donor egg. I don’t want to waste more time. I’m 47 and I’m actually not even sure that this procedure can be done in my age. Also we spent so much money on medications and treatments. We are looking for clinics with age limit 50 yo and affordable price. Also I’d like to talk with women, who had already undergone this procedure. How do you feel now? I have a fear that my child will look differently from me. I’m afraid that this procedure will influence my attitude towards a baby… Do you still have thoughts that your baby is not actually yours? I don’t want my child to feel that I treat him/her differently.
|
Replies:
Posted By: Claire224869
Date Posted: 31 July 2017 at 7:50am
|
Hi Rose! I’m sorry your treatment didn’t work. It's very nice you look for solutions. We should make everything possible to reach our aim. My husband and I also wanted to have children. Though we had some doubts about the procedure, now we have no regrets. We had ivf with donor egg in Ukraine. I was diagnosed with Turner syndrome. So this procedure was my only chance to have children. My husband and I decided we should give it a try. When we were looking for clinic, the main criteria for us were positive reviews, professional doctors and good service. We've chosen Ukrainian clinic BioTexCom. Our neighbors tried donation there and the procedure was successful. They shared their reviews and thoughts about the clinic and the process with us. Also we've read some reviews of other couples, who were their clients, about good specialists, high rates of successful treatments and fertilization procedures. I've got pregnant from 2nd attempt. I gave birth to my little girl last year. I love her so much and consider her as my own baby! I’m sure, as soon as you feel baby inside of your stomach, you’ll forget about egg donor. My daughter is my little copy, because we asked the clinic to find donor with my features. Speaking about price, we chose package called 'double' for 6 900 euros. The package implies two attempts. There was also package with 5 attempts. In case of this package the clinic pays money back if all tries fail. The clinic provided us with translator and accommodation. They also provided us with taxi, which waited us in the airport and then it was carrying us across Kiev. Be very careful! There are really many fraudsters. I advise you to contact clinics directly. Each clinic has an official website. There you can find all needed contacts like phone or email. Pay attention to all reviews, both positive and negative. Don't be afraid to ask them questions! Good luck xx
|
Posted By: Rose224864
Date Posted: 31 July 2017 at 10:11am
Dear, thank you so much for your response! I couldn’t hold back my tears reading your reply. You speak about your daughter with such love and kindness! Your words make me believe I’ll also feel so about my child! I'm afraid when my child will grow up, he/she will hate me because of this. Are you going to tell your daughter about the procedure? I watched a tv show about de ivf. Some children started to look for women, who shared eggs with these kids' mothers. That was so sad. Those mothers didn't deserve such attitude. They made everything possible for their children to have all they need and even more. And here is gratitude. Maybe it’s too early to think about it. But I don’t want to destroy child psyche. At the same time I don’t want to lie my baby… I’m absolutely confused!
I appreciate your support! There was no one I could talk about my problem. I'm glad that finally I can expose my feelings and receive understanding. I'm glad your story has a happy ending! I hope I'll have a family I’m dreaming about very soon. I'm so tired to live by dreams... I don't want to lose time. Could you please tell me more about this Ukrainian clinic? Why did you choose it? How much did you pay for all those additional services? I mean taxi, housing, translator, etc.? To be honest I have so many doubts about this country. There is war now. I’m not sure it’s safe to go to Ukraine now. Also I have concerns about their medicine… Price sounds good. And I’ve read many reviews about this country. But still I have many questions and doubts about it. I hope you’ll help me to clear everything out! I'll be very grateful for any information!
|
Posted By: Claire224869
Date Posted: 31 July 2017 at 11:47am
|
You're welcome dear! I'm always ready to help! You've already made a huge step. You're in the beginning of your de ivf journey already! Don't forget about that) I'm sure you'll become a happy mother very soon! We've chosen BioTexCom clinic after conversation with our neighbors. Actually they didn't want to reveal the fact they've undergone this procedure. But during a small home party I've told Erica about my disease and that I can't have kids. Little by little and she told me about the procedure and the clinic. The clinic checks egg donors carefully. All requirements to donors were specified in the package we've chosen. First requirement is age of donor. All their donors are 18 – 25 years old. Second requirement is perfect physical and mental health. And third requirement is absence of genetic diseases in the donor and her family. Those services were already included into our package. We didn't pay extra fees. We paid only that single price, which was set in our contract. If you have more questions feel free to ask)
|
Posted By: Rose224864
Date Posted: 31 July 2017 at 12:47pm
|
Sounds very good! Because we counted how much it will cost to hire taxi, translator and staying at hotel. I should say price turned out to be huge! Did you pay all sum at once? I'm a little bit afraid to give all money right away. You never know what will happen tomorrow. And also I've read a couple of stories. Some clinics got money and then started to protract with the process. They received what they wanted and their attitude changed completely... So unprofessional and rude! How much times did you attend the clinic? What about housing? I mean, did the clinic provide you with it both times? Or it was a one-time service? And what about medical tests and ultrasounds? Did you have to do them each time in biotexcom? Just want to count how much money we should save for flights. Did you choose donor for donation by your own? Did the clinic give you photos or else? What did you consider in your selection? I'd like donor to look like me. If it's possible of course. It doesn't really matter. I will love my child anyway. But still it would be nice my baby to have some features of mine. And also I have a very big concern. There is war in Ukraine. Is it safe to go there? I'm sorry, so many questions!!! I don't want to bother you much. I just want to be fully prepared. I know you can never be ready for everything. But still I'd like to know all details. It's better to talk with someone, who has already had the procedure. I'm a little bit afraid to go to foreign country knowing nothing) Hope for your help!
|
Posted By: Claire224869
Date Posted: 31 July 2017 at 2:15pm
|
I understand you! Each penny counts in such situation. Because costs will be very high after baby birth! So there is no spare cash. We've chosen package called 'Success' for 9 900 euros. This package is ideal for couples, who wish to avoid risk. The package implies five attempts. We visited clinic 3 times. There were 2 payments. So we paid 4 950 during first visit and second half of money during second visit. It's okay dear. I was in your hide! I knew nothing about the procedure. You won't know all process until you undergo it) Contact of clients with donor is prohibited by law. That's why you can't choose donor by yourself. But you can provide desired phenotype! The clinic will choose donor for you, basing on your requirements. We gave our doctor list with all features we want our donor to have. For example, eye color, hair, nose shape etc. They gave us 3 variants and we chose the most suitable donor for us. We visited biotexcom for 2 times. The first attendance lasted 2 days. During this visit we had medical examination. Also we were provided with information about the program, organizational and medical parts and terms of the contract. Our second visit lasted for 6 days. We had sperm pick-up, fertilization of donor's eggs and embryo transfer. The clinic provided us with accommodation during both our visits. By the way, food supply was provided too. Our doctor assigned the treatment plan for us and gave us all needed instructions. We didn't go to biotexcom for ultrasounds and tests! All these we did in our local clinic. Then we just had to send the results to our manager by mail. So there was no extra waste of money)
|
Posted By: Rose224864
Date Posted: 09 August 2017 at 8:31am
Thank you so much for clarifying all this! You've helped me so much and I appreciate it! Three options are pretty enough to choose one. Maybe appearance is not that important in such situation... But if we have chance to choose we'd like to use this opportunity) Such a relief that we can make all tests at home! Tickets are not that cheap. And the fact that clinic provides housing during all visits is so satisfying! Everything sounds pretty good. We'll definitely contact the clinic in one of these days. I need just few more answers from you. Were there other couples in the clinic? And generally, were there many people? I think it says a lot about 'popularity' of the clinic among infertile couples.
|
Posted By: pagerlvy33237502
Date Posted: 13 April 2019 at 6:51am
I do not think anything about my baby not being mine. It is fine. I am also ok with the thought of adopting a child. too bad I cannot. But raising a baby conceived and born by someone else is totally fine by me. the thing is, that you become a mother when you have the baby on your hands. you will be the best mom if you raise your child properly. give them home, food, love and support them. and i am 100 per cent ready for it. I am ready to do my best.
It may come out a bit desperate. but I do believe that love can be shared with anybody. and giving life to another human being (one way or another) is the main priority for many of us. And if not for you, this baby wouldn't exist. I keep thinking about it. That we (my hubby and I) did everything to make this baby happen. We do hope that our SM gets pregnant from the first try. We are so new to this world. We are so excited. The thing is that I feel like babies born via ivf or surrogacy are really special. so many people have worked for them to see this world. and you should remember it.
We're happy that the biological mother of our future child is from Ukraine. the agency we have signed with is WCOB. It is not that known on forums but is pretty popular on Facebook. Anyways, we are happy that our baby is going to pass the Ukrainian genes along with my husband's dna. we think that the world is changing. and it is important to go along with the changes. we want all of the people on this planet to love each other. to support everybody as well.
|
|