New Job.
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=4664
Printed Date: 14 October 2025 at 12:20pm
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Topic: New Job.
Posted By: ellabellame
Subject: New Job.
Date Posted: 29 November 2006 at 4:11pm
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Well, sams been offered a new job.....in reefton. i told him in no uncertain terms that i am not, repeat, am NOT moving back to the west coast but he says this is too good an opportunity to pass up. so he's going.
his roster means that he'll be working 7 days on, 3 days off then 7 days on, 4 days off. so really it's not that bad, it could be worse i guess. he'll only be away for a week at a time. i know there are many mothers whose partners are away for much longer periods at a time but i still don't know how i'm going to manage being basically a single mum for that time, not to mention i'm going to miss him like crazy!!! i'm worried mikeys not going to know him anymore. at the moment, everything to mikey is dada this, dad that, he's crazy about his dada! if sam suddenly leaves mikey's going to be so sad. 
sorry about the long whinge. ------------- |
Replies:
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 29 November 2006 at 8:46pm
Oh that sucks! Hrmmm... have absolutely no advice to offer ya... but hugs through internet cables do instead? 
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Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 29 November 2006 at 8:52pm
Oh Ella  SOrry, I dont really know what to say either, but hopefully it will all work out. Just think of how nice it will be the days that you do get to spend together  ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 29 November 2006 at 8:54pm
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i was away from Lewis for a few months while firstly, waiting for Jake to get his visa, and then waiting for Lewis to finish his contract. I can say honestly that it is tough. I was living with my ,um while Lewis was away wehich made things heaps easier- although she worked. We got into a routine pretty quickly which helped with me feeling like a solo mum. I also tried to ensure we got out of the house every nice day we had. Do you have any coffee groups around? personally I have found my local playcentre group wonderful for some adult company!
As for Mikey missing his dad, that is tough. Jake asks now "where's dad?" all the time (dad is at work). We got a webcam and organised days for talking. I also emailed Lewis everyday with pictures and what the boys were up to. Lewis tried recording his voice reading some of Jake's favourite books too. didn't work, but good idea all the same. I also had a book I made - one for Lewism, one for Jake, of phootos of them together. we looked at it each night and talked about where Daddy was, when he was coming home, and how much he loved Jake. The big problem Lewis had, when he came back, it took Jake a while to "get used" to him again. He found that really tough as he ran to him, ready to give him a big hug, and Jake kinda freaked out at the airport and ran to me. |
Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 29 November 2006 at 10:37pm
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You mean he is going without taking you and the kids into consideration or discussing it??? You gotta be kidding me....
Sorry but thats not the way i work it!! |
Posted By: ellabellame
Date Posted: 30 November 2006 at 8:35am
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oh we did discuss it, i made sure of that. but he did make me see that this is a really good opportunity. we can save heaps of money and then when we sell the house in greymouth we can buy one in nelson and live there for good. so it's really a positive step.
thanks liz, those are some really good ideas. i'll definitely be sending sam heaps of photos of mikey and he will be seeing him every week for afew days so hopefully mikey won't forget him. ------------- |
Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 30 November 2006 at 8:35am
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aaargh, that sounds really hard!! I don't think I could handel Peter being away from us!! Where are you living now? Will it be far to come and go? Is Reefton really that bad? (sorry I haven't been to the west coast since I was about 6, hehehe)and is there no way he will talk to you about it? I think that is pretty crappy to just say he is taking the job without taking you guys into consideration!! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: ellabellame
Date Posted: 30 November 2006 at 2:57pm
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i'm in nelson at the moment, reefton's about 2 1/2 hours drive away so it's not too bad.
but no, i wouldn't want to live on the coast again, it rains all the time and i can't go visit my family whenever i want. i've sort of come to the realisation that this will be quite a good thing for us even though i'm going to miss him horribly. it's all sort of building towards the future. ------------- |
Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 30 November 2006 at 3:36pm
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I read your thread before and didnt know what to say....I still dont!!
But thought I should let you know that we are sending you big hugs!! As for Mikey (got the sp right this time) I am sure he will be fine...he is already one and remembers Dad well and 2.5 hours away is not that bad!! It will be hard at first but if it means a better future for all of you then I guess it is worth it!!  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 30 November 2006 at 3:58pm
| I would give Sam some ideas to what him and Mikey can do together too. sometimes Dads get a bit stumped. Make sure he gets some time alone with Mikey when he comes back to "reconnect", that said, the most MOST important thing I can not stress enough - make sure you and Sam get some alone time - to reconnect and really tyalk - try and go out for dinnre or something - alone! Lewis and I didn't and we have been having major problems because of it. you really need that "us two" time if he is going to be away so much. |
Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 30 November 2006 at 4:25pm
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I agree with Liz about alone time with Hubby.
Atish lives in the same house as Me but we found that we have been always having small arguments and fights....we sat down once trying to understand why...then realised that since Zaara's birth we have never done any thing alone...just the two of us. Our lives revolve around Zaara and every thing we do we do with her...me more so than Atish. Atish had a few boys night out while I have never left Zaara to go any where (except work). We decide that it is time to do some thing about it!! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 30 November 2006 at 5:47pm
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well if it was me - and i realise its not - i would just say bugger it, bite the bullet and go. i mean its not the end of the world and i can only imagine how hard it must be to work away from your family and feel that your wife/partner doesnt support you. men dont communicate well so we can only try and guess at how they really feel.
if it was reversed would you expect him to support you and live where you found the best opportunities.? ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: ellabellame
Date Posted: 30 November 2006 at 7:05pm
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gsmum - yes i've thought about that but i've also moved 4 times because of his job 3 of those times were with mikey and every time it's gotten harder and more disruptive for him. i thought it was time to let him settle down and get a bit of security back into his life.
sam has said that we'll try it and if it looks like it's going to cause to much hassle, either with his relationship with mikey or our relationship then he'll come straight back. and i would never want him to think i didn't support him, he knows my reasons for not going and he understands so phew, lucky i've got an understanding partner ------------- |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 30 November 2006 at 7:38pm
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Sounds like you two hae got it sorted Ella I can totally understand now why you want to stay (with all the other moves) and thats cool that he will come back if things arent working out. ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 30 November 2006 at 7:49pm
just quietly i sometimes wish that my husband would get offered a job 3 hrs away....
ellabellame that is a lot of times to move - i prob would have said i'm staying here too if i'd had to move that many times...i didnt mean to sound harsh or anything but wanted to present the other point of view. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: ellabellame
Date Posted: 01 December 2006 at 9:45am
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oh don't worry about it gsmum, i wasn't offended. i'm open to all opinions ------------- |
Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 01 December 2006 at 11:23am
I love Nelson!! I wouldn't want to move from there either!  ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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