My friend story
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Category: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Name: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Description: Trying to get pregnant? Going through fertility treatment? Just planning your first or second child? There are many people out there in the same boat to help and listen and share with
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=46676
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Topic: My friend story
Posted By: younglady
Subject: My friend story
Date Posted: 25 September 2017 at 10:19am
Today I want to share my friends’ confession, As she shared with me.
I’m married person. I got married 2 years ago. Before the marriage. I had an affair with a young boy. We did sex (unprotected) several times. And I got pregnant. But he was not a serious person. So I ended up with abortion. Now my husband wants his baby. We are trying but its not working. He asked me to go with him for the medication. But I’m afraid that my past will hunt my future. That’s why I told him that we should not give up and keep trying. But now we have done a lot. I’m afraid that what if just because of the abortion I lost my fertility. If the doctor asked me regarding my past in front of him. Then what I’m goanna say. I really need help. I didn’t tell about my past to my husband. Please help me.
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Replies:
Posted By: luha226083
Date Posted: 25 September 2017 at 10:13pm
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Hello, today I read your post and decided to answer you. You see, what happened before, then you can not fix it. Yes, this is your mistake and you will remember it all your life. But I do not think that your husband fell in love with only your positive qualities. Surely he loves everything in you - both good and bad. Why did you decide that he would be disappointed in you? I think you need to tell him. You see, he is not stupid, he will understand that everything is not easy. He will force you to go to the doctor and then everything will be even worse. Because when he finds out that you have kept everything from him, he will take offense at you. Better tell him everything now, maybe he will be upset or offended. But all the same it will be the first step to overcoming this problem. He will not blame himself for not having children. And you can find a good clinic and do IVF there. And also you can use the program of surrogate motherhood. Of course, not in all countries commercial surrogate motherhood is allowed, but you can go abroad. For example, I know that in Ukraine there are many clinics in which it is possible to do IVF procedure or use the service of surrogate motherhood. But first of all you need to tell your husband everything. Perhaps he will understand everything, he loves you, which means that he accepted you with all your shortcomings. After all, I'm sure that he, too, is not perfect. You do not know what happened to him in the past. Each of us has mistakes in the past, mistakes of youth. Unfortunately, we can not fix many of these mistakes. But do not think about them all the time, because you are losing your future. Maybe you just need to undergo a course of treatment. Why are you running away from your problems? Tell me, are you seeing a doctor? Have you had an abortion at a late age or after an abortion there were complications? In which country do you live now and what methods of eliminating the problem are you considering? You know, it's just that we are going to fly to Ukraine for the program of surrogate motherhood. We have already decided on the clinic and I can keep you informed. You just need to consult with the gynecologist you are seeing. You must know your exact diagnosis and forecasts for the future. I would like to support you in this forum.
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Posted By: tori236713
Date Posted: 17 February 2019 at 10:04pm
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Hi, how are you doing now, maybe your situation has somehow changed? I agree with the previous comment to the full. This is your mistake you made in the past. Unfortunately, you can not change it. But, fortunately, at the moment reproductive technologies are developing very rapidly. And you can choose for yourself (depending on your problems) a suitable method.You can consult your doctor about the IVF procedure. And also, surrogacy is in great demand now. But, surrogacy is not available in every country. Therefore, if you need to join the surrogacy program, you will have to go abroad or agree to the terms of the legislation of your country. My friends studied this problem well enough and decided to go to one of the Ukrainian clinics. They plan to visit the clinic for prior consultation. However, they had time to get acquainted with their conditions and prices, and it suited them.Of course, everyone has different views on the criteria for the selection of clinics. And in turn, you need to focus on your own preferences. If you are interested, you can write me after a while, when my friends visit this place.
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Posted By: pagerlvy33237502
Date Posted: 27 April 2019 at 11:46am
honestly it is always better to be 100 per cent open before your spouse. it is the secret of healthy family life. and you should consider opening up before you have kids. just because it is what is marriage and relationships are all about. being honest and being fully together.
I wish you and your friend the best of luck
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Posted By: Amanda250156
Date Posted: 17 November 2019 at 6:47pm
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It seems to me that you should inform your husband about this. Firstly, you are acting dishonestly, hiding this fact from him. Secondly, it will become easier for you when you reveal the whole truth to him. After all, you do not want your husband to lie to you and hide something from you. And then, you will act according to new circumstances. If the husband does not forgive you, this will be his choice. But hiding from him such an important fact is very reckless in the context of this situation.
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Posted By: Tiana250157
Date Posted: 02 January 2020 at 6:33pm
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It is important to find out what caused the inability to conceive for such a long time. Perhaps an abortion done at a young age is not the main reason. You know that the male factor may be the cause of this failure. If an abortion does not affect the possibility of conception, you can not tell your husband about it. Generally, even if the main reason is an abortion, your husband cannot judge you. But to tell him that you may have difficulty in conception is necessary. It will be more honest, right?
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