Breastfeeding
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
Forum Description: Want help? Need support? Want tips? Men and women share advice and tips in this supportive community
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=4698
Printed Date: 10 October 2025 at 3:41pm
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Breastfeeding
Posted By: Maya
Subject: Breastfeeding
Date Posted: 02 December 2006 at 8:34am
|
I guess I already know the answer to this question, but I'll ask it anyway - when do I say enough is enough?
I have tried and tried and am getting nowhere. I am sooooo over the expressing all the time, and so I decided I would give the breastfeeding till the end of the weekend and if it doesn't improve then I would give it away. But last night I screamed at Maya because she was trying to talk to me while I fed and I was in so much agony. And this morning I had to ask her to leave the room again. PLus Sienna wouldn't stay latched so she was on and off like a yo yo, and every time I latched her it hurt like heck. Problem is I know from feeding Maya that if I stick with it long enough it will get easier. But I don't know if I can stick it out, or even if I SHOULD given how much it hurts and how grumpy it makes me. It's not fair on Maya, and she gets upset because every time I feed I cry my eyes out. So I am thinking it's time to chuck it in. The midwife said that the first 8 weeks are the most important in terms of passing on immunity, and the girls are 7 weeks today. I have enough frozen milk to get me thru the next week, plus I will have to keep expressing a little to reduce my supply slowly so they should be able to keep having breast milk to at least 8 weeks. I just feel so guilty tho. I have such a great milk supply it seems like a waste to give up, and I feel selfish for doing whats best for me instead of what's best for my babies. But then it hurts so much that the thought of having to feed them makes me grit my teeth. Not to mention the $40 a week to keep the pair of them in formula. But at least I will be able to have dairy again  -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Replies:
Posted By: mum2emj
Date Posted: 02 December 2006 at 8:48am
|
hugs emma, its not an easy descion to make, but it sounds like you would be doing whats best for everyone really. cant be nice being in heaps of pain, and i always do stick with a happy mum = happy kids. i can relate to the telling the older child off too, i did that with my girls when they were around me feeding kayla getting in the way etc... felt really guilty because they were just curious and trying to help.
your doing so well with your 3 girls  look after yourself...
|
Posted By: Jennz
Date Posted: 02 December 2006 at 8:48am
|
Its a tough one isn't it! I don't have a yes or no answer for you but I really think you just need to do what is right for you- weigh up the pros and cons eg guilt and money vs you and helping things be ok with Maya- and see how you feel.
I too had an awful time breast feeding/expressing and it didn't get better until she was about 10 weeks. I hated that 3 courses of antibiotic had to go through her system because of my repeated bouts of mastitis and the pain from those first few weeks (and thrush in my nipples!) was unbearable- her spill contained so much blood from my nipples cracking it was just disgusting. I still maintain that for me breastfeeding was far far worse than labour! I am really pleased I stuck with it as once things settled it was great but have decided that if I get 2 bouts of mastitis this time then I am giving up. Yeah so my advice is a pro con list and maybe set yourself a limit- if such and such happens or doesn't happen (maybe if it hasn't improved by 8 weeks) then you give yourself permission to give up. ------------- Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3 
|
Posted By: james
Date Posted: 02 December 2006 at 8:57am
awwww emma i no how you feel when i gave up b/f james i had the biggest guilts it hurt sooo much to feed and i was under soo much stress at the time it was not the most nice time in my life i did b/f-express for 7 weeks and i,m glad i did but for my own and familiy sanity it was the best thing to do i wont lie i still feel guilty about not b/f james now and then even now but i still have a great bond with james and i no bottle feeding didnt hurt him in anyway it is relly up to you but with me it was sainty or b/feeding and i chosse sainty you have done soo well to b/feed this long with two and although i in no way am trying to make you give up if its better for you to bottle feed the gremilns then i would do it but if you want to b/feed and can wait a extra week or so it may get better big hugs hunny i no its a big desiosin and only one you can make but we are all hear for you whatever you decide ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 02 December 2006 at 9:09am
|
Tough choice Emma, but hey, I hope you don't feel guilty no matter what you decide. Either option is good for your family. ------------- Andie |
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 02 December 2006 at 10:19am
| You should be proud you got this far with 2 wee razormouths sucking. Is one harder to feed than another? cos maybe you could keep feeding the easy one. |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 02 December 2006 at 10:36am
|
yeah I was thinking the same Rach, Marlene (k&jsmum) just feed one didnt she? My theory on decisions like this Emma, are that you probably already know what you want to do, make the decision, stick with it and dont look back on it with guilt. You're not being selfish, you are also thinking of Maya here too. Good luck ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: yummymummy
Date Posted: 02 December 2006 at 11:16am
|
Emma, this will be a silly question probably, but does expressing hurt as well or just b/f the girls?
I'm just curious that's all as I'm planning on expressing mostly (until I get sick of it that is). ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
|
Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 02 December 2006 at 2:57pm
| dont feel guilty, do whatever is right for you. |
Posted By: AnnC
Date Posted: 02 December 2006 at 5:07pm
|
advise is what i said to my friend who felt guilty that she gave up as it wasn't orking...
I beleive the babies sense when mother is upset with breastfeeding so it becomes mother and child unhappy so it takes time to work or never does get better. so if you are happy bottke feeding so your girls will be. I know breast is suppose to best but not in all cases. besides you've done almost 8 weeks they got the best stuff. So don't feel bad you are doing great. ------------- Ann 
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10) |
Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 02 December 2006 at 5:23pm
|
I think everyone has already summed it up...you need to make the best decision for you and if that is to not longer breastfeed then don't feel guilty at all!! I also stuck with the rule happy mum = happy baby and it worked for me and Maddie.
You are doing an awesome job! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 02 December 2006 at 7:15pm
|
Emma it must be really tough trying to keep up with twins and expressing besides. Maybe you could slow some of the expressing from now? That would probably help you feel a little more sane (a little less "cow").
Is the pain able to be stopped within a week? I don't exactly know what the cause is but presumably your m/w is helping out there with nipple shields etc etc. The other thing is, will Sienna's kidney infection be improved with/without b/f? I think you already know that you can either give up next week and go onto formula - in which case you'll have to heat every bottle and still handle Maya talking to you when feeding, but yay not in pain - or stick with it and let things improve. That's really a decision you've got to make. Being in pain is not fun, even for a limited time. ------------- |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 02 December 2006 at 7:59pm
|
Thanks I rang Plunketline this morning to ask them about how much formula etc. they're going to need each feed and the lady was so good, I fully expected a "don't give up" lecture and instead all she kept saying was "do what's best for you". So I think my mind is made up.
Yummymummy - expressing only hurts when my nipples are damaged, which is pretty much every time I put the babies near my breasts. When they are healed it doesn't hurt at all. But if you want my advice (and I'm going to give it anyway lol  ) if you can breastfeed it is waaaaaay easier than expressing. With expressing it means I spend 10-20minutes expressing each feed, then have to feed the girls which takes about 20 minutes, not to mention all the time sterilising the bottles and breast pump, plus they way they scream the house down in the few minutes it takes to heat their bottles (you can't microwave breast milk).
Busymum - the whole heating bottles thing isn't such a big deal as I'm doing that already with the expressed milk. And talking to Maya while I'm bottle feeding is fine, sometimes she even helps, it's just the absoulte agony of breastfeeding that puts me on edge and makes me snap at her. I'mnot sure whether it has an impact on Sienna's kidney or not? I know the breastfeeding is better for Mercedes reflux to a certain degree, but then with the Neocate we can ensure that she has nil exposure to dairy protein which is harder with breastmilk. I will ask the renal specialist about the kidney thing tho. I guess the big thing is that the girls are now 7 weeks and I feel like if I haven't got the feeding sorted by now then I never will. I still feel hugely guilty tho  ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: LockieandLiam
Date Posted: 02 December 2006 at 8:59pm
|
I think you have done a great job Emma to get this far. I can only imagine what it must be breastfeeding with twins. One of the ladies in my antenatal group had twins and she gave up around the 7-8 week mark as well. I don't really see it as giving up, like the others have said do what works for you and don't feel bad about it. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 02 December 2006 at 9:26pm
|
Awwwww Emma don't feel guilty. You've given your girls a great start and its not like changing them to formula is going to disadvantage them. I think you're making the right choice. ------------- |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 02 December 2006 at 9:50pm
|
I agree, keeping up with just one is hard, making enough for two, must be sooo draining on your body, not to mention actually looking after them and a 3 yr old.
You have done extremely well, stop kicking yourself woman and start patting yourself on the back! ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja 
|
Posted By: 11111
Date Posted: 02 December 2006 at 10:40pm
|
What everyone else has said you have done an amazing job ------------- Deborah Mum to:   
|
Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 03 December 2006 at 8:28am
| Emma do what feels right for YOU!!!! Its noone elses decision.... |
Posted By: AlyAyde
Date Posted: 03 December 2006 at 11:50am
Good on ya for lasting as long as you have girlfriend! These last 7 weeks have not been easy for you! And Knowing you, you are going to beat yourself up about it. Just remembering how you were after Maya. But look at what a healthy happy little girl she is. And im sure everyone in your house will be much happier when mummy is happier too because she doesnt have sore boobies and has more time on her hands.  ------------- Jayde 25/12/04 Alyssa 08/04/03 http://Alyayde.bebo.com |
Posted By: james
Date Posted: 03 December 2006 at 12:02pm
|
you have done sooo well emma i agree do whats best for you and the babys will follow and how cute ismaya helpng with the bottles ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: linda
Date Posted: 03 December 2006 at 7:44pm
| I guess no matter what, even having made the decision, you will have to work through the guilt. Most people will go through it from those that never breastfed to the ones that did it right through till the maximum. |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 03 December 2006 at 7:56pm
| if I were you Emma, I would stop. not telling you what to do or anything, but I know I couldn't handle all that you are going through. And you are pretty amazing to have gone through all that already! wow. |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 03 December 2006 at 8:02pm
|
Sucker for punishment is me Mum suggested as one last ditch effort that I keep expressing short term and work on giving each baby one breastfeed a day when I have either Willie or the nanny here to bottle feed the other one. That way I can focus on one at a time and getting them latched properly instead of trying to tandem feed them and just letting them munch because I have no spare hands to "unmunch" them.
So this is my last stand. I'll give it another week and if I can get them both feeding properly separately then they will know what to do and tandem feeding will get easier. If I'm still feeling munched then I will give it away and promise myself not to feel guilty coz I really have tried everything. Thanks for all your support and encouragement - apart from the feeding things are actually going OK. Must confess that the Plunketline nurse telling me yesterday that the girls will sleep longer on formula isn't the best incentive to keep up the breastfeeding... ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 03 December 2006 at 9:24pm
|
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxxoxoxox
You are doing an amazing job with all your little ones and cutting down/out breastfeeding isn't going to make one ounce of difference to what a brilliant mother you are! 
|
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 03 December 2006 at 10:24pm
|
Well said Nikki ------------- |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 04 December 2006 at 8:53pm
|
Well day one of the new regime and it went surprisingly well. I breastfed Sienna at 4pm while the nanny bottle fed Mercedes and it was all about how breastfeeding is supposed to be - she latched beautifully, snuggled up close to me, had a good 10 mins each side and best of all IT DIDN'T HURT!
Mercedes turn at 7pm was less successful, mainly because they have a 'top-up' feed of 50ml at 5.30pm to get them thru witching hour but tonight she was hungry and sculled 100ml so by 7pm she wasn't really hungry. BUt she did make a half-hearted effort. So far so good, here's hoping tomorrow goes as well. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: AlyAyde
Date Posted: 04 December 2006 at 10:07pm
|
YAY ------------- Jayde 25/12/04 Alyssa 08/04/03 http://Alyayde.bebo.com |
Posted By: Jennz
Date Posted: 04 December 2006 at 11:08pm
|
Thats good to hear you've come up with a plan you're happy with and that it seems to be going well. Good luck with it all and if things go pear shape at least you can know you tried your hardest and hopefully be guilt free! No one who knows how hard you've tried and what you've been through could ever judge you.
You're doing such a great job  ------------- Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3
|
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 05 December 2006 at 10:54am
|
Thats great Emma! ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 05 December 2006 at 11:32am
|
It sounds like the tandem style itself is hurting??? ------------- |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 05 December 2006 at 1:54pm
|
I think so Busymum. I wonder if its the football hold coz I could never get that right with Maya either.
------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 05 December 2006 at 2:03pm
|
I tried football hold a couple of times, can't remember why, and I found it very difficult too. Yay that you can enjoy the twins a bit more now though ------------- |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 08 December 2006 at 1:56pm
Well after talking to the lactation consultant at Family Centre she had yet another idea on how to cut down the expressing and get tandem feeding working, and what do you know, it works! I breastfeed one while simultanteously bottle feeding the other one propped up on a pillow. Means that after each feed I only need to express the side I didn't feed on which makes enough for an expressed bottle for the next round, and I just alternate which baby is breastfeeding at each feed.
 ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 08 December 2006 at 2:09pm
| Now that is multi tasking. well done Emma, looks like you've got it sussed. |
Posted By: AlyAyde
Date Posted: 08 December 2006 at 2:55pm
|
So cute. You go girl. They look so relaxed. ------------- Jayde 25/12/04 Alyssa 08/04/03 http://Alyayde.bebo.com |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 08 December 2006 at 3:13pm
Oh coooooool! Is it freaky of me to say that I love breastfeeding photos? Probably.  Ah well
Looks like you have everything under control! And you are looking great!!!
|
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 08 December 2006 at 3:15pm
|
Yeah I did wonder if it was a bit freaky posting a pic of me breastfeeding but as I have said before I am so pro a woman's right to breastfeed I should set a good example! PLus after having a baby you kind of get over your dignity... ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 08 December 2006 at 3:22pm
|
I am soooooo impressed, Emma! You go, girl! ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 08 December 2006 at 3:25pm
|
Dignity???? Huh???
|
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 08 December 2006 at 7:54pm
|
Let's hope they don't roll early ;) You all look very relaxed in that photo and it sounds like this way won't take up so much time expressing? ------------- |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 12 January 2007 at 7:06pm
|
BUMP! for Redbedrock. Hope this helps a little, even if just to reassure you that you are not the only one struggling with feeding!
BTW just for a laugh my girls get through 14 bottles of formula a day - what a lot of washing and sterilising! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: Redbedrock
Date Posted: 13 January 2007 at 10:23am
|
14 bottles, I stuggle to keep up with 6 or 7. How do you di it Emma? ------------- http://www.babysfirstsite.com"> 
|
Posted By: MyMinis
Date Posted: 13 January 2007 at 2:04pm
|
You did so well going for that long Emma.
I got mastitis real bad when I was feeding Haleigh she wouldve been around 6 days old, it was so bad I had bleeding nipples. I got put on antibiotics and expressed for 6 wks. I was too scared to ever latch her again, and also I was in tears everytime I fed so I can imagine what you went through. My antibiotics stopped my milk supply and Haleigh was getting hungry every 30 - 45 mins I was lucky if she would give me 3hrs to rest so I put her on formula and Im happy I did, the first night I did I got 8hrs sleep and had a happy baby. I started boiling my bottles once Haleigh went on formula as the smell of the milton tablets started getting to me, I think at that age we went through 6 bottles of formula and one of water. But wow 14 bottles is alot. I remember when I was expressing it was breast pump and bottles it was a teadious job ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
http://tweetytweety85.bebo.com - bebo |
Posted By: Redbedrock
Date Posted: 13 January 2007 at 3:58pm
|
Yeah i hate the milton too, i don't want fay to think that Mummy smells of bleach either, as well as ingesting the stuff, i know it's very dilute. glad I have my electric steriliser now. ------------- http://www.babysfirstsite.com">
|
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 13 January 2007 at 10:01pm
|
I use a microwave steriliser. I make up all the bottles at night (and it really is a sight seeing them all lined up in the fridge lol!) then just wash and sterilise them as I go during the day. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: MyMinis
Date Posted: 14 January 2007 at 8:11am
|
I jsut used boiling water. My karitane nurse said at 3 months we could stop sterilising, I didnt stop till Haleigh was 4months. I used to jsut put the water in the bottles at night then that way in the morning it was quicker to heat the water as I used the sit bottle in hot water method.
yeah washing as you go is an easy way especially with so many ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
http://tweetytweety85.bebo.com - bebo |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 04 November 2007 at 7:09pm
|
Bump for KateW - man this seems like a lifetime ago! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|