NEWSFLASH!!! I finally like my babies!
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
Forum Description: Want help? Need support? Want tips? Men and women share advice and tips in this supportive community
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=4939
Printed Date: 08 May 2026 at 2:34am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: NEWSFLASH!!! I finally like my babies!
Posted By: Maya
Subject: NEWSFLASH!!! I finally like my babies!
Date Posted: 20 December 2006 at 7:22pm
|
We have had a pretty shocking few weeks which all came to a head on Monday night when I ended up sitting on the driveway screaming my lungs out in frustration after the gremlins had been awake and shrieking for more than 12 hours. I was at the point where things actually couldn't get any worse, and I told my Mum (and anyone else who would listen) that I didn't even LIKE my babies - all they seem to do is scream and cry and get sick (bearing in mind that in 9 weeks we have had 3 trips to the after hours doc, 4 trips to Starship and God only knows how many trips to the GP) and I am just absolutely and utterly exhausted.
We saw the GP yesterday and I had a good talk with her about everything and she agrees that I DON'T have PND (despite everyone else being quick to diagnose!) - I am just seriously sleep deprived. She also said she doesn't think I am imagining the girls health problems coz I'd kind of gotten to a point where it felt like maybe the problem was ME not anything wrong with them. And also feeling hugely guilty for not liking them, and feeling like it's my fault they have the kidney problem (it's most likely inherited) and I've just been on a huge downwards spiral. Doesn't help that I bonded INSTANTLY with Maya when she was born - makes me feel sorry for the twins that I didn't have that with them too.Not feeling sorry for myself as such - more hating myself for being such a useless mother. Anyways, they were feral and grumpy all day yesterday and Maya and I ran away to Pizza Hut and left them screaming with Willie but they settled eventually, I woke them at 10 for a bottle and they slept till 4.15am which is the best they have done so far (except the night before when they went till 5am but that was after their mammoth all day screaming session). I have also had this niggling feeling that they are not developing along the right tracks, they haven't been vocalising at all, and then all of a sudden out of the blue tonight I was talking to Mercedes and she was smiling and started gurgling back. They have been much happier today and when I put them in their cots to sleep and turned their mobiles on they both smiled at them and looked really content and all of a sudden I realised that I do actually love them after all. It's been a long process, and probably ongoing but today just felt like a real breakthrough and I wanted to share. -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Replies:
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 20 December 2006 at 7:41pm
Yay, way to go! You've had a really tough couple of months Emma but I'm hoping things will get easier from here on. ------------- |
Posted By: emeldee
Date Posted: 20 December 2006 at 7:44pm
|
Babies are feral and grumpy...they get it from their father's side of the family....and then after umpteen weeks or so their mother's genes shine through and they become lovely. (the father's genes sometimes reappear during the teen years...be warned)
Anyway, back to topic - glad to hear that you are starting to make it through to the other side - you've had a hell of a couple of months. You're an amazing person to have coped so well - if I wore a hat it would be off to you. Lucky girls you have there having such an amazing Mum.  ------------- |
Posted By: Kazzle
Date Posted: 20 December 2006 at 7:46pm
|
big hugs to you Emma, you have been a super mum and i am so proud of you...its so nice when things start to go right...
Thinking of you and your family and im sure it can only get better from here on in. Oh and btw i think you always loved your babies but not necessarily liked them and thats normal...i have days where i love Rhiannon to bits but i dont always like her. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 20 December 2006 at 8:11pm
|
remember you do have two plus a toddler running around...so it is harder to bond with your "baby"...let alone with both of them....dont be so hard on yourself...
I can just picture you outside screaming...that is something i would love to do sometimes...let it out...!!! youve done really well coping so well so far!!! |
Posted By: ellabellame
Date Posted: 20 December 2006 at 8:32pm
|
it's great that you've finally been able to see that you love them. i can only imagine how hard the past couple of months have been for you.
you're a great mum and you've had to deal with a lot, don't be too hard on yourself, having a sick baby is hard, having 2 sick babies is even harder! ------------- |
Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 20 December 2006 at 9:02pm
| thats great Emma, sounds like you are doing a great job even if it doesnt feel like it all the time. |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 20 December 2006 at 9:13pm
You've done amazingly well to cope without screaming before now Emma! So glad to hear that you've turned the corner. I said this to someone on here the other day, but things have to hit rock bottom before they improve and then it really makes you appreciate the good times.  ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 20 December 2006 at 10:03pm
| Emma - hugs to you! I still can't believe you cope sooooo well with twins. i'm sure if it was me, i would've accidentlly left one at the supermarket or something by now. I think you are coping amazingly well, given the circumstances! |
Posted By: AlyAyde
Date Posted: 20 December 2006 at 10:13pm
Oh hun, Like i said in my text id been thinking about you all day. Im glad today went much better for you guys (apart from the dumb man  ) And when your as tired and as stressed as you are with having 2 sick baby girls its enough that you get through the day. You are doing a bloody brilliant Job!! ------------- Jayde 25/12/04 Alyssa 08/04/03 http://Alyayde.bebo.com |
Posted By: kezplanet
Date Posted: 21 December 2006 at 12:03am
|
YAY for Emma - as I wipe away the tears running down my face - those good moments make it seem all worth while. Sending you some more strengeth for when its needed ------------- Kerryn, Mum to Ashlyn(29/3/04), Anastasia(1/11/05) & Abigail (24/02/09) |
Posted By: luna
Date Posted: 21 December 2006 at 9:51am
|
So nice to read your post that things are on the up and up. Life's not easy with twins, let alone them being sick.
Try not to beat yourself up anymore - you are a GREAT mummy - I'm sure you just have to look at Maya to know that. ------------- Selina http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 21 December 2006 at 10:46am
|
Like every one has said...you are doing so well with two babies...man some days its hard enough with one...you have two + 1.....oh should I mention Willie??? LOL
I dont think you ever not love them Emma.....but yes lack of sleep and running around and being worried about your babies being sick must be sooo exhausting!!?? I am sure it is all uphill from here. Take it easy and Big ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 21 December 2006 at 9:40pm
|
...and don't feel ONE BIT guilty about things, Emma - you've nothing to feel guilty about (seriously). I think you're doing a stellar job. ------------- Andie |
Posted By: james
Date Posted: 21 December 2006 at 11:14pm
big hugs ema i rember feeling the same when james was little and yes i have done the screaming and crying thing aswell and it was the most stressful thing in my life and i only had one  but i also remeber the day i relised that i love my baby and it felt great soooo lots of hugs and rember your not alone you have us ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |