crying to sleep
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
Forum Description: Want help? Need support? Want tips? Men and women share advice and tips in this supportive community
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=5097
Printed Date: 12 October 2025 at 3:51pm
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: crying to sleep
Posted By: nicola86
Subject: crying to sleep
Date Posted: 04 January 2007 at 9:49pm
|
hi ladys
I was wondering what your thoughts are on letting your child cry to sleep. My doctor wants me to do that to jake who is just over 6months. He was sleeping tough the night from being born till around 3 weeks ago. He now wakes me about 10times a night. His doctor has done a check up and says nothing is wrong. But not to sure What do you all think? Thanks 
|
Replies:
Posted By: pepsi
Date Posted: 04 January 2007 at 10:10pm
|
Wow 10 times a night, you poor thing!!
I don't think there's anything wrong with letting baby cry a bit. I mean, as mothers I reckon we tend to recognise when a baby is crying out of pain (i.e. wind), or hunger or if they're just trying to get attention... So as long as everything is ok with them they should eventually fall asleep again. Alyssa occassionally has a moment during the night where you can hear her stirring and having a little whinge but we leave her and she goes back to sleep. If your baby is waking 10 times a night and you're going to pick him up every time, then maybe that could be why he's doing it? (That's assuming you are doing that).. Babies are smart though, they know how to work us parents!! |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 04 January 2007 at 10:40pm
There are other options than crying it out... I don't know them though! 
If you search the net you might be able to find some literature or articles... check your local library. Unfortunately or fortunately, I found that crying it out worked best for me. And not the method where you go in every couple of minutes, that made Hannah cry longer! Mine was the truly mean and nasty shut-the-door-and-don't-look-back type of crying it out (After I had exhausted every single other possibility). But that's just me. I'll google for ya. |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 04 January 2007 at 10:44pm
|
http://www.thesleepstore.co.nz/shop/Sleep+Books+&+DVDs/Babies+4+to+12+months/The+No+Cry+Sleep+Solution.html - The No-cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley
It gives a few more books down the bottom that might be of use. Good luck! |
Posted By: Peace
Date Posted: 05 January 2007 at 7:34am
|
I think the big(gest) thing about CIO is it's effects that it can have on not only the baby but you.
As a baby cries it's body releases cortisol and as you hear your baby cry your own body also releases a nice dose of cortisol too. This hormone is actually what your body releases in times of stress it has been showen (I believe) that babies who CIO have a lower stress thresh hold when they are older and it makes them more vulnerable to disease like heart conditions and diabetes (organ failure) and also can attribute to substance abuse. Also for the mother who recieves a healthy dose of the cortisol it makes their ability to cope with the stress of crying lower and makes them more vulnerable to PND and other such ailments. BUT. In saying all that. I was a CIO baby am not a drunken pot smoking hippie with dodgy heart valves and a bad case of the sugar munchies! And I see absolutely no reason why it is such a problem because as soon as babies learn to CIO and self settle they are less likely to do it. So I really think the whole terrifying part that you child will become a drunken pot smoking hippie with dodgy heart valves and a bad case of the sugar munchies is minimal. I hope I've helped instead of hindered! ------------- DD1 May 2006 DD2 March 2011 DD3 August 2012 |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 05 January 2007 at 9:01am
|
It only takes a few days usually before they relearn how to go to sleep by themselves, so personally I doubt whether a few days would have any negative effects on the baby. We did the CIO thing when we got to our wits end and since then she has had no problems. But yeah if its not for you there are lots of other effective ways I think they just take a little longer. ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 05 January 2007 at 9:01am
|
Peronsally I see nothing wrong with controlled crying, it's what we've done and we don't have many issues now.
We let her cry for 10 mins...go in, check on her, reassure her, but don't pick her up, then leave her for another 10 mins...she now won't grizzle longer then 10 mins. Usually much less if at all. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 05 January 2007 at 9:26am
|
i think the key is letting them cry a little, and DO NOT pick bubs up!!! If you MUST go in...then do but do not give in to the picking up...
often bubs is crying in sleep etc but not awake...pick up and bubs WILL wake up! then it is even harder to get bubs back to sleep. Has he got a crib mobile or something he can play with still? often they can focus on that until they go back to sleep....turn that on or move it around a little rather than touch bubs or pick them up... I agree it is hard for the mums cause your milk kicks in, hormones overwhelm you etc... i watched a friend who was not allowed to go back into the room after about the 5th time (her hubby and i ganged up on her) of bubs crying literally dissolve in a heap on the floor in front of us...but we stayed strong and made her do the same...bubs slept through from there and she knew we would do the same each night (we were in a bach) so she couldnt go into the room each night - end of holiday bubs slept through again...I still remember how awful it was to look at her - the poor mum!!! but it worked! |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 05 January 2007 at 9:29am
I did what Nikki did - shut the door and let Maya get on with it. Her longest session was 2 hours 45 minutes I was on the phone to PLunketline the whole time coz the lady knew if she hung up I would go in and get Maya and feed her to shut her up.
The reason why a lot of babies lose the plot about sleep at around 6 mths is that's when they begin to develop a recall memory - they learn to associate crying with the response ie. feeding, cuddles etc. So they know if they cry, they'll be comforted, whereas younger babies cry purely from physical need. That's why it is important to deal with the bad sleep behaviours in older babies otherwise they become ongoing. It took us about a week of mammoth crying sessions, which got shorter each day, before she got the message, and she's been a brilliant sleeper ever since (now the problem we hve is actually getting her to GO to bed!) -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 05 January 2007 at 11:09am
|
The Oh Baby book by Kathy Fray has an awesome chapter on sleep - have a look at your library ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 05 January 2007 at 11:10am
|
6mos is a tough stage, it's the first separation anxiety stage (of many ). So the first thing you can do is introduce some familiar cuddle toy or something because he's probably just half-waking and then realising you're not there before all out crying.
Briona at 6mos was still having two feeds a night, 10pm and 2am. But she suddenly started waking 3 times a night and I knew she didn't need anything from me. So the first time she woke I would do in and do the regular feed, second time I went in without talking, gave a really brief cuddle then tucked her back in, and third time was another feed again. Even that was probably a bit soft but I found that she settled pretty quickly, which assured me that she really wasn't hungry at that middle wake-up time. Whenever you do go in, make sure you are the boringest mum in the world! They seem to go back to sleep a lot quicker. Good luck on this one! And keep a note of what works for when I get asking questions in 6mos' time  Oh and if your Doctor has just given him a check-over, now would be the best time to start.------------- |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 05 January 2007 at 3:00pm
|
Is Jake in his own room? it's just that for us, both boys miraculously started sleeping all night when we moved them into their own rooms - coincidenatlly at six months. We think we must have eben waking him up with hubby's snoring or something.
we let jake cry it out occassionally. I really suggest having a long shower or doing something that means you can't hear him. Of course you want to make sure he's okay, but often they will go to sleep, but listening to them cry is really rough on us!! I only let it go to one hour though, usually both boys were asleep way before then. |
Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 05 January 2007 at 4:13pm
|
I have been trying to take a self imposed "break" from the internet, but so far it's not working ! Anyway, Erin has been having somewhat disrupted sleep lately, and I'm putting it down to teething... when I go in, IF I go in - I never pick her up unless she's reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally screaming, and then it's only to check her nappy. This doesn't happen very often, so usually it's going in after ten minutes, giving her Bunny, a pat on the tummy and head, switching her music back on, tucking her back in and leaving. I'm hoping it stops altogether soon though, because Liz iz right - it's really rough on us mums & dads. I especially hate it since I know she's so much chirpier when she gets a good long sleep, or if I know it's her teeth etc. ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater 
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 05 January 2007 at 6:25pm
|
I have always let Ella cry herself to sleep and shes at the point now where she will cry and if after 5 mins im not there she will fall asleep knowing shes not getting out of it.
I have always been really hard on her like that! I found it really hard at the beginning but its all good now. |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 05 January 2007 at 7:35pm
I hated the crying to sleep for any baby younger than about 4mos... I don't think Hannah ever was left like that but she was quite a placid little bub. On the other hand, Briona had silent reflux and sometimes we had no choice but to let her cry (scream) to sleep - holding her made no difference  But I'm never really comfortable with controlled crying until they've passed the "newborn" stage.------------- |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 05 January 2007 at 7:54pm
|
I realised it was time to let Hannah cry herself to sleep when me going in there and comforting just prolonged the whole event (3 hours!). When I just left her to get on with it, she was asleep so much quicker (within 20 mins). Now I put her to bed and if she isnt tired she just lies there singing and goes to sleep when shes ready (sometimes an hour later I can still hear her chatting!). ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 05 January 2007 at 9:52pm
| Jack was kind of like Jake would wake so many times for no reason I would go in put his dummy in and leave he would go through cycles have a week of 10 times a night and then a week of once a night. When i got preg this time I would get so angry at his crying I would have to take ten minutes out to calm down befor he would go to sleep and what do you know within a wee he was sleeping through. The no cry sleep solution is a great book tho I reccomend it if you don't want to leave Jake to cry. |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 05 January 2007 at 10:58pm
| I don't know when I started CIO... I never really did it when Hannah was younger. I rationalised it out that she was always crying because of something phsyiological... it was only once it was crying because she wanted to get out of bed, or over tired crying, that I started leaving her. And yeah, generally within 10 minutes she'd give up. (After I stopped going in) |
Posted By: kezplanet
Date Posted: 06 January 2007 at 12:50am
|
Oooohh I can remember having nights like that .... and it seems like it will never end!! Try this website, hope it is helpful for you, good luck
http://www.thesleepstore.co.nz - www.thesleepstore.co.nz ------------- Kerryn, Mum to Ashlyn(29/3/04), Anastasia(1/11/05) & Abigail (24/02/09) |
Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 06 January 2007 at 7:45am
|
Well, last night CIO kinda worked - Erin squawked about 10pm for five minutes, and then went back to sleep. It was when she woke again at just before 5am that she didn't stop, and all I had to do was change her nappy fortunately. So, all in all not too bad a night ! ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: CuriousG
Date Posted: 06 January 2007 at 12:18pm
|
I haven't done the CIO at all - even though I have had many people tell me its what I should be doing, I just cant bring myself to let her cry and cry. On saying that, though, Charlotte *still* sleeps with us, but we are fine with it as she sleeps better and therefore, so do we.
We are moving into our new house next month and have decided to put her into her own bed then - a queen size one rather than her cot as she really doesn't like it and prefers to spread out. I am still not sure if I will let her do the CIO thing though. However, with the next baby, I won't have as much time to pander to them so they probably will have to have a bit of a cry. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 06 January 2007 at 4:38pm
| Georgia the no cry sleep solution also has heaps in it about cosleeping and how to wean them off it without leaving to cry or how to continue co sleeping when she is older if you want to go down that path |
Posted By: CuriousG
Date Posted: 06 January 2007 at 5:06pm
|
We have tried once already to wean her off but I was getting up six or seven times in the night. She really does love the big bed so we are gonna give that a go first to see if she will sleep better in one at our new place. Plus, she will be only next door, not across the house so I might feel better about it anyway. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
|