Passing things on to family?
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Forum Name: General Chat
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=5144
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Topic: Passing things on to family?
Posted By: caraMel
Subject: Passing things on to family?
Date Posted: 08 January 2007 at 5:57pm
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------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and: 
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Replies:
Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 08 January 2007 at 6:05pm
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Maybe she knows something that is top secret? Odd though but I would still sell it. My sisters and I have swapped things constantly over the years but thats because one of us has always been pregnant or just had a baby. Now that we wont be having any children for a while if at all Im going to sell things as we finish with them. My friend is borrowing our capsule and my SIL wants to borrow it but I want to sell it so that will be an interesting one when the time comes. I dont see why you should have to hold on to things just for the sake of passing them on, besides maybe the siblings will want to buy new stuff when they do decide to have kids.
I say sell it if thats what you want to do. You brought it so its your decision |
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 08 January 2007 at 6:23pm
| I'm of the opinion that if they paid for something then it's kind of fair enough that they may want it to stay in the family. However if you have paid for it all, its your choice, if you wanna sell it then sell it. |
Posted By: kezplanet
Date Posted: 08 January 2007 at 6:27pm
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Give her 1st option on buying what you are wanting to sell ... at your price. That way she can hold it, store it and decide who it goes to next! ------------- Kerryn, Mum to Ashlyn(29/3/04), Anastasia(1/11/05) & Abigail (24/02/09) |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 08 January 2007 at 6:58pm
It's frustrating coming up against family blueprints!  I would talk with the siblings, is there anything particular that you're planning on chucking out that they would be interested in and if so, negotiate a price on biggies (cot, monitors, etc) and just give whatever clothes. Do what you like with the other stuff, it really is none of MIL's business anyway. But the neat thing is that it's not hanging around at your place until someone gets preg.
I expect you'll find that the siblings are not interested with it at all, then you can go ahead with your plans and it doesn't matter what MIL says because you asked around and they all declined. Just my 2c worth  -------------  |
Posted By: miss
Date Posted: 08 January 2007 at 7:28pm
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I agree - ask if they want it and tell them you intend to sell it if they aren't wanting it. For big items you purchased you could offer it at a price. My sister got rid of a heap of stuff when she had her second 3 years ago and I would not have considered for a second asking for it then as we knew ttc was a wee way away yet! -------------  
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 08 January 2007 at 8:19pm
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If she gave you a funny look then maybe she knows something you don't know. But if you guys got and paid for everything yourselves then do as you please with it. It is hard having that "other" family that do things differently to the way you were brought up. I have this and that DH's family talk about money like its everyones business but in my family it is not discussed I find that really hard to adjust to. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 08 January 2007 at 9:02pm
| Im mainly with stacey on this one....!!! |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 08 January 2007 at 9:47pm
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I think with the popularity of trademe, it is ridiculous to expect family members to hang on to stuff to hand down to you.
I heard my cousin had got rid of all her stuff and was a bit peeved (thinking that she's sold off stuff that was handed down through the family) but turns out she hadn't at all. (Silly me) So I think it is fair enough to sell off stuff that is yours! (Along the lines of Stacey's post  )
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Posted By: Jennz
Date Posted: 08 January 2007 at 11:36pm
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To be honest SIL kept heaps of stuff (but only for 5 months as thats the gap between our children) to pass on to us and I don't think I used a single thing. It was all used and I wanted new things! With the exception of a family heirloom crib that we used from my side of the family.
I think maybe if you have something really special- like if you forked out for an expensive crib that you yourselves would like to keep for your children to use etc then hold on to it and maybe they could borrow it, apart from that then sell sell sell. Seems silly to hold on to stuff for years for people who may not even want it! ------------- Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3 
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 09 January 2007 at 7:13am
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My SIL said to me
"cool, I'm having a boy so will use all your stuff" this I didn't actually have a problem with as we are planning on having one more baby once Jake is 4 or 5. She lives in Aus so of course most of the big stuff she can't borrow. With my stuff, I'm selling a lot of my basic baby clothes - the stuff that is okay looking, but nothing too special. And I'm keeping the smaller things that I adore - especially all the newborn clothes. Amazing to look back and see how tiny they were! If you Do pass them on, make sure everyone is clear that they will come back to you when the in-laws don't need them anymore. i would do as above - pass on somew things and negotiate a price for tohers. My step-sister was selling a lot of her baby stuff so I (read: my dad) bought a lot of it. No problems! Funnily enough a lot of the clothes she was selling was stuff I'd given her! I didn't see a problem with that though! |
Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 09 January 2007 at 11:04am
hmm....you could give smaller stuff to them and tell them to store it (only if you want to give them stuff for free)...and tell them that you wanna sell the big stuff so that you can buy other things for your children...they can have them for $$ amount. If they are keen then they will take them or you can sell them. At least they had the option. But no I dont see why you should store the item for them.
 ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 09 January 2007 at 11:19am
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Meh... I rekon if you wanna sell it, sell it - it's your stuff! If you were worried that yourn MIL knows something you don't yet about baby plans, you could always keep if for a couple of months and see if any news arrives out of the woodwork, then announce that you're planning to sell it and see if anyone pipes up. At the end of the day it's your stuff, so you don't really need to be told how long to hang onto it! ------------- Andie |
Posted By: caraMel
Date Posted: 09 January 2007 at 11:59am
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------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and:
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Posted By: CuriousG
Date Posted: 09 January 2007 at 2:03pm
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I would sell it and perhaps offer to let them buy it if they are interested! Its so expensive having a baby that recooping some costs has to be a bonus. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 09 January 2007 at 8:13pm
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We were given some stuff by my Dad but it has been in the family for quite a while and have to pass it on to my kids. Other than that we bought all our own stuff.
We actually made it a point not to borrow when family offered stuff like cots to us so we dont have to get involved in family fights afterwards. I actually wont just give the stuff away not even to family. I will in my case keep it for the next one or the grandkids or sell it. In your case I would definately let the family know if you guys are interrested I am selling this ect. I might even sell it to them for less than what I would to someone else but I wont give it for free. They also need to go through the experience of budgeting to get all kinds of different baby stuff ect. Why make it so much easier on them than what it was on you? (and no I am not a selfish person just the older sibling and hubby is as well). |
Posted By: jaz
Date Posted: 10 January 2007 at 8:00am
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I would tell them you are planning to sell off your baby stuff while you can still get a good resale on it and ask if there is anything in particular they wish to buy or want you to hang on to for when they have their own. Just make is clear that you need to clear space and get some money for it to pay for other things. That way they will feel bad if they ask you to store everything for 10 years just in case. I suspect MIL knows something if she's indicated they may be needing it sooner than you think.
I wouldn't feel obliged to lend or give away your stuff if you've paid for it and finished your family. My SIL and I shared a lot because my daughter was born between their two. I found a lot of stuff I loaned to various people wasn't returned because I wasn't pregnant when they finished with it. Be wary that it may get passed around then onsold or passed on outside the family. Also it can get difficult if you are expected to buy or borrow from family. My Mum bought my SIL's 10 year old highchair for some ridiculous amount of money and I could have bought a nice new one for an extra $20. |