I hate having to punish my son :-(
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Topic: I hate having to punish my son :-(
Posted By: Leish
Subject: I hate having to punish my son :-(
Date Posted: 18 January 2007 at 9:05pm
Christoher (age 9) has had the best week behaviour wise. He has made a really big effort and has been a real pleasure - which is difficult for him during the holidays when he is missing his friends and the stimulation of school. Anyway - I have told him in the past that he isn't to touch the cleaning products AT ALL (after he got in to the exit mould) without one of us supervising and I went in to the bathroom after he brushed his teeth tonight and I could smell exit mould in there so I asked him if he had touched it and he said no. I asked him if he was lying and he said no - promised that he didn't touch it. I explained that I could smell exit mould in there and he still denied it. I said to him that I would be more angry with him for lying than if he admitted to touching it but he still denied it. The hubby had to come and threaten him before he admitted that he had been spraying it in there. We have been working on this lying thing for the last few months and we just don't seem to be getting anywhere. He only does it cos he thinks he is saving his butt from getting in trouble but he ends up getting punished even more for lying. I had a good cry about it cos I hate punishing him when he has been trying soooo hard but we can't just let the lying go. It's not fair sometimes. I don't think he realises that we actually hate having to do it. This is more a vent than anything. I feel better for getting it out. Hope you are all well and most of you don't have to worry about this for a few more years yet  ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Replies:
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 18 January 2007 at 9:16pm
Awwwww  I can't really say anything since my eldest is 3! but it sure sounds like your heart is in the right place.-------------  |
Posted By: EllenMumof2
Date Posted: 18 January 2007 at 9:42pm
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I so no how you feel my 5 year old can be so good and then do something so stupid i just don't understand why sometimes i so wish i knew what ws going on in his mind. just wanted to let you no your boys not the only one http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 19 January 2007 at 7:12am
| hmmm that sounds like my husband! Bit late to train him but i do hope you get it sorted with your son and dont have to play big bad mum for too long, its not nice aye. |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 19 January 2007 at 8:12am
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Aw Leish, your son does sound like he is growing into the most wonderful young man. And the effort you are making to work through the lovely 'lying stage' shows that he'll eventually emerge as a very honest kid!
As far as I know from my little brother, the next stage is taking what you say and then twisting it to get away with whatever they want. It's truly delightful 
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Posted By: Leish
Date Posted: 19 January 2007 at 8:19am
Thanks everyone  He is a great kid - and the next stage sounds like it will be even more fun Nikki - at least I have something to look forward to ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 19 January 2007 at 9:53am
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he he ...sounds like my husband too.....
Do you why he likes exit mould sooo much? ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Leish
Date Posted: 19 January 2007 at 12:36pm
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Its funny aye - I have no idea!! I think he's a bit fascinated that it smells like the pool or something. I decided that his punishment will be to clean the bathroom and toilet this weekend - he won't like it so much after that ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 19 January 2007 at 1:34pm
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Oh no and he is usually so good from sounds of it...
hmmmm get super nanny in ??? I dont know - all i can think of is that the holidays are too long for most kids and they do get bored...hence why americans have summer camp and they are stimulated and around their friends most of the summer....could you maybe set up some play dates or something for him or enrol him in a holiday programme etc for day time so he wont get bored?? as for exit mould...what an unusual obsession!!! 
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 19 January 2007 at 1:43pm
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Big hugs to you.! As a (step) parent to a 15 year old, I can safely say they don't get any less "economical" with the truth. They think they are saving their butts, and forget that we were kids once, too! I think the important thing is consistancy, I know punishing feels sooo mean, but you have to do it, or he will see a chink in the "armour". A great book we have read that helps alot is by Diane Levy, called "I love you, now go to your room" and has lots of great tips for kiwi parents of kids of all ages, even toddly ones.
Good luck! ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: AnnC
Date Posted: 19 January 2007 at 6:38pm
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I remember my son going thru a big lying stage and it was for the sillest things that we knew he was lying. I hate punishing my kids at all but i am doing them no favours by not doing it. Just remember this is something we parents have to do so that they grow up into responcible adults and know there is a ??(can't remember the word) for their actions. I always say to the kids I would not be doing a good job as a parent if I did not punish them - I am sure they think I hv a screw loose when I say it until they grow up and get it. ------------- Ann 
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10) |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 20 January 2007 at 3:09pm
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I was *almost* insulted today when stepson said he was glad I wasn't his real mum cos I am way to hard line.. until he said I should take that as a compliment! We (him, rod and I ) were having a discussion about how Rod is such a pushover with the kids and I am the "no!" guy. (jacob had stood in front of the freezer screaming "block" for an iceblock when we were on our way out, and I said no, and he screamed louder, and daddy gave in. Cardinal sin in my book, and Rod usually dosen't give in. I made a comment about how jake had learnt off his big brother that if he whinges for long enough his soft father would give in, but not tough as old boots me... Stepson had to agree that when I say no, 98% of the time I mean it, hence the glad you're not my mum call! lol! ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: Leish
Date Posted: 20 January 2007 at 9:22pm
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That is a compliment and I totally agree - you NEVER give in!! It's the absolute worst thing to do - I think the reason Christopher was scared to own up to touching the Exit Mould cos I have already told him off about it before. Steve and I have always been very hard line with him - no means no and when we threaten we always follow through. We have to otherwise we would have an absolute terror on our hands. The lying thing is just so hard. It's really funny too cos now I know how my mum always "knew" when I was lying to her!! LOL ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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