Depressing day
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=5401
Printed Date: 03 October 2025 at 11:19am
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Topic: Depressing day
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Subject: Depressing day
Date Posted: 25 January 2007 at 9:50pm
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I'm stoney heart the first usually... but I'm crying for the first time in ages. (So I've hidden in my room so flatties can't see and am whinging to you ladies instead!)
My friend had a brain tumour a couple of years ago (I think I've mentioned him before). They removed it, it grew back, then they removed it again and thankfully it didn't grow back (well, straight away). Since then he has given up uni, been travelling around the world, and has just come back to the Mount to live with his mum as he started throwing up and getting bad migraines when he was working in Melbourne. They found two tumours, one in the same place as the first and another on the side that is inoperable. So the docs removed as much of the first one as they could but couldn't touch the second. And now half his face is paralysed. His whole side was paralysed, but thankfully he can walk again. It's just not fair. Especially when I consider what else I've been sad about today... how sucky men are and how I'm never going to find one. It just seems so shallow compared to what he is going through and then I feel bad for thinking it in the first place. So yeah... just had to be depressed here because I can't anywhere else. 
I'm going home next weekend though and will go visit him with Hannah. 
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Replies:
Posted By: sparkle
Date Posted: 25 January 2007 at 10:01pm
Chin up love! Sounds as though you are a good friend to him, probably what he needs, and a visit will probably cheer you both up ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: caraMel
Date Posted: 25 January 2007 at 10:41pm
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Oh Nikki I'm so sorry for you and especially your friend.
One thing that always wakes me up when I'm feeling sorry for myself is reminding myself that there are plenty of people living through worse. Thats very real for you at the moment huh? Good on you for being such a supportive friend, I hope you're feeling a little brighter now and that you have a really special visit next weekend. ------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and: 
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Posted By: james
Date Posted: 25 January 2007 at 10:49pm
awww hun i agree with the outher ladys it sounds like you are a great friend the vist sounds like a great idae big hugs hunny i have a friend who is going for a ct scan on monday for a possable turmour soooo we can be there for each outher and men yes they sux i soo agree with you on that one ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: Kels
Date Posted: 25 January 2007 at 11:02pm
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Big hugs to you. Hope you feel better tomorrow. Great idea to visit your friend. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 26 January 2007 at 12:36am
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Hugs Nikki! Thinking of you, and you know where to find us if you need anything! -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: nictoddie
Date Posted: 26 January 2007 at 6:58am
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big hugs ------------- 
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 26 January 2007 at 8:52am
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Hey thanks everyone! Feel much better this morning. I just had to get it all out before I saw him ya know? Apparently they are all staying really positive... so I need to get back to being my optimistic self
Lu - I hope like heck your friend's scan brings up something that is easily dealt with.
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Posted By: lou
Date Posted: 26 January 2007 at 9:15am
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I have decided that life is so unfair !! The sooner we accept this and move on the easier life is. We just have to try and make the most for whatever life throws our way ------------- Mother to two beautiful children - Sophie age 6 and Ephraim age 4 |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 26 January 2007 at 9:22am
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Sorry - I'm back to post again... constantly lurking!
Just wanted to reply to you Lou and say that it is very true! And to be honest, this guy has lived his whole life as if there were no tomorrow. So in some weird sense, atleast it is ok that he has no regrets! |
Posted By: ginger
Date Posted: 26 January 2007 at 10:14am
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Hi Nikki ...I'm so sorry about your friend. It puts life into perspective when we hear of what really hard times some people are going through.
I hope you are ok, and I'm sure your friend wouldn't begrudge you your feelings, which are out of love for him. Take care. ------------- Cuinn Lachlan 23.1.09 - 22:00 Antonia Helene 4.8.11 - 09:41 |
Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 26 January 2007 at 11:04am
| big hugs! |
Posted By: miss
Date Posted: 26 January 2007 at 11:53am
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Hey Nikki, you are such a good friend to care so much, and it is his friends and family that will help him through whatever happens next. -------------  
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Posted By: Jay_R
Date Posted: 26 January 2007 at 12:58pm
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Hey Nikki, glad you are feeling happier chick The more I think about it, the more I realise that life can really be just a big old bunch of arse sometimes... And I agree Lou, it can be SO unfair. But you are a good friend, and he needs lots of love around him at this time - I'll be sending positive, tumour zapping vibes to him
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Posted By: james
Date Posted: 26 January 2007 at 1:27pm
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thanks nikki i hoping not too ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 26 January 2007 at 1:29pm
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What a great friend you are, Nikki! And if you need a break on your way there or back, feel free to stop in here! ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 26 January 2007 at 1:59pm
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Will do Becca About due for a visit!
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Posted By: nictoddie
Date Posted: 26 January 2007 at 3:19pm
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wow your such a great friend, we really do not know how short life is aye, a friend arrived at coffee group today and a friend of theirs passed away last night it was the mum and they have a 4.5 year old boy,so sad, hope you get to have some quality time with your friend. -------------
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 26 January 2007 at 5:21pm
I'm not sure where everyone is getting this idea that I am a great friend from! hehehehe  
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 27 January 2007 at 11:11am
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Never know what to say in situations like this, sorry, I am a baaaaaaaaad friend! and I think the others are just sayig you are a good friend cos they're too scared of you not too... ha ha  ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 27 January 2007 at 3:46pm
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I thought so Nah, the truth is I feel a bit of a crap friend. But then with him... there is no way in hell you can do anything more than just be there when he decides to show up! hehe He's the most random person I have ever met in my life... as in, actively tries to be as mysterious as possible. Strange man.
Anyway, I'm really looking forward to going back now. I've heard from a couple of people that I should get my ass up there sooner rather than later... so it sounds serious. But what I think they mean is go and see him while he isn't stuck in bed - and I think he has realised this too so is trying to catch up with a lot of people. Thanks for letting me talk about it here guys! I tried telling my sister and all she could do was compare Kas's facial paralysis to something her friend had a few years ago - which while both have similar symptoms - his was because they had to operate on his brain whereas her friend's paralysis was temporary. I was super moody
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Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 28 January 2007 at 12:25pm
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That sucks Nikki life isn't fair.
When I was up at the hospital waiting for ben to come out of surgery I saw a lady from my antenatal group and her husband was getting chemo. When I got home I felt a bit like you so sad that bad things happen to the nicest people. |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 28 January 2007 at 2:50pm
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Hugs again Nikki! I can understand the whole hospital avoidance thing - not a big fan myself.
Is it just me or do sucky things happen to really nice people? ETA: I bet Hannah will help take his mind off things for a minute or two! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: AlyAyde
Date Posted: 29 January 2007 at 10:57am
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Sorry im late with those Nikki. ------------- Jayde 25/12/04 Alyssa 08/04/03 http://Alyayde.bebo.com |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 19 February 2007 at 9:09pm
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Right... just found out Kas died today.
When I got up there it was too late to go and see him as he had got so bad that he was pretty much confined to bed and seeing people took it out of him too much (he's not the type to lie still and let others do the talking!). So I took a lasagne to his family and had a good chat to them. But yeah... today he stopped fighting it. Which is good in many ways as he was in a whole lotta pain and was being "himself" less and less. Now his family can get on with their grieving and out of the waiting game. 
So yeah, am trying to figure out how the heck I am going to get back to Rotorua!! |
Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 19 February 2007 at 9:58pm
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oh sorry to hear he has gone, big hugs.
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 19 February 2007 at 10:06pm
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Big hugs, Nikki xx ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: meow
Date Posted: 19 February 2007 at 10:52pm
I'm so sorry to hear that Nikki  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 19 February 2007 at 11:33pm
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oh nikki!! i'm so sorry chick!!
brain tumours are nasty things, my uncle died from one. at least he is suffering no more and didn't 'drag' (sorry couldn't think of a better word) on for his sake and the families. thinking of you ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: kezplanet
Date Posted: 19 February 2007 at 11:40pm
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Shame you didn't get to see him, very sad situation. At least it didn't drag on for months on end and the family can deal with the next step in grieving. ------------- Kerryn, Mum to Ashlyn(29/3/04), Anastasia(1/11/05) & Abigail (24/02/09) |
Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 20 February 2007 at 7:23am
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HUGS Nikki....brain tumours are not pleasant, and a faster passing is often the kindest. My mum is a death and dying specialist - as morbid as that sounds, and Ive learnt from her ways of coping and understanding peoples passing...but it still doesnt make it easy.
Im sure he is somewhere that he no longer feels pain. |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 20 February 2007 at 8:04am
| big hugs Nikki. It can be really tough with those kinda things and especially when he was so young. hugs for you and Hannah and remember you can always get over here if you need a BREAK. |
Posted By: ellabellame
Date Posted: 20 February 2007 at 8:43am
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huge hugs nikki. it must be really hard, for you and for his family. ------------- |
Posted By: caraMel
Date Posted: 20 February 2007 at 9:13am
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I'm so sorry Nikki, big from me too. ------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and:
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Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 20 February 2007 at 9:28am
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Oh Nikki, I am so sorry to hear that. Big hugs to you guys. ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: AlyAyde
Date Posted: 20 February 2007 at 9:30am
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Im so so sorry that some miracle didnt happen for your friend Hope you get back to Rotorua. ------------- Jayde 25/12/04 Alyssa 08/04/03 http://Alyayde.bebo.com |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 20 February 2007 at 9:31am
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Thanks lovelies
Getting a flight back up on Wednesday. I hope my other friends are ok
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Posted By: Leish
Date Posted: 20 February 2007 at 11:26am
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Big hugs Nikki ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: ginger
Date Posted: 20 February 2007 at 11:54am
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Oh, Nikki ...I am so, *so* sorry
I always wish that there was something more that could be said...but there never is ...just know that our thoughts are with you, and we all hope you're ok. ------------- Cuinn Lachlan 23.1.09 - 22:00 Antonia Helene 4.8.11 - 09:41 |
Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 20 February 2007 at 2:30pm
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Sorry to hear about this, Nikki. Thinking of you. ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: Carmel
Date Posted: 20 February 2007 at 4:06pm
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sorry to hear that big hugs
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Posted By: james
Date Posted: 21 February 2007 at 1:48pm
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so srry to hear nikki bighugs ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: nuttymama
Date Posted: 21 February 2007 at 2:10pm
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So sorry to hear about your loss Nikki, he sounds like he was an awesome guy ------------- Abigail 06/01/2005 Jayden 21/11/2001 Micheal 03/04/1997 |
Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 21 February 2007 at 2:35pm
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I'm so sorry to hear about that, Nikki - what a mighty sad time for you. ------------- Andie |