Hi im a newbie. Having my first child..
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
Forum Description: Want help? Need support? Want tips? Men and women share advice and tips in this supportive community
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=5557
Printed Date: 14 October 2025 at 3:48pm
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Hi im a newbie. Having my first child..
Posted By: MelanieAndBree
Subject: Hi im a newbie. Having my first child..
Date Posted: 05 February 2007 at 2:31pm
|
Im due in september and im pretty scared and excited. I cant wait for the sickness to go!
Been a pretty tough time since i found out about the baby, my so called boyfriend decided he doesnt want anything to do with us! So it'll be hard but i have my family and friends and im sure i will cope! At the moment i just need to think about keeping my baby and myself healthy and happy! Just wanted to say hello to everyone, i've read some posts and your all seem really lovely and helpful! I will definately be back here. |
Replies:
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 05 February 2007 at 2:44pm
|
hi mottskiez!
welcome to ohbaby and a big huge congrats on your pregnancy...i wish u a happy healthy 8 (?) months. And as far as the boyfriend thing goes ,often these things have a way of working themselves out in their own time so u just concentrate on YOU, ok? 
|
Posted By: MelanieAndBree
Date Posted: 05 February 2007 at 3:01pm
|
Thanks alot. I appreciate it.
All ive heard from him and his parents is bad things and them wanting me to get rid of it. My family have been awesome though they are sticking by me. Im only 20 so yeah. I am trying to think positive
cant wait for bubba to come along anyways! |
Posted By: ellabellame
Date Posted: 05 February 2007 at 3:03pm
|
hi there mottskiez, welcome! congratulations on your pregnancy. i hope the morning sickness disappears soon so you can really enjoy the rest of the pregnancy.
sorry to hear about your boyfriend, i'm sure you'll do really well no matter what happens though. ------------- |
Posted By: ellabellame
Date Posted: 05 February 2007 at 3:05pm
|
just read your reply post and thought i'd add, i'm 20 too so i know how scary it is when you fall pregnant unexpectedly at a young age. where abouts in nz do you live? ------------- |
Posted By: Gracielou
Date Posted: 05 February 2007 at 3:06pm
|
Welcome mottskiez to ohbaby, and congrats on your pregnancy.
As far as your boyfriend and his parents go, its their loss! Good to hear that your family is really supportive, and now you have all of us here on ohbaby. ------------- 
|
Posted By: Deez
Date Posted: 05 February 2007 at 3:07pm
|
Welcome to OhBaby! and congrasts on your pregnancy -------------  
Lycan and Peyton = Moon and back!! |
Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 05 February 2007 at 3:10pm
Welcome to ohbaby you will find all the support you need on here 
Sorry to hear about your bf but the good news is that you have ur family on ur side
|
Posted By: MelanieAndBree
Date Posted: 05 February 2007 at 3:15pm
|
Thanks all. Its good to have people to talk to when you need it!
And ellabellame im in Hamilton. Im staying with my sister in law till i find a place with my sister. Hoping its in the next couple weeks. |
Posted By: AnnC
Date Posted: 05 February 2007 at 3:18pm
welcome to ohbaby. although not 20 anymore i have been 20 pregnant and not with the father so i know what you are going thru, and can voucher its not the end only the beginning , like you i have a very supporrtive family. And now my 'mistake' Josh is 13 off to high school and a really amazing lovely child. stuff the bf hes the ine who will miss out. ------------- Ann 
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10) |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 05 February 2007 at 3:42pm
|
im 25 now and was 20 when i was pregnant, her dad and i broke up when i was 7 weeks after only a 2month relationship (ooops!) but we remained friends so i was very lucky in that case.
But ur story is very similar to my friends, she was 19 when she was pregnant and her boyfriend of 3 years was really adament in that he didnt want the baby, as was her mum and her boyfriends parents, they would say she was doing it to trap him etc etc etc that she should "get rid of it " that it was gonna ruin his life etc etc etc, in fact i was the only one who supported her hence me being her birth partner and bubs godmother, anyway after bubs was born dad came over looked at her and said he didnt feel anything for her, but then a week later he was over everytime i rang and now he adores her (tho imo he still doesnt do enough to help my mate out but thats her lesson to learn) his parents love her and my mates own parents adore her, she is very spoilt (too spoilt really but again their lesson to learn ) thing is, altho there are people out there who do, generally its very hard to look at a new baby and hate it, im sure they will be changing their tune once bubs is here. also sometimes these things happen to show us who IS there when we need them.. and if the bf doesnt come round-it really is his loss |
Posted By: MelanieAndBree
Date Posted: 05 February 2007 at 3:59pm
|
Yeah, i agree.
I think his parents thought i was having the baby to keep him. Cause apparently our relationship was generally ending anyway (which was news to me, this came from his stepdad). His stepdad was telling me that apparently MY boyfriend was going to break up with me months ago. Which wasnt even true anyway lol. They actually told me that if i keep this baby, then they will try to get custody of him/her. I was flabbergasted (love that word lol). I had no idea what to say and after that day i havnt spoken to them because im afraid of what i will say to them not that they dont deserve it cause they were absolutely horrible to me. I dont think i want people like that around my baby anyway, so i figured if they come crawling i get a sincere apology or they can rack off. May not be the best way to deal with it, but i dont react well to being treated like a peice of dirt ya know. As for the bf (or ex i should say)if he comes around to the idea of being a father. Good! If not, like you have all said, its his loss! Ahh venting, its a lovely thing. lol.
|
Posted By: mamanee
Date Posted: 05 February 2007 at 4:03pm
|
Welcome!
I am only 22 and pregnant with my first child. (Due in May) I am moving back to Hamilton in a few weeks, so if you ever need someone to chat to or go for a walk with or anything, I have SOOOOOOOO much spare time at the moment.. :D When I first got pregnant my partner took it horribly. We have only been together for a year, so when I got pregnant we had only been together for just over six months. We had been having huge problems and in his shock, he told me he was going to move to the south island and have nothing to do with us ever again because he never wanted kids. He calmed down and is now very excited. I made it very clear to him that I would not beg him to stay, and that his choice was his own, but he needed to think about his family and what it would do to them as well as what it would do to me. Anyway, I'm rambling on. Hope you're feeling better soon and that things start to work out for you. Send me a message if you'd like to chat. I'm in Hamilton staying with my mum and waiting to get my tooth pulled. 
|
Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 05 February 2007 at 4:19pm
|
welcome to Oh baby...youll find heaps of support on here...
I am soo sick of hearing these men and their families do the "we'll go you for custody" claim...If you need to know what your rights and what possible legal claims tehy could have feel free to PM me....I deal with sooo many young mums who are scared by such threats each day...please dont be worried about it.... |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 05 February 2007 at 4:33pm
|
yeah my mate had that from her ex bf and his parents, it seems to be a very common threat, but on what grounds should they get custody?p*sses me off cos we all know children shouldnt be used as a way to get revenge and hurt people but so often they are.
and fair enough mottskiez i would be expecting one hell of an apology too! and if not he can crawl back under his little rock till he grows up cool i hope u and eomachine are able to meet up, that would be good for u guys and eomachine, im very sorry to hear ur having ur tooth pulled out
|
Posted By: ooEvaoo
Date Posted: 05 February 2007 at 5:26pm
|
CONGRATULATIONS!!!
I'm 22 and just had my baby boy in December, I was 21 whilst preggers. It's great that you have to support of your family, thats all that you and bubz need...who cares about the father or his family, like everyone said it's their loss....and as for their threats prfffffff, don't let them stress you, enjoy your pregnancy...it does get better once you get passed the 1st trimester niggles lolz...I miss being pregnant!. I live in Hamilton so if you ever need a friend or someone to talk to then give me a buzza !! Take care ------------- 
|
Posted By: MelanieAndBree
Date Posted: 05 February 2007 at 5:44pm
|
I've said it so many times but thanks for the advice. Everyone. Its been very helpful.
And ill be sure to give you guys (eomachine and Eva) a msg. I dont really know many people in hams so that would be cool. Been trying to keep myself busy. Im looking after my sister in laws house as her, my neice and brother have gone to Thailand for a month (jealous!). ------------- Melanie. Mum to Briahna Robyn, 3yrs |
Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 06 February 2007 at 9:40am
Chicka ur a strong one thats for sure at least you are keeping your head high and thinking of your child Men are overrated and useful for only a few things hehehe 
Glad you have found some girls off here you can meet up with
|
Posted By: MelanieAndBree
Date Posted: 06 February 2007 at 2:29pm
|
Thanks
The ex actually came round lastnight.. i had a weak moment. We somehow got onto the topic of the baby and he told me that basically its not his kid. It may be biologically, but hes not having any of the responsibility so it isnt his. It really hurt. How can a person i thought was decent and nice turn out to be so horrible? How can you just pretend your own child doesnt exist? i get so mad and upset i just wanna punch him in the face lol. ------------- Melanie. Mum to Briahna Robyn, 3yrs |
Posted By: lil_miss
Date Posted: 06 February 2007 at 2:51pm
|
Sounds like you're better off without him girl... :)
I would have thought that if you didnt name him as the father on the birth certificate he wouldnt be entitled to anything such as custody etc. I hope for your sake him and his family stay out of it.. :) Best of luck |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 06 February 2007 at 11:51pm
|
im sure there just all talk and u wont have to worry much about them and there little custody threats, but look into the birth certificate thing in case.
How can he do that? 2 reasons 1, because sum guys are w*nkers and 2) because some guys are incapable of making the connection between a nice new little bubba and a bump in your stomach, like to you it seems more real and important cos u can feel it more, its affecting u more than him at the moment. But as some one else said, sounds liek ur better off without him if thats gonna be his attitude... |