My beautiful friend & her beautiful baby
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=5577
Printed Date: 09 April 2026 at 10:00am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: My beautiful friend & her beautiful baby
Posted By: Peace
Subject: My beautiful friend & her beautiful baby
Date Posted: 06 February 2007 at 9:35pm
|
I sit on another forum where I have made friendships with girls in my area. This next bit of writing is about my lovely friend Fleur who gave birth to her son today at 17 weeks 4 days gestation. She has been in hospital for the last 3 weeks trying to get a cervical stitch to hold her pregnancy together, she nearly lost her pregnancy due to the stitch being too loose and her waters did break yesterday but she didn't go in to labour. She was given the Ok to keep the stitch in and see how everything progressed, today was her birthday.
At 3.06pm this afternoon, after kissing my Hubby and daughter goodbye, I walked into the Maternity Ward with a laptop and a birthday pressie of DVD's for Fleur to watch tonight. I approached her room to hear snuffling, the curtain was closed which was usual (I don't think Fleur likes people looking in her room, not that I blame her those pregger chicks in labour are perves ). I knocked and was about to go in but was stopped in my tracks by an aussie accent which called "Who is that?" I waited and replied "It's Sara" and the accent said back "Can you go wait in the lounge please?" "Ok then" I felt my stomach drop, this can't be good. No wait it is probably some sort of an internal, yeah don't be silly Sara. I went into the lounge and dropped my bags, as I turned around I saw Mark, come charging down the corridor. Four metres away and I noticed he had red eyes. "Fleur just delivered the baby" he said and broke down, I gave him a hug and felt myself go numb with shock again, Oh God, please make this a mistake. I promise I will go to church and do F*CK'n anything - make him say he is joking. But Mark was melting. I can't remember the words of sympathy that came out of my mouth, if I try to remember all I can think of was a pathetic "It's just not fair, you just don't deserve this". After a few minutes Mark momentarily composed himself then disappeared back to see Fleur. I sat down to gather my thoughts all I could think about was "What the hell?" and nothing else. I looked up again and Mark was coming down the corridor with a bundle in his arms. He came and sat down beside me. His tiny newborn son in a small folded up piece of linen. He was perfect. I have seen photo's of babies including Camden who were at a similar gestational age but nothing prepares you for the site of a child, that is the size of a candy bar. His translucent skin was filled with tiny veins and he was formed perfectly, all little fingers, toes and extras accounted for and he looked like he was asleep in Marks arms. Mark had to go back and see Fleur so he handed over his child to me. I was in awe. He was so beautiful and he was the spitting image of his older brother and father. The aussie accent arrived in the lounge - a hospital midwife. We sat there and stared at him together not saying anything, just looking. Mark came back to the lounge and said that Fleur was happy to see me now. I must say at this point I was ready to be given my marching orders. I mean, who wants some crazy tart from the internet around you when you are having such an emotional trauma. But in I went and straight to Fleur with her 2nd born, I rested him on the bed and hugged her. The numbness that had been keeping my tears and emotions at bay and my "WHAT THE!?" up front suddenly dissolved and I burst into tears as I gave her a hug. "I'm so sorry" I cried (yes, very Mills and Boon). We sat there chatting for a bit about everything, her newborns name Keegan Leslie. When and how they chose it. It seems more like a jumble of words now, what we all talked about I mean. Fleur being optimistic about their child bearing future and dashing away tears for their newborn, both of them building the courage then ringing family and friends. The aussie accent came back and weighed Keegan, took some prints of those perfect feet and hands then dressed him in a SANDS outfit, he was even too small for the smallest gown. Mark gave me a camera and I took photo's for them. They eventually whipped Fleur up to theatre to get her all back in once piece (so to speak). I hung out with Mark till I had to go home myself, my own family was waiting at home for me, I didn't want to leave though. On the way back down to Fleurs room where I had left all my stuff I found a small carnation, I took it with me and put it in with Keegan on his blankets. He still looked like a little doll, so perfect. I murmured as much to him then said my goodbyes as I went to meet Hubby. I got in the car and we went home, I tried to make some sembiance of conversation to Hubby but nothing more than short sentences like "They didn't deserve this" and "He was so tiny" came out. I hugged Olivia close when we got home. It is strange but I feel I have no right to love my child and hold it close when people as lovely as Fleur and Mark can't do that with their own children. Mark and Fleur are such special people, I know I have reiterated this in a million of my posts but they are. I have never known such courage and love, knowing them and their children will be a highlight of my life for years to come. ------------- DD1 May 2006 DD2 March 2011 DD3 August 2012 |
Replies:
Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 06 February 2007 at 9:40pm
| Oh thats so sad. Im in tears reading it cos it brings back memories. My best friend gave birth at 19 weeks so know how hard it can be from this side of things, cant imagine how hard it must be for them and really hope i never have to. Big hugs to you and your friends. |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 06 February 2007 at 9:42pm
|
I need to process this before I can reply with the dignity and respect that it deserves. My mind is literally overwhelmed. Hugs Sara, am thinking of you and Fleur and Mark and baby Keegan.
I do understand the feeling of wanting to hold your own babe so tight - when my friend lost her little man to SIDS last year I slept with Maya for days for fear of letting her out of my sight. -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 06 February 2007 at 9:46pm
I am speechless. What a rough day for you honey, and most of all for your friends ! Big hugs and (for what they are worth) my prayers for them all, including wee Keegan.  ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater 
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: 11111
Date Posted: 06 February 2007 at 9:53pm
|
Oh wow that certainlly bing's life in to prospective. Hug's. I am totally Speechless as well.
------------- Deborah Mum to:   
|
Posted By: pepsi
Date Posted: 06 February 2007 at 9:54pm
|
That is so terribly sad...I don't even know what else to say
|
Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 06 February 2007 at 10:01pm
|
Oh what a terrible loss....but you desribed him so beautifully and I know you will be a wonderful support to her from here on in....
last week I heard from MIL about a west auckland woman who lost her life...they turned off her life support and as she was only 19 weeks they would not save her unborn child...my heart damn near broke for the husband who lost his wife and his baby in one day... such stories of these angels are so precious....they will all be remembered in special ways.... |
Posted By: meow
Date Posted: 06 February 2007 at 10:20pm
|
I'm so sorry. It must have been a very difficult thing for you to experince too, and although it's not the same thing, I was with my friend when they turned the life support off on her brother. It was so hard.
You friend will have appreciated you being there so much, it was meant to be that you turned up that day. **********big hugs********** to all of you. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: Kels
Date Posted: 06 February 2007 at 10:20pm
|
speechless, what an overwhelming sad story, yet the love for their son comes thru, May he rest in peace. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs |
Posted By: caraMel
Date Posted: 06 February 2007 at 10:40pm
|
Oh God that is so terribly sad. I'm so sorry for you all.
Your friends and wee Keegan are in my prayers. xxx ------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and: 
|
Posted By: AnnC
Date Posted: 06 February 2007 at 10:51pm
|
Sara if I was there I would give you a huge hug.
------------- Ann 
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10) |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 07 February 2007 at 12:04am
|
what a wonderful friend u are,and what a beautiful family they sound.
You described Keegan so beautifully,may he rest in peace and may your friends find comfort in each other and in the love of their friends and family. Thankyou for sharing ur story sara, it was a priviledge to read it and an honour to hear of keegan and ur friends |
Posted By: Kazzle
Date Posted: 07 February 2007 at 7:50am
|
Oh my god, i have tears streaming down my face reading this...thank you for sharing this with us, and may their little angel watch over them for years to come. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: Redbedrock
Date Posted: 07 February 2007 at 8:01am
|
Can't say anything
Take care and lots of love ------------- http://www.babysfirstsite.com"> 
|
Posted By: Carmel
Date Posted: 07 February 2007 at 8:35am
|
Hugs for you and your friends sara
|
Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 07 February 2007 at 9:09am
|
I dont know what to say...Im so incredibly sorry noone deserves to go through that! I have tears in my eyes!
|
Posted By: AnnC
Date Posted: 07 February 2007 at 9:34am
|
How are you today Sara? ------------- Ann
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10) |
Posted By: LockieandLiam
Date Posted: 07 February 2007 at 9:43am
|
Hugs to you and your friends Sara. You really brought it to life, your description. I'm surprised I got to the end with the amount of tears streaming down my face.
Thinking of you and your friends. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: Leish
Date Posted: 07 February 2007 at 9:54am
|
------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
|
Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 07 February 2007 at 10:04am
|
...crap! you made me cry at work!!
Big hugs to you and your friend!! I pray that no one ever has to go thru that ....ever!!! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: Peace
Date Posted: 07 February 2007 at 10:44am
|
I did forget to leave a big chunk of Fleur and Mark's story out.
This is Fleur's second loss of a child at a similar age. Her first son Camden was born last year in July at 20w1d. This is how they discovered she had an incompetant cervix. It should have been picked up at the anatomy scan but the sonographer didn't look properly. Camden was a natural conception as Fleur had just come off fertility drugs for IVF, Keegan was an IVF baby. This is her husbands third loss as he had a baby in a previous relationship but there was some serious problem with the child at the anatomy scan and they chose to terminate the pregnancy. Today I have chatted with my friend, my lovely, lovely friend via txt. She is looking forward to having some ham rolls and perked coffee for lunch. I can't imagine how she must feel today, waking up recalling the horrors of the day before and having to go home childless. I myself, even though I feel raw and emotional today know that in my wildest dreams, everything I bore witness to is a meagre last place to how Fleur and Mark are. Thanks for your well wishes, time to go have another hug with my precious daughter. ------------- DD1 May 2006 DD2 March 2011 DD3 August 2012 |
Posted By: Two Blondinis
Date Posted: 07 February 2007 at 10:45am
|
I'm blubbing at work too!
Sara please send our best wishes to your friend and also to you ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
 
|
Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 07 February 2007 at 10:59am
|
Oh Sara, that's all so heartbreaking. I agree that you were meant to go there that day. I don't have the words to convey my sympathies to Fleur and Mark because I can't imagine how painful it's been for them. But many hugs and prayers go out to them both, and to you. And you described their baby so beautifully - he sounds like an angel. ------------- Andie |
Posted By: nuttymama
Date Posted: 07 February 2007 at 11:00am
|
My heart goes out to you and your friends. Life seems so unfair when a family should have to go through so much sorrow and pain. Thinking about you all. ------------- Abigail 06/01/2005 Jayden 21/11/2001 Micheal 03/04/1997 |
Posted By: ellabellame
Date Posted: 07 February 2007 at 11:08am
|
that's so incredibly sad! it just seems so unfair for a couple that have been through so much already to have to go through it all again. my heart just goes out to them.
you described keegan so perfectly, he sounds beautiful. ------------- |
Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 07 February 2007 at 11:15am
|
I'm so sorry for your friends big loss. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 07 February 2007 at 11:54am
|
I am so sad reading that. I know no words I can say will be able to make her feel better and dont really know what to say.
Just that I will sent up a prayer tonight for them. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: Lulu
Date Posted: 07 February 2007 at 12:03pm
|
Hi Peace, I have sent my love and hugs to Fleur and Mark on the everybody website, but I would like to express my thoughts here as well.
All my love to Fleur, Mark and baby Keeghan, words just cannot express the emotions I feel for them and the injustice that they are going through. I pray that they will have their happy ending one day. ------------- Lou http://www.babysfirstsite.com"> 
|
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 07 February 2007 at 12:12pm
|
OK, I'm back and my head has cleared a little. I had the privilege of briefly getting to know Fleur on the Lost Ones site (www.lostones.co.nz) where she shared the birth story of her precious wee Camden. So hearing that Fleur and Mark have experienced another shocking and tragic loss left me a bit lost for words (trust me, that doesn't happen very often!).
Sara, I am thinking of you as you try to make sense of this in your own head. And Fleur and Mark and their beautiful angel sons will be in my thoughts also over these next difficult few days and weeks for them. For what it's worth these two little men were and are loved too much for words by so many people, and I know that the rest of our Lost Ones family are thinking of them also. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 07 February 2007 at 2:34pm
|
Sara, that is so sad. My best friend had a still born daughter full term, and a mutual friend of ours who was due to have her baby this friday gave birth to a wee boy at 23 weeks who was also stillborn. It is so hard to know what to say in these situations, especially since she has suffered this loss once before already, and her partner twice before. Just be the best friend you can be (and you sound wonderful, by the way) and talk to her about her children, as lots of her friends won't. Big hugs to you all at this sad sad time. ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 07 February 2007 at 8:53pm
| i have read this a fe times now and gone to reply but haven't found words to express how sorry I am for your friends loss, and for you too Sara - as going through that with someone must be tough too. decided to just write and I know that you will read this, but hopefully you can read between the lines and see the heartfelt emotion.....enough babbling. |
Posted By: EllenMumof2
Date Posted: 07 February 2007 at 10:14pm
|
http://pregnancy.baby-gaga.com/">
 http://lilypie.com">
  http://lilypie.com">   |
Posted By: Lucy
Date Posted: 08 February 2007 at 3:33pm
|
All i can say is im so so sorry! I cant imagine a lost like this, and have two (and three) is just terrible. My thoughts go out to Fluer and Mark and you Sara ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
|
Posted By: AlyAyde
Date Posted: 12 February 2007 at 5:35pm
|
Im so so sorry to hear of your friends loss peace. Life is so unfair. ------------- Jayde 25/12/04 Alyssa 08/04/03 http://Alyayde.bebo.com |