SAHKs
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=5784
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Topic: SAHKs
Posted By: busymum
Subject: SAHKs
Date Posted: 19 February 2007 at 3:29pm
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Is there some prejudice out there towards SAH Kids or am I over-reacting? I intend to home-school my kids so I don't see much point in enrolling in kindy. But everywhere I go it seems that someone wants to know is, or when is, or where is Hannah going to kindy? I'm always at a bit of a loss what to say. Apart from the fact that I have a newborn and a toddler to handle as well (and Briona sleeps from 8.30 to 11am most days so it's hard to get out in the morning), but Hannah's all fine developmentally and I've taught her colours, shapes, numbers, letters, counting, and even some phoenics (sounds of letters). We're involved in a music group and play group anyway, and have a good selection of toys/activites at home... isn't that enough?
I think it just bugs me because it's strangers in the supermarket etc who ask me/Hannah, without knowing all that stuff and there's no short answer to get all that across to them  -------------  |
Replies:
Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 19 February 2007 at 4:00pm
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Ive never thought anything against people who dont send thier kids to kindy etc... personal choice really but, and this is only my opinion, I also think its good for children to learn to be away from parents and socialise without them there. For me this probably stems from my childhood where i was so attached to my mother i couldnt leave her to go and play at peoples houses and sleepovers were totally out of the question until i was at least 12ish and I dont want my kids growing up to be totally relient on me. I remember seeing an episode of trading spouses where the kids did absolutely everything with the parents, even slept in the same room with them and I just thought that was really sad for the kids.
But I certainly dont see anything wrong with home schooling, I would love to do it myself but dont have the skill or patience. I wouldnt be worried about the educational aspect of it but if she doesnt do anything away from you ie kindy or whatever when will she learn independence? |
Posted By: Kels
Date Posted: 19 February 2007 at 4:09pm
I think it's your choice and if thats what suits you so be it. Its sounds like your kids have all the learning tools they need at home, and will be able to get the social skills they need from the music group and play groups you attend. I say "go on you" it takes a hell of a lot of patients to home school  (not that Ive tried, but my friend does).------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 19 February 2007 at 5:00pm
| i think it's less of habving something "againest" it, and more just tyhe assumption because most kids do end up at some kinda preschool. Good on you for the homeschooling thing. I was looking at it when we were living in Japan and the resources are amazing - a lot of the stuff you can get is fantastic and well worth while - I would love to IF i had a lot more patience and inclination. |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 19 February 2007 at 5:37pm
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Robyn, she goes to Sunday School by herself and has stayed with friends a couple of times (although not overnight yet - TT first I think!). I do want to make sure she can have other people in her life that she can rely on if I'm not available, especially as she gets older, and once she's older (6?) I'm planning to get her involved in something like swimming/dancing/music... which will involve learning off another person than just me all the time as well.
Good point tho, and it's good to read what crosses people's minds because it's hard to stand back sometimes and think it through from different perspectives. ------------- |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 19 February 2007 at 6:09pm
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I agree with Liz that's it's probably not a deliberate dig, more just a question coz that's what *most* kids do. I know that I often asked kids "so do you go to kindy" as a way of starting a conversation with them, coz most will say yes and then I can ask what they do there etc.
------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 19 February 2007 at 9:09pm
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Teresa I know that here in Palmy there has been a big thing about home schooling in the Tribune (the Sunday free paper). Some guy is doing a column every second week (he did it last week, I think his name is Steve Elders) and so in that paper there is heaps about kids being at home and people "thinking" that they don't develop social skills. For some children this does happen, but as you said she goes out to music and goes to other peoples places so i'm sure she does have social skills. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 19 February 2007 at 9:55pm
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Just wanted to point out that I didnt mean she wouldnt learn social skills or anything, I just mean time away from parents, well mums especially.
And Busymum thanks for not taking my post the wrong way. |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 19 February 2007 at 10:08pm
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Robyn. I got what you were saying and I've seen clingy kids like that too.
Becks yea I saw that article. Maybe I just need the guts to say "nah we're gonna home-school". Just seems weird to be saying that so early - she's only just turned 3 and school's not compulsory until 6! ------------- |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 19 February 2007 at 10:21pm
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older people esp will ask as a conversation starter. and even if you home school i dont see anything wrong with kindy - a lot of people think of it as a break, both for the kid and the parent...
and did you mean phonics...???? ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 19 February 2007 at 10:25pm
Quite a few of the nappy networkers are Homeschooling - maybe you should come over and join in the HomeEd threads? Sounds like they are all doing well and might have a few responses for questions like that 
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 19 February 2007 at 10:26pm
 yep lol
I don't really have a problem with kindy, but just don't feel it's necessary as school-entrance for a to-be home-schooler... but I'm getting that it's just a common expected for 3-4yo's, just like school is for 5yo's I guess (man why didn't I think of that earlier? )
I guess my biggest problem is feeling at such a loss to answer the kindy question, briefly, and on the spot. Time for some mirror practice maybe lol ------------- |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 19 February 2007 at 10:28pm
But Nikki if I join another forum I might never have time to home-school!  ------------- |
Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 19 February 2007 at 10:43pm
| Ive just been thinking about the kindy thing lately. Kobe is in preschool one day a week purely for the social aspect of it, he loves it and has good wee friends there but a couple of ladies from a playgroup we go to have just put thier kids in kindy. Id never really thought about changing kobe cos he loves his preschool. Is it an expected thing that kids go to kindy? I presume they dont have to go there? No one has ever asked me if he is going to go and I was kind of surprised its been an issue for you, as in, being asked about it a lot. Apart from the couple at playgroup I only know of another two kids who are in kindy. |
Posted By: rug_nz
Date Posted: 19 February 2007 at 11:43pm
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Hey busymum, just sticking in my suport for you. I know what its like to be doing something outside what is other peoples "norm".
Good on you for doing it. ------------- Look out! It's a man. SAHD 
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Posted By: kezplanet
Date Posted: 20 February 2007 at 12:03am
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Good job doing home schooling, I have threatened my DH about that. Maybe in a round-a-bout way they are paying you a compliment ..... Maybe people are suprised at what Hannah seems to know and maybe they are looking for a good kindy!! Lets put a positive light on the situation!! ------------- Kerryn, Mum to Ashlyn(29/3/04), Anastasia(1/11/05) & Abigail (24/02/09) |
Posted By: nuttymama
Date Posted: 20 February 2007 at 6:53am
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Sometimes I sincerely wish I had the patience to homeschool especially after some of the bullying micheal has put up with but I don't think I could handle it to be honest, so good for you it sounds like you have put a lot of thought into it.
My2angels both of my older kids went to kindy but we are not sure if we are sending Abby, like your wee one she goes to daycare for the social side of things and to be completely honest the preschool she is in is no different to the kindy my boys went to. The biggest issue I think is for some people it is cheaper and their kids go for a longer period of time. Also due to the free 20 hours coming in A lot of Kindys are going to be changing and from what we could gather at our last committee meeting are going to be more or less preschool centres anyway with a change in hours so they can cash in on the 20 hours paid by the government! ------------- Abigail 06/01/2005 Jayden 21/11/2001 Micheal 03/04/1997 |
Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 20 February 2007 at 7:20am
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I am one of those people who would assume a child is going to kindy....its an assumption just like assuming a 5 year old is off to school soon...and i wouldnt be offended if someone replied that the child was being home schooled...put us right!
As for home schooling - OMG good on you...You are def goign to be busy with those three....I totally admire you for doing it...me = well im sending mine off to a school each day, i have neither the patience or inclination to home school....but fully admire those that can. |
Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 20 February 2007 at 7:55am
I was going to suggest exactly the same thing!!  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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nikkiwhyte wrote:Posted By: 11111
Date Posted: 20 February 2007 at 8:01am
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I think you need to just be straight up with people. Or teach Hannah what to say in response she is a pretty bright girl. My brain is not working at this time of the morning ,but if you get people questioning further just come up with something smart to say to end the conversation. IF I think of something will let you know. I would love to home school, but Pete has said no so oh well school for my kid's.
Just don't let anyone judge you for your choice I think it is great and you will do a wonderful job. ------------- Deborah Mum to:   
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Posted By: miss
Date Posted: 20 February 2007 at 8:05am
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You could always say/get her to say - I already attend preschool educaton. Coz that is what your playgroup is! As is what you are doing with her as part of your homeschooling. -------------  
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Posted By: Sarah Beth
Date Posted: 20 February 2007 at 8:11am
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I have seen 2 sides to this, and I think the development of the child is basically dependent on the child you have!
the first one the children have thrived. The parents decided that they didn't like the way they school system worked and thought the children would do better if home schooled. They were socialised through other activities, sport/dance/brownies and the like. Teaching the children is a full time job for mum and she takes a lot of pride in the work she does with them The other is my niece and she doesn't have the social contact with other children which I think is the problem and she is quite shy. In addition to this, I think that the teaching is seen as more of a chore, and the mother (my SIL) doesn't have any ways of controling my niece so if she doesn't want to do maths, well she doesn't do it and my SIL sees no problem with this. For a short period of time she was in school (about 6 months), and over that time she was very unhappy and made no friends despite the teachers best efforts. Basically what I am saying is, stay dedicated to it and be strong in your decision. Make sure you follow the curriculum given to you and set up an area for teaching that is not for playing. Also (which it sounds like you are doing), have your children in a social activity. ------------- "> 
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 20 February 2007 at 11:08am
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On the Kindy thing - Andrew won't be going to kindy as he is in daycare, but he tells people he goes to preschool as he is in the preschool now. I have worked in Kindy's before I personally I didn't like it (but that is just me) so i'm not sending Andrew to one. And combined with the fact that I am going back to work later this year and will be putting Joshua into the same daycare that Andrew goes to now neither of them will be going to kindy. Yep, try the mirror thing and just tell them she doesn't go - its not compulsary for children to go to kindy so don't feel bad about it. I have to admire the fact that you are going to home school. I so don't have the patience to do that - yet i've started my teaching degree. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 20 February 2007 at 7:58pm
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Well Nikki I headed over to TNN tonight and whaddya know, the newest registered member is 'busymum' - so now I'm thinking I should have bet her to the name! Ah well, Teresa is a nice name ------------- |
Posted By: meow
Date Posted: 20 February 2007 at 8:16pm
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Good luck to you if you can do it! I sometimes wished I could be homeschooled as I hated school, but I think I would have driven my mum nuts being home each day!!
I know I couldn't do it as I need a break from my girl every now and then and there are some subjects I have absolutely no interest in (maths being one lol).------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 20 February 2007 at 8:44pm
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I never went to kindy as we lived in the country but we had a local playgroup for socialising. I had no problems adjusting to school in any way and always did well and had friends. Hannah will probably go to kindy but not decided yet. Good luck with it all. ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 20 February 2007 at 10:03pm
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http://www.thenappynetwork.org.nz/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=15887&start=15&postdays=0&postorder=asc&highlight= - This is the most recent thread about Home Ed-ing.
http://www.thenappynetwork.org.nz/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=15054&start=0 - Another http://www.thenappynetwork.org.nz/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=14587&start=0 - Again http://www.thenappynetwork.org.nz/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=14456&start=0 - The EXACT problem you are having! http://www.thenappynetwork.org.nz/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=14348&start=0&postdays=0&postorder=asc&highlight=school - Home Ed book recommendations There's a start for ya! (Can ya tell I'm bored?) |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 20 February 2007 at 10:04pm
| Oh yeah... and http://www.thenappynetwork.org.nz/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=3946&start=0&postdays=0&postorder=asc&highlight= - this is a thread which talks about school vs. other options |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 20 February 2007 at 10:53pm
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Oh thanks Nikki, I went on there tonight but got distracted on a number of other things lol! Actually there was a question on there (how long did you push) that I might copy over here.... I am thinking, no wonder my mw's say "just a couple more pushes" and yet it seems to take me forever! - some of those women don't know what pushing is ------------- |
Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 21 February 2007 at 3:35pm
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And in reply to your original question - YES, I'd say there is a prejudice against home-schooling. But that's just the way it is, because it's outside of the 'norm'. There's prejudice about pretty much everything outside the norm... religions, disability, red hair - all sorts of things both within our control and not. It's your choice and you're planning on doing what feels right for your family, so good on ya. I think lots of people use the 'when are you starting kindy/school' thing as a conversation starter with 3 and 4 year olds and their mums. And it won't seem rude to say 'she's not' - they just won't expect that answer! ------------- Andie |
Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 21 February 2007 at 3:39pm
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By the way... (yeah I'm still waiting for my daughter to wake up!!), I think it's the few socially challenged kids who are home schooled that spring to people's minds first when they hear 'home school'. I have to admit I've been guilty of that - probably because I've met some of the more extreme cases. People don't recall the socially well-developed kids who are home schooled because nothing about that sticks in your memory. And lets face it, there's plenty of "challenged" kids at kindy and school, too! Your girls are pretty sociable and from what I've seen they relate really well to other kids too - I think you're doing a great job, and you'll do an equally great job of schooling your family. ------------- Andie |
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 21 February 2007 at 5:55pm
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I'll be honest before I had Jack I thought every kid went to kindy and I have only ever known one home schooled kid who was in our class in 3rd and 4th form and was a bretheren (sp?) or something and was married not long after so it would just never even occur to me not to send my kids to kindy and school. So as others have said it might just be people don't know any different.
It sounds like you have the whole homeschool thing sorted anyway. |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 21 February 2007 at 8:23pm
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Teresa I also know in Palmy there are a few families that are home schooled (theses are big families children wise - you may know their name or not) that some of the children have had social issues and when people in Palmy hear homeschool they think of this family at first, which isn't the right thing to do but people do. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 21 February 2007 at 9:09pm
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That is exactly what happens here in Dannevirke Becks - anyone mention homeschooling and we all think of this one family. Sad, but in reality if these kids went to school they would have got picked on for being different anyway. ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 21 February 2007 at 10:33pm
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Unfortunately, as with any group, it's the radicals who stand out. Homeschoolers often also have big families (also what I'm wanting, so that's gonna stereo-type us already probably), are frugal, and some of them are really food-conscious as well (such as no sugar or anything else refined). There are so many homeschoolers out there now, so hopefully more of the "normal"-sounding ones will come to the surface and people won't think so badly of them as a group.
I know a family who had big difficulties, cypfs involved, divorce, all the rest... and then another family whose 20yo son is a real estate agent (sold our last house actually) and all the rest of their kids you can really see they have an awesome relationship with their parents, siblings, and other people in general. Hopefully we get something of what the second family did right ------------- |
Posted By: nictoddie
Date Posted: 22 February 2007 at 7:41am
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Good on you Teresa, well done for your decision, it is something like some of the others have said, I would not have the patience to do myself but i take my hat off to anyone who does this successfully, and I know the second family your talking about and they are an awesome family. ------------- 
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 22 February 2007 at 7:59am
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Oh yes, you do know them! ------------- |
Posted By: 11111
Date Posted: 22 February 2007 at 9:18am
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LOL I know them too. I really wanted to do the home schooling cause of yet another family that you guy's might know I lived with them. It was a great way of life, but hubby was home schooled and hated it so he will not back down on this one. ------------- Deborah Mum to:
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Posted By: nictoddie
Date Posted: 22 February 2007 at 9:19am
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Sometimes we have to listen to our hubbies -------------
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Posted By: 11111
Date Posted: 22 February 2007 at 9:38am
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Yep sometimes we do. ------------- Deborah Mum to:
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 22 February 2007 at 9:56am
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Ohhhh just a few times? ------------- |
Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 22 February 2007 at 10:33am
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Hey Nicola... I know that same family too! I wonder if we know each-other at all? I'm not close to them, but we go to the same church. And I agree Teresa, they're an awesome example of home-schooling working out really really well. I have a lot of respect for that mum, and the kids are great value. And I think I know of the other family referred to as well! Who would have thought this was such a small town, eh?! ------------- Andie |
Posted By: 11111
Date Posted: 22 February 2007 at 11:20am
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Andie I can tell you Nicola's Parent's use to be in the church year's and year's ago I remember her when I was a really little girl. Not sure if you will know who they are tho. Her Mum and Dad have been really awesome friend's to my Dad in recent time's ------------- Deborah Mum to:
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Posted By: Sarah Beth
Date Posted: 22 February 2007 at 5:16pm
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Actually I have just remembered, last year (maybe year before) after a night out hubby friend and I decided to go to Denny's for a bite to eat and they were only place open. The home school ball had been on and a lot of the kids had gone their afterwards. My friend decided to spend some time talking to them and they all really enjoyed being home schooled, and things like the ball gave them a chance to meet others, some of whom they already knew and socialised with. Basically what I am saying is a Denny's full of home school patrons did not feel they missed out on anything by being home schooled! ------------- ">
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Posted By: nictoddie
Date Posted: 23 February 2007 at 2:54pm
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awwww debz got warm fuzzy's they have been a real encouragement to your dad and he is doing great from what I have been hearing.
Andie you do know my parents I think everyone in Palmy does well in christian circles, Alex and Yvonne McDonald, and I have meet you a couple of times at the bensons. -------------
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Posted By: 11111
Date Posted: 23 February 2007 at 11:08pm
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LOL oh it is such a small world. Well at least palmy is such a small town( I knew there was a reason I moved) ------------- Deborah Mum to:
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