Being a Mum
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=5825
Printed Date: 08 October 2025 at 12:50pm
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Being a Mum
Posted By: Jennz
Subject: Being a Mum
Date Posted: 22 February 2007 at 1:33am
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Made me blub like a baby...
Being A Mum We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of a family. “We’re taking a survey,” she says half-joking. “Do you think I should have a baby? “It will change your life,” I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral. “I know,” she says, “no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations.” But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable. I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking, “What if that had been MY child?” That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her that when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die. I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of “Mum!” will cause her to drop a soufflé or her best crystal without a moment’s hesitation. I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby’s sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from runninghome , just to make sure her baby is all right. I want my daughter to know that everyday decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy’s desire to go to the men’s room rather than the women’s at McDonald’s will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom. However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother. Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself. That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give herself up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs. I want her to know that a caesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honour. My daughter’s relationship with her husband will change, and not in the way she thinks. I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving. I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts. My daughter’s quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. “You’ll never regret it,” I finally say. Then I reached across the table, squeezed my daughter’s hand and offered a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings. Please share this with a Mum that you know or all of your girlfriends who may someday be Mums. May you always have in your arms the one who is in your heart. ------------- Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3 
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Replies:
Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 22 February 2007 at 7:46am
oh yeah thanks for making this big fat preggy professional career driven 8 plus months preggy woman bawl....!!!!!
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Posted By: caraMel
Date Posted: 22 February 2007 at 8:19am
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OMG me too, Dammit!! ------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and: 
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Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 22 February 2007 at 9:38am
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Bugger ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater 
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: Kels
Date Posted: 22 February 2007 at 10:31am
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What else can I say!!!!! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs |
Posted By: Sarah Beth
Date Posted: 22 February 2007 at 11:04am
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I will join the club ------------- "> 
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Posted By: Deez
Date Posted: 22 February 2007 at 11:16am
 that was nice-------------  
Lycan and Peyton = Moon and back!! |
Posted By: Bubbaloo
Date Posted: 22 February 2007 at 11:45am
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I join the club too and a big hug to all the mums out there ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  Was danni-chick Mum to James My Angel 28/07/08 |
Posted By: Leish
Date Posted: 22 February 2007 at 1:28pm
hahahaha - i've read that before and bawled that time. I didn't read it this time Jennz so you didn't get me!!  ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 22 February 2007 at 8:59pm
Ha ha no tears here either -coz I've read it before and I'm not getting sucked in twice Will confess to goosebumps tho (or is that the aircon  -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 22 February 2007 at 9:05pm
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I'm with the last two as well - its really lovely but not something to read again!! ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: Leish
Date Posted: 23 February 2007 at 7:42am
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I read it the first time, unwittingly, at my desk at work and bawled for AGES!!!! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 23 February 2007 at 4:31pm
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It's beautiful. I'm copying it to send on. ------------- Andie |
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 23 February 2007 at 11:19pm
| Yeah its good if you like things like that get chicken soup for the mothers soul out of the library |
Posted By: ooEvaoo
Date Posted: 26 February 2007 at 5:07pm
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I loooooove reading the chick soup books!!!!!!!! and I looooove this story, its so true isn't it. Thanks so much for sharing it with us ------------- 
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 13 January 2010 at 1:48am
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I came across this
(because I searched specifically for it ) I think its so beautiful ------------- 
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Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 13 January 2010 at 7:19am
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Yep Ive read it before, but STILL read it again, I like to be reminded just how lucky I am to be a Mum.
On a side note - I havent "seen" you around lately Jennz! ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: FionaO
Date Posted: 13 January 2010 at 8:12am
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Ok, so I am at work, just got a few mins downtime so looked on and saw this and now I can't leave my office for tears streaming down my face!! So lovely ------------- 
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Posted By: Jaxnz1
Date Posted: 13 January 2010 at 8:49am
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tears here too.
Such a good description of motherhood. ------------- 
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Posted By: Joscia
Date Posted: 13 January 2010 at 10:34am
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Aw man! Virtually nothing like that makes me cry, but that one made me well up
Isn't it funny how the old cliches really are true - that pre-motherhood you could read that and think, 'ah, yeah, I get what that's about.' But it's not until you have a child that you actually, properly understand it... ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com"> 
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Posted By: EmDee
Date Posted: 13 January 2010 at 12:59pm
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I had to stop reading because I'm at work and I'm a big sook so would have been sobbing! From the first 2 paragraphs it sounds so true! Will finish reading when I get home so I can blub in private! ------------- DS 8 DD 6 DS 4 DD 2 |
Posted By: littleLittle
Date Posted: 13 January 2010 at 4:22pm
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Even though I know things like that are going to make me cry like a baby I still read it. Why do I do it to myself?!?! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: Hopes
Date Posted: 13 January 2010 at 4:57pm
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I think I'm dead on the inside Things like that never make me cry (even ones more applicable to me, since I'm not really a Mum yet, even thought I swear I love this Bub to death and beyond). -------------   
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Posted By: GuestGuest
Date Posted: 13 January 2010 at 5:01pm
| It didn't make me cry it actually made me laugh out loud because of how corny it is! (but then I'm not a mum). |
Posted By: freckle
Date Posted: 13 January 2010 at 5:58pm
Oh thank goodness it didn't make someone else cry either... I cry at lots of things and love my kids to death but didn't shed one tear...  ------------- mum to 3 lovely girls :D |
Posted By: pikelets
Date Posted: 13 January 2010 at 6:46pm
Ditto! So true and so lovely! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
3 Angels - Dec10 / Mar11 / Dec11
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Joscia wrote:Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 13 January 2010 at 8:01pm
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OMG, i read the first paragraph and totally related it to me, felt the tears well up - will come back for the rest when DH is at work ------------- http://lilypie.com] 
http://lilypie.com] 
http://lilypie.com] 
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Posted By: Bexee
Date Posted: 13 January 2010 at 8:05pm
| It's so true, especially about the whole husband thing. The way he reacts with our son just makes me fall in love with him over and over again and melts my heart. |
Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 14 January 2010 at 9:17am
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ok, done, crying yes! Thinking I was still that career driven woman after having my beautiful daughter I returned to work, only to leave again 6 months later to be there for my child.
Thanks for sharing that - Its easier to forget inbetween washing , feeding and changing bums that these little people are really our biggest achievements! ------------- http://lilypie.com]
http://lilypie.com]
http://lilypie.com]
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