Gender dissapointment..
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Topic: Gender dissapointment..
Posted By: BaAsKa
Subject: Gender dissapointment..
Date Posted: 22 February 2007 at 5:25pm
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This might be one of those touchy subjects but i have just recieve one of my baby club emails about "gender dissapointment" and i wanted to hear others views and experiences with this subject.
When i was pregnant with my son everyone was willing it to be a girl after my nephew was born (i guess because there was already a boy now!?) so being my first i took there words to heart and set my hopes on a girl then when i found out Bay was a boy i cried!!! i walked around the shops trying to find clothes and would start bawling whenever i saw something pretty and pink  ...It didnt take me long to get over it but family and friends dampened the situation with comments like "oh im sorry you didnt get what you wanted" anyway now i am pregnant again and after the last time i swore black and blue that i would not get my heart set on any gender inparticular and in fact i would love another boy because Bay was an absolutely blissful baby!! BUT in come the family and friends and now strangers saying "oh i bet your hoping for a girl after having a boy" well now this comment makes me so mad!!! 
becuase how dare they make me feel horrible like i did with my first pregnancy and its these peoples comments that intensify the problem!!
I certainly do not judge those who are really wanting a certain sex because i have gone through it before so cannot judge. Im just curious as to what others think of the subject and what have they experienced. |
Replies:
Posted By: Sarah Beth
Date Posted: 22 February 2007 at 5:50pm
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It is quite odd as I always wanted a girl, but when I fell pregnant I was certain we were having a boy. I am not sure if this was because I really was sure, or more trying to protect myself from disappointment if bubs turned out to be a boy. When we found out I was over the moon and if he comes out a girl I think i will be disappointed!
I think other peoples expectations can't help but impact how you feel. Many just presume you want the pigeon pair whereas a lot of people actually want 2 of the same! Perhaps also like in your situation it is more what they want you to have that is impacting their comments. ------------- "> 
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Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 22 February 2007 at 5:59pm
| Very true Sarah Beth, and also i felt horrible because i felt like i let everyone down! I never had my heart set on anything when i first got pregnant with Bay but it all started when others put in their opinions! |
Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 22 February 2007 at 7:22pm
when i found out i was pregnant with jack, i really wanted a girl. don't know why but i just did. everyone around me had girls so i knew that i was going to have a boy. when we went for a scan and the dude pointed the scanner thingee in the place to find out the sex, i knew instantly what that white line was! i admit, i was very disappointed but not surprised. took me a couple of days to get 'over' it and then i loved the idea of a boy as no one else had one
with charli, we didn't find out the sex and i was 100% positive she was a boy. i was so excited at the thought of raising my 2 boys together and how they were going to be best mates......when she was born, dean said 'we have a girl' i was like.....'what'.....a girl....are you sure??'  and yes, i was actually disappointed that i got a girl. but that only lasted til she was put in front of me and then i was soooo over it!
lol i've blabbed on too long and can't remember what the question was  ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 22 February 2007 at 7:28pm
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I have a lot of people say to me "oh, you have three girls. Are you going to try for a boy?" To be perfectly honest, whilst I would like another baby and I'd be perfectly happy with a boy, I would ben equally as happy with another girl coz I love my girls to bits and besides, boys scare me!
With Maya I 'knew' from day one that she was a girl, but like some others have mentioned I think I was just trying to convince myself of that because I really, really wanted a girl (knew I was going to end up a single Mum and I think male role models are even more important for boys than girls). And with the gremlins I had no idea, but I did breathe a huge sigh of relief at not having identical twin boys, not that there's anything wrong with that it's just that I have a hard enough time trying to 'get' the twin connection the girls have without throwing in the gender card as well! -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 22 February 2007 at 7:34pm
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hehe jacksmum you did answer the question anyway
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 22 February 2007 at 7:35pm
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emma - YOU ARE ON HOLIDAY - what are you still doing on here...
anyway my MIL wanted a girl cause she only has boy grandkids - and when we told her it was a boy after the scan she said "oh dear, thats a shame." i knew it was a boy and didnt care about the sex cause i was just glad to finally be having a baby. then along came no 2 and the when people asked if i wanted a girl i would say no, i want another boy. i knew he was a boy too. people do ask if i would like to try for a girl but i wouldnt care if i had three boys... the boys are great... you have to be firm with people when pregnant cause they can really play havoc with your emotions, and you dont need that... ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 22 February 2007 at 8:23pm
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I really really really didn't want a girl, I posted long and ranty about it a few months back. It really got my back up when people would say "oh, so this time you'll want a girl. pigeon pair blah blah" and I'm thinking (and later, when the hormones took over, saying) "Hell, no, hormones, bitchy moods, teen pregnancies, nasty little girls, nasty catty teenagers, etc etc" I actually relished telling people, no, actually I really want another boy. I was pleased when we couldn't see the sex at the 20 week scan, because I didn't think I'd be able to cope knowing I was having a girl, for another 20 weeks. When I found out just before Dad died at 33 weeks, I was a little dissapointed, but I knew in my heart of hearts that baby was a girl, anyway, so I had gotten "used" to the idea. I also knew, that when she was born, I would get over the dissapointement, that it would melt away when I had her in my arms, and I would love her, no matter what, and you know what? I do, and I wouldn't change her for anything (although that may change in 12 or so years...) I think it is perfectly natural to have a gender preference, but people need to be careful in assuming that you want one of each. I had everyone fooled, when people knew we knew, and we didn't tell, all I owuld say was that I wasn't getting what I wanted, and everyone "assumed" baby was another boy! ha ha suckers!
ahhhh rant rant blather... ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 22 February 2007 at 8:29pm
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Everyone has said things so well already, I'm not sure if I need to post... but I just like talking lol!
I was so sure that Hannah was going to be a boy We never found out during the pg so imagine my shock at the birth! Then we got pg with #2 and everyone asked if we were hoping for a boy this time... I think it's a pretty general question that people ask, thinking that everyone wants one of each gender. Well I was pretty neutral until we chose the girl's name and I got the baby clothes out and all the cute little 3mo pinks!! (We also didn't find out on her scan). And after that I hoped and was sure about a girl. And much the same again for Krysti.
The comments are even worse now that I have three girls and I have to be really onto it to curtail them. I love my girls, I'm not too fussed on boys at this stage (I think you just grow to what you have actually, after my first baby), but most of the comments I get just sound so horrible and negative all the time! Two midwives at the hospital (not mine) offered me a "recipe" for baby boys with a *wink wink*, and perfect strangers come up to me in shops asking "three girls?" (which I don't mind), followed by some consoling story about someone who had three girls/boys followed by the fourth child of opposite sex
I have to be quick with comments like "I love having girls" "Imagine all the fun I'm gonna have with pretty pink dresses" etc, but fortuntely most of the comments I get are from acquaintances/strangers, not family. Especially since I have a niece and no nephews! This must be a sore point, I too have rambled... I guess it's still fresh ------------- |
Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 22 February 2007 at 8:35pm
| Hubby and i were positive kobe was a girl and when we found out otherwise we were totally shocked, not so much disappointed (well I might have been cos i never wanted a boy but shhh dont tell anyone) it took days to actually get my head around the fact we were having a boy. then this time everyone said oh bet you want a girl but I actually wasnt to worried. I think there is just a whole expectation you will want one of each which is odd really. |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 22 February 2007 at 8:53pm
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i was sure i was having a girl both times and was also sure i would disappointed if they were boys - we "decided" (i put that in quotation marks as Lewis more or less made me promise) not to find out the sex, and so they were both laid on me, jake lewis said "it's a boy", Taine, i ended up checking as Lewis left to ring the grandparents, and I forgot to ask the midwife!
We are planning a third baby well down the track and everyone has asked me too if we want a girl, but to tell the truth, I'd love three boys!!! although in saying that went to Pumpkin patch today and there are so many cute girlie clothes - oh well, thats what my niece is for! |
Posted By: MILF
Date Posted: 22 February 2007 at 9:27pm
just a short post  i have 2 girls and wouldnt change it for the world, i just think dh and i were made to have girls. i knew from when i found out about my pregnancy that jordis was a girl (based on conception vs ovulation etc) and dh and i were stoked. when it was confirmed at the scan we were just relieved. but i was so so upset at reactions from family - ranging from "what is wrong with this family with all the girls" (my family seem to produce lots of girls) to "oh, i wanted a boy" (as if it is anything to anyone else. I cried a lot after these reactions, and kept apologising to dh for letting him down and not giving him a boy. he got really angry with me, one of the first times he has, and told me i was being stupid, he adored xanthe and couldnt wait for another wee girl to love. so for us, jordis is the most perfect addition to the family we could have. The only thing i have noticed is i am so so protective of her, and any suggestion that another baby would be on the cards in order to get a boy. i have shot down in flames anyone who has suggested she is somehow second best, and will continue to do so to anyone who says something around me. I guess that is just a hangup i have from childhood.. my brother was one of 3 boys out of 20 girl cousins etc, and the boys were doted on by all the uncles (most of whom hadnt had any boys themselves) So knowing how hurtful those throwaway comments are, i am working to dampen them down now before my girls are aware of them.
girls rule! 
ok, so maybe not a short post after all..... ------------- Lyla - mum to Xanthe - my big 4 year old 
and Jordis - 1 year old 
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Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 22 February 2007 at 10:07pm
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I always wanted a girl...and was thrilled when it was confirmed....BUT DH wanted a boy and would still want her to maybe come out a boy!!! He was pretty disappointed at the scans where we found out she was a girl....and took him a while to get over it....
I dont mind if the next one (yeah right!!) is either but for DH i would probably want it to be a boy...but then i know plenty of people with three girls (and not just Emma) so who knows...Id be happy with all girls....btu DH would like to stamp his manhood on this world!!!!
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Posted By: Jennz
Date Posted: 23 February 2007 at 3:18am
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I think with this one I will be dissapointed either way! So hard to please me I have reasons for wanting both and although I prefer the idea of another girl I wouldn't mind a boy either. I think people automatically assume you want one of each, that doesn't worry me too much but its when they start putting ideas into your head- like trying to talk you around into wanting one or the other that I get annoyed. I've made a few comments to MIL about how I would prefer 2 girls and she always tries to 'talk me around' to the idea of a boy- its not like it will make a difference! I'm not the one carrying the XY and no amount of talking is going to make this baby a certain sex. Silly woman. This is their last grandchild and they have 3 grand-daughters so they really want this one to be a boy- if anything that just makes me want a girl more
Only 14 more weeks... ------------- Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3 
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Posted By: cat
Date Posted: 23 February 2007 at 8:53am
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On a slightly different note, we haven't found out what we are having and are not worried either way (though my husband is convinced it will be a boy - most of his extended family are boys, and mine for that matter).
However, I've been having dreams almost every night in the last few weeks that it is a boy and the dreams are so vivid, I think I've almost convinced myself that it will be a boy. I still certainly won't be disappointed if it's a girl but I'm worried it could be a bit of a shock. Does this make sense? Not sure if I'm rambling! -------------  
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Posted By: ginger
Date Posted: 23 February 2007 at 8:59am
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Hehe ...I saw this thread and couldn't resist.
Poor DH is terrified at the thought of having a girl. He's not so worried about the girl baby thing, or particularly wanting a son, it's just that girls turn 16 eventually, and the thought petrifies him!! He's so funny ...he goes all pale whenever he sees groups of screeching girls together ...and tends to chant "I *don't* want girls, I *don't* want girls" until he's in a safe place again (ie. the screeching girls have moved on).
Also, I remember a friend of mine who was a hairdresser saying that when she had her second baby, a second boy for her, and went back to work, the vast majority of women would come into the salon, ask her what she had (she had a surprise) and then would say "Ohhhh... you must be *so* disappointed". ??? (She wasn't by the way) ------------- Cuinn Lachlan 23.1.09 - 22:00 Antonia Helene 4.8.11 - 09:41 |
Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 23 February 2007 at 9:24am
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Oh gosh! i have things to say and agree with with all the posts but there was a big rush of posts while i was alsleep! lol so my post would end up taking up a few pages!! lol
Il try to shorten it ( i said 'try' lol)... Iv noticed a few of you mention the MIL (or mother, i may have overlooked that! lol) and this is a big thing for me too because my MIL always wanted a girl for her 3rd child and got a boy! so she has carryed that through to her grandkids! which i think is half the reason i have problems with her favouring the others over Bay because she was over the moon when they came out girls but not so happy with my boy!! and in that sense i hope i have another boy just to stick it to her!! whoops thats an angry topic so i best not go on! lol.
I have to agree with a few of you in saying that i may well be dissapointed with either sex as i have looked at the good sides of both and feel like i might miss those points. When i told DH that Bay was a boy he looked shocked and didnt say anything he just stared at the little jumper saying "baby boy" on it!! which made me even more upset because it seemed that he wanted a girl first time too but Bay is a real daddas boy now and DH just loves having a son  and loves that Bay follows him around with his little plastic hammer trying to copy dadda (although i think a girl may well do the same too but ah well).
DH says that he doesnt mind what this baby is but i hear the strain in his voice when he says that another boy would be cool and then he said to me once (only once because he saw how it affected me - feeling like i may let him down!) that he would love a girl to call his little princess and he wants to name her cos shell be his princess yadayada! and he wasnt sure about a boy cos he didnt want to take any boy attention away from Bay!!?? Yup it confusses me too! i think hes trying to say what i want to hear but every now and then he says what he really means! Ah well i guess (well i hope!!) il find out this tuesday as i have another scan to have a proper look at bubs sex
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Posted By: 11111
Date Posted: 23 February 2007 at 9:44am
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Ok so I have the same I was sure Alan was a boy and we found out at the scan. With Mikey I was sure he was a boy, but hubby family was hoping for a girl(I think it was cause Jen has passed away and and Mikey was also due around her birthday. We were not going to find out with Mikey, but I was so worried everyone would be dissapointed I wanted to warn everyone. I was sure I was having another boy. Anyway at the scan I know I saw Penis however the the guy doing the scan would not confirm it.
Anyway I think when I get Preggy next time I would really like a girl, but be more then happy with another boy plus I have a really cool boy's name I really want to use. As for hubby he was a little disapointed with Mikwy being a boy he really love's him to bit's and would not trade him, but he was also very distance with him to start with. I am a little worried how he will be is our next is a boy. ------------- Deborah Mum to:   
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Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 23 February 2007 at 9:51am
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cat..i was 100% positive i was having another boy, yet towards the end of the pregnancy every dream i had, it was a girl! i was so surprised when charli was born ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 23 February 2007 at 11:17am
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I've got two perspectives on this:
Firstly, when I was pregnant with Josiah we had lots of people saying "Oh, I bet you want a boy because you already have a girl" etc... Josiah was Nat's first child, so gender didn't matter to him - all Nat cared about was that he was about to become a father in addition to being a daddy (if you understand what I mean). I didn't mind either way - I knew how to handle girls (so the thought of a boy slightly scared me) but having a boy was a nice thought too. Secondly, when I was pregnant with Xavier, most people would say "I guess you don't mind what you have because you've already got one of each"... WHAT!!!! Actually, Nat kinda wanted a girl so that he had one of each of his own, and I kinda wanted a boy because I knew it would make life a little easier if the two kids closest in age were the same gender when it came to sharing rooms and stuff. ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: mamanee
Date Posted: 23 February 2007 at 11:31am
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Early on in my pregnancy I kept dreaming I was having a cat!!
But then towards the middle I dreamt that I was feeding a little blue eyed boy, and then another time I dreamt I was pushing a little blue eyed boy around KMART, except he had greying hair..
I was quite convinced early on that my baby was a boy. I would have been happy either way, but in the scan room when we found out he was a boy, I could see the relief instantly on DPs face. My MIL said to me before we found out the sex 'Oh, I hope for your sake that it's a girl, it would make it easier on you'. WTF?! She's great at these backhanded insults that I look silly for getting offended at. She also REFUSES to say 'him'. She uses the word 'It' because even though the lady doing my scan said she was 99% sure it was a boy, MIL refuses to believe those odds until 'he, or she' comes out. Which is annoying because I'm sick of her calling my baby 'it'. Whether that means she wants it to be a girl, since she already has two grandsons, I have no idea, but SCREW her. I am having a little boy. Myself and her son are extremely happy about it and I won't let her rain on my parade! |
Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 23 February 2007 at 11:49am
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gosh! my bent MIL isnt so uncommon afterall!
lol eomachine! - having dreams about having a cat! hehehe i think you can safely say that he wont be comming out a cat!
I kept having dreams that i was having a little blonde blue eyed boy and i would always brush it off because i thought "how the hell would i end up with that colouring!?" (im dark haired dark eyes and hubby has dark red hair and brown eyes) but low and behold here he is now with blonde hair and blue eyes!!! plus i was also certain that he was a girl so i also brushed that off!! Iv had dreams about having either sex this time but the boy always seems to be healthy and the girl always seems a little small???? like barbie doll size!!???? |
Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 23 February 2007 at 12:01pm
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Hmm....I would like to add my 2c worth!!
When I got pregnant every one said to me that I was having a boy...I was like no way, I want a girl...I always did. Then in all my scans I never found out what it was....my hubby told me he "didnt care whar we had because it was our first and that he wants it to be healthy....but...I would love a boy so that he can play soccer with me" At my 28 week scan I found out that I was having a girl...and was shocked, because by now I was also starting to believe that I was having a boy! But after a min I was very very happy! I phoned my hubby and told him and he said "see I told you we were having a girl, since every one was jumping up and down saying that its a boy"....I asked him if he was dissapointed and he told me NO. I didnt believe him...and said sorry that it was a girl...he called me stupid too ...LOL Now Zaara is such a Daddy's girl and he is totally in love with her...and told me the other day that he wont mind another girl! BUT to be quite honest I WANT A BOY! I always thought that I would have a girl first and boy later. MIL was very happy that I had a girl (she had three boys) and she is very religious and the day she was born (31st Oct 05) was a day before Diwali and meant to be good luck if a family gets a girl! Yippy all were happy. I am going to be dissapointed if my next is a girl....but would love them to death either way! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 23 February 2007 at 12:15pm
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Eomachine... your mw sounds horrible, how are you supposed to be able to relax and confide your feelings about birth/baby with her for support? I really don't like her lol, I'd be looking for a new one if I were you. ------------- |
Posted By: mamanee
Date Posted: 23 February 2007 at 12:40pm
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Heh, did you mean my midwife or my mother in law? Cause all of that applies to both of them!
My midwife is terrible (I have a new one though! I see her on the 7th of March and she is lovely). The one I have in Thames is a grumpy, mean, abrupt woman who just pushes me out the door once she's written 'is well' in her book, and that's it! My mother in law is an opinionated, tactless, know-it-all who says anything that comes to her mind regardless of how it affects others. Like for example, yesterday we went out for lunch and the cafe we went to was STIFLING hot and I started to feel a bit ill so I was a bit quiet and stood outside for a bit while they were still ordering. Later on she said "Oh, you poor thing, you're suffering terribly". I said "Well, to be honest, I don't think I am suffering too badly, I felt a bit ill, but overall, I've been ok". So then she says "Oh, but you have to admit that you've had quite a few 'episodes'" She seems to think that I am suffering in the heat and that I can't cope. Everytime I put my hand anywhere near my stomach she's right there saying "Oh, are you having a bad day dear?" NO! I'm just touching my stomach woman, I'm allowed to do that. Oh dear. I really have to get out of her house! ONE MORE WEEK!.
Sorry everyone! |
Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 23 February 2007 at 1:48pm
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Lol Renee....I know how you feel....my MIL wasnt that bad tho.
You know how it is being a DIL...you are never good enough or strong enough or beautiful enough or tall enough or.....I could go on....but you get my drift? ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 23 February 2007 at 2:02pm
wow! i feel so sorry for all you ladies having to put up with bitchy MIL's! 
i'm one of the few lucky ones and have a great MIL ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 23 February 2007 at 2:04pm
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When I was pregnant with Andrew I really wanted to know and was gutted that at every scan it coudln't been seen, either he was in a funny position or had his legs crossed. Anytime I said he had his legs crossed I as told "you must be having a girl". I did want a girl as I was one of 3 girls and had only ever changed a girls nappy. When I had a scan at 38 weeks and the OB could see he asked if I wanted to know and as I was so angry with him (long story) I told him where to go and didn't care what I was having (I later found out he told my MW as she wanted to know). While I was trying to push him out during one of my breaks/stops in contractions I told my MW I was having a boy and she told me I think you are right (still didn't know that the OB had told her) and then when he came out I was the one that got to see first what I had. I was happy that I had him and a little scared of having a boy at first but once I realised how easy he was I loved having a boy. This pregnancy I was determined not to leave the hospital (having the scan taken) until I knew what we were having. I did want a girl (the whole I already have a boy thing was in my head and people were asking me) but I was sure I was having another boy. I was right, after I found out I was like, so easy don't have to buy a new set of clothes (pink and girly stuff) as I still had all of Andrew's stuff packed away. Everything I had was for a boy and I knew that I could spend my money on stocking up supplies (nappies, wipes etc) for this one instead of buying new clothes. Anytime some asked me what I was having I said a boy and they aske dif I was dissapointed to not be having a girl - hell no, after having a number of girls parties in at work and the squealing and crying I was glad I was having another boy. Deep down I do want my girl more-so so I can be the mother of the bride after seeing my mum at my wedding. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: Nikki
Date Posted: 23 February 2007 at 3:15pm
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This is so interesting!
DH and I are very opinionated about this -- I am a very girly girl who grew up with one sister and mainly girl cousins, and DH is a blokey boy who grew up with 4 brothers and mainly boy cousins - hence I REALLY wanted girls only and DH really wanted a boy first (doesn't mind after that though, and would be happy with girls next). So one of us was gonna be dissapointed! I knew all along it was a boy and all my dreams were of boys (my whole life i've dreamt only of me having boy babies. BTW eomachine - my boys sometimes turned into cats too!) anyway, most people close to me seemed to think it was a boy and DH was 100% sure ... so I wasn't surprised to find out it was a boy (also think I was trying to get my head around it just incase, even tho I was secretly hoping it was a girl!!!!). I have been surprised that everyone seems to assume I'll be happy with having a boy. Most people tell me he'll be a mummys boy or that they're easier etc. My sister, dad, stepdad and I think MIL (she had 5 boys and only has girl grandchildren) and DH all wanted it to be a boy ... only me and mum perferred a girl. I was really happy when we first found out, and I'm happy DH is getting what he wants, and as its the first grandchild on my side, its nice that its the first boy grandchild on the other side ... BUT i'm still a little sad! haha. My reasons? Well, I'm not interested in making lego cars or boys sports, I don't even know how to wash boys bits ... or what to talk to little boys about. I'm more interested in fairy partys and ballet, than pirates and motorcross/rugby! and when the kids are older, most (not all) boys are worse at keeping in contact with their parents and when they get married they tend to spend more time with the wife's family (generally, as girls seem to have more pull to their family) ... and I want to be mother of the bride, and grandmother, not grandMIL etc. silly I know, but thats how I feel. and so many of you don't seem close to MIL so I'm sure they would get to see grandkids less than your own mum!! anyway ... as long as he's healthy ... and we have a girl next!
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 23 February 2007 at 3:41pm
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Nikki I think you're very observant about boys vs girls (your last para). Right on!
Renee I misread
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eomachine wrote:Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 23 February 2007 at 3:55pm
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Eomachine - i started up an angry rambling thread which was about MILs so feel free to hunt it out and have a good ol moan!
Nikki, if it makes any difference - i thought the same way as you in terms of 'what am i going to have in common with a boy!?' but turns out i LOVE collecting thomas characters with my son and playing with them with Bay i dunno what is it about the thomas characters!!??? the diecast inparticular facinate me!!
Its funny about the cleaning boy parts thing too because i cant recall thinking about what to do with Bay before he was born but when iv had to look after my 2 neices on many occasions iv gone to change their nappy or give them a bath and just thought "UUUUHHHH what the hec am i meant to do with that thing!?" considering im a girl myself it did kind of baffle me! LOL i also had this conversation with my best friend who had a girl the same time i had my boy and she asked how the hec do i clean everything!? and i said that i find (after my neices) that girly bits are harder for me because...well...theres more to it!..Boy bits are all on the outside and easier to clean...i need not say more! hahaha
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Posted By: Nikki
Date Posted: 23 February 2007 at 4:17pm
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We were at a friends place a few weeks ago, and their 8 (??) year old boy asked me to make lego cars with him - hello - how on earth do you make lego cars!? So that was where I kinda got that reason, I'm not interested in guns, cars, motorbikes etc ... thankfully this boy has a father who is very blokey, so I will have to leave all that to him!
Everyone says not to worry he will be a mummys boy - not if DH (or dad/step dad) has anything to do with it! He's already talking league and motorcross bikes etc! I will freak at dangerous sports tho - eek! It also makes me laugh that people say to me, oh well boys are easier anyway. I have seen alot of loud, naughty, destructive, violent little boys in my time! Arghh! I read something years ago re boys vs girls being easier to parent. The research showed that it depended on your personality, and which bad traits you can handle better, ie: if you can handle the clingy, whiney, catty side of girls better or if you can handle the loud, breaking things, throwing things side of boys better. Even tho 90% of people I know disagree with me, I find little girls easier to be around, and easier to communicate with. I think being a girl I can relate to them better (remember I have no brothers or male cousins close to my age either) I guess I may change my mind. Everyone I know with boys seem to think they're wonderful. Anwyay --- too late now!! I'm having a boy! And I'm over the moon it is a boy as DH is sooooo happy and excited. But next time ..... |
Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 23 February 2007 at 4:35pm
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i do believe what 'they' say - Babies that are easy are harder toddlers and babies that a hard are easy toddlers!!! seems to be the way so far with Bay, i must say who was possibly the easiest baby ever!! is now an opinionated little toad!! lol hes not a bad toddler but out of everything on him he looks exactly like his father but he gets my stubborn as opinionated load mouth trait!! lol so i relate to him that way! lol
Not sure about the little girl thing though because my neices and friends girls a little toads!!!! lol but gorgous little toads though 
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Posted By: MelanieAndBree
Date Posted: 23 February 2007 at 4:52pm
Thats funny. The other night i dreamt i had my baby and i was sitting there with him/her (didnt know what it was!) and it got off the bed and ran off and then it turned into a cat. It was weird. I have to say, i do want a girl and i think its going to be a boy. Just cause life does little things like that to me. Lol. Im scared that if it is a boy ill be dispointed. Id feel horrible if i did. ------------- Melanie. Mum to Briahna Robyn, 3yrs |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 23 February 2007 at 7:35pm
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[QUOTE=ginger] Hehe ...I saw this thread and couldn't resist.
Poor DH is terrified at the thought of having a girl. He's not so worried about the girl baby thing, or particularly wanting a son, it's just that girls turn 16 eventually, and the thought petrifies him!! He's so funny ...he goes all pale whenever he sees groups of screeching girls together ...and tends to chant "I *don't* want girls, I *don't* want girls" until he's in a safe place again (ie. the screeching girls have moved on).
A man after my own heart... teenage girls scare the living hell out of me, especailly in groups...*shuddershudder* ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 23 February 2007 at 7:40pm
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Oh yeah, and the first few months of having Jake, i felt like a child molesterer EVERY time I changed his nickers... First time I changed Charlotte, I was like, um, what do i do?? ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: Nikki
Date Posted: 26 February 2007 at 9:41am
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The weirdest thing is that everyones main argument against having girls seems to be that she may one day come home pregnant when shes a teenager! Well, you could also have a son bring home a pregnant girlfriend!! chances are these teenage girls are getting pregnant to teenage boys - and it could impact the boys life just as much. You just have to raise them the best you can and hope for the best eh?!
And if we have a teenage son who turns out like DH and a girl like me - we will have alot more trouble with the boy! I think teenage boys are more likely to come home injured (or dead!) as they mature later and are much bigger risk takers. I think I will struggle watching him play rugby/leage or motorcross riding - but once he gets his liscence - arghhh ....
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Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 26 February 2007 at 10:58am
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I think when they get to teenagers theres risks and dislikes for either sex and i agree that you could just as easily have a boy who brings home a pregnant girlfriend!! I think because with the girls they actually physically have to give up school etc where as the guy just has to give up money and time but either way..
If we have a girl like me and a boy like hubby (already got the boy like hubby! ) then we will have more trouble with the girl because DH was always a very good boy who did as he was told and was a high achiever but me well i was mischeif (still good in school but naughty! ).
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 26 February 2007 at 12:15pm
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I have to say, me not wanting a girl, wasn't anything to do with the teen pregnancy thing, I have a teen stepson, so we worry about that with him as well, and he has just got his liscence, holy schmokes. For me, it was more about the whole "nastiness" of girls, and how insidious the whole thing is, especially when they get from about 10 up. At least with boys, its just a bit of fisticuffs in the playground, and its all over, with girls, they are so catty and nasty, and dramatic etc. I don't think it is how you raise them either, I'm pretty sure 99% of us experienced some form of girl nastiness when we were growing up, and maybe even delt out some of our own. Teen girls just freak me out... (I watched that movie 13, and that was a deal sealer for me!) ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: hailstones
Date Posted: 26 February 2007 at 12:30pm
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I just have to say that I think its sooo funny that EVERYONE seems to have an opinion about your pregnancy, the sex, how big you are etc. And the fact that they all voice their opinions so loudly has been such an eyeopener for me.
I soo wanted to know what we were having and Dh didn't but Bubs made its mind up and sat on its legs throughout the 20 week scan, and even though I could have had more scans to find out I suddendly did't want to know, and thought that 'Oh well it was meant to be this way'. I always wanted a Girl, being from a family of 3 girls just thought that was easier, so many people have told me I'm having a boy, so much so that I have told myself that it'll be boy, dh and I have yet to really think about any girls names whatsoever. Now I don't mind at all either way, I admit if it comes out a girl I will probably be shocked. But other people are more concerned than we are about it and keep asking what we want. My answer is always "A BABY" ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: AN E
Date Posted: 26 February 2007 at 12:52pm
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People are so funny - predicting what sex bubs will be!
Standard set of questions: 1st question - "Oohh, so when are you due?" 2nd questions - "So do you know if you're having a boy or a girl?" [Not going to find out till bubs is born] Comment "I think you are having a ...." Really!!!!!! 
Me:I have always thought that I'd wait till the birth to find out. You have to go through all that pain - it's nice to have something to look forward to!!! Comment "But you'll have a lovely little baby to hold" Really!!!!!!
Funny!
The only thing is looking at clothing... the neutral stuff is just, well, so boring! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 26 February 2007 at 12:55pm
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hehe thats always my answer to hailstones - "a healthy baby"
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Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 26 February 2007 at 12:56pm
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AN E thats the only reason we want to find out is so we can get one particular colour as neutrals are hard!!! and we are also impatient!! lol
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Posted By: Nikki
Date Posted: 26 February 2007 at 1:49pm
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Ooh ... little girls clothes are so much cuter too ... I look over at the girls stuff and could almost cry! haha. Think of the money I'm saving though!!
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Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 26 February 2007 at 3:44pm
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After having my son i KNOW that there are awsome boys clothes out there so am not fussed either way we had some really trendy stuff for Bay when he was a little bubs but before he was born i never thought there was anything good for boys, just goes to show i wasnt paying attention
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 26 February 2007 at 9:16pm
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Yeah, jakie has the cutest wardrobe...
I used to say to people who asked what I wanted/thought I was having "well, i'm really hoping for a new puppy" hahahahahahaha ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 27 February 2007 at 9:21am
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hehe id love a new puppy but i doubt that it whats comming out!! lol
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